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All Comments on 'Lake Trip - Hottest Day of the Year'

by IOthemoon

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  • 2 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousover 7 years ago
Emily?

Couldn't finish because you said Emily instead of Olivia and some typos threw me off. Get an editor and could be better. Nice writing.

AnonymousAnonymousover 7 years ago
Name change

You may want to change Emily to Olivia in that one paragraph.

Might flow better if the same name is used through the whole story.

Anonymous
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