by Manzi
... but I really wanted a whole lot more of a sexual reward for the characters. The only way I can think of is to go into a lot more detail on the sexual experience, the passion, Mary's feelings on being taken with force, and both of them reveling in their pleasure and the fulfillment of their needs. Condensing their sex down from a very memorable couple of hours to just one paragraph is kind of a let-down. It's erotica - show us the sex matters to the characters, so it can matter to us, by getting us all turned on like they are.
For some reason the nursery rhythm Mary Had A Little Lamb comes to mind. Ha! But in this case the wolf was dommed and eaten literally (her pussy was). Cute. Made me smile
Excellent!! I went back to read chapter 1 before reading your recently posted chapter 2 and I'm glad I did. It's given me insight into the main character(s) and why the story's called Lamb and Wolf. Ooh, now on to part 2, I can't wait.
To be sure, it wasn't a long romance detailing the ups and downs of a relationship (unfortunately), but it was a fun story showing Mary's character.
It would be great if it were expanded into a longer story, developing her relationship with Josie, solving the mystery of the cars, and perhaps populating the apartment across the street. But I enjoyed her unique and well defined character.
Criticism or praise, I'm always happy to read anything that could make me better at what I do. Even a comment like "boring..." has some value. What makes it boring? Was the pacing bad, was the prose not erotic enough or maybe it just wasn't a story that fit your interest? I try to avoid explicit words and terms to allow the reader to imagine it but I'm far from perfect. I'm working on it. ;)
And that's the smartest criticism they could come up with?Why did they even bother to stick around to comment?
M, in my opinion you have written a smartly developing Loving Wives story. Good quality writing, an interesting pair of characters, fast-paced erotica and adult conversation.
I look forward to future chapters. To see how you develop the storyline and reveal the character of your characters.