All Comments on 'Katie's Roommate'

Meh. Didn’t do much for me. Thanks.

Wow that’s a bunch of screwed up people hahaha. Couldn’t really get comfortable with anyone in this story. But hey I couldn’t write myself out of a wet paper bag

I enjoyed this, considered it great even without reading all of the story. I skipped the lesbian torture bits, the thought that she was manipulated to leave her husband was enough. Plus there were enough tidbits scattered throughout the rest of the story to give an idea of how bad it got for her.

the second half was telegraphed but still sweet... a little too perfect but I'm ok with that. Thankfully there's some sex in this tale, without it, it may have been disappointing.

Very enjoyable

Was good until you brought Katie back into the relationship. Total turn off for me. 2*

Enjoyed it… glad Katie got out of that distructive lesbian relationship. Having two loving wives is a very dream. No so much with reality… but hey, it worked for them. I did enjoy reading this story. To me… writing about the lesbian torture acts really showed how bad a relationship Katie was in wth Gwen. Good job… thank-you

The fuck

John didn’t fight for his wife, he gave her to Gwen. He didn’t care then, and he only pretends to care now.

Gwen didn’t change, she never disguised her intentions, John did.

John and Gwen were cut from the same cloth, the only difference is that John was a better actor.

Things got crazy after Katrina resurfaced. The story became a most predictable fantasy.

On the plus side, it’s really long…

I liked it. Pretty good ending considering all things. While I don’t think most people deserve abuse it was a descent way for to realize what she had done and also punished for it. I

Pretty sad piece of shit. Both him and the story. Couldn't even finish it was so off putting. Just my opinion but won't be reading you again.

Last three chapters ruined the story

What a load of bullshit -10

Changing of narrators, sometimes even within a paragraph, is a no go. An editor should have pointed that out.

I don't know. Kinda not feeling this one. Katie should have been spending her days in therapy getting treated for Stockholm Syndrome. There would have been lawsuits to deal with because you know Gwen wouldn't be able to let Katie get away with how she left. Even Gwen's friends would have pushed her to show Katie that disrespect of a Dom has a penalty. Katie would be left trying to prove she really was abducted and held as a sex slave.

John is too chill. I don't buy any guy putting up with the passive-aggressive crap from Katrina that he does. On top of that, Katie comes back and picks up with her passive-aggressive B.S. as well. Then the two join in in belittling John, calling him stupid, dumb, and a bunch of other P-A put downs. At some point he would snap and tell them to keep their mouths shut or get out. He can always play football and meet another wife.

seriously, who calls their loved by names like Katrina and Katie do? If I did that to my spouse or they did it to me there would be words.

Wow, im not sure who needs help the most the reader or the author

This is not even realistic. simply fantasy. never would happen.

Polyamory. It only works in fiction.

Overall, I enjoyed it. It was definitely too long and several parts made me cringe at how badly written it was. (The story, not the words.) Still, I was happy with how it ended.

I, too, wonder about his heritage, as apparently not only can he see the future, he has the power to turn women bi. While that's cool when they bring a woman home to share, it's obviously not so cool when they run off with one..

I have to be honest I only like poly stories with the FMCs being identical twins. Two women born from one egg loving the same man. Those make more sense.

Well written and contracted but the plot ran aground in a couple places. Despite your best efforts, a happy wife in love with her family and everyone around her does not have a switch that goes to lesbian submissive. Nope. Then, you try to have us believe a man who has hit heart ripped out in the worst possible way would let it repeat itself. I know you left little turds so I saw it coming before you did (maybe I'm related to John? LOL!). Never would have gone down that path, nor would Katrina. Your biggest flaw is your writing is so immersive, you tie your hands on logical progression of a story. 3.7*

PS -Well written and constructed...LOL

I liked your tale, although I could only give you 4 stars because it was so far-fetched. I also didn't like the change in narrators or the change from third-person omniscient to first person, but that may just be me. Your forte is definitely your ability to write sex scenes--every one of them had me hard as steel and dripping precum--so I hope you write more tales. The sex included acts that were extremely depraved so I, of course, enjoyed them immensely. Please write tales with the same sex acts, and I will be one of your fans. Cheers!

Sorry. I could not finish it. Gwen is an evil piece of work and Katie's reappearance becomes impossible

This was a fun story, but the interactions seemed rushed. I understand it was to not drag the story out, but it just seemed inorganic. It probably should have been broken into at least two parts, Katie's fall and Katie's redemption.

There were also some structural problems. You would go from 1st to 3rd person, you have to pick one and stay with it. Also indicate when time and location change. One paragraph Katrina is in Katie's parents house, the next she is waking John up in their bed.

Again it was a fun read, but there is room for improvement. Keep at it, you can only get better.

But you never explained why John would want to be involved with two people who are the functional relationship equivalent of street meth addicts, or how having sex erases his memory, emotions, and cognitive abilities? Couldn't you at least touched on that somehow, to make any of this make sense?

I've read some train wreck writing here, but this takes the cake. Do everyone a favor and smash your laptop, the world will be a better place.

I stoped reading after page 5. Was toooooooo predictable.

I would have never been cool with the ex again, especially after abandoning her own children. So when the new wife offered to never see her again after their kiss, I would have quickly agreed to that and kept it moving. Bye Katie , don't let the door hit ya!

It was a bit too extreme for my taste, especially the lesbian torture. Katie would have been left traumatised and needing a lot of recovery work, just as a woman who had been raped by a man would. She would have had problems following that with another relationship with a woman.

As to John having a loving relationship with two women, there must be many such relationships around the world. I have been offered a relationship with twin sisters, with a mother and her adult daughter and a bi woman and her partners.

You were heading for a clear 5/5 and then Chapter 6 just killed it. Why the fuck you took it in that direction beats me, just gratuitous sex to beef up your story. A woman not even bi curious suddenly goes all lez, that’s bullshit and you know it. As a plot device it and you failed bigtime.

I could go on, but l’d waste my time.

Anyway you are now 3/5 for this fuck up and l truly think you should be 2/5.

So gratuitous an ending, lezzos sharing a dope who cannot see the wood for the trees.

I hope your next story learns from the rain wreck of this one

Oh, man! The dialogue read like a cross between 'Reefer Madness' and 'Dragnet 1968.' The preachy, officious, documentary tone only lacked the burbling of the 16mm sound pickups. When reading, I heard Jack Webb's voice or Blanche from RM. In real events like this, the manipulation is subtle, using give-and-take that always ends up a weee bit to the wrong side but transparent to the abused. There's guilt, emotion, and pain, both emotional and physical. In short, it's a slow, subtle process that occurs slowly and through subtle machination. In this tale, the only plot device was Katie, who seemed both manic and psychotic. Gwen came off as the same hyperbolic BS villain that is ruining film and television (the Marvel-ized Comic-ifacation of media). There's no skill required to write a creature like this. Yeah, I was unable to get past page 4, so I'm not rating this. Kudos to OP for trying this, but no mercy for using a clueless, naïve, and possibly disturbed woman versus the full suite of manipulation. This was Evel Knievel wiping out while jumping the fountain at Caesar's. Commendable, but still a wipe-out of colossal proportions.

Crap crap crap put it in lesbian not loving wives. Couldn’t finish 1 chapter.

I am a firm believer on equality. What would you do if a guy did what Gwen did? Katie made her choice but Gwen has it coming, hard and repeatedly.

Good writing, however you lost me towards the end. I like stories that evoke emotions but this was too twisted for my liking.

so,what part of it's fiction don't some of you whiners get ??

Story jumped the shark about 1/3 of the way down page 5. Up to that point it had some original thought then it just turned into a strike piece

@Anon: "so,what part of it's fiction don't some of you whiners get ??"

Probably the part where fiction is supposed to be immune from criticism.

Cute fantasy

Started out okay, but I ended up skipping to the end after the 2nd page. The characters were just too dysfunctional for me to engage with the story. Everyone in the story but the kids and grandparents are seriously messed up. This was just too twisted for my taste. I don't think the writing itself is bad, so I am guessing the writer could write something else I might like...unless this writer is one of those that all the stories have the same theme. I won't assume that as I haven't read other stories by this writer. This ended up being 1 star for me though as I couldn't slog through all the messed up stuff happening that various characters seemed okay with.

Rubbish!!! Skimmed through til the kids were all over her as soon as she returned, no kids who have been abandoned by a parent for years, no matter what the remaining parent did is going to just welcome them back that way, then gave up completely when he kissed the ex.

nope

Another lesbian fantasy posted in the wrong category. Very bad.

Fantasy, fiction, both are fine, but it would have been nice to have the tiniest part of the story based in a real world scenario.

Shame really, apart from the repetition of story: football injury, ER, meet amazing nurse, chemistry, love, marriage children, the story had some potential. But you turned the guy into a weak go along with anything man too afraid to act like a man, and the story drifted off the rails.

Loved it . The Gwen factor was horrific but she did get her comeuppance with a vengeance. Really liked the funny little quips that spurted from Katherine's mouth as her light hearted nature offset the dispair you felt while reading of Katie's torture.

Ohhh had to skim through after the 2nd page.

This was probably the best story I have read on this site in a while. I love happy endings and they all got through all of the heartaches before reaching their finality. 5 for me.

Well written overall, and I liked it, but parts of it I didn't like.

Not sure why he and the 2nd wife were so gung ho on a relationship with the 1st wife, but maybe his (unexplained) foreknowledge of events told him it was gonna be hot & cold running pussy 24/7 once the ex moved in.

4 stars from here, because I do like a happy ending, but I couldn't see my way clear to the 5th one because of the pain he had to endure for years.

sorry, but the witch is still 'walking up-right'. One of my favorite expressions. I also think it is in the wrong category. Yeah, they're loving wives, alright, but ...... . The Bear read it, because of the sex. Thanks anyway. 2 stars.

The BEAR

Like happy endings but the husband is an idiot.

Unrealistic fem-pov fetish fantasy with the usual "smart" slut wife and her monkey husband, ending with an even more unbelievable RAAC.

This was incredibly boring, I have no idea what happened as I couldn't make it past the third page.

Just a really long winded and repetitive slog.

It wasn’t too bad until they took the the lying, cheating bitch back and made a happy thruple. It went totally ridiculous.

This was horrible.

A great three or four page story in there somewhere among the redundancies.

3*

No.

It kinda rushed to where I didn't want to see it go. There's my honest feedback.

I will not denigrate your writing abilities, speculate on your parentage or sexual proclivities, or tell you to give up writing. Keep writing.

Maybe there is a next chapter. Hopefully so. In it the landing gear of a low flying plane comes loose only to land on the carload of thruple and that is the end of them. Then the poor kids, with the help of therapy and the grandparents might have a slim chance of a normal and healthy relationship.

This story is...... ?? Well?? A twisted form of a fairy tale? Because it's sure not even plausible fiction. Literfantasy? Maybe the Brothers Grimm do literotica. Yeah... that's it! My hat's off to this Baron von Munchausen.

Great story lots of ups and downs twists and turns, Thank you for a very pleasant read.

Good

But I think there are other hard asses like me. That would have said no to her going to help drive And if she went would have also flown out and put a collar on both necks and drug them around in public

Outrageous Femdom agitprop. Disappointing…

Mark steadily declined to a 3 from me.

You did a great job creating a sissy wimp cuck who couldn't pick a decent woman if his life depended on it. He should leave both of these cheating skank sluts and go be Gwen's bitch, because that is al he's good for. I guess you just really hate men.

You need to give a heads up that way I won’t waste my time reading cuck stories . I didn’t like it period

You can always tell when it’s a good story, just look at the comments if there’s one by Highbrow and he gives us his ‘I am groot’ knee jerk response of ‘Femdom agitprop’ (it’s all he ever says hence…I am groot) then by all means return to page one and have the satisfaction of knowing it’ll be a good read.

Please don’t do this:

[Katrina to Katie at Katie’s parents’ house:] "Yup. We're about to have a heart to heart. And besides, I'll be there to twist his cute little ear if he acts up."

[Very next sentence, Katrina to John at his/their house:] "Wake you you lazy sack and, yes, you should miss me very much and be ever so happy to see me."

If you move your characters, you have to TELL US! If you don’t we have to stop, reread several paragraphs a couple of times and finally figure out what you assumed but didn’t tell us! This isn’t rocket science. Try something like “Katrina takes Katie back to Katrina’s and John’s house. Katrina greets him, ‘Wake up ….’”

‘Pathetic mess’ is the best comment I can come up with! It started out as a 3 and ended as a 1 only so I could vote for how awful I felt it truly was. The violence was gratuitous, over the top and hateful, as was the degenerate Ending.

Ordinarily, I hate forgiveness and reconciliation for a cheater. But in this case, the author managed to convince me. Admittedly, it impacted the quality a bit (the whole "MC supernaturally can tell what the woman will say/do" is just too unrealistic), BUT, (1) it is nevertheless an effective solution to prove she won't lie/cheat again; (2) the fact that MC already has a legal wife who loves him for realzes and the returning cheater won't be entitled to a legal/financial hold on him; and (3) that the returning cheater brings something valueable to the table - at the risk of objectifying a woman, basically an acually working womb, making him more babies - all 3 combined makes this specific reconciliation OK enough for 3.5 stars.

/

The two deductions were 0.5 stars for the whole fantastic ESP by MC, as well as 1 star because gwen should have gone to jail for years, not simply got slightly beaten up.

Started well, ended horribly.

What a load of bull crap!! Don't bother reading, zero in wife left husband for three years for an abuser, no personality wimpy husband take's her back oh yes did I mention he also have a second controlling wife? Heavy femdom

And then the basement dwelling incel woke up and realised iit was all a dream. He then shouted "mum, can you get me a drink" because he knew that at 28 stone he wouldn't be able to make it up the basement steps to the kitchen.

Bonkers but thoroughly enjoyed this ... i think most of the negative comments below need to be reminded that this is fiction and not an affront to their dodgy masculinity

Sorry No Mas as you quoted in the Rock n Roll story. Women keep leaving John for other women. Also, Katrina, who has never been attracted to girls suddenly is? You shoe horned your fantasy into a story that was bottom line dumb and made is divergent and unbalanced. Also John is a dope if he lets it happen again.

Well you can write but your story Sucks. O thanks.