All Comments on 'Killing Me Softly Pt. 01'

I'll hold off the vote until I see if you actually post part 2 this time. You submitted part 1 twice on the last post.

Is it February already?

This is a joke isn't it.

The original story was also implausible, not because she walked away from her husband BUT that she effectively walked out on all her life dreams and efforts. That was a business woman receiving accolades for her business successes. No-one is going to shame themselves in that situation,

This is a variation of February Sucks. In all of these the woman are oublicly shaming themselves. Never going to happen.

I know you get all excited by the coming macho response, but the setup is really a joke.

well i got lost somewhere i thought he hang himself in the basement.

Nice

I remember the original faintly. If i figure it out I'll let you know. I've read a lot of tales on this site and I'll give it a good search. This was well written. Please continue...

Listen retard. Maybe your line of bullshit works inside that pea brain of yours; but this idiotic story made zero goddamn sense.

Why would she cheat on her husband? Why would she give away her ring? Why would a judge grant a restraining order? Why did everyone know about the lothario but no one had the courage to tell this moron about him. If she made more money than hubby, why was her BMW in his name?

Again, you didn’t like the ending, fine; but don’t rearrange the entire laws of sociology just to fit your “Burn the Cunt” narrative line your sins avenging Muslim who needs to kill his wife in order to regain his honour.

Go fuck yourself.

What a bitch + lover. Burn them I say. Story is good ,keep it up. AA++

Nice. I remember that story and this is much better already.

A wife that publicly humiliates her husband like that deserves an extreme BtB. In the original, the husband and wife ended up as friends, which was completely ridiculous. No man would ever forgive his wife for so cruelly breaking his heart and destroying a 25 year marriage.

I hope the asshole that seduced her gets some fitting payback too.

I think the story you are talking about is "Conversations" by Tnicoll

The worst thing a third rate writer can do to make an uninteresting story worthless is to break a small story into even smaller parts...

If going by this crap writers previous story is anything to go by...we can expect this story too to drag for about half a year...one page every one month! Better stop reading now and save oneself future pain!

Not bad im guessing he the husband won't take the wife back. Looking forward to her explanation although as with other stories like this it is very hard to justify anyone doing this. Thanks for writing 👍

Very, very little in the way of coherent explanation of this mystical instant-orgasm idiot. Really doesn't make a damn bit of sense.

"Don't do anything. My wife is under his spell, and his goons are watching you." Was that supposed to be "Your wife..." ?? Not believable.

You NEED to EDIT!!!!

"Boy, I guess I'm a lucky guy." Stats when iI notice her right hand had no rings on it.

Stats when il?

So may glaring errors, you clearly never bothered to edit. I'll know to never read anything by you again.

Sorry, I just can't get excited about stories about the mentally ill wives of the world.

I suspect the story you are referring to is February sucks by GeorgeAnderson that has been re written to death.

Yours is OK, but near the end it flips between I and He which is confusing and there are spelling mistakes.

Will read to see how it goes.

5⭐

very good start to the story.

a bit short. shame to write it in chapter.

Its funny when she cheats, she entitled to some extra dick. When he cheats regardless the reason, he's a dog.

Looking forward to the chapter(s.)

This is an above average story so far. Nonetheless, you need notable help with editing. I look forward to part two.

___Anon8675309

Restraining Orders; you're doing them wrong. You can't get one for hurt feelings or lock your spouse out of the family home, no matter who she fucks.

a good start ,, looking forward to more

That was good.

She felt she's entitled. Really?!

Well, she's entitled also to the consequences her husband dished out.

As they say, "play a stupid game, win a stupid prize."

Damn, I did not notice the very obvious "Part 1" Damn, damn, damn!!! Looking forward to finally having Dickward have brimstone(whatever) rained down on him. I hope it is violent, painful disturbing and life altering in a horrible manner. So far so good.

Sounds way too much liked ‘February Sucks’

Wonderful , can't wait for the next chapter.

Well, so far all you have done is repeat the original story. There didn't appear to be anything new other than a more detailed plan for "getting back at her and the arsehole. (From what I remembered of it) Is part two where you give your ending?

CONVERSATIONS by TNicoll

https://www.literotica.com/s/conversations-20

I liked your version also

Ugh. Rushed. Errors all over the place. You switch from first person to third person perspective. Spelling is horrible.

Conversations by TNICOLL

I'll wait for part 2 to rate this one. I do remember the original but, like you, can't recall the author. If I remember correctly, your version is moving a little quicker than the original. I would say "slow down" and let us enjoy the ride.

I believe the story you are looking for is Conversations by Tnicoll. It was a compelling story that you carried with you for a long time after reading (probably why you were driven to write a new ending). I just happened to reread it recently and found it in my history for you.

Uber is not like the traditional taxi services. You do not make a phone call to request a ride with them.

Uber is an app on the phone, when you request a ride using the app the first information you type in is where you want to go. The app then confirms your current location on a map gives pricing options.

When a car comes some will confirm your identity . I have had some drivers that confirmed my destination once I was in the car as part of their small talk while others just follow the navigation from the Uber driver app.

I seem to remember the story. Couple problems like with the first story. Goons to fend him off from getting violent? At a gala event. All he'd have to do was yell real loud to get everybody 's attention and embarrass the predator to death. Especially if Lana played along. but still 4 stars for the first. bit hope you keep up the steam.

Respectfully, this theme is becoming worn. Additionally, use a proofreader before posting. You misspelled the last name of the antagonist several times, confused the voice of the character (speaker) several times. The story comes off as rushed, with very little in the way of background to explain the actions or rationale of the main characters.

If you’re not going to post the next installment soon don’t bother posting it!! It is impossible to follow the story line when you take that much time to post! You have ruined many a good story so keep to your day job!!!!!

The switching back and forth between first person and third is disturbing. Could have used a lot more detail.

If only it could go this smoothly, excise a cheating cunt that quickly and cleanly.

How could an obviously intelligent woman expect some bullshit action like this to fly?

I know authors will hate me, but that is why we have comments. So far the story contains nothing new and only essentially cut-and-pastes from prior stories. It includes utter legal stupidities such as husband throwing his wife out of the house (which he cannot do as a wife has equal rights to her home, and how the heck would he have been able to generate a restraining order). There is no such thing as alienation of affection lawsuits. Where are the kids in all this? Most importantly, there is no background as to why the wife would have acted the way she did, and a serial predator with goons at a charity ball is just old tripe that is entirely missing reality. I hope that the author improves part 2 with some background and something new, and not just retreaded BTB endings.

never entitle a woman. women crave the chase more than men. but unlike men that love variety in their chase, women are always after the shiny golden god of perfection. be it money, status, sex....whatever. they only want the best, or the best they think they can get.

if you are a woman's man.....it doesn't hurt to make her earn things....to chase you. just giving a woman things is like spoiling a child. they turn ungrateful very quickly. hell, it applies to same sex couples too. make your woman earn you. only give her things, 'just because', sparingly.

this whole women shaming someone's ego or 'my body, my decision'...are just cruel manipulation tactics. a relationship is about compromises and exclusivity, unless both parties consent. ego is self worth. you should NEVER abuse that concept to manipulate a spouse. always try to uplift your partner's self worth...within reason.

Nice start! I hope that the seducer is destroyed to nothing and that his wife realizes the cruelty and humiliation that she put on her husband. I hope she sees what she threw away for a selfish, adulterous weekend. Looking forward to Part 2! Please post soon!

This little tome was only two pages and you needed to split it into multiple segments?

I'm sorry but this is terrible. No build-up to her cheating, then he lets some stranger tell him what to do. I understand the author wants to be a tough guy here but you still have to make it somewhat believable. In the first place, who cares if some thugs are watching him? They are at a party. What are they going to do, beat him up in front of all those witnesses? If the guy was such a tough guy, his response when the woman told him they were watching would have been, "I don't care," and he would have gone over and interrupted his wife and the predator. To be honest, I didn't finish reading this so I won't score it, but if I did, I'd have to give it a 2.

But honey "IT" meant nothing. It was only sex. I came home to you. Where he screwed up was to not try to go through the door. Forced their hand. Make sure all her friends and children get their day in court.

Very Good. Don't make me wait to long, Please

Very good, and close to the original. Hopefully He destroys both her and the a-hole, and also embarrasses the charity for allowing it to happen. Will he get together with the other women - maybe, but he does deserve a better woman. His soon-to-be ex-wife has her high paying job, but soon she will discover the will lose family and friends and the reality of her situation will hit her. As to the a-hole, he may have goons but they can be dealt with. I personally am in favor of a-hole being kidnapped to an remote tiny wood cabin, his penis put into a vise, one arm broken, and then as the cabin is set on fire he is given a plastic picnic knife - if he wants to live he has to cut off his own penis, and of course he may die from blood loss. Being rich isn't going to help with that.

Tnicoll - Conversations 11/18/2020.

Good start. I'm looking forward to seeing where this goes. Never argue with someone who buys ink by the barrel

"Spell check" and "proof reading" are your friends. Have them over before you post the next part.

I think you were looking at "Conversations" by 'Tnicoll'.

.

It was a disturbing read, because all MC really had to do was beat the m'fer into the carpet and plead his case before a jury of his peers. Especially since the Villain was known to do this but was tolerated due to his philanthropy. Imagine the witnesses, the discovery phase of that trial! Yes, this situation embodies the notion, "It's better to die on your feet than live on your knees"!

.

Yeah, I know the bodyguards were close, but when the wife and Woodson appeared for 'the talk', a quick throat punch or eye gouge couldn't be stopped by the greatest bodyguard in the world.

Very good. I hope you have already written part 2. 5 stars.

anticipating your twist on this story

Too damn short. Seriously!? barely over one page and you had to break it up?

i like where it's headed

No chapter two necessary. Beautiful as it is.

Legio,

I like the way you think.

Nice start, waiting to see what's next.

and Legio had it right -- get within 2 meters of someone and no BG short of the Terminator is fast enough to protect you from at least a couple of hits.

Drive into his groin and there won't be any hanky-panky for a little while at least.

"You need to lose the ego, Michael."

.

Again with the ego. Writer after writer has the wife use that, but few -- if any -- use the obvious retort that everything the wife did was because of her ego.

Very good start -- I'll keep an eye out for part two

To everyone who told me it wa Coverstions, by Tnicoll, thank you. To Tnicoll, I apologize for forgetting. Thank you for the inspiration. To the person who took the time to e-mail me that they didn't like it because it broke so many laws, you ain't seen nothing yet.

The BEAR

Why was my comment censored, it was not derogatory in any form or fashion.

Had to stop about the time of the Princess Di ring.

The wife was turned into the LW template of the so stupid and over the top dumb assed bitch that she would need to be reminded to breath every few minutes.

Again, it gets tiring when authors just have to go too far and try to emotionally manipulate the mouth breathers by throwing in such dumb gems as "We didn't 'fuck'; we made love, and it was beautiful."

Yeah any wife that wanted to keep her marriage is going to say EXACTLY that.

And this...which is aimed the more misogynist of the mouth breathers cuz uppity women makes them so durn angry....

"Why are you doing this?" she blurted out. "It was just sex; I was entitled to it. You don"t own my body." She was getting some of the bluster back. "You need to lose the ego, Michael. We have to get on with our lives."

Im finding you hide your lack of writing skills and depth by those type of statements....dont feel bad many writers do the same thing, otherwise they might not get the testosterone challenged boys riled up enough.

Skip part two unless you can write a story that doesnt need the artificially inflated rage you tried to create here.

And readers liked this? This so full of cliches that are not even remotely realistic that I couldn’t even get through page one.

Terrible writing,no facts that work,who issues a restraining order on science friction, who gives up a personal ring to a unknown fucker. What kind of wife would lose her mind over some dude and muscle men to keep the hubby away. Poor story telling.

theres probably 50 versions of this story so wont be able to track down the one ur talking about. oh i still enjoyed it though

I’m sorry but am I the only one who is having trouble with the fact that the husband really had no knowledge at all of what his wife was going to say to him. He had just heard a story from a total stranger who admitted that the she herself was a slut. The stranger also seemed intent on stopping him from interrupting what she said was an attempt to seduce his wife. For all he knew, his wife was about to ask him to take her home and screw her brains out. Instead he’s yelling at her that she’s a slut and he’s going to destroy her if she doesn’t come home that night and, oh, by the way, he’s taking off with this other woman. WTF! If this is the way he normally treats his wife, no wonder she would want to be with someone else! The best I could give this rubbish is a 2.

Heart's song, Magic Man comes to mind. "Oooh He's got magic hands." Still pretty funny even in the retelling.

That was brutal, but exactly what some people would do. He will hurt in front of other people and in private, but she will never see it and all she will be is an enemy for the rest of their lives. The really sad thing that the beta-male crowd don't get is that some things are unforgivable and once the line is crossed you are an enemy and the amount you were once loved is now the amount you are hated. Love it!!

Good So Far

The premise of the original was the wife was a successful business woman, made more money than her husband and all that. When the young, rich, handsome creep makes a move on her she feels entitled. In that original, the husband comes off much weaker, even though he divorces her, he stays friendly. Not so good. The wife does suffer because for one weekend of sex, she loses her home, her husband, and the respect of her family. I agree with others that the premise is ridiculous, but that’s what it is. The husband in this version is much more heavy handed, which I think is good. Thank you

What's with the Adultery Fiction? The wife described here is not a human being . . ., or the MC has been living with an arrogant stupid selfish soulless Bitch his entire marriage and supposedly this monster whore was just perfect until, Shazam, she's some rich guys slut. Martian Slut Ray = Adultery Fiction, as opposed to Science Fiction. They both include unreal/alternate universe details in order to make the plot work. Could be Orcs, could be Presto-Changeo Wife/Whores.

One of the hallmarks are the actual details of the characters and their behavior. We have more details involving the disposition of the BMW than we have of the nature and character of a wife who would abandon her marriage, her entire family, and her self respect, for a couple of nights of magic cock. Yeah, right. Obviously this story takes place in a Liberal/Leftist state that denies its citizens the right to concealed carry. When your wife starts acting like she's under the influence of drugs or coercion you have a right to question her and seek medical or police assistance. If the body guards want to restrain or block that right you engage them in a gun fight; simple. I mean, what does an innocent decent philanthropist need with body guards at a fund raising gala?

Its fine. You are entirely after one more seminar on how to Burn The Bitch. Who cares how unrealistic the setup is? Hope it goes well for you.

Thanks for the effort.

Started out OK but switching from first to third person at the end was distracting at the least. An editor would really help. Also, this story’s predecessor parallels a recent story with lots of endings. A couple goes to a restaurant/night club with some other couples who are friends. A star football player asks wifey to dance and she leaves with him to fuck (“make love”.— Hah!) all weekend. Continuing story endings by lots of other authors vary from BTB endings to reconciliation endings. Of course, the wife tries the over-used, “It was just sex,” and “I love only you!” Bullshit. I understand there can be parallel ideas as well as stories. Hell, most cheating wives themes have been used in lots of stories and it’s tough to be original with so many out there. Thanks for writing.

Part 2 please

by far the stupidest & laziest story I've seen this week

Appallingly bad grammar. Take an extra 15 minutes to actually read what you wrote. This would get a D in a Freshman English class.

he doing his thing her trying to comprehend the consequences. TK U MLJ LV NV

**** Well worn storyline ,but at least this version is well presented. Looking forward to part 02. Thanks for sharing.

It's Michael not Micheal

Average. Not particularly good or bad, just average,

Did feb. come around again? LOVE. Slap hapy papy #9

Too short. Good grief publish all at once when this short.

Very good. I hope you have already written part 2.

Hopefully the husband gets revenge on the slime ball that it hurts the creep.

Well she’d have to be pretty dilusional or drugged not to be alarmed by hubbys verbal assault at the gala that came out of nowhere as she hadn’t said anything yet. 2 grand for a new beemer, kinda threw his own money away, stupid thing to do

Awesome, thanks for sharing. Bet you get a lot of hits from the haters in this crowd.

So far I like this version much better than the original.

RSKY

Please don't post a part 2. This was a mess and shouldn't have been submitted. Pull this, edit it, add the second part and call it one-and-done.

This is well written, so I've scored it a 5, but I find the premise ridiculous. A stranger convinces a normal wife to run off for a weekend after 15 minutes? In that 15 minutes he gets in her panties and gives her a "special" G-Spot orgasm? The "goons" are just an attempt at a deus ex machina to explain why the husband doesn't immediately go out to his wife. The thought of having such "goons" at a charity function is absurd, and any commotion created at the doors would certainly be heard by the wife and would abort Woodson's "magic" if it was done soon enough. Any conflict at the door would also lead to embarrassment for Woodson. Authors should realize that no remotely normal woman is that impulsive; there are no "magic" orgasms; no remotely normal husband would be deterred by the "goons"; and no remotely normal woman would be willing to lose a 24 year marriage, as her husband told her he would, by walking out with some lothario.

But, the author is tasking himself with writing a different ending to a story that I remember as a trainwreck. So, he has to begin with the the other author's scenario (I don't remember the "goons", though). His handling of the aftermath of the wife's absurdly improbable behavior is quite good. Part 2 should be interesting.

@Xzy89c1

"Too short. Good grief publish all at once when this short." Do you always expect others to do as you wish them to do.

The woman (previous victim) comes up and tells Hubby that HER wife was enthralled by the sleazeball?? Similar lack of attention to detail persists throughout this chapter.

When trying to fix another’s story, don’t create a more flawed tale!

2*

Strictly boilerplate. Sort of like hearing an old favorite from fifty years past on the radio.

What’s the point of this story? The whole set up is insane. The wife goes from loyal to cheating in front husband within 15 minutes?! So much so that she comes home after the weekend? I don’t get it. These stories have to somewhat plausible. This ain’t it.

Illinois doesn’t allow Alienation of Affection lawsuits.

“Conversations”, by Tnicoll (11/18/20)

And, though I didn’t like “Conversations” outcome, it’s much more plausible than the story here. In this story you might as well make the MC as a millionaire, former SEAL, who is now a top internet hacker, still with ties to “black” government intelligence alphabet agencies. Oh, and is a black belt in 7 different martial art forms.

Please!!!

This probably would have been a 5⭐if it wasn't writing and editing so atrociously.

Please tell me this was a first draft, author, 'cause, if you actually worked on it... yikes.

I also remember reading the story on which this was based - hell, I even remember other retellings from other authors for it. But, for the life of me, I can't track it down... ah well.

Hopefully, Part 2 will be better written. Nowhere else to go, but up, on this one.

I think the story the Author is referring to in the intro is "February Sucks" by GeorgeAnderson

I remember the original, but not its ending. She certainly deserved the scorched earth treatment.

@nilu90perera - I know that it sounds like it, but, trust me, it's a whole different story from the same vein that came out, I think, two years or so before Anderson's take on it.

Should have let her in. If it's a 2 story house, she could accidentally fall from the second story. If not, he should put his hands around her neck, squeeze and hold... Skanky whore, go "make love" to your master.

I suggest using an editor. This story really needed it. The most grating thing to me was where Lana said "My wife is under his spell ..."

Lana is saying she has a wife? It seems fairly clear this was intended though to refer to Michael's wife Sofia.

Earlier comments seem to cover this offering fairly well. It does sound a bit like February Sucks but I don't think that is the one you recall. That one had friends out for an evening. And to you and all authors please use a living proofreader to follow continuity and spot words that are in a dictionary but not what was intended to be in your story. I found several words that made the story pause while my brain substituted the correct word.

Good story to get the reader on the husband's corner. She was upset that he sold her car but had no problem giving her Princess Diana replica ring to her lover. She got $2,000 for the car her husband gave her, while she gave her lover a ring that prpbably cost the husband over $1,000. When a woman gets cash or gifts from a man after screwing him she is called a prostitute. When a man gets cash or gifts from a woman he is called a gigolo. Either wasy they are both whores. Now, on to the next part of her fiasco