by ScarfaceJ
What a great little story with no wasted space or wasted dialogue . You told it very well and got straight to the "meat" of things . Please continue .
Real good. You still have the chance to tell what happens when they are sober. Develope the tension - is she a bitch to him after this, making him just TAKE her?
Go ahead and keep this story going.
if the stepfather disliked him so much that he had to move it is very unlikely he would have been invited to go on the trip in the first place try to keep your stories sounding realistic
Forget the petty comment by the previous reader. This is a nice little story--good pornography--and I hope you will be back with more. Don't let this be your one and only contribution to our reading pleasure.
ever wonder why there are so many kiss ass comments on so-so stories lets start giving honest opinions so the writers will improve instead of continuing the same unrealistic mish mash this site is going down hill fast we need to save it with good stories not kill it with unbelievable stories
Don't listen to Mr "Kiss Ass" he has been trolling other good stories with the same comments.
we NEED good stories by GOOD writers not unbelievable garbage by hacks. stop paying for rave reviews and listen to the bad comments so you will improve instead of further ruining this site with garbage.
i agree with the bad comments they seem like the only HONEST ones. no way he would have been asked to go if the step dad hated him so much. it seems obvious that his mom had no say in the marriage or he wouldn't have had to leave. totally unrealistic and just plain STUPID. don't give up your day job you will never make it as a writer only the underage wankers enjoy this type of unrealistic garbage.
WOW!!! All the idiots comments about a fictional story, Maybe just read and enjoy the story. Read it for what it is, not with a judgemental attitude.
Good one I thought.