All Comments on 'Lactating Milf Impregnated'

There aren't enough words to tell you how badly this was written and how awful the characters and their actions were.

No stars as even giving this garbage one star would be an insult to the star.

Appalling construction , poor premise and totally unbelievable.

ANOTHER WHORE WIFE HOPE SHE GETS STD AND AIDS POOR HUBBY

GET A LIFE

There are serious problems with this piece. This is constructive criticism, designed to help you. An editor would pick these things up (as well as all the word errors!) Please settle on a Point Of View. (POV) You switch around from Annie to Tim plus comments from others that could not be ascertained from the main POV. Plus, you make Annie refer to herself in the third person which doesn't make sense. Cheers and good luck. .

She refers to herself in first person? Remember seinfeld "Jimmy don't do that".

Just a few drinks and she wants a gang bang unprotected. Really nice wife to have. NOT.

You shift the point of view, you get confused between hers and his, this really needs proofreading

Is there a part 2 where her husband throws her out?

Smart enough to just vanish, give up her child and husband and move ti Tiajuana and get a room with a dog and pony.

so when she gets home her husband will toss the stupid slut to the curb can't put up with that shit

I'd love to have my wife gang banged like this and impregnated by black men.

My biggest fantasy is my wife giving birth to a black baby and everyone knowing I'm a little penis sissy cuckold.

Annie know that Annie slurred her words when Annie told part of the answer, saying, "Well, Annie usually have the baby to keep me drained, and at other times Annie use her electric, double breast pump."

That is one incomprehensible sentence.

Who's fucking her a male or female (Her cock?)

But here and there your heroine was described in the first person (he sucked on "my" breast, not "hers" or "Annie's"). Be more careful, because this fantasy can generate lovely variant realities!

Tense errors, POV errors and it's confusing having Tom and Tim.

Please get an editor to help you, because you have some good ideas but you need help to get them sorted out.

This has been the one of the worst written stories ever. I'm guessing the writer just learned english or is 7 years old?

[Her latest gig was scouting models for a modeling agency who used models for advertising products.

"Annie am a married mother, there is no way Annie will stand a chance at modeling."]

Nice premise but please get an editor. Also need a follow up story

"As she walked into the set, she was handed a strong cocktail - and the drinks kept coming"...This means she was raped, so this is pure garbage, because no mother breast feeding would drink alcoholic beverages, much less strong ones...1* (where are the negative ratings when we need them?)

Editing !!

Did you not read it over after you wrote it? Get in the habit of reading it out loud or having someone else read it out loud to you before you post it. Really abominable writing!

Get an editor or at least someone else to read over your stories first. This reads like English isn't your first language; an editor can really help you out if this is the case.

Is this story edited? I couldn't get the links between certain sentences.

Generally speaking, reading a Literotica story shouldn't feel like work. Reading this was Fucking Torture! After wading through this garbage, it just stopped, which I suppose was a mercy at least. If you plan on submitting more stories, please get an editor, but, speaking for myself, i won't be back unless it's by accident. Just not worth the effort. Absolutely NO redeeming qualities.

That’s as far as I got.

These Dumbass Morons Complaining about this or that missing the whole point of a. Very Beautiful and Desirable woman losing Control given the right circumstances. How many Complainers here ever convinced THEIR Fertile wife to show her Breasts to several Blackmen as they were leaving to only have them turn around and fuck this young wife over and over for hours. Well I have and I took pictures.

It seem you started to write the story in the first person (I, me, mine etc), changed your mind and wanted to change it into the third person (Annie, she, her etc) and did an automatic replace. But in that way a lot of incorrect changes were made like in dialog and thought lines were I, me etc should remain. The stupid thing is that you or your editor did not even proof read it and corrected it before submitting the story. Bad work.

Might have been a good story, but I couldn't get past the first few paragraphs.

When one reads "These Complainers are Jerks!" the inference is that this emanates from something which has the IQ of a freezer.

Just a description , no abuse!

Complete confusion of names, pronouns and referents.

Especially Annie for "I".

1*

Olfrog14x

The good idea was impossible to enjoy

From you bio, I note that you like kinky, and yoru are female. I speculate that you are young and have never delivered a child.

While not impossible, it is most unusual to get pregnant three months after a child's delivery, even more so when the woman is still lactating. Also, lactation by a woman who has recently given birth tends to delay the re-onset of menstration; and if so in this case, how can Susie (or whomever) tell when her fertile period is [which is normally around two weeks after the last menstral period].

Also, the drinking to near intoxication by a lactating woman has also been mentioned.

Those thoughts above gave rise to my speculation that you have never delivered a child or nursed a newborn.

Rewriting to some point around a year after birth, while she is trying (not real successfully) to wean the baby, would make the willing suspension of disbelief easier in the reader's view.

The errors in person, personal pronoun referents, sentence construction, etc, etc, have already been mentioned. To the various suggestions of proof-reading, getting an editor, reading aloud; I would suggest that once you finish your story, you put it aside for two or three days and not read it until that time is over. Then proof-read, read it aloud, or use an editor at that point.

Please keep writing and workng to refine your work.

Female who have recently started writing in this male dominated website, get higher scores from me.

Who cares if a woman can't get pregnant, it's a Erotic story for crying out loud. I also loved your other story about Emily. In my opinion you have great potential. Looking forward to your next story.

She cannot be impregnated. A mother who is lactating and has 3 month old child has little chance of impregnation. You can't suspend the disbelief of your reader if you're basing the fiction on wrong facts. A good lie is always fabricated from good facts.

Keep writing. The eroticism is there but not good enough to convince a nitpicker

I would not have thought it possible to write in the 1st person, 2nd person, 3rd person all in the same sentence!

You proved me wrong.

She, he, him, her...........every sentence changed tenses....even genders. This is ridiculous.....

And the descriptions of the men's penis' 9", 10", and 8". Do we need this much exaggeration? Won't the "normal" 6" be adequate?

Oh well, learning to write will be a major improvement.

how is it not possible to get pregnant within 3 months after birth?My ant has 3 times 2 children that are born in the same year

All that is left is the divorce.

The story was terrible for many reasons. The constant changing of first person, second person, third person, he, she, him, her; and he is the one getting it done to her, and he is now the one doing things, the men were nice and polite, and then once they started molesting her they became instantly rude and calling her names and threatening her saying she deserved it for being such a slut. And a cock does not shift a uterus anywhere. It doesn’t Open up a cervix like some stories say, and it doesn’t move the organs inside a woman’s body. This needed more than an editor. It needs a complete rewrite to be coherent and make sense.

Very poorly written. Its to hard to follow jumping between first, second, and third person.

It is not possible to be any farther from a LW story as this one is.

This stupid sh*t read like it was written by an illiterate 5th grader. But, I give it a solid 1.

Agreed, horribly written, but the premise - knocking up a lactating drunk woman - was hot. Since the baby was only three months old, her body wouldn't be recovered from giving birth, so I would like to see it re-written with more emphasis on her stretchmarks and the excess skin of her belly. Gonna give this a 5 star rating anyway.

Was this written by an illiterate, 4 year old immigrant? The worst grammar I have had the displeasure of trying to read

Saying As a man, she ike it . think its a good story. If possible they say that in the future all of the he should get the pussy checked for vd. When she was balls deep was hot for story. He was in him all the 3 holes.?

Keep it going......its a good start to na continuing story. Mary tells her she spoke with the camera crew and the pictures sold where great and they want to try for another shoot. One thing leads to another and Annie is gangbanged by 6 crew members for a memorable photo shoot.

I thought the story was great. I was able to easily correct any English issues while reading and thoroughly enjoyed the story and your effort to write - very hot story. Keep writing and forget the critics who don’t appreciate your effort. I appreciated it!

excellent story, need to be a bit better written, keep going you could have a definite multi chapter story especially if she goes whoring or gets into porn industry

keep going with this one, I think they all should take turns getting her pregnant and do a little porn while they're at it??

Well, this is one of the visual stories, good job!!!!

The story is hot, but the poor writing makes it hard to follow. You can never tell who is saying what, thinking what, etc. there are two instances where it reads “her cock” - WTF? Clearly the author never proof read this story before submitting it.