Keep Your Demons Fed Ch. 05

I know I told him packing wouldn't take too long. But really, he should have known better. You never really realize how much stuff you've acquired until you have to move it all, and we both knew I wouldn't be coming back. Expecting a reprimand any minute now I smiled to myself, thinking about how cute he'd be telling me off in an unsure and exasperated manner. Part of me wanted to see him try. I could hear him pacing around in the lounge downstairs. He'd already been to town and sent some messages, as well as some other errands he hadn't bothered to really cue me in on. He'd been surprised when he got back that I wasn't ready, and that was a couple of hours ago. But I needed something, and it wasn't availing itself to me just yet. Certain I knew where to find it, I kept digging through this old storage closet.

I was looking for my old travelling bag. I hadn't seen it since my traveling days with my Master. For the first year or so of my apprenticeship he took me with him everywhere. That was probably the best year of my life, if I think about it. I don't know what happened, one morning I woke up with a message from the inn keeper of that night's tavern. I was to leave for the Tower and await his return. I've barely seen him since. After the nasty business of being sold into this apprenticeship I would have thought my abandonment issues had come to a head, but no such luck. I still felt pained from it, from my parents, from my Master, and I knew the same would happen with Kal. Sooner or later, he'd leave too. Before Eish had become a part of me that knowledge would have crippled me. I wouldn't be leaving, destined to find out just when that bottom would drop out. I'd be staying here, where I already knew where it was.

I still felt a pain knowing the inevitable would come to pass. But it wasn't stopping me from going. Not this time. It was more of an observance as I acknowledged it, and let it pass, resuming my search for that damned bag.

"Neva, perhaps ya could use a different bag? I can go get ya one right now," he called from down the hallway. I heard him mumble something about that being the faster route, but I ignored it. I was finally finding things that looked familiar.

"No, no. It has to be this bag. It's here, I can feel it. Just give me another minute."

"I gave ya another minute an hour ago, my dear," he said as he walked down the hall towards me. "If it's such a special bag, how'd ya lose track of the blasted thing?"

"I don't know! I used to use it, and then I was...I didn't need it, so I put it in this closet and it gradually got moved around as I needed to pull this or that out of here. You know how it goes."

"I don't actually. I've never stayed in one place long enough ta misplace anythin' like this."

"I didn't misplace it, I just...AH!" I excitedly jumped out of the closet, remembering where I'd put it last. I ran to the stairs that led up to my Master's chambers. There was another closet down here that I rarely used. I threw open the door and was taken aback at how strongly it smelled of him. I hadn't seen him in so long I'd almost forgotten. He smelled of an ancient forest and the same scent here brought back waves of memories. It was one of the few scents that still smelled like home for me. I hesitated a moment before entering the room. It was well organized, I didn't use it much, and sure enough, there sat my bag on the highest shelf.

"Kal, can you grab it down for me?" He wasn't far behind me, but he gave me my space until I asked for him. "It's the green velvet one up there, with the paisley patterning."

"Ya need ta get used ta yer new height, my dear. Ya could have reached it, had ya tried. Not that I mind helping ya out in any way." My body still didn't quite feel like my own, and I did forget that it wasn't the same.

"Oh, sorry," I mumbled as he handed me the bag. He held tight to the leather handles, forcing me to look at him.

"Never mind it. Ya do genuinely need ta get used ta who ya are now, that's all. I know this is a lot, believe me, I do. Jus' know that I'm here fer ya, whatever ya need."

My eyes darted over to his lock of white hair that still remained, as my mind raced back to what I'd done to cause it. I must have lingered too long. Before I knew what was happening he kissed my cheek and let go of my bag. He took a step back and cocked his head slightly, watching, waiting for me to make the next move. I wanted to kiss him. I wanted to hold him and have him hold me and I wanted us to lose ourselves in one another. I wanted to make love and feel loved and fuck and be fucked. But I couldn't.

Instead, I half smiled and headed to my room. The sound of soft footsteps followed me. I plopped my bag down on my bed and unlatched the top, leaving it wide open. I started with my clothes and after a pile or two Kal came to darken my doorway. "I don't see why ya had ta find this bag. It doesn't look like it would hold yer clothes for a day, let alone for..." I smiled at him as he watched me shove a quilt into the bag without so much as pursing its seams.

I tried my best to keep a straight face as I put an armload of books into this bag that was maybe a foot and half long and a foot tall. I skirted by him to go to my workroom, bag practically weightless in hand. "Ay, I see. My Neva has tricks. Clever girl."

"Clever nothing. It was useful when my Master gave it to me years ago and that's the only reason I have it." I shrugged as I debated whether or not to take the emergency supply of potions and salves that had been left for me. They'd do no one any good sitting in a locked-up tower. I grabbed them and carefully laid them in my enchanted bag.

I'd already alerted the town council. They knew they were losing their witch, but they hadn't exactly relied on me, and the farewells weren't overly cold, nor warm. While this had been one of the closest things to a home for me, it had never really felt as though I belonged here. I had a handful of regulars that I'd alerted earlier as well. They'd be stopping in this afternoon to get enough of what they needed to last them a few months. By first light tomorrow we'd be gone. It felt surreal and somehow bittersweet, and I didn't dare trust any of it. I knew I had Eish with me, but I missed that damned cat something awful.

I spent the rest of the afternoon trimming back my gardens while Kal boarded up the tower. We'd put a time freeze spell on the tower itself when we left, nothing my Master couldn't undo when he returned, and I wanted the place in good working order. I had no idea when he would return, but I didn't want to have created another bother for him. It didn't matter. He'd rid himself of me as soon as he had cause. Being imbued with a demon would be more than enough. It could be seen as downright hazardous to keep me on as an apprentice, given his abilities, and given mine. If nothing else, it was dishonorable, and he could be done with me if he so wished. And I couldn't imagine that he didn't wish such a thing.

I needed this all to be over and done. And I needed to stop thinking about him.

My last regular stopped by, Gabriella. I was surprised to see her, I was expecting one of her associates or assistants. Her business had done quite well since she employed my skills and I hardly ever saw her since. She was the only one around that actually appeared sad to see me go. I made sure she had enough of my particular concoction to last nearly nine months, ample time to find herself a new supplier. I even gave her my recipe. I wouldn't be needing it anymore. She'd been surprised to see me, the new me, and didn't really know how to react. She kept ogling me, sizing me up. I suppose I would make a decent model for her shop now, but I had places to go. Her staring was starting to get to the point of unprofessional, but I didn't much mind. My breasts were considerably larger and stretched my once loose blouse a bit awkwardly, I'd grown a few inches taller as well, so my skirts were a bit shorter. I didn't mind any of this, but I would need to mend a few things along the way. I knew the harbor city would have some reasonably priced shops and hopefully I could buy what I couldn't mend and make myself presentable. We said our farewells and she actually hugged me, taking me a bit by surprise. I hadn't seen much of her in the past few months, but before that she was the closest I'd come to having a friend in a long time.

I contemplated what I'd missed out on in this life as I made us a small dinner. We ate mostly in silence, neither one of us seemed too talkative. I wanted to ask where we'd be going first, but it didn't seem to matter. He knew the way, and that was good enough for me. I should have been excited and nervous, but instead I felt as though there was this weight around my neck. I tried to brush it off as we cleaned up together. He was so close at times that I could feel the heat from his body. I was desperate to feel something, and I wanted him, and I knew he wanted me. But how could I?!

A knock so quiet I wasn't sure if I imagined it or not came from the front. I went to see if there were any stragglers needing my assistance with Kal close behind, as always. I could sense his tension, but he should know to not worry. The barrier was still active. More than likely it was just someone that had to work up the nerve to ask for some blessing or potion before I left. I'd dealt with plenty of sensitive requests and no longer felt an awkwardness around them. But that never seemed to calm my customers.

I opened the door and wasn't terribly surprised to find nothing but the black of night. I backed away to close the door when Kal held it open. "Looks like someone left ya a parting gift." He nodded towards a rather large dark package off to the side. I picked it up and stepped back inside as Kal closed and locked the door.

We stepped back into the lounge and I took a seat on one of the overly plush couches, package in hand. "I don't know who would gift me, well, anything really." I looked up at him as he towered over me, his arms crossed in front of him. He was eyeing the package suspiciously. It was a gray paper package with black twine holding it together and tied off in a small bow.

I pulled on the bow, letting the twine fall away as I moved the paper back. I caught a flash of what was inside and covered it again quickly. "Neva? What's wrong?!" he asked nervously.

"It's...nothing. It's from one of my regulars that had been in here earlier, Gabriella. I could feel my face heating up. He cocked his head at me, confused for a moment. "Here," I mumbled as I handed him the package, unable to watch his reaction.

I heard him ruffle the paper and then a breathy, "oh," escaped from his lips. Looking up at him I saw a sly grin form as his eyes sparkled. "I think ya should try one on before we go. Traveling in the woods, it'll be a bit before ya get another chance ta see yerself in anything like it."

I nodded silently as I bit my lip, still unable to look at him. I stood and took the package from him, excusing myself to my room.

Gabriella had sent me a handful of lingerie sets that would actually fit my new body. She had an eye for this sort of thing. The one in particular that caught my eye was a black set with just a hint of the darkest red. The top was a balconette, my favorite style. But that had been my favorite because it made my breasts look a bit larger than they were. Now it just looked slightly obscene with how large my breasts actually were now, not to mention them popping up in your face. Still, I had to admit I did love how my breasts curved with it. The panties were a kind of cheeky boyshort and the bottom of my ass peeked out of them. It looked salacious with my new hourglass figure, and I wasn't surprised to see my face flush yet again.

I thought about showing Kal. Well, to be honest, I thought about Kal ripping this off of me and fucking me and filling me--Gods be damned, Neva you have to stop! I was scolding myself but I suppose I should be yelling at Eish. I could see my eyes turning to a blood red and I started to worry about Eish taking control again. 'Eish, no. We can't take from him again. It's not okay!'

I was lecturing Eish when Kal called to me from the other room. I quickly pulled my blouse and skirt back on over my new pretties, happier now with how my blouse fit, and went out to find him sitting, albeit a bit anxiously, in one of the chairs. "Is everything okay?" I asked him innocently.

"I was just," he cleared his throat tensely, "wonderin' if you were going ta show me how it fits?"

"Oh..." I knew what he wanted, but he shouldn't. And he knew that too. "They fit like a glove," I cooed innocently as I sat down across from him.

"Show me." His command came out as a bit of a growl, and I could feel myself getting wet. I was aware of the heat from his eyes on me but still I stood my ground.

"Kal, you know that isn't a good idea."

"You need energy fer tomorrow. And I'll be fine."

"So what? Am I supposed to just use you like that? Is that all this, all that I am to you?" I may be a bit more sensitive around all of this than I had realized...

"Neva, I want you ta be safe. That means the demon inside of you that has been tasked, willingly this time mind ya, ta save you, needs ta be fed. You know I enjoy your body, I did before and I do now, and I know you enjoy mine as well. All the same, is that all I am ta you?!"

"Of course not!"

"Then do us both a kindness and don't ask such foolish questions again."

I opened my mouth a few times trying to find the words, trying to rebuke him for calling me foolish, but I couldn't. He was right after all. I suppose I just needed to hear it.

After careful consideration I stood abruptly. I suppose he thought I was going to leave in a huff. "Neva, look..." His words trailed off as I pulled my blouse off over my head, my curls falling back down around my shoulders. I slid the skirt down before looking back at him. "Like a glove," I purred as I watched his jaw drop ever so slightly.

He was still sitting in one of the room's more prominent chairs. A rainbow of silks hung above him as they draped down over heavy wooden beams. I knew his eyes had run up and down my body a dozen times until they eventually met my gaze and locked in on my eyes. Eyes that I had to hope against hope were still my own blue. I walked over to him and he tried to stand. Pushing him back down I straddled him as I sat in his lap. His lips were too tempting, but I needed to lay down the only ground rule that mattered first. "One and done, yes? Kal, I need you to promise me. If I take too much from you. If I cost you too much...I couldn't live with myself, with that pain, with that--"

"I understand. And I'll agree to yer wish. But ya need ta be open ta us findin' something that works." I nodded subtly before I came crashing down to him. His lips felt like a fire my frozen body craved. His hands slid up my back as he carefully undid the clasp. Part of me was relieved he hadn't destroyed it. Part of me missed the thrill of him doing so.

My breasts freed I pressed myself against him. He had on a rather rough tunic that rubbed me, and my taut nipples, the wrong way, literally. I broke our kiss of fire and passion to pull his shirt off of him. I came crashing back to him, needing to feel him against me, on me, in me... His hands were on my ass, a finger occasionally sliding under the material to swipe at my throbbing pussy for a bittersweet second. Every time he managed to do so a whole-body shiver would cascade through my body as he'd let out this deep growl that took my breath away.

I needed him now with a hunger that told me without a doubt that my eyes were no longer my own. I could feel how hard and ready for me he was as he pressed himself up against me as he pulled me down. I could feel my pussy throbbing, pulsating, needing.

And I knew I had to stop now. I knew I wouldn't be able to stop once we really got going.

It came out as a whisper at first. "Kal, stop." His kisses continued all over my body as his hands continued caressing every bit of me they could reach. I froze as best I could as he continued to move me. A little louder, "stop." I needed to convince myself as well as him that we needed to. That we couldn't keep going like this.

He paused for a moment, his lips frozen just above the crook of my neck as he held onto me with a desperate passion. "Neva?"

I moved to stand up but he wouldn't let me go. I yelled it this time, "STOP!" in a voice that wasn't completely my own and he obeyed. I didn't say anything else. I didn't know what to say. Before Eish I would have apologized all over myself, given him a dozen reasons why we couldn't, shouldn't. But not now. Now he knew why I'd stopped, and I knew it was for the best. I knew he didn't agree with it, but what was he going to do? I knew he wouldn't hurt me. It never even crossed my mind as a possibility with him. Still, I knew how frustrated he must be. I imagine at least as much as I was. I wondered if he'd still be here in the morning or if I'd brought our downfall upon us before we even got started. Worrying about it wasn't going to do me any good, not that that mattered.

Sleep did not come quickly that evening. I would have liked to have taken care of my frustrations, but I felt it unfair and let myself suffer the agitations of dissatisfaction. That was certainly one reason I couldn't fall asleep. Another was the realization that this was, one way or another, to be my last night in the Tower. Even if Kal was gone, I needed to get to the grand council. My Master wouldn't have me after all this, and it would be wrong of me to keep it from him. I was an abomination. Any powers I now had were not my own, and to continue learning, practicing, the gods would not look favorably upon me, or anyone involved. I wasn't really sure if that mattered to me, but I wasn't going to be able to figure out just then.

When I did manage to fall asleep Eish refused to speak to me. I still saw her in my dreams. In the land between where I was still completely me, and she was completely her. I couldn't make her look at me. Of course I couldn't. I couldn't make her do anything she didn't want to. She'd saved my life and I was starving her. Kal had been right about one thing, I'd need to find a way to make all of this work, one way or another.