kinky_af

I knew it'd be a bad idea to ditch the Friday afternoon drinks - even the guys who were married came for an hour or so - but I wondered if I could slide over into leaving when they did without attracting comment. Then I'd be early enough - and sober enough - to drive down and see Reid...

I fell asleep before I came up with any kind of solution and didn't think about it any more until Friday afternoon drinks rolled around again, and again, after a while, I got that sense of detachment, and underneath it a longing, tugging at me...

"See anything you like, J?"

I jumped, hard. I'd been staring off into the distance, toward the main bar. Fuck, was I...did it look like I was checking somebody out? And had 'somebody' noticed?

I shook my head, blinking. "Ahh, no."

Callum nudged me. "C'mon, though - give us a clue! What's your style? How about the ginger there - yeah, nah? You do the ginger thing, bro?"

Someone else jumped in about the tall guy next to him, how he had huge hands, you know what they say about big hands, then Keiran was saying, nah boys, I reckon we're in the wrong sort of bar, he'd be wanting one of those, y'know, the ones with the mascara and the pink drinks and...

I couldn't work out what was going on. They usually left me alone about it, but they were all getting going now, and fucking pointing to the guys they were suggesting, which was just...

"I'm actually kinda doing the monogamy thing at the moment," I mumbled, staring into the bottom of my glass.

"You can still look, bro!" Keiran exclaimed. "You know what they say - it doesn't matter where you get your appetite, so long as you eat your lunch at home..."

I laid my hand over my phone, pressing hard into my thigh, trying to send some telepathic message. Please fucking call me. Give me an excuse to get out of here. Help.

My boss stood from the table and jerked his head at me in unmistakable summons, at the same time dropping two fifties on the table in front of Keiran and saying;

"Get some more beers, and find another fucking topic to discuss before I come back."

I stumbled after him, out to the little smoking garden at the back, wondering if what I was heading toward was gonna be better or worse than...that back there...

Mac smoked nearly a whole cigarette while I fidgeted beside him, before he side-eyed me and grunted;

"Monogamy, eh?"

I shrugged. "Ahh, yeah?"

He nodded, blew some smoke out his nostrils, and silently finished his cigarette. And then he started to talk.

"I'm a fan of monogamy," he said. "I mean, obviously it doesn't always work - but when it does? Well, I can tell you I have no bloody idea what Keiran is on about with that lunch out-or-in jazz of his. If you find the right person, if you're lucky enough? I promise you there's never any need to go out and stare at what you haven't got to work up an appetite. It's more like there's just this...endless buffet waiting for you...that...doesn't get old..."

Jesus christ. Talk about awkward. I did-not-know-where-to-look, but I settled on my bootlaces, dirty yellow with black ticking woven through.

"It's been eighteen years so far," Mac pressed on, "and every one of them's been more fucking brilliant than the last. And y'know, to the extent that I register other women at all by this point - as sexual creatures, I mean - it's always, without fail, because there's something about them that reminds me of Tash." He huffed a small laugh. "Mate. I ain't pretty, I ain't famous, and my knees are shot to hell - but when I look in the mirror every morning? I see a lucky man looking back at me..."

I felt like I was in a movie or something. People just don't say this kind of shit in real life.

"Why are you telling me this?" I hissed.

Mac looked me up and down. And then he grinned. "Because you've been fucking struck by lightning, J," he murmured. "Haven't you?"

Yes. Yes. Yes. I didn't say anything, just stood there hot-cheeked, initially trying not to smile, and then suddenly...trying not cry.

He put a hand to my shoulder and squeezed. "Hold onto it, mate. Don't let it go."

----

I went home and showered off the work grime and the stinky fear-sweat of those last few minutes at the table in the pub, and then I called Reid to tell him my boss had been giving me relationship advice, and he laughed while I laid there blissing to the sound of it, and feeling that urge, that tug, stronger rather than weaker now I was talking to him...

I told him I had to work in the morning and that I'd just grab a pie and a coke after and be right down to his, which was what I did, and on the way there I kept feeling that tug, that undertow, and I wondered what it was, exactly. I mean, I was absolutely looking forward to getting my dick sucked - I had that feeling going on - but this was different, separate...

Due to it being 1pm when I rocked up, Reid was already in the middle of some painting. He came to let me in wearing a soft grey paint-flecked t-shirt going into holes about the neckline and a pair of very retro Billabong jeans.

"Oh yaas!" he hissed as I stepped in the door, "The reflective-tape pants for the win! Again!"

He tapped my arse playfully and then hooked my neck in the vee of one of his long arms and pulled me in for a kiss, while I hung on to him like a limpet, and the two feelings I'd been feeling in my ute on the way over - the one seated that was in my dick and the one that wasn't - they fused, and they ran out all through me, hot and white through every nerve, and I gave myself up to it...more...more...

Reid eased back and eyed me, his arm still slung about my shoulder.

"Y'know," he said, sounding thoughtful, "you get kinda subby when I kiss you, J."

I shook him off, shrugging away. "I do not!"

A sly grin in response. "You don't, eh?"

He leaned in, grabbed my jaw and fastened his mouth over mine again and almost immediately I got that sense of weightlessness, of being surrounded, of being deliciously, deliciously out of my depth - and suddenly he was pulled away staring at me, one eyebrow raised...

"Yeah, you do."

Ahh, shit. I laughed it off. "Whatever, mate."

Note to self, I thought, as he sloped away back to his paint tray and roller and I started unpacking tools, don't give him any more ideas along that line.

I failed before the day was out, but it wasn't my fault - not really. Reid finished up whatever room he was working on after about an hour, and squeezed past me on his way to wash everything up as I was kneeling down fitting outlet covers in the hallway. Five minutes later and he was back standing beside me, his flipper-feet intruding into my field of vision...

"Hey, J..."

I looked up and caught a smirk, head-on.

"Just...while you're down there..." he breathed, his hand ghosting over his crotch.

"You're kidding, right?" I laughed.

He laid a hand either side of his very hard dick, moulding the fabric around it. "Does it look like I'm kidding? And besides, you know I said I wanted you to blow me sometime while you were wearing those pants..."

"No, you didn't!" I protested. "You said you wanted to blow me sometime while I was wearing these pants!"

"Eh, potato, po-tah-to," he drawled. "Get to work..."

I would've informed him where he could fuck off to with all that high-handed bullshit, but he had his dick out by that point, and that thing was just kryptonite to me...

As I wrapped my lips around him and sank down, feeling him straight and hot and true and the perfect combination of resistance and give under my tongue, I heard him breathe a 'good boy', and I would've told him to cut that shit out, but my mouth had other priorities, and so...he said it again and by then I didn't care and he was saying other stuff too but I couldn't really hear it, I had no room for any of that, I was so hot and lost and so turned on...

I was so turned on my hands were fumbling with the snap-button at my waist, then the zipper, then everything else...down, out of the way, and I was beating myself off furiously before I realised; I had never done this before. Never. Hands free for bracing, always, and here I was...but somehow I knew that even with the hint of aggro Reid had going on right now, he wasn't gonna do what I'd told him I didn't like...

I gave it away anyhow - I couldn't focus on him properly when I had a hand on myself - and channeled all my own desperation back at him, the source, feeling him swell and get harder, and harder, and -

"So close, baby," he hissed. "Nearly there..."

I moaned acknowledgement as he continued;

"Don't swallow, 'kay? Keep it and show me."

Ohhh, yes. So yes. I moaned again and that sent him over the edge, his hips locked stiff and just pumping, pumping into my mouth...

He looked down at me with fiery eyes when he was done, and I was kneeling there, head tipped back and jaw sagged, showing him.

"Good boy, J. Good listening. Now cup your hands under your junk for me, baby."

Instinctively, I did, as Reid fixed his gaze on me again and told me;

"You know what to do."

I did. I hadn't...gone quite there...in my head - but I was going there now. I let my face drop forward and drooled out all that cum all over my own dick and balls - then I glanced up again, and Reid caught my jaw in his hand, tilting my head back further, and said;

"Gonna cum for me now, baby?"

My shins were about done with being mashed into his floorboards, and he had my neck extended more than was comfortable, but still I came in under a minute, whining and shuddering with the force of it, and all the time Reid...just staring into me, commandeering my attention, keeping me locked, consuming me with those eyes of his.

He let me look down when I was done...and fuck, what an epic mess. But so worth it...I peeked up at Reid again, and all the hard edges, the arrogance? - it was gone from his eyes. Instead he looked...stunned. Winded.

"You don't even know, do you?" he whispered. "You don't even know how devastating you are."

I shook my head, dizzied, wondering what'd happen if I tried to stand. If I'm devastating, what are you? Apocalyptic? Yeah, potato, po-tah-to, chemistry...

There's never anything apocalyptic about the clean-up, though...there was so much cum on the front of my pants that honestly you'd have said there'd been a gang-bang going on...

"Want me to put them through the wash for you, J?"

"Ah, yeah," I mumbled, pushing myself upright, "yeah, thanks mate."

So then of course I had to wear some of Reid's pants, which were predictably too long - but I made it work, and two hours later I was done for the day, sitting down at his table, to a meal he'd cooked, wearing his clothes...

"Jeez, look at this," I said, gesturing at myself and then at the food, "we're basically fucking married here."

Reid's eyebrows did their little dance-y thing as he handed me a dish of spaghetti and meatballs. "Well howdy, wifey..."

"Um, you're the wifey," I pointed out. "I just got done with work and you've made me some dinner."

"Yeah, but you're colonising my clothes," he said. "That's a pretty wifey thing." A smirk spread over his face. "Though I guess sometimes it's a husband thing as well. If the husband's like...kinky as fuck..."

We argued that back and forth for a few minutes, until Reid pushed back his chair and said;

"So who did the dishes in your house, then? Mum or Dad?"

I snorted. "Um, the kids. Soon as you turned ten you were on the roster. Kids Monday to Friday, Dad on Saturday, eat-from-the-paper-and-bin-it on fish and chip day."

"So definitely not mum-slash-wifey, ever?" he prompted.

I stood up. "Okay, fuck it! I'll do the dishes..."

He grinned. "You're a babe. I'll be in the shower."

I was done in the kitchen and sitting down on the couch channel-surfing before the water shut off. I wondered if that meant I was getting lucky again, or if Reid just always had stupidly long showers.

I didn't have to wonder for long. He appeared in the doorway, totally naked, and when I muted the TV he said;

"Coming to bed, yeah? Even just for a bit?"

I let him take the lead once we were there, because I still didn't know for sure...but given the way he ground his taint on my wrist when I slipped a hand between his legs for a reach-around, the signs were promising...

We ended up arranged the same as the previous week, me on my back and him straddling me, slowly taking me in, riding, riding - but instead of speeding it up and up, he wound it down...and down, and then he laid himself along me, chest to chest, hands in my hair and breathing against my neck as he clenched and quivered his hole and rocked infinitesimally back and forth...

Oh, fuck...the feel of all that skin, still cool and smooth from his shower, the rise and fall of his ribcage against mine, the way his dick mashed into my abdomen... I loved it all. I put one arm over his back and locked it, holding him in, and reached the other one up to take hold of one of the uprights on his bed-head to brace myself so I could raise my knees, plant the soles of my feet on the mattress, and thrust up into him.

I felt his fingers clutch immediately in my hair - another few seconds and he was licking at my neck, sucking, nibbling...next it was my jaw, biting, tugging at my beard - then his lips were on mine, soft and wet already, soft and wet and urgent, and I fucked harder up into him as he ate at my face, and harder again, and the harder I fucked, the more of his tongue he worked into me, until he was owning my mouth as completely as I was owning his arse - and the feeling that he was inside me while I was inside him...it was the most intense thing I'd ever done. Ever.

Neither of us moved, after. I slipped out of him, but I could feel the condom had stayed on. Reid's cum was on my belly, spread there between us warm and erotic, gluing us together...and in my head I heard Mac's voice saying, 'Hold onto it, mate. Don't let it go'.

Yeah. I felt like you could throw me off Niagara Falls and I wouldn't let this go. I squeezed tighter with the arm laid over his back. I held on, fell asleep...and stayed.

We seemed to come to at about the same time in the morning - I think the disturbance to the mattress of him turning back over toward me was what woke me. I laughed when I saw him. I couldn't help it.

"Christ, mate. If you could see your hair right now, the way it's...you look like a little kid."

Reid raised an eyebrow. "Is that a bad thing?"

"No..." No. Not a bad thing at all. I wish I knew you when you were a little kid, I thought. I wish I'd known you forever, I wish we could...

Reid was watching me. "Alright, J?" he murmured.

"Yeah. Fine." I reached out and combed his hair mostly back into place with my fingers. "There, now you look like Reid."

He grinned as he shuffled down along my body. "You know it's gonna immediately get messed up again, right?"

I returned the favour after and we lay together again, his head pillowed on my arm. Sunday. No need to get up. Sunday - fuck...

I started to try and sit up. "I forgot to take my meds last night."

Reid pushed me back down. "Do you have them with you, though?"

"Yeah, they're in the side-pocket of my tool bag." I'd had them with me every week since that first one, just in case, just in case - and then I'd gone and fallen asleep too early and missed the time...

"Probably no real harm done if it's just one dose," Reid said, swinging his legs off the bed. "I'll get them for you, baby - I'll bring them."

"Thanks, wifey," I whispered as he left the room.

He didn't immediately jump back round the doorframe and flip me off, so I assumed he hadn't heard - but I changed my mind on that one a few minutes after he got back. We were lying together, same as before, just listening to the sounds outside - birds, and dogs, and cicadas and thankfully no car alarms, when Reid said;

"J...I should probably tell you...I mean, I don't want you to get the wrong...the thing is...just so you know - I don't necessarily feel the urge to bottom all that often, so..."

"So you're expecting me to pick up the slack or something?"

He pushed himself up on his elbow and frowned down at me. "I'm not expecting you to do anything you don't want to do, J. Not anything, okay?"

I looked at him. That insane hair sticking up everywhere again, the slightly bleary gaze - he was cute with his glasses on, and a different kind of cute without them on, a more vulnerable kind...disarming, that's what it was...

I threaded my fingers through his. "The trouble is," I confessed, "when you put that magic bloody mouth of yours to work on me, you pretty much make me want to do all the things."

Reid shook his head. "You know that's not how it works, right, J? I can't make you want anything. Desire isn't imposed, it comes out from the inside. If it's there, that is."

I pretended I was too dumb to understand that and he let it drop, and we got up after about half an hour and had coffee and cereal before I put on my now-clean work pants and did maybe another hour's cable-pulling before heading home.

The work distracted me. The drive home did the opposite, somehow concentrating and distilling my thoughts until they were entirely honed in, replaying Reid's voice over and over...you know that's not how it works, right?...

...then what?...

I sat, alone in my still reasonably tidy room, and thought. Desire isn't imposed, he was saying in my head now, desire isn't imposed...

It comes out from the inside. If it's there.

I flopped down on my back on the bed. Shit. Was I really gonna...really? Because it was there. Or at least, it was back. It was there again. But...

It was never the idea of bottoming you hated, I told myself, it was the reality. You wouldn't have tried it if you hated the idea. You wouldn't have tried it a second time on the basis that maybe nobody loves their first attempt, if you'd hated the idea...

But the reality...especially that second time? Nope, I thought. Nope-nope-nope. Best not to go back there. So I don't mind the idea, so what? Doesn't need to mean anything. People have all kinds of bizarre fantasies that they're not looking to actually play out, it's fine...

I dozed off after a while and I don't think I dreamed, but when I woke up I was hard and fumblingly rubbing myself through my clothes, and the first thing into my head was that picture of me in Reid's kitchen trying to wire that stove, of him coming up behind me, lying over me, gripping my neck, grinding into me...

But that isn't fantasy, I reminded myself. That was real. Careful, J...

That was real. He actually did that. He did that, and in reality I liked it so much that I basically flipped a switch...

My pants were undone by now and my hand was a blur on my dick, even though I was aware that if I was gonna lie here and knock one out to the memory of Reid unmistakably messaging that he wanted my arse, if I was gonna get off to that ...I had all but folded already.

I made myself stop stroking - for maybe ten seconds - but I couldn't stop thinking about him covering and surrounding me, finding my ear and telling me how it was...and the feeling...it was too strong...I let it wash over me, pushed down my pants and jerked off all over myself.

And then I did it again.

----

It was a rough week - running at the idea, running away from it. Shutting myself in my room and wanking furiously...being furious with myself afterwards, making a bunch of dumb vows only to immediately break them.

Reid noticed something was up on Wednesday. He was still into his walking by the river thing, and by now we always went back to mine afterwards, which made the whole deal worthwhile from my point of view.