All Comments on 'Lake Story Pt. 03'

Another amazing submission - I’m hot and bothered - I wanna be there too!i wish I could find something as complete as this...💋

Great story !.. I have been bi for close to 10 years now but I have only done oral and some ass play. Your description of him getting fucked for the first time is exactly what's in my head and in my desire, thanks and I can't wait for the next episode.

"our bound with each other grew"

Perhaps you meant "bond"?

" before our next breathes our lips met"

Perhaps you meant "breaths"?

"Her tongue worked it's way into my mouth"

Perhaps you meant "its"

"the feeling was mutual between us all"

"mutual" means "between us all". "The feeling was mutual" would have been fine.

"I pause as I'm trying to find the courage for my next swords"

Swords?

and many more. Get an editor.

This is a really great story, but the errors distract from its impact. I recommend that you reach to an editor on the boards. Word won't catch the syntax problems for you.

When will part 4 happen?

Part 4?

Loved the evening so far... looking forward to the next chapter, whenever you find the inspiration :-)