All Comments on 'Kim's New Life Ch. 18'

I’m really enjoying this series. It’s a good mixture of character development and sex which many stories here lack. I understand you’re rewriting/editing the story from ten years ago but I think you need to pay some attention to continuity errors. In part seventeen Kelly inserted a two inch butt plug before they went to the salon. At the end of part eighteen they’ve been to the salon, an eyeglass store, a department store, back home, and now to Lisa’s for dinner. Is Kimmy still wearing that plug? Given that she internally questions everything I would imagine that object might be of concern to her by now if not sooner.

It feels a bit like Chekhov’s gun. “If in the first act you have hung a pistol on the wall, then in the following one it should be fired. Otherwise don’t put it there.”

As another example during the initiation Kimmy’s ankle cuffs were removed along with her stockings and garter belt before her flogging. Later her stockings and garter belt were removed again when she put on the white shift. Minor things perhaps, but they can interrupt the flow of the story.

Again, I’m enjoying the story and looking forward to the next chapters but these were things I noticed. Overall it is very well done.

Thank you, CogitationBlink, for your comments. I agree with you on the issue of the butt plug. I should have "had Kelly remove it."

Regarding the removal of the stockings I couldn't find a problem. In Ch 15, the wording is: Sam opened a desk drawer, picked up a key, and removed the padlocks on my shoes, then removed the shoes, but not the garter belt and nylons. The word "not" is very important. They were later removed in chapter 16 as you mentioned.

You keep up the standard amazingly well, and even for those, like, me, who often find details of the "lifestyle" boring, in your hards they aren't.

Phrasing matters: there’s no male species or female species. There is Homo sapiens as a species with male and female genders. Suggesting that a male is a separate species reveals more about you and your worldview than any science. Unless it’s a Freudian slip which changes nothing.