All Comments on 'Kevin's Special Delivery'

Fun story, liked her narrative better but I think you needed both to make it complete

POV changes are death to readability. Write third person if you want to expose the reader to other thoughts than those of a single character.

You are a fanatic writer and I’m looking forward to reading many more of your fantastic stories please post more on here as soon as possible I can’t believe your story is so good for a first posting on this site have you been writing for other sites ?

Very well written. I like the way Lois tells her part of the adventure.

Great start - hope there’s more!

I enjoyed the story from both sides and you matched them well. Your 2 characters have a long exciting journey ahead of them and I hope you share it with us

CINCO ESTRELLAS!

This story was excellent! I can’t wait for more entries! Love the details.

Very nice storry. REally hot!

Wonderful story-telling, with great characters. However, the story seems to work best from the perspective of Lois rather than Kevin. Five stars.