Bambi's Separate Worlds Ch. 01

I want to set the record straight at the start. Though I'm reasonably certain I'd been gay my entire life, that wasn't how my life had gone. Those who believe in fate would say that apparently wasn't the life I was meant to live. That my wants and desires had been subverted by whatever cosmic entity guides the universe. That in the river of life we all float down I never reached my intended destination because my craft was inundated and washed away down another branch of the river.

Now I'll pretend you're Detective Joe Friday and just give you the facts. After hearing them and reading my story it will be up to you, the reader, to decide on your own what you think of me. There won't be anything I can do about the conclusions you reach. They'll be formed by your own experiences and biases as much as they will the information I give you. So I can only tell my tale and let you decide for yourself.

I can tell you that after being happily married for twenty-eight years, okay mostly happy because nothing is ever perfect, I had my first lesbian experience at the tender age of forty-eight. Yes, I was married when it occurred and a mother of two fully grown young men and a grandmother of two darling little granddaughters. But there's a story there so don't be too quick to judge.

I knew I was gay in my early teens. Or at least that's the way it seemed to me. After all, I was only attracted to girls during that early period of my life so I had no reason to expect otherwise. That was something I had to keep to myself because things back then weren't the way they are today. People weren't as accepting of homosexuality. Being labeled as such could have a profoundly negative effect on ones life. Particularly if you were raised in my area of the country and by my parents. Though in most aspects they were good people, they were terribly bigoted when the subject of gays and lesbians were brought up. Despite that I loved my parents. They were good to me in all other respects. I never wanted for anything I truly needed and always had their support in every other aspect of my life.

I was hardly a social butterfly during my teen years. Not being attracted to the boys I was surrounded by, dating was a non-issue for me. When most girls my age started dating I was spending my time locked in my room reading book after book. My parents just assumed I was painfully shy, a belief I never tried to dissuade them from. It kept me mostly safe from their attempts to set me up with whatever boy they found acceptable to receive my attention. That's not to say my mother didn't occasionally try to make things happen by placing me in awkward set-up type situations. Fortunately for me, I was always able to discourage said boys interests in me by being generally off putting.

Eventually she seemed to give up any notions of helping things along and left it to the hands of fate. That turned out to be a fortuitous thing for everyone involved.

My parents raised five kids and it was made clear to all of us at an early age that if we expected to go to college that we'd have to fund it ourselves. They were more than happy to help us monetarily as they could, once we'd secured the funds for our tuition. It was up to us however to work to make that happen. As a result, those of us kids that wanted an education post high-school, had to work for several years while living at home to raise the funds. That's what I was doing post graduation when I met a young man named Robert.

I was working full time as a secretary at my fathers accounting firm at eighteen when he hired Robert just out of college as a new accountant. I'd always been able to objectively determine whether or not a man was attractive looking or not. Just because I believed myself incapable of having romantic or sexual feelings towards the male of the species didn't mean I couldn't appreciate their form. Robert was one of those guys that even a lesbian would have no problem admitting was a handsome specimen.

For the first few months I paid him little mind though I did notice he was considerably less irritating than the boys I'd gone to high-school with. At twenty-four he was of course, far more mature acting. Over time I began to notice his other redeeming qualities. He was a compassionate type person always willing to help someone in need. Even if it meant setting aside things important to him. He was also very outgoing and friendly. He never seemed to struggle to find common ground with the people he met, making friends very easily. Robert was also a tirelessly hard worker. He wasn't one opposed to putting in extra hours to see to it his job was done and on time. He also never seemed to balk at the idea of helping others with their load when he was caught up. He loved animals, a trait I always found important in judging the quality of one's humanity. He owned an Irish Setter named Rascal who frequently accompanied him to the office. The dog would sit quietly behind his desk as he worked. He was such a calm animal most customers never even knew he was there.

It was for those reasons and the fact I wanted to please my parents that when Robert asked me out for dinner, I accepted his offer. Just six months before my nineteenth birthday I finally went on my first date.

I must admit that I was surprised to find I actually did enjoy myself. Robert was easy to talk to as well as being intelligent and well read enough to be able to carry on a conversation. He had a good sense of humor that wasn't sophomoric or dirty in nature. He was also clearly empathetic to others which helped make him a good listener. He allowed me to choose the restaurant we ate at and acted very gentlemanly the whole time. When we were finished eating we decided to finish our date by picking up Rascal from his place and taking him for a walk in the park. We walked and talked for more than an hour enjoying the beautiful summer evening. When the night was over he and Rascal took me home and escorted me to our front door. I was relieved when he didn't try to kiss me goodnight. Strangely enough I was also pleased when he told me he'd really like to take me out again.

I accepted his invitation.

After we were married he told me that my father had suggested to him when we first started dating that he needed to take things slow. He'd told Robert that I seemed painfully shy at times and would likely bolt if he pushed me to quickly. My dad had been right. Had he been to aggressive to soon I would have likely put a stop to the relationship. As is it was though he was remarkably patient with me and allowed my feelings for him to grow. For the first month we dated I saw him as just a good friend and a way to keep my parents off my back. That wasn't really fair to him in retrospect but I was still young and entitled enough to be a bit self absorbed. Over time and to my great surprise, I began to have romantic feelings for him.

It wasn't until our sixth date that I allowed him to kiss me for the first time. Until them our "romance" had consisted solely of hand holding and the occasional hug. That is of course slow even by standards then. By standards today where kids are hooking up a half-hour after they first meet it would be considered glacial. I think a part of what finally drew me to him was that remarkable patience he showed me. I remember thinking how much he must have truly cared for me to be so obsequious towards me. Everything centered on what I wanted and making me happy and in time his nature won me over.

When we'd been together perhaps six months I realized that I might be in love with him. Yes I was still attracted to the beautiful women I encountered around me. However, I found myself thinking less and less about that aspect of my sexuality.

On the one year anniversary of our first date he took me to that same restaurant. Afterwards, we once again went and picked up Rascal and took him for a walk in the park. It was there by the lake under a setting sun that he got down on one knee and proposed to me. With little thought to how I once believed my life would end up, I agreed to marry him.

We were married nine months later in the church I was raised in and settled into our first home just a few miles from where I grew up. Unlike a large percentage of women even then. I was a virgin on my wedding night. I remember being so scared of what was to occur that I locked myself in the bathroom once we reached our room at our resort in Jamaica. It took nearly an hour and a phone conversation with my mother to give me enough courage to go out and face my wifely duties.

Now my husband stands at six foot four inches and at the time weighed a shade under two hundred and thirty-five pounds. When it came to the equipment he was working with downstairs I can only tell you that the contents matched the package. When I'd later become more adventurous in our sexual escapades, I measured him at just a shade over eight inches long and just a hair under seven inches in circumference. Needless to say our wedding night was at first, an exercise in pain.

Now that's not to say Robert didn't take as much care with me as possible. It's just a bit too much to ask any woman to have her first time with something of that size and still be able to enjoy it. When I first laid eyes on it fully erect I was rethinking ever leaving the bathroom.

When I finally came out of my hiding spot he acted as if he nothing had happened. He greeted me and kissed me tenderly while holding my face in both his big hands. As I relaxed a bit more and began reacting to our make out session, I remember feeling him slowly begin to undress me. When he'd removed the camisole I was wearing he slowly began kissing my neck. He was careful to pay attention to each side as I felt his strong hands began to lightly fondle and squeeze my breasts. I remember being unable to restrain a moan the first time he began to roll my nipples between his fingers

As he kissed his way across my shoulders and down my chest I could feel my pussy begin to moisten. There was also a pronounced throbbing beginning to occur in the neighborhood of my clitoris. When he finally began to lick around my left nipple and kiss all around my breasts, my chest began to heave as my breathing quickened. It was at that point that Robert gently laid me down and continued to suck and nibble on my nipples as he gently stroked my sides with his fingertips.

After giving both my breasts ample attention he kissed his way down and ran his tongue inside my belly button. Something I remember finding incredibly erotic at the time. I knew where he was headed and what he intended to do. I'd never had it done to me of course, but looked forward to it happening. As he slid his way between my legs and slid my panties down my thighs, I lifted first one and then the other leg allowing him to pull them off. He kissed his way back up between my legs paying particular attention to the inside of my thighs. I found the spot where my thighs and groin joined together to be particularly sensitive when he ran his tongue both up and down each side.

When he finally slid his tongue up my slit I arched my back off the bed and thrust my hips against his mouth. He did it slowly using his wide flat tongue to part my lips and work his way up and down while teasingly avoiding my clit. He then sucked and nibbled on both my outer lips, trapping them between his teeth lightly and pulling on them. When he finally slid his tongue inside my orifice I almost came on the spot. He swirled his tongue round and round inside me while thrusting it in and out. And just when I didn't think I could take it anymore he slid out of me and replaced his tongue with a finger. As he ever so slowly began to thrust it inside me, he at last began to pay attention to my aching clitoris. His tongue felt like a sensual form of torture. He slid it languidly around my nub just hard enough to keep me on the precipice of my orgasm without allowing me to go over the edge.

I felt a second large finger slide inside me, stretching me out further. He would twist them around inside me as he slowly slid them in and out. I could tell he wasn't trying to make me come but to prepare me for a cock I still had not seen.

It was at that moment that he clamped down on my clit, sucking it between his lips. He flicked my nub rapidly with the tip of his tongue finally releasing my climax.

As I felt the wave rush through my core and could feel the convulsions crash through me causing my thighs to quiver, he slid a third large finger inside me. All the while he continued to attack my little nub with his tongue while humming in a constant deep voice. My insides had tightened around his fingers as I came and when my climax finally began to subside, he started twisting his fingers back and forth in a corkscrew fashion. I could feel a second orgasm building almost immediately behind the first and started begging him not to stop what he was doing. He was only too happy to oblige me.

When my second climax hit I screamed out his name over and over. He slowed his attack on my clit and withdrew his fingers from me but continued to run his tongue up and down my slit licking up all the juices leaking from my well satisfied pussy.

He then slid up and kissed me passionately. I could taste myself on him and found it incredibly arousing. After a few moments of our kissing and fondling he got off the bed and began to undress himself. As I watched him undress I made note of his broad, hairless chest. I'd mentioned to him one time how unattractive I found body hair. So to please me and make sure I found his body attractive he had shaved his body completely. His concern was always for me and my happiness.

When I saw what was hanging between his legs I began shaking again. His dick was so large and fat that even erect it didn't stand up. It just collapsed under its own weight.

Despite having just made me come twice and knowing how wet my pussy was, Robert grabbed a bottle of lube and got back on the bed. Once he'd coated his cock in the stuff and used his fingers to apply a generous coating to my pussy lips and inside me he closed the lid and tossed the bottle aside. He then took his massive member and began rubbing the head up and down between my pussy lips. He looked at me tenderly and told me that he would take things slow but there would likely be a certain amount of pain at first. He made me promise that if it got too bad I would let me know. He promised me that he would stop if it became uncomfortable.

Now as much as he wanted to please me and make me happy, I also wanted to do the same for him. So I was pretty determined that regardless of how it might feel that I would make it through.

When the head of his dick finally penetrated me I began considering changing my mind. It stretched me so much I felt as though it might tear me open. I kept my eyes closed because I didn't want Robert to see the tears beginning to form in my eyes. The further inside me he eased the monster the more it burned.

There was a brief moment of very sharp pain when he broke my hymen. That was followed by more burning and a dull ache. He stopped several times to ask me if I was okay and despite feeling as if a caustic material had been poured inside my pussy, I just shook my head yes.

When he slowly began to work his way in and out of me I kept my teeth gritted and my eyes and lips closed. The burning feeling did eventually go away leaving me with only a dull ache. That allowed me to finally start to relax and once I did, I actually began to get some pleasurable feelings from having him inside me. I never did come that first time though I could feel it building inside me. I did enjoy feeling him come inside me because we both wanted to have children right away.

We both used the restroom and then took a shower together. It was there in the shower where we had sex a second time. I was much less fearful and thus more relaxed. As a result, when he spun me around and leaned me against the wall I was ready for it. When he slid inside me this time there was some discomfort but nothing like what I endured before. Within just a few minutes that had subsided and been replaced by waves of pleasure slowly building to a crest. When my sweet gentle husband grabbed my long hair and pulled my head back as he began to pound himself inside me I came harder than I ever had in my life. Already having come once, Robert continued to stroke himself inside me and soon I could feel another orgasm building. Knowing how much the rough treatment had affected me the first time I was quick to ask for more.

"Pull my hair again Robert," I begged him.

He latched on and roughly pulled back on my hair, bending my head back as far as it would go. I came again, my screams filling the room as I thrust back against him.

Robert unloaded another load of cum inside me as I was coming down from my orgasm. He pulled me back towards him and kissed me hard.

"I didn't hurt you did I?" he asked me, "I mean I wasn't too rough."

I smiled back at him and kissed him again, saying, "Not at all. I think that rough stuff might actually be my thing." The admission embarrassed me a bit but it was one hundred percent true.

He smiled back at me. "That's good because I kind of enjoyed it too. I felt apprehensive about trying it because I didn't want to hurt you. I wasn't sure how you would react to it either."

I hugged him laying my head on his broad chest and said, "I sure am glad you did. I love how sweet and caring you normally are but I could learn to enjoy this version of Robert in the bedroom."

And that's how our sex life went. Robert tested my boundaries over the next few years always searching for my limits. I learned I loved to be tied up and fucked while suspended from the ceiling. That sensual pain made me progressively wetter and more aroused. That I loved anal sex and could have full body orgasms as he pounded me roughly. That having Robert call me vulgar, humiliating names and talk down to me while he fucked me could often push me over the edge and always aroused me. Our sex life was fantastic. When he'd take me on my back and fold my legs back until they were even with my ears and pounded my pussy or my ass with reckless abandon, I would come over and over again.

Outside of the bedroom he was always his sweet and caring self. He loved to dote on me and was always gallant in the way he treated me.

It took nearly fourteen months of marriage for me to finally become pregnant. Our son Richard was born in September of that year. We added his brother Ryan two years later to complete our little family. We'd both agreed by that point that two was enough so I had the doctor tie my tubes right after Ryan was born.

Over the next decade or more I don't ever remember a time when we weren't happy as a couple or a family. Our boys grew up and were heavily involved in both football and baseball throughout their youth. Their schedules kept us hopping, though thankfully they were both good kids. Other than some of the usual teenage angst that most parents encounter, they never gave us any trouble.

Our sex life had continued to be far more active than most of the couples we knew. Whenever I got together with those wives they would invariably mention how poor the quality and quantity of their sex lives were.

I couldn't say that though. During that time period I think we likely averaged fucking at least four times a week. And yes, the sex stayed rough. I don't think either one of us would have enjoyed things near as much without that added ingredient in our bedroom.

Now all this sounds great right? I had a loving husband and two great kids. Robert made good money so we were financially secure. I certainly had no reason to be unfulfilled right?

I was at times though. You can't always help who you fall in love with. I was a lesbian who through circumstance happened to fall in love with a man. It doesn't happen a lot but probably more than you think. Yes, I still found myself strongly attracted to certain women. Enough so that I developed quite the addiction to lesbian porn in my late twenties. I had a few tapes that I kept hidden that I'd masturbate to while Robert was at work and the boys were at school. I knew my life was good and I didn't want to do anything that might jeopardize my marriage or my family. So, I never acted on any of my attractions.