Last Chance at Forever Love Ch. 08

"I love dogs," she said smiling and giving both Blondie and Jack lots of love, attention, and affection.

Imagining her scratching my belly, she made me wish I was a dog. Definitely, I'd lick her face, in the way that Blondie just did. While imagining that Regina was Sophia, I'd lick her in all the places I used to lick her sister.

Then, catching me by surprised, she did something that her sister did at the dog park when I first met her. Whether it was unintentional or deliberate, I berated myself for looking. I scolded myself for staring but unable to control myself but, when she squatted down to greet Jack, she gave me a good, long, in between her legs, up-skirt view of her bright, white panties.

'Wow,' I thought. Not wanting her to catch me staring, I quickly looked away.

Having just met the woman, she accidentally gave me a great up-skirt view of her panty clad, pussy mound. Horny since Sophia died and since Emma left, I couldn't help but stare at all that I was already seeing of Regina's panties. Without doubt, with me already horny and sexually frustrated, I'll be masturbating over her tonight, that's for sure.

# # #

I stretched out my arm and hand as she approached me with a big smile. Instead of taking my hand, she bypassed my outstretched arm. She surprised me by walking up to me and giving me a big hug and a smooch on the lips. Then, as if I was her boyfriend or her lover at the airport and leaving for a trip, she hugged me again.

Afraid to touch her for fear that I'd grab and grope her shapely ass, I stood there motionless. Then, when she continued hugging me, I submitted to her will and wrapped my big arms around her shapely body and hugged her as if I was hugging her sister. It took all the self-control that I had not to imagine that I was hugging Sophia. It took all the self-control that I had not to reach down and cup her sweet ass through her short, blue skirt and white panties, which is what I always did to Sophia when holding her and hugging her.

Feeling so familiar, Regina felt so much like Sophia. If I was blindfolded while holding her and hugging her, I wouldn't be able to tell them apart. She even smelled like her, and her hair was just like Sophia's hair. We remained like that holding and hugging one another for a few seconds, which felt like a few minutes, until she released me from her hold. Hoping she didn't see the bulge in my pants, I was embarrassed that she gave me an erection.

"It's so great to finally meet you," she said with a big smile that made me smile, too. "My sister and Emma couldn't say enough about you." When she broke her hug, as if I was a male stripper on stage, she stepped back from me to give me an approving stare. "I thought they were exaggerating but now that I see you in person, they did not nearly say enough good things about you," she said with a smile. "They were right," she said waiting for me to respond.

As if undressing me with her eyes, in the way that I had already undressed her with my eyes, she looked me up and down. She made me feel nakedly vulnerable and sexually horny. I returned her ogling look with my look of curiosity.

"Right about what?"

Again, while giving me her best Sophia smile, she looked me as if I was standing there naked.

"With you so tall and your muscular build, you look like that famous western actor from the 60's, Clint Walker."

I laughed.

"Clint Walker? I haven't heard that name in years, since the movie, the Dirty Dozen. How do you know him from the 60's?"

She rolled her eyes.

"My Dad is a huge western fan and Clint Walker was his favorite cowboy, especially when he played that gunfighter, Cheyenne Bodie."

I laughed again.

"Do I look like him now that he's in his 80's or before when he was younger?"

A dumb conversation but it was our way to break the ice and get to know one another better before having a more serious conversation.

"He's dead now, of course. Yet, you look like him before when he was younger, of course," she said laughing.

"...And you look so much like...Sophia," I said with sadness.

# # #

I couldn't help but stare at her. She was just as beautiful as was her big sister. While still mourning the loss of my true love, it was such a cruel joke to play on me to have someone who looks exactly like the person I just lost come for a visit. I couldn't imagine how Sophia's parents must have felt having Regina around as Sophia's mirror image. They looked and sounded so much alike that they could have been identical twins.

Seeing Regina and talking to her was shocking, jolting, and created bittersweet flashbacks filled with sexual excitement and deep sorrow. I needed to sit down before I fell down. I collapsed on the porch bench. She sat beside me and, as if we were boyfriend and girlfriend, lovers, or as if she was Sophia, she took my hand in hers. I looked down at her hand as my fingers encompassed her small, soft hand, a hand that felt so much like Sophia's hand. Her fingers were exactly the same as Sophia's.

I couldn't help from imagining her fingers wrapped around my stiff prick and stroking me. With her having the same mouth as Sophia, I imagined her blowing me. I wondered what it would be like to kiss her while touching and feeling her everywhere. I wondered if she looked as hot naked as her big sister. I wondered if she sounded like her sister when she had a sexual orgasm. I wondered if she enjoyed dirty talk in the way that her sister loved sexy, pillow talk.

"Are you okay?" When she looked at me, she melted me with her eyes. "What's wrong?"

I looked up at her. She was so beautiful, as beautiful as was Sophia that I just wanted to kiss her, while pretending that I was kissing Sophia. I wanted to strip her naked and have sex with her before making love to her. If for only one night, I wanted Regina to be her sister.

"I mean, I knew you were her sister but, having never seen a photo of you, I never expected you to look so much like her, exactly like her. You two could have been twins, identical twins. It's startling," I said with a pause while collecting my thoughts. She looked at me waiting for me to finish. "I'm sorry for staring. It's painful for me to relive her in you."

She patted my hand.

"I'm sorry," she said. "I'm having a hard time, too. I knew this wasn't going to be easy coming here to visit you, but I needed to meet you. When talking to you on the phone, I should have warned you that we looked alike. I'm surprised Emma didn't tell you." She sat beside me silently while holding my hand. "Do you want me to leave?"

She looked up at me with Sophia's brown eyes and I looked at her shocked that she'd even suggest that.

"Leave?" I looked over at her smiling and squeezed her hand. "No, of course not, I don't want you to leave. I'm so glad that you're here. I have so much to tell you. Just give me a minute to..." I looked at her again suddenly feeling the urge to kiss her again. "God, you're just as beautiful...just give me a moment," I said looking away in my feeble attempt to break the spell she had over me.

Her voice, her diction, and her mannerisms were all so very much the same as Sophia's. It was scarily uncanny. Immediately, taking me by surprise, holding my heart hostage, and taking my brain prisoner, in the way that I had been sexually attracted to Sophia, I was sexually attracted to Regina. Yet, too much too soon, still grieving over Sophia, I never got to say good-bye to her. Immediately, as if she was Sophia reincarnated, I wanted to take her to bed. Then, when I stood and pulled her up with me, I wanted to kiss her.

"C'mon, let's go inside and I'll show you the house and your room."

# # #

We went inside and I made her comfortable in the guest bedroom, the bedroom at the end of the hall. She insisted that she wanted to stay in the same room that her sister had, before Sophia and I started sleeping together in our threesome arrangement with Emma. Not having to share a bathroom, having her own, it was as if she had her own suite. The arrangement afforded her a level of privacy, if she so wanted it.

At this point, after meeting her, reliving Sophia in her strong resemblance, and hearing her voice, her giggle, and her laugh while watching her mannerisms, everything about her reminded me of her sister. I'd accommodate her in any way to make her stay longer. Already saddened about her leaving soon, I never wanted her to go. I wanted her to stay longer than the weekend that she had planned. Using her as my surrogate Sophia, I wanted her to stay with me forever. So that I wouldn't hurt so badly, I wanted her to use her to replace her sister.

Suddenly, the thought of Regina in my life, instead of Sophia, was so perversely offensive to me that I almost vomited. I knew that even though they looked so much alike that they were two individual people with different feelings, wants, and needs. Now, in my thoughts of Sophia, I was giddy with happiness that Regina was here with me in my house and in my little world, which suddenly expanded greatly, again, to include her.

Going better than I thought it would go, her visit was uplifting. I was happy that she was here. When I first saw her, and how much she looked like Sophia, I expected to be miserably depressed and I wanted to send her away. Instead, once I accepted how much she looked like Sophia, it was just the opposite. In a weird way, with not having a chance to say good-bye to the love of my life, her visit was cathartic. Her visit enabled me to get closure in the sudden and tragic death of my lover through her sister.

In a morbidly perverse sense, this was my way of talking to the dead through the living and it was a way for me to discover things that I didn't know and didn't have a chance to know about Sophia. I found learning more about Sophia growing up as a child so very healing and comforting. Making me laugh with her memories of her sister, if nothing else, she took my mind off my mourning. Helping one another through the grieving process, the mere activity of talking to her kept my mind busy and my spirits lifted.

I helped her with her things, moving what she needed and helping her to arrange the empty closet. Surprised she felt comfortable enough to stay with me, a man she never met, no one had been here since Emma moved out some months ago. I wasn't only excited about having a roommate again, albeit a temporary roommate, but the fact that she looked so much like Sophia lifted my spirits from the depressed state that I had been in lately. If nothing else, she was a diversion and someone to talk to for a few days.

I had been feeling so lonely and Regina helped me through my loneliness. Only, not wanting to make her feel uncomfortable, I had to make a conscious effort not to stare at her and not to call her Sophia. She was just so damn beautiful and looked so much like her sister, that I was instantly sexually attracted to her.

# # #

"Do you drink coffee?"

I asked hoping she'd say yes.

"Coffee? God, yes. I'm addicted," she said.

I gave her a relieved smile.

"Great. I'll put on a fresh pot. Sophia and I..." I paused not knowing if I should proceed to talk about her sister to her.

She touched the back of my hand.

"Please, I want you to talk about my sister. That's why I'm here," she said suddenly looking very sad. I felt her pain and gave her a hug. "Maybe, somehow, my visit can help us both heal," she said looking at me with her big, brown, beautiful eyes.

Glad that she was here and already having helped me, I nodded my head.

"Okay," I said not knowing where to begin I allowed her to talk.

She gave me a warm smile that melted my heart. I left her for the kitchen to make the coffee. As if we had never stopped talking, we started where we had stopped.

"Sophia moved out of the house, while I was still in high school, and then I went off to college. I haven't spent as much time as I would have like to with my big sister. I was hoping that you could help me by telling me more about her, the things that I didn't know."

I let out a little laugh.

"In that regard, we have that in common. I was hoping that you could tell me about Sophia as a child and what it was like growing up with her." We smiled at one another and I felt that I should continue the conversation, telling her about the Sophia that I knew.

She returned my smile with her smile.

"It's a deal," she said. "You tell me how Sophia lived her life with you and I'll tell you about how she grew up as a child."

As soon as the coffee was ready, I poured her a cup and wasn't surprised that she took her coffee the same way as her sister, black with no sugar.

"We always had coffee this time of the afternoon," I said volunteering what information that came to mind. "Then, we'd take our cups to the back screened in porch where we sat and talked about everything and laughed over nothing, while watching the dogs play."

She laughed.

"I'll tell you what," she said, "you show me the kitchen and I'll make the coffee the next time."

# # #

She was so very much like her sister when taking charge of things. The dogs abandoned me to follow her and I didn't blame them. Who said dogs are dumb? I'd follow someone who looked as good as Regina to the end of the earth.

I put out some biscuits to have with our coffee and we took our cups out back. At times, it was difficult to talk to her without staring, without swooning, and without wanting to lean over and kiss her. Although, I had never seen a photo of her, certainly, I felt as if I already knew her from what Sophia had told me about her baby sister. Yet, now that she's dead, another lifetime, all of that small talk seemed so long ago.

Whenever she looked away, I studied her face looking for the smallest imperfection in her to make me realize that she wasn't Sophia. Physically, she was an identical, genetic copy. Now, I wondered what her mother, Connie, looked like and if she looked as good as her daughters.

Perversely perverted, unable to help my sexually, twisted curiosity, I listened intently as she talked while wondering what she looked like naked. Being that I was grieving over Sophia, while sitting here with a carbon copy of her, how could I not wonder what she looked like without her clothes? I wondered if her breasts were the same. I wondered if she was shaved, trimmed, or bushy. I wondered if her pussy tasted the same and was as tight as Sophia's pussy. I wondered what she was like in bed. I wondered if she talked dirty and if she screamed when she had a sexual orgasm.

I couldn't believe that I was already undressing this nice, young lady with my eyes. I couldn't believe that I was such a degenerate pig. Yet, I missed Sophia so very much and here I was sitting with her sister looking so much like my lost love. I couldn't help but imagine Regina in all sorts of sexually depraved positions while screaming my name. I had to force myself to think of something else, anything else to say to take my mind off incestuous, sexual thoughts.

"Do you like baseball?"

She smiled

"Yeah, my Dad is a big fan."

With her from New York, I figured her for a Yankees fan instead of the Mets. Still, I wanted to needle her over her hometown team.

"How 'bout those Red Sox? I can't believe they won another World Series. Do you think they'll become a baseball dynasty like the Yankees used to be?"

She laughed.

"Since I'm a Yankees fan, I hope not," she said with a laugh.

# # #

She helped me with dinner, tuna steaks with brown rice and peas. Even though I opened a bottle of wine and offered her some, I decided to forgo the wine. Since Sophia died, I've numbed enough of my days with excess alcohol.

"This is the perfect wine with fish," I said. "I apologize for not joining you in a drink but I've had more than my share of alcohol over the past few months."

She nodded her head in agreement.

"Oh, that's okay, I understand. I found myself drinking more than usual and had to make a conscious effort not to drink, but tonight is a special occasion," she said pausing to take a sip of her wine. She paused again, perhaps, while reflecting on what she was about to say. "Unfortunately, my mother has been drinking more than she ever did in the past. Sophia's death hit her the hardest."

I gave her an understanding look.

"I hope that I can still meet your parents, one day."

While wondering if the women got their good looks from their Dad or their Mom, I wondered again what her Mom looked like.

"Maybe, after I report back to my mother that you're a gentleman and a nice guy, my Mom may want meet you to talk to you about her daughter, but not my Dad. In his convoluted logic, he blames you and Emma for Sophia's death."

I gave her a hurt look.

"He does? I don't understand. Why does he blame us?"

I was stunned by this sudden revelation, even though Emma had touched upon her family somehow blaming us for Sophia's death, I wanted to know more.

"He said had Sophia not moved to Massachusetts from upstate New York and driven to visit us, she would have not fallen asleep at the wheel." She looked at my pained expression. "See? I told you it was convoluted. She could have died anywhere and at any time. Obviously, it was her time to go," she said with a shrug as if she was already an indifferent reporter reciting the news.

'Her time to go,' I thought? 'It was such a weird comment to make about her own sister. Why was it her time to go,' I wondered?

Her comment shocked me and gave me some insight into who she was as a loving and caring sister. In her stoic feelings about death, she was different from her sister. I chalked up Regina's blasé attitude to her young age and immaturity. Nonetheless, with the young seemingly unafraid albeit unprepared to die more than the elderly, with the younger generation taking more thrill-seeking risks, her nonchalance about death still surprised me. Perhaps, crying, kicking, and screaming, she'd feel differently if it was her time to go.

"I understand your father not liking me. We're nearly the same age, after all. I wouldn't want a man twice my daughter's age dating her. And if it makes him feel better in his grief to blame someone for the loss of his daughter, then I can shoulder that burden," I said with a sad smile.

Ready to shoulder some of the blame for her death, I nodded my head to show her that I understood why her father would feel that way about me.

"You're a good man, Jimmy," she said consuming her first glass and allowing me to pour her a second glass. "I can see why my sister fell in love with you."

# # #

Something unexpected and something that Sophia would impulsively do, she shocked me when she stood, kicked out her chair, and leaned over the dining room table towards me. When I stood to meet her, I had a nice down blouse view of her ample cleavage and low-cut white, lacy bra. While still leaning over the table, she gave me a quick kiss on the cheek and stretched her body out to wrap her arms around my neck to give me a hug.

Then, when she pulled her chair back to the table and moved to sit while crossing her shapely legs, she gave me a quick flash of her white panties. Maybe, it was the hot coffee that I was drinking, but suddenly I felt warm, hot actually, after having a down blouse view of Regina's cleavage and bra, and an up-skirt view of her panties. She had a body as hot as Sophia's body but she was so young. Moreover, forbidden fruit, even though we weren't blood related, she was my deceased lover's kid sister and the sexual thoughts I suddenly had for her were incestuous.

Again, unable to help myself, lonely, sad, horny, and sexually frustrated, I wondered what Regina looked like in her bra and panties. I wondered what she looked like naked. Since she looked so much like her sister, and with her having such a strong family resemblance, I wondered if she looked like her mother.