Keep Rehearsing and Keep Performing

She was ready. With the cigarette between her lips and the matches in her hand. It now made sense to do the next step. She had to light this cigarette; however, 'bad' it was for her. It would be good for her and Grant in the long run. She gazed at her deep sparkling blue eyes in the mirror and moved the cigarette a little to the right, as Lauren Bacall always did. Then she removed a match from the box and struck it against the red garnet sand stuck to the side to ignite it. She tutted in frustration; it did not light; it took a further two strikes to get it alight. The heat from between her fingers, and the brightness reflecting back in the mirror was confusing. She got the feeling twice. Looking at her reflected image she moved the dancing flame on the wooden stick towards the white tipped cigarette while tilting her head slightly to the left and once the tip was almost touching the fire she began dragging.

Immediately she noted how much less resistance for her lungs for the suction was offered by the unfiltered cigarette. The smoke-filled air flowed straight through pulling the smoke with much more force than she had intended to. The smoke felt strong and pungent, much more than she was used to, but the dice was now thrown. It was in her mouth. With her free hand she removed the cigarette from her lips and watched in the mirror a waft of creamy smoke float like a ball in front of her nose and then as she inhaled it all quickly disappeared inside. The thick smoke rushed all the way until it completely soaked her lungs with the full fat, high nicotine, pure tar laden smoke.

There was no filter to catch some of the particulates. Rachel instantly got what felt like a load of bricks had punched her from within, creating like a pressure inside her chest. Her eyes widened as the sensation was more intense than anything she could have expected but she maintained composure preparing to expel the smoke. Once the smoke began to flow through her pursed full lips, she directed the stream onto the flaming match to extinguish it and then balanced it on the end of the windowsill beside her. She did not want to hot match to burn the carpet. She was transfixed by her reflection in the mirror and couldn't fathom moving from her spot.

"Oh my God! These things are unbelievable!" she said as if she were talking to the girl in the mirror.

Observing the reflected image, she mentally reviewed all the scenes from the movies she had studied with Grant and alone. She imagined being one of those glamourous Hollywood stars standing in front of a crowd of fans and felt attractive and desirable.

Having passed the first hurdle and recovered from the initial shock, Rachel focused on fully immersing in her vintage daydream. As such she didn't hesitate to move the filterless cigarette back to her mouth for another drag, eager to feed her body once more with the same powerful smoke as Lauren Bacall all those year ago did. Rachel had read up in Wikipedia that she was only slightly older than her when "To Have and Have Not" was filmed.

Rachel pulled hard and stared at the cherry glowing bright for one, two, three seconds until she felt her mouth so packed with smoke that she couldn't take anymore. This time she purposely made a snap inhale and was stunned by the whiteness and density of the ball of smoke that momentarily lingered against the darkness of her open mouth and then as she inhaled it rushed back inside her body down to her lungs to deliver its massive load of nicotine and tar.

She felt a tickle on her tongue. With her thumb and forefinger, she chuckled as she removed a dark flake of unburnt tobacco on the tip of her tongue. Trying to do it in the same womanly elegant manner she had seen in the movies. Within seconds she smiled at herself, cocked her elbow brought her hand to her mouth and repeated the process. With the next barrel load of smoke, she held it buried in her chest for a few moments and felt her head begin to spin thanks to the larger amount of nicotine osmosing through her lungs and pouring into her blood steam. The rush was impressive. Rachel exhaled a seemingly endless cone of smoke towards her mirrored image that ended up hiding her from the view.

Rachel really wanted to stay there and watch herself smoke, but with the large rush of nicotine floating around her body, her legs felt weak. She also acknowledged that the ash was growing. School girl error she forgot the ashtray. She walked back sofa, quickly gulped her wine, manicured the cigarette.

Then sat down. It was a good thing that she tried smoking those Pall Malls she thought, because to be able to smoke them in a scene she needed to get used to their stronger smoke. But She had to thank Grant for continuing her smoking educational aspect that he had insisted that she try them. She believed instead that what fascinated him was the glamour and classic star aura that she had seen in the mirror. She felt incredibly turned on and excited.

The wine seemed to help her calm down and sitting on the sofa she could not fall anywhere, so she took another cheek-hollowing drag. Rachel was now appreciating with each cigarette how easy it was to draw smoke into her waiting lungs. She inhaled deeply and felt another tobacco speck on the tip of her tongue, which after exhaling. With a chuckle to herself, she picked with her finger trying to replicate the mannerisms she knew from the movies. She knew already that she now actually enjoyed smoking but having used the matches to light the unfiltered Pall Mall was making her really immerse in the role of Marie, she felt really like being in the mid-1940s. The cigarette provided her a much stronger connection with the era, the atmosphere, and the character than ever before.

Alternating gulps of wine which cleaned her throat with more moderate and spaced out drags that spun her head, Rachel eventually finished the Pall Mall and stubbed it in the ashtray. She felt in her throat the effects of the strong unfiltered smoke that had scratched all the way down as it moved in and out of her lungs and she was lightheaded as if she had just recently started smoking again as the stronger nicotine worked its way around her body, pinging off her endorphins.

However, overall, she was delighted about the experience, especially because smoking it had pulled her so clearly into her character. The whole thing about acting is character. She needed to be in character. As Smoking in general was a very time-correct detail for her audition, but smoking an unfiltered cigarette seemed to perfect her interpretation of the period in every aspect.

She was extremely proud of herself as she headed off the bed that night. Even if she did spend an extra couple of minutes brushing her teeth and gargling the mouthwash. She knew annoyingly the rather strange smoke taste would probably still repeat on her later.

However, Rachel fell asleep content.

What disappointed her was the following day Grant dropped around a whole weeks' worth of Virginia Slims. She should have been ecstatic that he had bought her 7 packs...she would not have to worry about her consumption. There were plenty of cigarettes to enjoy. She was not concerned that he knew how much she was smoking. The biggest problem was he had to go away for work for a whole week.

She it was a double-edged sword. It gave her focus. She knew it was going to be a long week. It was going to be harder as the sessions at the acting academy were getting more intense. That meant it was going to be more stressful. However, she knew that emotionally it was going to be even tougher without seeing Grant. Someone to talk to frankly. As she held the plastic carrier bag, there was positive. At least she had cigarettes!

Now part of her evening mission to unwind, settling down and reading yet more lines, Rachel took the opportunity to smoke at least one of the Pall Malls a day. If she felt like she needed it, she smoked a second one too. However, they were always in front of the mirror, the bed side light on back lighting the smoke in the mirror perfectly. She had one aim, the goal of really perfecting her 1940s smoking style. For her own entertainment often deciding which scene from a movie she wanted to replicate and then trying to mimic and recreate the mannerisms and gestures of the female lead, all while getting as much smoke in her lungs as possible.

As Grant was away it was it was easy for Rachel keep it a secret and didn't mention anything to Grant in their frequent texts and plenty of WhatsApp pictures of her sitting on the sofa smoking her Virginia Slims. She had taken a couple of selfies of her smoking in her prettiest underwear in front of the mirror. After a couple of glasses of wine, she really had contemplated sending those too. She thought she looked foxy. Even if the light blue bra and dark purple silk kickers did not match. She felt good and thought she looked incredibly sexy. However, she then decided against it.

She had also now dedicated to only using matches to light her cigarettes and then doing some of the sexiest smoking tricks that she could.

In a hotel room alone staring at the generic picture of fields and wheat on the wall, hundreds of miles away Grant was dying to know what had happened with the pack of filterless cigarettes he had given her, but never dared asking over text, just waiting impatiently that sooner or later Rachel would let him know what was going on. If anything.

Act 2 Scene 5

"If you are looking for something, don't go sit on the seashore and expect it to come and find you; you must search, search, search with all the stubbornness in you!"

The following Wednesday evening. After smoking half of the pack of Pall Malls, Rachel felt rehearsed. She now felt now comfortable with the smoke in her lungs and with the cigarette between her fingers. Having spent the week watching herself in the mirror night after night. In her opinion she was now performing the best filterless cigarette smoking show in town, and now it was all just for one special audience member- Grant.

He now sat on the sofa slightly nervous as it had been a week since they had met up. She smiled sweetly as she handed him a cold beer. She felt his eyes on her as she turned around and sat down. His face was a picture when her hand stretched behind the big fluffy cushion as she slowly and teasingly revealed that she was pulling from its hiding place the clearly open and now almost empty pack of Pall Malls. Without saying a word, tapped the cigarette three times on the coffee table, placed it between her recently applied red lipstick covered lips. Then picked up and expertly struck the match and in the dim light of the living room lit the cigarette doing a perfect imitation of all of Lauren Bacall's actions.

He literally couldn't believe his eyes. They jumped out his eye sockets as much as his cock jumped in his trousers. He couldn't control his emotions and couldn't do anything. His jaw literally dropped as the thick cloud of exhaled smoke billowed across the room.

After repeating the inhaled four times in silence as Grant watched on. Rachel then went on and explained what had happened since last weekend and how she believed that it helped her with character development for the part she wanted to play. Grant listened in silence, nodding from time to time.

"That was unbelievable, Rachel. You looked exactly like Lauren when you lit up. Amazing!" he stuttered trying his best to fill her with compliments. She was stunning. He sat there and watched in ore as inhaled deeply with each and every drag. once she crushed the cigarette out the thick smoke still drifting out her cute nostrils.

She grinned and shrugged her shoulders as if to say, 'it was nothing'. Except a week of practice, broken matches, and several snap inhales. Not to mention stress of trying to get it perfect.

He could not imagine that this amazing young woman could be even more exciting and attracting than she was, but after having seen what he just saw he was in disbelief. She was everything he could ever dream of, and then so much more. Grant had for many years mourned his ex-wife for years and he was convinced now that she would have wanted him to be happy. Looking longingly at Rachel, he was convinced that she would make him unbelievably happy.

He just needed to get her, and he couldn't wait any longer because to keep on spending time with her during their smoking sessions and keeping his hands off her and maintaining a straight face was an impossible torture. He was struggling to play her with a straight bat. She kept bowling smoke filled googlies.

"Rachel, you know what, for a long time now I've been thinking about something..." he hesitantly said hating himself for behaving as shy and insecure as if he was a teenage boy.

Rachel grinned her pretty face with her twinkling eyes wonderful eyes as her smoke drifted around the room. She confidently stared back, practically inviting him to continue. "Yes Grant?" She purred.

"Err, I have been thinking..." he chuckled "...a lot whilst I was away..."

"Oh?" Rachel smiled sweetly.

"Why don't we change the setting of our 'lesson' next time?"

Her shoulders sank a little. He could have step forward and leaned in for a kiss there and then. But he did not. "Oh, what do you have in mind, your place again?" She replied looking at Grant as she was leaning forward to pick up her regular pack of Virginia Slims, pulling a fresh filter out and wedging it between her fingers.

"Not quite. I've been thinking, you do a great job of cooking for both of us, but let's give us both a night off...let's go out to a restaurant instead...?" he suggested as his heart was beating madly as he saw her body become more tense. The totally unexpected but since long awaited proposal surprised Rachel and he saw her puzzled expression.

She smiled "Grant Martins, are you asking me out on date?" Rachel heard her voice say the words before she could shut her mouth. Instead, she quickly placed the cigarette between her lips and leaned forward to pick up the matches.

He panicked. It was impossible to determine what the response was meant to be. The actor in her was hiding her true emotions. Was she surprised and happy or stunned and disapproving? He tried to downplay his proposal, explaining himself with the first thing that came to his mind.

"Well...maybe...not...kind of...like you could do some, err, practice smoking alfresco as we dine at a restaurant, all dressed up and in a different ambience...it could be fun. I mean good for us, I mean, you?"

A smile crept across Rachel's face as she nodded before sternly focusing once again as she flicked the match and brought the flame to her cigarette. As she pulled hard twice to get it alight, before forcing the exhale across the match, the CO₂ contained putting the flame straight out.

"Grant, I think that sounds like a marvelous idea!" She replied sincerely with her exhale continuing twisting and swirling as her tongue moved. Her face then winced, "But err, well, unfortunately, well, this weekend I am really busy with both work asking me for extra shifts and the acting course ramping up. I'm so sorry." She pulled an exaggerated frown before putting the filter back between her lips.

Like a seesaw her body rose as she pulled the smoke into her lungs whilst she watched his body sink slightly deeper into the sofa as if gravity had momentarily doubled its attraction force. She exhaled out the corner of her lips.

"But, I think, how about we go out next Friday or Saturday night? I'm definitely free then!" she suggested warmly and prayed he would say yes. She wanted to go out with Grant more than anything in the world, she was not entirely convinced that her nipples might have been giving the game away. It was just unfortunate timing that he had picked the one time she was actually rather stressed and extremely busy.

"Absolutely! I, I mean we, yes, of course I can wait till next week. How about Friday night?" Grant confirmed, lifted by her glad response and suggestion.

Rachel pulled on the cigarette once more. "Excellent!" she stated with her exhale, the smoke twisting and twirling as she spoke as she watched Grant grinning like a Cheshire cat.

Act 3 Scene 1

"You can kill the King without a sword, and you can light the fire without a match. What needs to burn is your imagination."

Grant was however crestfallen. He had spent all week alone plotting and scheming building himself up. But now they had to wait till the next weekend to properly go out with Rachel. He convinced himself the whole time that he was away it would happen. They both had separate lives. She had an extremely busy social life. He understood that. On Monday had to work late so it was not until the following Tuesday night that they finally got together again.

Rachel was happy, payday had been and gone and with some cash left over from the credit card payment and eating only a cereal and pasta for practically a whole month. She always hated January. She wanted to pay him back for the cigarettes he had bought for her. Gentlemanly, he tried to refuse.

"Please, Rachel, it's not necessary. It's no big deal. I know you're on a tight budget, the money is nothing to me, so please keep it. Treat yourself. You really don't have to pay me back!"

"But Grant, that was the deal. I don't want to take advantage of your kindness. Please, can't you just take it?" she begged, but he wouldn't budge.

"Okay, then how about this. You take the money and use it to buy more for me. I will run out tomorrow. Would that work?" she finally suggested. She thought the money was more than enough for a few packs so she could later refuse to take the change back and he would be at least partially refunded. Moreover, she still felt weird about buying filterless cigarettes on her own, so having Grant buying them for her was solving another issue too.

Not wanting to hang too long on the negative discussion, Grant accepted. Rachel expected him to get few packs of each brand, but he returned on the Wednesday evening with two full cartons, one of each. Naturally, the money she had given him was nowhere near enough for that, but she realized it was probably useless to point that out. With a complacent smirk on his face, he delivered the purchase, glad to have ensured that the apple of his eye and importantly the stress of not having cigarettes was changed to having too many. But at least he enabled her to indulge in the almost continuous pleasure of serving her now ever-present nicotine cravings.

Rachel ensured that she smoked as the evening progressed. Grant was probing how the acting classes were going, and if he could watch her in anything. Could he read in her lines or something useful. She would bashfully decline to be watched.

Rachel also now woke up in the mornings, with a different sensation. She was now rather used to feel in her lungs of the noticeable weight, of what she assumed, was fresh tar and left-over smoke particulates. Lying there in bed they had settled in her chest. Rachel was clever enough to know it was all down to the result of enjoying her twenty cigarettes from the day before. She also knew she had something to look forward to this different feeling. She now knew that sitting at the breakfast counter she always felt much better soon after bathing her lungs with more nicotine-rich, tar laden, unfiltered smoke. She was so pleased that Grant had offered her this pack.

The excitement of sitting there knowing the pleasure was soon achieved and that she would feel instantly rewarded as the hot lit match hit the tip of the cigarette. She now believed she was taking good care of her body. Listening to it. Keeping it happy as strong cravings for more smoke came at her like waves crashing against the shore. She could see them coming, building larger and larger the closer they got. Then they hit her. She had to smoke.