Knife's Edge Pt. 04

I knelt back and my hands circled his ass, squeezing it gently. He moaned at the gentle touches. I mapped it out across the small of his back with my finger first.

"Ready to become mine?" I whispered, uncapping the pen. My hand was resting on his ass. He moaned softly.

"Yes, chef." He said quietly.

"Good boy." I stroked his hair and started writing on him. I grunted as I finished and sat back to admire him. He looked over my shoulder at me. He was flushed and his eyes were steely.

I reached for his lube, kneeling back on the bed and moaning as I spread his cheeks.

"Stay exactly where you are." I told him. "Don't move."

"Heard."

"Ok." I moaned. "Fuck you look nice, baby." I ran my fingers over his hole gently, teasing him. I massaged his taint and caressed his balls, then wrapped my hand around his cock which was throbbing. I played with him like that, my other hand stroking circles over his ass, occasionally brushing my fingers close to his hole. "Such a pretty hole." I whispered. Joel started to turn his head with a sharp look in his eye. I caught his hair and jerked it back. He gasped. "I said stay exactly where you are." I grunted. "That means don't move." I felt him melt. "That's good." I pressed on his back, arching it further for me. "Mmmm.." I held him open with both hands, running my thumbs over the rim of his hole.

"Fuck." He shivered as I spat on his hole, and rubbed it into his rim, mingling with the lube.

"You're a good boy." I crooned, one hand drifting to fondle his dick again. He was breathing heavily. "Fuck I love this hole. You're perfect, baby." My hands were switching slowly, one on his ass at all times, keeping it spread, and one gently fingering him: pressing in one finger every so slowly and moaning, leaving it there, reaching for his prostate and just gently pressing on it. His legs were shaking. "You like this?" I asked. "You like being handled like this? Like my sweet little slave? You like it when I wrap my hands all over my property?" I started to pump him harder, just with one finger, while I cradled his dick and balls, rubbing my palm over them. "Oh you LOVE this." I moaned.

"Yeah." He panted. He was trembling and dripping with sweat, despite how little he'd actually moved. I chuckled and leapt up, pressing my dick against him. I gripped his hips as I humped my ass. "Please..." I heard him beg.

"Oh, don't worry. I'm gonna fuck you." I moaned. "I'm just gonna tease you first, baby. Fuck, you make me so horny. Can you feel how hard I am for you?" I gently manipulated his hips, pulling him back gently like I was actually taking him. I ground myself against him. "That's it." I sighed, cupping his ass. "You want me so bad."

"Yeah." He whimpered. "Rueben... Rubes..."

"Fuck, it's so hot when you moan my name." My dick twitched against him. "Hmmm, I don't know how long I can wait for this."

"Rubes..." he threw my head back. If he kept playing it up like this I'd have to stop teasing before I lost it.

"Good boy. You need this don't you?"

"Yeah."

"Ok, baby." I tapped my hard cock on his hole.

"Baby, for fucks sake..." He glared over his shoulder and I laughed. I caught his chin and gently turned his head back.

"Now, baby, calm down. If you want my cock you'll be soft and obedient for me. Won't you?" He moaned, gyrating his hips to feel my cock against him. I thrust my hips lazily, letting my cock slide between his cheeks which were slippery with lube. "Won't you?" I tightened my grip on his hips.

"Yes, sir. Yes chef. Whatever you want." He moaned.

"Oh gooood boy." I parted his cheeks and we both whimpered as I finally impaled him. I was still going slow and gentle, just thrusting slowly, moaning as I fondled him. "You take me so well." I moaned. "Your hole was made for me." I sped up fractionally. "You feel so good, baby." My hand went to his dick and he started to shake. "This too much, baby?" He let out a cry, but he was thrusting back. He couldn't seem to get a sentence together, but as he paused for a microsecond I remembered what we'd agreed on.

"Colour." I panted.

"Green, baby."

"You're taking this so well." I crooned, my own breath going shorter. I pushed his chest into the bed and started moaning as my thrusts grew harder, longer, faster. "Who's hole is this?" I hissed.

"Yours, Rueben."

"Say my name."

"Rueben. Valentini.."

"That's right, baby, who owns you?"

"You do, Rubes."

"Fuck yes." I grunted. One hand squeezed his dick hard, the other gripping his ass. I shoved my dick so far in he almost lost his balance. I panted, desperately imagining my cum burying itself deep inside him. Really claiming him. Changing his DNA.

--

It didn't take long for me to have the first wave of 'what the hell is wrong with you?'. But we'd planned for that. I sat in Joel's lap and we drank coffee and talked about things. How I felt, how he felt, what worked, what didn't. We talked about next time, and that Joel wanted to top me again soon if that was ok. I wasn't quite ready to be tagged as someone's property- but I did love it when he fucked me.

"Is it going to be boring for you if it's more vanilla?"

"Making love to you is never boring." He smiled. "Are you actually ok with switching? Or are you just doing it for me?"

"No." I leant against him. "I truly love it both ways, and until you I had no idea. Thanks, Joel."

"Thanks for trying it." He squeezed me tight. "Are you ready for breakfast? Then a gym session maybe?" He kissed my shoulder.

"Hmmm.... I wanted to try that new place near Bunnings... Chard? Do you wanna go out for brunch?" I asked him.

"Oh yeah, that's Tom's new place? We should really do dinner there, I fucking hate brunch. Overpriced eggs and sautéed greens and expensive granola..."

"You just described our menu."

"Yeah, I'm a sellout."

"Dinner then." I got up. "Fuck. Would that be a date?! We've never been on a date!" Joel saw the panic in my eyes and joined me in getting ready, pulling the sheets up and making the bed

"Let's pretend we're critics. Or that we're snooping on him to steal his recipes." He grinned. "Take photos of the wine list. See if he's got his hands on anything rare and funky and get the supplier."

"I am interested in the wine list."

"Naturally." He yawned. "Speaking of overpriced granola, I have a batch past its best. You make us more coffee, I'll make sure that hasn't gone mouldy."

"Ok."

We ate, and headed to the gym.

Joel really pushed me these days. I was lifting almost as much as him. He did it because he loved it, and I could see his happiness in sharing something he loved with someone he loved.

The results obviously delighted him as well, but he never seemed to look at me any differently no matter what my body did. He's always had the same intensity. Always a warmth and a desire behind his eyes. So I felt ok to show off, sometimes, because I didn't think he'd mind that much if I had an accident and couldn't train for weeks, or decided I didn't want to. He thought I was the hottest thing on earth- but it wasn't my body. It was something beyond that.

-----

Chard was very welcoming to us. Tom Dubois and Joel were old friends and I wasn't exactly new to the scene. We didn't have a booking and we probably should have, but some magic hand waving happened and we were ushered to a table. A waiter was always nearby whenever our drinks got low and extra dishes kept showing up with a wink.

"Man, we should really go out more often." I mumbled to Joel. "Do you get this service everywhere?"

"I think it's probably US." He laughed. "People will think this is a recce."

"Well, it's not NOT a recce." I critically admired the chic sage green velvet and natural pine everywhere. Nice fit out.

The food was all vegan. Small sharing plates. Lots of mushrooms and brassicas and grains- trendy plant based umami flavours with a Vietnamese French flair. The cocktail list was strong- very fruity for me, but they knew what 'cocktail people' like and threw the classics there as well. The wine list was underwhelming if cool- cheap, crunchy and natural. Nothing I didn't know already.

"Inspired?" I asked Joel. He shrugged.

"It's fantastic." He said, tasting the sauces and thinking about it. "I swear he uses bouillon. He's very good at this. Plant based is sort of dying as a trend though. I hope he can stay open."

"Plant based still seems trendy?"

"It is right now, which means it won't be in a couple of years." Joel said. "No one can afford to eat ethically these days. People still want to. But they're gonna do it through vegetable boxes and the reduced to clear bins at supermarkets. This kind of thing will be on the way out. But the whole industry is fucked." He gently tore apart a dumpling, inspecting the insides. "The dumb thing is, people still want to eat out, they'll always want to. Good ingredients cost good money though. People don't get that. I'm worried it'll only be bland corporate places surviving."

"So.... you really don't want to open your own place?" I asked.

"Of course I do! I've been tweaking the menu for years." Joel laughed. "I have a business plan. I even have the staff in mind. I need capital- and I'm also struggling with the idea of leaving a very steady and comfortable income just for my own ego."

"What sort of food?"

"Peasant food." He smiled at me. "None of this tiny bullshit small sharing tapas wank. If I never have to tweeze a single herb it'll be too soon. I wanna find an old fashioned dark wooden room with nooks everywhere. The wine list will be ridiculous. Pages long. I'll get a somm in obviously. We'll do piles of sourdough with garlic butter, stews, hand rolled pastas, ratatouille, shakshuka- I mean; the main meal will dictate the rest of the menu- so it'll be more Mediterranean some days and more Middle Eastern other days.... 'Nightshades', I was thinking of calling it- unless that's dumb."

"I like it." I smiled at him. "You'll still have to tweeze herbs though, unless you drastically change your plating style."

"Part of me just wants to dump it all in big Temuka bowls." He grinned. "But you're probably right."

"Tomato based menu?"

"Oh... I guess." He laughed. "People go on about the potato as the staple of the working class but they're really sleeping on tomatoes."

"And you're not calling it 'Beefsteak'?" I teased, squeezing his thigh.

"Roma." He suggested. "After my Italian sommelier..."

"Ahhhhh, so you're roping me into this?"

"I can't do it without you!" He grinned at me. "Well, we can workshop the name. We doing dessert?"

"I'm absolutely stuffed."

"Me too." He yawned and finished his drink. "Down the middle?" He asked after our plates were whisked away.

"Yep." We stood up and he reached into his pocket. His face fell. He patted himself down and looked at me awkwardly.

"Scratch that.... Massive, massive IOU?"

"You can get the next one." I laughed at him.

"Well, well, well." Tom took over the till in his whites. "Look who managed to drag themselves in." He and Joel greeted each other with a clap on the shoulder. Tom nodded at me with a smile. "Business meeting?" He laughed.

"This one's all pleasure." Joel smiled. "Hey, love this, dude." He gestured around the room before leaning in and glancing over his shoulder. "What do you put in the stock? That has to be fish right?"

"Trade secret! But no, no secret hidden meat around here."

"I'll give you my fennel oil recipe."

"I don't believe you." Tom grinned. Joel laughed. "Na, it's actually just a vegan bouillon, I think I use like the first search result from reddit."

"Yeah I don't do anything different from what a google search would give you for my infusions either." Joel shrugged. "Guess we're both hacks."

"Did you enjoy everything else? How's the wine list Rueben?"

"It's perfect, your price point is spot on." I smiled. "Loads of good Australian stuff- you're sleeping on Japan though, majorly good organics coming out. Here..." I scribbled a supplier down on a bit of paper. "Ask Hanna."

"Thanks." Tom smiled and ushered us away from the till as other people came up to pay. "What are your plans tonight?" He asked us. "Daryl is taking on the close so Tash and I were gonna head to Goblin Tom's wine bar, you wanna join?" Joel glanced at me and I shrugged.

"Yeah, that sounds fun." I smiled. Fun wasn't the perfect word- it also sounded full on and overwhelming. But it didn't not sound fun. I felt like widening the circle of faces I saw wasn't a bad thing. Joel took my hand and traced circles with his thumb. I leant my head on his shoulder.

"Oh fuck. I left my wallet at home." He groaned. "Too much to ask, Rubes?"

"Yeah, sure, baby." I squeezed his hand. Tom's face twitched a fraction- his eyes widening and his eyebrows raising. He scanned the two of us, but he hid it pretty well. "Better settle up this one anyway." I headed back to the till.

"Nope!" Tom tried to stop me. "No way! Not for you two."

"What, no!" Joel protested. "Dude we came to SUPPORT you!"

"You don't even have your wallet." Tom laughed. I reached the front of the line and the cashier smiled awkwardly at me, looking between me and her boss. He reached over and tapped the screen.

"There. It's gone." He said.

"Tom!" Joel chided him.

"When you open your place you can get me back." He smiled.

"We'll both be 90 by the time that happens." Joel sighed.

"Well, accounting for inflation, sounds like I'm getting one super expensive free meal."

"I hate you. I am so getting you back." Joel grumbled. "We'll head over to Tory Street, see you soon."

"Bye!" Tom grinned and waved us out the door. Joel paused and stretched as we stepped outside. I shivered in the sudden cold and he offered me his coat. I rolled my eyes. I took it though.

"Huh." He tapped his foot. "Tory Street."

"Yeah."

"Wanna bail?" He asked quietly. I sighed.

"No. Wellington is tiny. I'm gonna see him one day. And anyway, it's right down the other end. And... to be honest if I...did run into him- I'd... I'd rather you were with me." I put my hands in my pockets. "Sorry, that's pathetic."

"That's really brave." He said. "You're sure?"

"I'm sure."

"Alright" He smiled. "Let's go."

---- -----

"Howdy there, lads." Other Tom, Tom Fielding- commonly known as 'Gobin Tom' in hospo circles- looked up from the bar and beamed at us. "Join the party!" He gestured to the room, which was stacked with people I knew vaguely from their own restaurants and various wine trainings I'd done. "And a massive congrats to you both."

"Congrats?" Joel sat us down at the bar. "Why?"

"Felix awards noms are out, have you not checked?" Tom grinned. "You're in for a treat." I smiled at Joel. He was the incumbent for Outstanding chef. Felix awards are really more of a hospitality popularity competition in Wellington than an actual metric of talent- but they can really get your name out there. I'd never even been nominated, but Ponga was probably up for something: Lydia and Marty had a habit of opening award winning joints.

Joel got out his phone and I peered over his shoulder. Oh fuck. We were up for heaps. Maria for Barista, Joel for Outstanding Chef again- naturally, Outstanding Front of House team, Charlie for Emerging Chef, Outstanding Wine, Outstanding Ambiance, Outstanding Restaurant and...

"Look at you!" Joel grinned. I blinked and reread the finalists. Supreme Award- Individual. Rueben Valentini.

"Huh?" I stared at him.

"Told you." Tom grinned. "You guys have really done something special."

"It's the Whistler/Deans touch." Joel rolled his eyes. "Well, so they'd have you believe. Rubes! Congrats!"

"Well, you too!"

"What's are we drinking boys? It's one free for every nominee."

"No!" I laughed. "Tom, you need our money."

"Oh I'm just giving you a hit so you buy more." He laughed. "Beer?" He starting pouring Joel a pint before Joel even confirmed. "Oh, and the Emido Pepe for you Rueben."

"No, just the house red!" I protested quickly.

"Would you look at that?" Tom cracked the bottle before I could stop him. "This IS our house red!"

"Thank you." I mumbled, wincing as the $40 glass was placed in front of me.

"So. You." Tom glared at Joel. "Where have you been?! Used to see you here three times a week!"

"Yeah, you've been replaced by someone prettier." I heard Lara's voice shout over the crowd and I smiled at her in acknowledgment.

"Someone prettier?!" Tom guffawed. "Puh-lease." He grinned. "Who's the lovely lady?" He asked Joel. "We expecting her tonight?"

"Ah..." Joel smiled. He gestured to me with his thumb. "Word travels slow I guess."

"You..." Tom frowned as he looked between us. He shook his head. "Well. I'll be damned. That's beautiful. How did it happen? Rough night and you worked off the stress over the pass?"

"Something like that." Joel winked as I turned red.

"Alright. Fuck off with the other industry cunts for a bit while I serve the real customers." Tom waved us away.

We went to sit with the others, to endless congratulations. I knew most people, but Joel knew EVERYONE. I sat quietly, practicing being normal and rehearsing a quick introduction in my head in case anyone decided to try and talk to me.

"I've missed you!" Jules from Ortega nudged my shoulder. "We have Sophia working for us- you remember her?"

"Oh, of course." An old floor supervisor who was running their bar now. "She's good? How's her dancing?"

"Oh, she drives us crazy." Jules laughed. "Dashing off to rehearse shows every other week. Irreplaceable though. You really trained her well. I remember she applied for us years ago and her trial shift was a fucking mess. You find diamonds in the rough don't you?"

"You took on Georgie!" Andrew from Sirius leaned over. "We told her shape up or ship out- she shipped out, and we were served by her the other night- absolute class act! She said to my face you were the best manager she'd ever had, Rueben. Don't know how you do it."

"Oh George was in a rough place back then!" I laughed. "She's great, we're really lucky to have her."

The drinks kept coming- I tried to keep up with the tab but I still felt like Tom was being overly generous. Maybe if I ever had my own place I would be the same though. Trickles of people from various venues came and went. Joel was having a great time- joking with everyone, cajoling them into rounds of 'for he's a jolly good fellow'. I'd never seen him in his element like this. It was starting to feel a bit weird. I felt like maybe I'd been holding him back.

"Slipping out for a dart." I whispered into his ear.

"Join you in a sec." He kissed my neck casually as I headed out. I heard a few hollers, and I heard him shutting everyone up, and then I heard nothing as the door clanged behind me and I stepped outside to take a deep breath.

I'd been practicing not falling down a mental doom spiral, so I sat down and stared at the street. Instead of letting the thought that Joel turned out to be the world's most social butterfly and he was probably so bored with just seeing my stupid face everyday... I caught it. That's insecurity. I told myself. Hi insecurity. Can't say it's nice to see you again. I stared out onto the street, watching the cars and the people.

I heard it first. Not something I'd ever actively paid attention to, but I guess I knew it. AJ's footsteps. His clacky expensive shoes. They were echoing on the concrete in the quiet of the late night. I glanced up.

He was across the street; illuminated by the dairy next to him, glowing faintly green from the neon signs. I couldn't really make out his face. Just his silhouette. Everything suddenly felt very tense. He paused. He stepped into the light of a street lamp and our eyes met.

I didn't have time to read him because the door behind me opened and a crowd of people spilled out beside me, bringing warmth and jollity. They crowded around me, talking about wine and food and people. Joel was there and his arm was around me. I blinked. I looked up. He was gone.