All Comments on 'Know Thy Self, know Thy Enemy'

Good one, a bit unclear to me as to how long after Jim was released did Pratt die.. Maybe should read it again some day.

Utterly fantastic story! Not only did the cheaters get theirs but with one gone now the hubby can concentrate on his ex-wife. I'm glad this is a fiction because there are several things a person could use in Jim Scott's case if they were in that situation. ahhh, as they say: "LET THE GAMES BEGIN!!!" lol

Despite what someone commented, Jim was NEVER "psychotic." His grasp on reality was never impaired at all, thus the word "psychotic" never fit.

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That his actions once he CORRECTLY assessed what that reality was might be different that what others think might be called atavistic in the societal sense (a throwback to an earlier time). Actions that persisted for millenia, until Code Duello replaced vendetta, and then the advent in the 18th century of the "police force" as a profession (other than tax-collector).

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And as we drift away from a shared moral structure, and our multi-tiered system of "justice" continue to fracture, I expect to see Code Duello, or Vendetta to return. Sadly, there is far too much historical narcissism today, thinking that because "it's been that way all my life" must mean "that's how it's always been."

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The modern western civilization (which more people should seriously study) was built on shared values and high trust, enforced as needed by a corresponding legal system fairly applied. That in some (most?) places, the marriage contract has become one of the few contracts that the courts refuse to enforce is to the detriment of marriage. Jim's actions were quite simple: Steal and pay the consequences. While there are many things one could call that philosophy, "psychotic" does not fit.

Thanks for an excellent look into an alternate viewpoint.

In my view Dan bought trouble - but - there were other ways for him to get it, and without Jim earning a jail sentence. Jim has the money, a few thou in the right places could buy Danny boy a future with zero gonads and wouldn't that be enjoyable to Scotty - if not Dan and Kate ......

I'm worried about the morality of my actions, not the legality.

Oliver Wendell Homes said that This is a court of law and not a court of Justice.

Justice has no place in our courts. That has to change and it's not going to change by electing attorneys to political office.

Holly crap that’s one bad ass dude. Luckily he is in the marshal islands

Anonymous from 7 months ago (code duello mentioned) is on point. Society’s legal system doesn’t appear to value the institution of marriage, infidelity to the ‘contract’ is of no import in a no fault world.

Where does the male go for redress / legal remedy where a predatory seducer of married women has fouled his marriage? Yes the wife was co-responsible, but the Dan character was a determined seducer - with a smirk! What remedy was there for Jim for the wilful damage done to him .. it was emotional as opposed to a financial loss so no ‘civil’ law damages remedy exists (on the face of it .. but the financial consequences would have followed in the ordinary course of a divorce, maintenance/alimony even absent kids, but that wouldn’t be Dan’s liability or actionable against him) alienation of affection suits are judicially worthless even where they are still permitted. What Dan did was not a criminal offence so there are no remedies there.

So what’re the options .. walk away, turn the other cheek? .. even where the smirking shyster has turned up to attempt to publicly humiliate you at your company event … grrrrrr, .. meekly accept such provocations without response? .. nope not happening; beat the sleazy bugger senseless? .. aye, that’s the old fashioned way, and none would have said Dan’s conduct didn’t bloody merit it (until recently!).

5* … Jim

Great story and the revenge that just keeps on giving. I was satisfied with the way things turned out with the exception of the very last part. Kate didn't get off scot-free, she lost all her personal items, her money and lost her lover. Guless that's not enough to satisfy her ex though. I bet she wet her panties when she read that card lol.

In Early Modern English, THY is to THINE as A is to AN.

Very good story. With a deep message.

A study in contrasts between a man who was PERFECTLY honest (perhaps on the spectrum) and a civilization that is not any longer (if it ever was). Jim Scott kept his word at great personal price. His wife did not. And the culture he was in is dishonest, in that the marriage "contract" is a contract no longer. Predation and breach of contract are not punished by the legal system.

To pick a nit with the prior Anon - Jim Scott was ***not*** "psychotic" in any way. Psychosis (which a person identified as psychotic is affected by) is the difficulty or inability to identify reality. Jim Scott perfectly identified objective reality in many, many ways. He correctly identified Pratt as a sexual predator. Jim Scott correctly identified his wife as Pratt's target. Jim Scott correctly identified Pratt as Scott's enemy. Jim Scott correctly identified that the legal system was not on his side.

So he took what are, TODAY, extralegal actions , to whit retaliation, to end the affair. And he even warned Pratt that involving the legal system would result in further retaliation. While in jail, Jim Scott never denied his actions. As such, his grasp of reality was unwavering.

That Jim Scott's behavior was atavistic was never indicative of a psychosis. In many thousands of years of history, his behavior would be perfectly acceptable. Code Duello persisted for a very long time precisely because in the absence of police forces, it was far more functional than families feuding for decades. And with the breakdown of integrity and the end of "shame" as a behavioral control -- to say nothing of various perversions in the so-called "legal" system that actively rewards or dismisses misbehavior -- code duello is likely to return. The problem with the loss of "justice" in the system is that people begin to create their own forms of justice -- thus the lesson.

Really enjoyed it. Not so much for the specific actions Jim Scott took than for his steadfastness and honesty. Thank you.

The writing's quite good, covers Writers' Workshop criteria very well.

Any way you look at it, though, the creativity of the plotline rests upon one singular fact--Jim Scott was a psychotic personality whose judgement had gone from "impaired" (as he learned of his wife's affair)--to essentially non-existent by the time of his physical attack upon his wife's lover (Dan). The recitation of events from start to finish lacked any sense of drama--and eroticism was totally missing. I'm reminded of the monologues of Sgt. Joe Friday of the old TV series Dragnet-; this story was about as interesting as reading a recipe out of a Betty Crocker cookbook.

But hey! You wrote the recipe with competence. So keep writing.

MLJ

Jim has a way of making a point.

That's the way to do it 5*****

Story that is so realistic its scary. Jim beat Dan he went prison for it. Dan got shot dead and with no evidence Jim cant be put away. Dan got what he deserved but Kate needs a harsh lesson too. Extreme revenge for Extreme betrayal.

Very Enjoyable Very Realistic Read . 5/5

Ahh … fantasies are great diversions from the reality of life. Grudges and revenge are undervalued in society today.

Very enjoyable read . 5/5

Good story. Revenge is getting extreme though

One of the top 3 BTB stories I have ever read here. Bravo!!! Love Jim reignite her fear when she's started to feel safe again.

This is one of my new favorite stories!

5 stars-great story!

Good

Covered shit society does to faithful spouse.

Etc etc

Amazing BTB, great story, awesome writing!

Loved the dialog with the police. Classic.

Great story line. Well done. Keep writing.

XYZ

I wonder how many postcards he'll have to send, before she takes Dan's cowardly cue?

A near perfect summary of the legal, justice, and penal system in our country as related to infidelity and it's ramifications.

There ought to always be a cost imposed for taking the fruit from another man's garden... Fuck Dan Pratt.

Excellent story, dark but well worth the read⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Some levels of disrespect deserve death. Some even deserve a long and painful one.

Too many unanswered questions. I’m not sure if the story is finished or not. Should I be looking for chapter 2?

2nd read and an obvious so obvious stupidly missed fact at the onset of this story. What was the GSR measurement on Dan's shooting hand/hands? The gun was wiped only one set of prints - no gun ownership disclosed. But routine for probable suicide is shooting had GSR or not making it murder. This is so fundamental to any shooting investigation but not in this story making a trumped up drama.

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As far as Jim Scott, salutes for him. His Ex does deserve more crap for the blatant disrespect, humiliation, and contempt she threw in Jim's face.

/

was a 4* but now 3* due to above, Hooyah....

Plot holes

One for the trolls.

I'm still right at the start of the story but there is already evidence that Pratt's death was not suicide. Any good detective could tell immediately that the bullet trajectory from front-right temple to below and forward of the left ear is much more in keeping with right-handed person standing next to the deceased at the time of death (and I'm assuming the deceased was already sitting, which is why they found him slumped over his desk). The standing person would be shooting slightly downwards which would be the natural position, whereas a suicide would normally have the bullet trajectory going from either almost horizontally to any angle upwards.

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Give it a try - imagine a gun in your right hand and then position your hand so that the trajectory matches the one in Pratt's death, and you will find the position very unnatural and a little awkward. Hell, I'm starting to sound like those gun folk who love going into detail about how a story sucks because the weapon description is wrong, or the bullet size doesn't match the gun, etc. Sorry, will try harder next time.

Majuro is a shit hole. Truly. But it's about as far away as you can get from wherever you are.

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GREAT story!!!

Nice story, I imagine if any of the RAAC cucky boys read this, they'd be in the fetal position afterwards...

I would really like to know, if the lover killed himself. Was he really the coward and killed himself?

How reacted her friends and family to her disrespect and affair?

Did she ever feel sorry for it or take any responsibility?

the wife clearly had no respect for the hubby, and what kind of person was she to let the lover goad the hubby in his own house. that is clearly disrespectful and deserves all the punishment coming.

ten stars... really enjoyed the story.

Simple! You want to play, you have to pay!

What did the asshole expect when called the guy Jimmie? Too bad he couldn't back up his mouth and let the guy kick his ass. And the wife? What piece of work - of course she deserved the right to fuck the asshole right?

Not a lot of Sympathy for a slut wife .. I had a really good Slut wife . ?? ..No one wants or needs a Slut for a wife

Prison reform is sorely needed in this country.

In a story like this one?

"The husband beat him up and I for one don't blame him."

"She didn't have a lot of spare money or time these days and seemed tired all of the time."

Not a lot of sympathy here and certainly no empathy for a woman who self described all of the material things that were the only things important to her that were missing when she walked through the house four days after the beating.

A shame there was no follow up story, seems he didn't keep that promise but maybe it was just a threat that he really didn't plan to keep.

Signed: BTW

I guess Pratt wasn't as smart as he thought

This is a good one. From beating the lover, to probably killing him, this was a great story. The post card will given the bitch something to think about.

Very cool and intensely enjoyable. I could have enjoyed a little more 'grief' being doled out to Kate. It may have been fun for James to secretly find his way back and terrify his wife into insanity, NO! I don't like cheating wives, or husbands for that matter! I share the opinion in the comment by "26thNC" Great Story and a refreshingly unusual viewpoint to enjoy it from. Thank You 5*****

Still in the top ten best revenge on cheaters stories ever in LW. Time to come back for Kate.

This is a great story! Maybe you you moved somewhere else, I would enjoy more of your stories, of that I am sure.

Please let us honor you more by commenting on your future great stories.

detroitdave

Cheaters caught and punishment and gets to keep it all

She loved that HE loved her; She loved the money HE made and she really loved that he couldn't have CHILDREN. What a monster! -And it took 14 years for Jim to catch on?! It's a pity Dan the asshole was snuffed out. He needed to spend a few years looking over his shoulder, now that Jim was out. Kate the entitled, delusional bitch, needed more grief! Good story. 5*s.

there DEFINATELY has to be a sequel! even after all these years ;0)

while jim seems like a sociopath, he's worse.

sociopaths are impulsive, usually struggle with the daily grind. jim is none of those things. he's donned the mask of a sociopath, but shares none of their tell-tale weaknesses. he is a broken man though.

the wife, however, displays some tells of being either a sociopath, or possessing a personality disorder. i'd never diagnose someone. i only have undergrad education into half a dozen or so psych classes. and even if i possessed a full fledged degree, i'd only tentatively diagnose someone after spending inordinate amounts of time with them one-on-one. that being said, it's FUN to armchair diagnose people, especially fictional. so she may actually be a sociopath, her lover has inadequacy issues, and the husband has severe anger issues that came naturally from a trauma. that's my two cents.

One.if my favorite LW revenge on the lovers stories. Wish TCct would come back and write chapter two.

I believe it says more about our legal system and it's continued attack on morals and family values. With no fault divorce being a laugh, and the division of the family generally is in favor of the women the men are just a casualty of the legal system. With more then 50 percent of marriages ending up in divorce and more then 70 percent instigated by women it's no wonder the traditional family is on life support.

No doubt, the greatest I've ever read. I'd love to read a second chapter describing the cheating slut discovering Jim patiently waiting to snuff out her worthless life. Wouldn't have to be any time soon either. Maybe after the postcard wait another 5 years or so to allow her to maybe take the same route out as her asshole lover.

are you a jackass or a pussy. If you can read a womans mind/future and know if she'll be faithful or a cunt, set up shop and help men out. He got what he deserved, BS. fucking females are in general, evil, narcissistic ,lying, manipulating cunts and damn good actors. Stab you in the back so skillfully you dont know it till the 1st cough of blood. dipshithole

He got what he deserved. So did Dan. She didn't, yet.

Violence, humor, revenge...what's not to like?

Great story of a man who would not be cuckolded or belittled. Beat and scared the crap out of cheating wife's lover. Did he kill him? I think Dan was terrified and killed himself, but Jim killed him as if he pulled the trigger. Wife lost everything she valued, and now won't get another good nights sleep. She will look over her shoulder for the rest of her, hopefully short, life. Ita semper adultors . Chapter two please.

I know this is fiction...Ah, but if it were real. We should take up a collection, a little cash from all the guys in the DFW metromess. Then have a bronze likeness of “Jim” cast. Erect that sucker in Dealy Plaza so every cheating whore who passes through downtown Dallas, and trust me, there’s a lot of them, would see it. Maybe it would give them an idea of what was coming when they get caught. And I said “when”, not “if”.

Sequal for the Paul Harvey part?

Some man with real balls

well done.

Especially for the snappy tempo, reminiscent of "the Birtday Party"

Depressing is your misread of story.

He beat a male, but did not kill him

He spent 3 not 6 years in prison.

Certanly for one such as yourself the, as you so eloquently put it, the butt fucks would come early and often. Telling that your mind would go there-wish fulfillment perhaps.

For Mr. Scott unlikely. He comes into the prison atmosphere known as violent unstable man. His ''crime'' would most likely generate respect and admiration amongst the prison population. He has visciously beat a simpering lothario, proudly admits it, swears to do it again only worse. He would actually be given celebrity status and most certainly be protected from your butt fuck buddies.

His coming out of prison in good health with his front teeth gives lie to your prediction.

Meanwhile he has over a million dollars to entice the dusky island beauties to eagerly present their rounded rumps for his inspection.

Though I have doubts he would engage in anal sex. Why anyone would dirty their dick in that hole and eliminate the pleasure of being orally cleaned apre sex is beyond me.

For all the hoorah and mystique anal sex is about degradation and subjugation and humiliation of the female...lube it up all you want anal sex is poor substitute for the pleasures of the vagina or mouth...unless you have latent homosexual tendencies.

An amazing story. A man of his word. Since its clear our justice system has no justice for wronged husbands it's nice to see a man take it. Yes he was damaged but such are the way these things go. Maybe he'll heal but in the meantime I want to read him settling the score with the wife.

More sir. *****

is so much worse than the actual occurrence if it does ever, TK U MLJ LV NV

This isn't considered a victory for the protagonist, is it? I mean, he lost his wife, killed a guy, spent six years in prison (where buttfucks come early and often) and lost his life and soul. It's pretty depressing when really look at it.

Winning would be something like having the cheaters exposed in a damaging-to-them but benign to him episode, wouldn't it? You know, like being caught choking on his small [or big, whatever your fancy] dick while being ohmibodded unmercifully during an afternoon tryst as their timesheets claimed to be teleworking for the government contract they illegally won.

This is just a tantrum being thrown by someone 'in the spectrum'. He seems to be utterly devoid of humanity, like a robot programmed to feel and act a certain way.

I would give this story 10 stars if it was possible. Absolutely fantastic.

Very good story. Just needs a “Part 2” to let us know how he eventually settles with the cheating ex wife. D

I wouldn't worry about any comments from the TheUnoriginalist. I just read his two stories and they were crap. He isn't a good enough writer to make comments on this great story.

Liked the way the story is told. Different from Most. in most they go through the wife telling hubby it is what it is and I will clean you .in this Case Dan(asshole) gets cleaned. Then Wifey comes home to reclaim her Designer Clothes, Jewlery, Shoe's Nothing said about bf's Condition. or Hubby's thinking all about her. Then hubby gets out and sends her a card from the Marshall Islands. Maybe a good man is Lost but Maybe with out her Around he can find himself again.

Another great one from TCct.

Some might say we need to know how Dan died.

Me I just don't care ;).

The postcard was a wonderful finish:

"Wish you were here......dead".

Thanks again pal, for the pleasure you give us readers!

Cheating slut wives are never appreciated. One who disrespect, ignores and humiliates a loving husband take it to a whole new level. Hopefully you comeback with a sequel detailing Jim's distant terror tactics that lead to her taking her own life.

I have to admit the beating was delicious but short on details. And perhaps some of Jim's friends could have put a beat down on the asshole while he was in prison to set Dan's mind on the really big one to come when Jim got out and was able to provide something more substantial.

You are one of the few LW authors who has a real manly man husband. Write On!!!!

5 stars again! Still have a couple of your stories left to read - time for you to get busy writing some more! :^)

The wife in this one was a complete, cold-blooded, cast iron bitch. That wasn't made clear at the beginning, it was interesting the way the information was parceled out a bit at a time. Loved it. Thanks!

. . . I like this guy, and the writer. No nonsense. Good, clear writing.

I have now read all of your submissions. I really like your uncompromising attitude. It is refreshing compared to some of the other authors on this site that have no respect for the men in their stories. I can accept the RAAC stories under certain circumstances such as young children in the house. Your stories have adult children which releases that concern and allows the men to react directly to the wife's betrayal which is usually unforgiveable. Thanks and if you decide to write again, I will read.

I live in Texas and they do have constables.

Exposed on Facebook profile of dearbornmt@yahoo.com. She lost her college instructor in Helena Montana job because of info on Facebook. When instructor fucks student coercion is implied at the very least. Harassment seminars deal only with female as victim and a male instructor making overt threats to female will be found guilty of coercion. Same rules should apply to females. Truth is the female being the predator has never even been mentioned in the yearly seminars that take place. Females in positions of power take advantage of society's blindspot. So take a 50ish instructor, wife and grandmother who is respected and described as refined and a younger male construction worker forced into a Vocational Rehab program at the college and no one would believe the female instructor would do anything inappropriate, but all would readily prescribe to the view that construction workers are all knuckle dragging stalkers.

Thus when the student and instructor are seen having numerous conversations outside the classroom the rumormill cranks up and gossip about the student ''BOTHERING'' the instructor become open and wide-spread. Slanderous comments are made about his character by administrators who have never met him. Take into account that the female instructor was the one chasing if not stalking the student but she was the one asked if she was being bothered. Not one person asked the student if he was being harassed. He pled with her to stop she didn't. In the end she threatened to accuse him of assaulting her unless he did what he was told.

He gave in situation got worse. Talk got back to his wife. She moved out with his sons. He graduated she took up with number of other men. Had inappropriate relationship with another student. First student got contract job. Rumors found way to his employer. Contract was not renewed.

He finally told the one friend he had left what happened. Showed emails and photos. That friend set up profile.

a guys head between her legs. I put a 380 to his head and threw him into the front yard naked... then I thought about it- he was just a drunk with a hard on, so I threw his clothes outside. I told her she wasn't worth shooting and threw the gun under the bed. No, she was not sorry and for some reason it was my fault. A years alcohol therapy didn't help but put enough time between the incident and my future to allow me to not give a shit. I do blame myself .. for having her in my life at all. I'm not sure what I would have done if I could have gotten away with it but I liked this story. Scotty

but still a great story. *****

Great story! I read a lot about how the offending spouse is a two dimensional, awful person, who deserves all the hate and retribution or death only. Well having been through it myself that's exactly what it does to you. When infidelity happens all the good is washed away and the selfish nature of the offending spouse is revealed making them a two dimensional person. From my perspective all I saw was the crap of the previous dozen years that had been white washed and rationalized away. When the pain comes it skews everything about yourself and your spouse. It may seem trite in these tales but it's been my very painful, accurate experience. Not all of us go to jail but we definitely come out of it much worse for wear. Do we stay there? Depends on the person, but this story encapsulates the process very exacting and in my opinion very truthfully. Now the parts of dealing with the law and his ex may be fantasy but still very well done. Well done and more please

Divorce is big business to those bloodthirsty cock suckers. Elected (crooked) legislators have passed laws that defy any sense of logic in order to distort and stymie all fairness when what's already happened has torn the heart out of the principle who has come to the court seeking justice. More people should take exceedingly harsh action against their cheating spouse and then challenge the legal system for not providing a fair alternative. Make your own justice until the corruption in the justice system has been totally exposed and rectified.

Personally, I got VERY lucky in a child custody court hearing. The Judge must have been burned at some point or else he actually READ all the documentation of what my ex-bitch had done... ignoring court orders for visitation, etc. The only thing he was going to do was increase my seemingly very low child support payments. I sensed what he was about to do and cut him short, asking him to read my two page hand written synopsis of the actual situation that I'd brought into the court room with me. (I'd written it the night before our hearing, just to have the information straight in my head, in case I was asked the questions... which I wasn't.) He stopped talking and told me to take the stand and read the pages into the record myself. When I was finished, he left the support payments where they were and gave her a severe warning that if she ever again tore up a court order in front of the kids, telling them that no Judge would put the mother of three kids in jail, she would go straight to jail for six months, MINIMUM. "THOSE CHILDREN WILL BE THERE WHEN THEIR FATHER COMES TO PICK THEM UP FOR VISITATION. AM I MAKING MYSELF CLEAR TO YOU, YOUNG WOMAN??"

In a mouse whisper, she answered, "Yes sir."

He loudly asked her what she said and she answered a little louder. He said, "See to it that you do or you WILL be a guest of the County and I promise that you'll spend every day of the six months in custody. There's no reason why those kids can't have the best of both worlds and not be subjected to the petty crap that you've been pulling. That all ends today or you'll live to regret it."

There was a bit more but that was the end of the hearing and that fucking cunt never disappeared with the kids again.

I was in a discussion earlier today and was informed that Texas may be the only state whereby a husband will not be in any legal difficulty if, upon finding his wife and another man actively engaged in an affair, severely (or even critically) beats the interloper. I don't care how you feel about it, I am in total support of this premise. I personally would have no trouble putting the man who breaks into my marriage into the emergency room of the closest hospital...or better yet, the morgue! A well-deserved 5-star rating.

Go git her good!!!

An ordinarily nice, calm man is pushed and pushed and makes restitution. He paid his debt to Texas and fixed both his wife and her BF with just what they needed. He should just keep track of his ex-wife and just leave her alone as long as she stays poor and miserable. Her lover deserved just what he got and more. Good job, TCct. Thank you for writing.

I get the need for justice, for retribution. The only trouble is that in the end, it is not worth it. In this case, she was not worth it. He would have been better off following his original plan. If he could not have kids, he should have found some kids that needed a father and a woman that wanted a decent husband. Jail is a waste of time. His wife and her lover were shitty people, their punishment is having to be them, having to live with themselves, and the results of their sins.

That's the way. GREAT read.

And funny, too.

"Mr. Scott may we ask you a few questions regarding the death of Dan Pratt?"

"Okay, what do you want to know?"

"May we come in?"

"Sure. Come on in. Would you like a donut or something?"

5*

Marshall islands?! Foreals! Man i was born there and yes it is beautiful place to be. Good choice of place.

Society has forgiven the man who breaks the Ninth Commandment - Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife. The United States Government would not have as large of a national debt if more husbands and wives would celebrate their golden 50th anniversary.

A little old Testament justice for the SOB that seduces a wife might be good for our society.

Nice read -

Thank you for writing this for Store for me/us.

I was going to give your store 4, after reading that last line I gave it a 5.

interesting & intriguing story

engaging & enjoyable read.

.........

not all anon posters/commentators are like the previous one

You say:

"Besides which, $ 1.2 M would not be enough to live comfortably for a lifetime anywhere in the world."

There are many places in the world where $1000 a month is enough to live like a king, which means $1,200,000 is enough for at least 100 years.

I am not a author. Can not tell a story well. Have horrible typing skills and will not talk about my incredibly bad hand-writing. BUT I do know what I enjoy reading. Keeping in mind that I my wife and I read for enjoyment and entertainment , We enjoyed this little tale. I have murdered my ex-wife and her lover in a million ways over the years since my divorce but only in fantasy daydreams. And before you ask Most people refer to me as a "teddy-bear". However this being sais the author is correct, Everyone has their Breaking point. Enough said--Thanks for sharing your tale, we enjoyed the fantasy.

Lots of fascinating dialog with an old storyline but a new take. The truth is that our interactions bring out aspects of our being that we would not have ever known without this stimulus. My thanks to the author.

from start to finish syfy bs.You should have just made the main character a Super Ninja, Special Forces, Ex Ultra Spy, Elite Hacker and it would have been a better story.

I'd like to say at least it was better then all the Cuck stories on here lately ...... but I can't (at least not with a straight face)

Next time out spend a little more time developing the story.

There are likely several thousand constables in Texas. Here is little of what the Bexar County (San Antonio) website offers:

"In Texas, the Constable was the first form of civilian law enforcement established, and rapidly replaced the Spanish style military policing organization, beginning with the appointment of Constables in the Austin colonies as early as 1823, thereby pre-dating even the Texas Rangers, the nation’s first state-wide police force. Each of Texas’ Constitutions has divided every county into Justice Precincts with a judge to assure justice at the local level and a Constable to serve that judge by executing all civil process, taking custody of property as directed by the court, and, protecting it until its rightful owner can claim it, taking into custody criminals on outstanding arrest warrants, investigating crimes, gathering evidence and arresting criminals of all sorts within, (and frequently beyond the physical limits of) the precinct."

With Google search now available, it is easy to check out the facts.

rest of the story was silly