Kissing post Comedy Show

Haven't been to a comedy show in ages... Even though I absolutely love them I just don't have enough time these days. Tonight though, things are falling into place and I can finally, finalllllly go out for a laugh or two.

Comedy clubs are always incredibly interesting as far as people watching goes. There's always that one idiot with the hottest girl in the club; there's the obnoxious group of bachelorettes, the bro heckler and the pretentious dude aka me, that always judging the crowd. Ok, I should leave the comedy for the pros.

I meet up with my buddy and we take a cab downtown. We pick up our tickets and head for our seats. We were up in the mezzanine, looking down at the comics with an excellent view not only of the performers but also the crowd. I scan around as we all do, looking for a little something and once I scoped the whole place out, not being excited by any particular lady I set my eyes on the last person in the first row and I swear to you I felt me jaw hit the table.

The woman I saw was unlike any other I had ever seen in person. The best way I can describe it is as if a work of art, a movie poster, a video vixen, a sci fi wonderwoman, came to life. As much as it was something to do with her stunning looks, I was mostly drawn to her fashion sense. From up above I could see her hair. I must've spent the entire first comic trying to figure out what she was she had done. She was wearing two sort of buns or bows type of situations, almost like something Bjork would wear. The little balls of hair seemed yellow or orange while the hair on her scalp was brown. She was also wearing a super thick necklace/choker that only helped to accentuate her stunning cheek bones and cute, perky ears. Again, even from up high I could tell she was a stunner and I could see her juicy lips from yards away... her mouth just couldn't be that good. Could it?

The first comic finishes and as the crowd are clapping, this magnificent woman walks up and I literally had to cover my mouth in utter and complete disbelief. As she got up, I could see the most defined six pack and ab region I had ever seen. Unfucking real... She started walking towards what I assume was the ladies room and I could now see her whole outfit... The tiniest daisy dukes I've seen in quite some time and a very, very, very, very tight white top, barely holding onto some undoubtedly scrumptious upper region and said region was covered by some sort of army looking over shirt, cammo if my eyes serve me right. Oh, and those knee high boots helped showcase her stunning legs.

She seems so familiar... I'd say I've seen her on instagram or one of those social media platforms but without recurring to hyperbole I couldn't have seen her anywhere else than in my dreams. That just had to be it. Not trying to objectify here but it was as if I could've orderer her from the fantasy woman menu. It's as if someone asked me to describe the most delicious woman I could but then they add caramel skin tone and a smile that lit up the entire city.

As the headliner is about to be introduced I decide to head down to the bathroom myself before I miss him. As I get up I could feel someone looking at me and as I put my jacket on I take a cool, calm and obviously obvious look towards her. Or maybe I should say towards YOU. Yes, you. You were looking back towards me and I can only hope that it was me who you were staring at.

I come back to my seat, enjoy the belly holding laughter and give the man the standing ovation he deserves. Instead of looking at him, I'm shamelessly staring at you now. Purposely trying to have you notice me and right when I'm about to give up you look towards me and smile. For a split second I say to myself: "here goes nothin..." and I wave at you and you give a quick wave back. Paralized I became. I felt like this maybe on my first date in 8th grade. Love that feeling.

That was that I thought. The entire crowd floods the exits and me buddy and I decide what to do next. While chatting outside he gets a call from his wife who had locked herself out and he just had to go home on the spot. After wishing him a fast return home I decide to walk down the boulevard towards the coffee shop I often frequent and maybe grab some tea before I call a cab.

Cup of darjeeling in hand, I walk towards the crosswalk and to my great surprise I see you on the other side of the street. I once again have the chance to look at you and was proven absolutely correct. Everything I had thought about was true. You couldn't be any more attractive. Light turns green and the white light illuminates the little walking man above our heads and we walk towards each other. The close we get the more i'm convinced that I have to just do it... just fucking do it man...

You're about to walk past me, staring at me but still decided to walk past me along with your friend but I stop right in front of you, look deep into your eyes and right then and there, without saying a single word, i gently hold your face with my hands, a face that fits perfectly in my palms, and I slowly and gently kiss you. I feel your strong hands grip my forearms... hard enough to let me know you are there and don't fully believe I had the balls to do that, and also light enough to allow me to keep doing it.

Your mouth tastes even more succulent than I expected. My big lips melting into yours... yours into mine... your taste, yummy and delicious flavor of peach and vanilla ice cream and sex and lust and arousal. You know kisses are good when you feel them between your legs. You know kisses are good when you feel them all through your body.

As our mouths get us lost and make us forget about the world, I can still notice the danger of just standing in the middle of the street. I move my hands and hold your hips, still kissing you, and gently guide you to the side of the street you were coming from. Are we walking or are we dancing? Not sure but what I'm positive about is that I have never felt softer skin in my life. Not only from your face but also from the tiny spaces of skin I was able to hold. Kissing you feels glorious, touching you feels better than being touched.

You friend yells your name, trying to get your attention and you wave her off...

These aren't normal kisses. These are: "we're making each other hard and wet and crazy" kisses.

I look around and see a parking lot about 20 yards from the light post and hold your hand and make you walk with me until we hide behind a couple of SUVs, completely hidden. Still without saying a word, I lean you on the passenger side of what looks like an escalade and continue kissing you. My hands start to wonder and I gently move your jacket to one side and softly place my hands over your breasts. They are the perfect size... perky, hard yet soft and proportionate. Things are steaming up though... The space between the car you find yourself leaning against and the one behind me is very very tight. Tight enough for you to lift your left leg and prop it over wheel of the other car. The light post above me is just bright enough to let me get a glimpse of the most defined legs I have ever seen... You put your leg there to be worshiped, to be admired, to be smelled, to be licked, to be caressed, to be touched. I trace a sensual line from your knee, wondering around behind, inside and out, all while kissing you.... You clearly know how fucking hot you are... you are allowing me to simply be part of your beauty, without ego or judgement.

The lines I traced on your skin only led up to one place... Your warmth was as lovely as your kisses, if not more... But your stare was greater than either. Smiling, staring, tiny laughs, bottom lip biting... not sure which one is making me crazier... has to be all of them...

They all arouse me.

You arouse me.

The flavor of your lips arouses me.

The thought of your goosebumps arouses me.

The idea of your voice, moaning, arouses me.

The potential of pulling your hair arouses me.

The reality of tasting every single inch of you arouses me.

I turn you around and push my hardness on your daisy dukes. You couldn't have a tighter body, could you? I could eat you up right now... I could let my tongue do things to you every single man and woman dreams about but none could... not like me. I could devour you. I could taste your succulent moisture, your soft skin, your tight muscles, all while making you smile like never before and look into the first set of eyes that have ever intimidated you.

When I am about to unzip your shorts this arousing scenario is interrupted by a loud car horn...

Turns out we never kissed. We never touched.

We walked past each other at the crosswalk and as I turned around and stared at you passing me by I imagined all of this.

If I had gotten hit by that car... surely going to heave would've meant going back to those lips.