All Comments on 'Last Man - Brian Said No!'

The only thing I can say is: Mairi didn't had a soft heart, she was simply dumb as a rock...Good story...4*

sorry but your timelines need work or u need to make your story longer. i felt rushed and u skipped details in-between.

Hahahaha! I liked it.

Very nice improvement.

Mairi was still a brain dead slut but at least no one else put up with her or Simon's bullshit.

Oh lord, another GA remix?

Are we going to get the whole library going now?

And StoneyWebb posted "Wife impregnated by brother-in-law" - a very similar story - TODAY of all coincidences. Weird. Neither story really covered any new or interesting ground. Maybe next time........

Not bad but it felt kind of ... flat.

That's actually a good spin on the tale, even if it did have a sort of unhappy ending. Better than Brian's original story, which had three loathsome characters to deal with, making for some rough reading.

I much prefer this ending to GeorgeAnderson's as well wrtten as his was it left me cold. Five stars.

A reasonable effort for what was a week original story.

he lost points to me when he gave a fuck about what happened to his ex. Fuck her and her sister. He was a dumb ass from the being.

In the Frost poem the "Road Not Taken" is the path the CHARACTER DOES NOT TAKE! Not the one he does take. The character TAKES the road less traveled by. The poem is not about choosing a one path over the other, it is simply about making a choice and the results of making a choice. Making a choice makes all the difference.

all versions of this story have been trainwrecks.... some bigger some smaller!

by three different authors. Someone needs to write a new story about Brian and Traci, two of the oft-used names in LW-land. Proposed title: What About Brian and That Slut Traci?

"IVF with Ellie's egg and a surrogate would be an even closer genetic connection, and would keep Mairi out of it."

Exactly!

He made a brilliant point that blew their whole argument to pieces... then immediately backed down and agreed to artificial insemination of his wife. Why agree to any of it? After that, the story went downhill unfortunately, as it became inevitable that Mairi would fuck Simon and destroy her marriage.

I guess i just don't understand these surrogacy stories. In his place, I would've sat Mairi down and said, "I don't care how much you want to help Ellie. I fucking hate Simon and I will not allow you to defile your body with his spawn. If you go ahead with this behind my back, then I see a divorce and a fall down the stairs in your future."

Interesting story! StoneyWebb post a story similar to yours though he says he was unable to locate the original author. His story ended differently than yours.

5

is the one get dump on.no wife,but everybody else get someone.

but that would be implying that the original George Anderson story was worth modeling. It was just Fag Cuck Shit, so how do you sequelize feces?

This was a vast improvement.

Thanks for the effort.

This was miles above GA's cuckfest.

GA's story left me cold .. worst of all was the family backing his wife over & over. With those kind of relatives you don't need enemies if you know what I mean. Betrayal on the most heinous level is a frequent theme for GA. He does it well and you did this well .. 5*

Still, the misplaced chivalry exhibited by authors here by not having the little lady pay child support is annoying. 5

chur m8 awsum story

⭐⭐⭐⭐

Very well done.. I enjoyed your story very much. Thank you

MINUS 5*

Him ending up with Ellie would have been much more satisfying

YOU CAN ONLY POLISH A TURD SO MUCH....

The original story by Michael Fitzgerald in a vile disgusting offensive piece of ship which is nothing more than a poorly disguised cuckold story. But then again if you look at Michael Fitzgerald entire work almost every story he has ever written has been nothing but a attempt to justify cheating wives And taking a giant shit on the husbands.

The ollow up by George Anderson was almost as Absurdly awful and laughably stupid. The worst thing about the George Anderson ending is that on page 4 or page 5 the husband Makes the absurd claim that the actions taken by the wife are not actually the wife's fault. Go ahead take a look at the Follow up for new ending by Mr. Aanderson

George Anderson again is one of those riders with an amazing amount of talent but constantly excuses the wife's behavior all the time no matter what happens and constantly humiliates and portrays the husband as pathetic incompetent deranged and a loser.

In this version The probably means the same as it is with the George Anderson version which is this:

WHY would anybody CARE to read about the emotions or the thinking of a person like Brian?

In REAL LIFE the story ended when the wife openly admitted that she set up the whole thing so that Brian would not have time to react . The wife openly admits that they set up the phone call In such So that the husband could not get a word in edge wise and called at other times when she knew he could not talk openly or freely.

WHY?

If the wife Ridiculous claims that she knew the husband would say yes so why bother asking Is in fact the exact opposite of reality. If the wife really knows her husband and just know that he would say yes then why the fake convoluted phone call with the hope and could not participate ?

There never should have been a seconds worth of hesitation about Brian walking out of the marriage. In the original story ....in the GA version.... or this one

It is absurd laughable and deranged to think that a wife who Claims to love her husband very much could make that decision without allowing him to have even one word of say or conversation. That's not a marriage and to intentionally manipulate things so the husband was shut out is just unacceptable.

When the line cheating cunts whore wife Comes home from her 1st out of fuckings the Scottish guy the husband should be gone. Completely 100% gone. Take all the money take all these savings and leave.

Anything else Is simply an acceptable and an attempt to force some sort of stupid reconciliation at the end of the story.

Even worse is this constant attempt by these various authors to show that the wife is just one of those types of people who just rationally makes decisions or gives with her whole heart or some other nonsense.

Sorry 1.5 stars

All very mediocre and well boring really 😒

A good take on it. Simon's true character comes out - I'm surprised he wasn't ambushed and either crippled or killed do to his ways. Mairi got what she deserved - single parenthood and the loss of the love of her life due to her selfishness. The husband will find love again.

So the so called great writers on this site can no longer come up with their OWN stories they're just going to write sequels or continue some one else's work who they also think is great. 1*

A better story than either Michael Fitzgerald's original or George Anderson's version, although neither Simon not Mairii get the BTB treatment they deserve. Brian does end up with the kids, however, the saving grace of the current version.

kinda dull, given the morose why didnt the sucker slit his writs asteroid up the ass cuck fest the original and sequel were I was expecting the whores to suffer

I think this is certainly the most plausible path this tale could take. Anderson’s, though well written, made Brian appear more weak than loving.

I don’t always read sbrooks’ stories but when I do it’s Last Man Standing: Brian Said No! 5 stars!

...the end was just sort of bland. Right after the counseling it sort of petered out in emotional content and realtime “action” instead just telling us what happens.

The plot gets a 4-star

The story, because of the end, gets 3-stars.

kinda dull but A better story than either Michael Fitzgerald's original or George Anderson's version which didn't surprise me! 4**** Thank You

Not bad more real life like. A3 from me for overall story.

Mairi was a whore and got caught. Too bad she didn't get hers and disappear off the face of the Earth...

Finally a writer with a moral compass, and the balls to write a story reflecting those morals!

It is a sad state of affairs that two of the three stories, about this subject, reflect how so many people think today.

5*****

SOS

Brian's life is incomplete. He didn't burn his ex, he didn't burn the other guy, he didn't find anyone else to love.

I appreciate that he didn't reconcile (definitely not a fan of RAAC) but didn't like the way the story ended.

Complaining about writers unable to come up with their own stories, why don't you show us what you've got to offer first.

This was a reasonable conclusion. The wife wasn't covered in diluted honey and laid on an anthill so some won't be satisfied. Still, I liked it.

It really isn't all that far fetched of a concept if the husbands loved and respected each other. Insurance may not always cover the procedures in situations like this. I was lucky to be in a state where everything was covered but I saw the insurance claims... wicked expensive. Going behind your husband's back against his objections... yeah that is a marriage killer.

Well played as a first story and as a better version of the story. To anonymous, if you object so much please write your OWN story. There is always room for more writers, I'd give you a read! Thank you for your story sbrooks.

For a cluster it's more realistic.

wraps up too neatly, with everyone getting what they deserve, which rarely happens.

Well told. It could have continued to give resolution to all the characters.

I vaguely remember the previous versions but now will have to go back and read them again. I liked your version.

For the anonymous who ranted about authors rewriting older stories and not coming up with 'new'. Try to come up with something. It is hard.

Just a novel approach to the basic formula is hard and then you get blasted in the comments because it was easy to tell the main character's wife was cheating and not a big surprise...Duhhh! That is one reason why I only have 2 stories in this category.

I gave this story 5 stars for being well written.

While I only found your tale ok it is far better than either of the other two which are absolutely disgusting tales. At least the husband in your tale had a backbone and a set of balls the stand up to his wife and brother-in-law's bullshit. Still would like to see Simon met up with a good old hickory pickaxe handle and be taught a lesson about taking things which aren't his.

The story was decent and probably more realistic, the fact that Mairie won't get an abortion or won't put the kid up for adoption tells the tale, that she was lying it was just to give Simon an heir, it indicates that she wanted to have Simon's baby, it meant something to her. It was also clear that had the child been female, as it was, old Simon would be loving getting her pregnant until she had a boy. The irony is that with IVI/IUI it is no longer the turkey baster/take a chance, they have the ability now to almost guarantee what the sex of the child will be , they use 'sperm washes' that influence it one way or the other.

The weakness in the story is that Mairie never apologizes to Ellie or Brian, she never really seems to understand what she did, how she lied to herself with having sex with Simon, or that Simon in part wanted to have sex with Mairie because he wanted to humiliate Brian. Sure, she ends up without custody of the kids, and has to raise Simon's daughter alone, but she never ,ever says she is sorry, it is evident she had a lot more with Simon than a big heart, that is for sure. I realize that mother's have a very special relationship with a child born to them, but unless she really thought something of Simon, that baby would be the reminder of what she did to Brian, what she lost (her own kids), if she was opposed to abortion she would have put it up for adoption in the hope that she and Brian might reconcile, but she wouldn't do that.

The other is that Simon never really pays the price for what an arrogant sod he is. Okay, the whole string of women getting pregnant, having a daughter instead of a son, might seem to be punishment, but he is still the same arrogant prick.

Commenting as I go.

I got nothin'.

What does double dating have to do with the story?

It's almost like sbrooks103 has been doing this for awhile, given the quality and style of the writing, but it appears to be his only story. If this is your first, then congratulations. It won't win any prizes, but it is better than average LW story and you weren't shy about dipping your toes in this divisive category. You can even write dialogue without making it look like a script for a play.

I suspect you seem familiar from the comments sections and this is a big step up from that. I encourage you to continue to write stories and hope you have a thick skin if you are going to post in this category. It would be nice to see more characters react like your protagonist to these situations (or like normal people would), instead of just wallowing in their own humiliation and passiveness (cuck shit) as is so often the case.

to this story. 5*, of course.

Not much depth of emotion to that story, much preferred StoneyWebb version. Not particularly badly written or anything just soulless. So it's 3* but do keep trying.

Great story from Brian's very understandable point of view. This follows GA's story more than Michael Fitzgerald's original and it is great in that the lying and cheating don't go unpunished. It's very similar to Stony Webb's recent story, which is also good. This surrogacy by natural fertilization idea is not one that would be acceptable to normal couples in my opinion. I think having close relatives involved would be unthinkable. Auntie Em is yer ma too doesn't play well at Christmas dinner. Papa Bud spending too much time under the mistletoe with Auntie Em might cause unsightly familial friction also. Again, great story Lefty.

Out of nowhere, two stories based out of Fitzgerald's nightmarish tale of cuckolding came out in the last 24 hours. Not sure how to explain the sudden re-interest, but 'can't said I'm unhappy about it.

Out of all of them, sbrooks103's take has, IMHO, the most realistic outcome to such a FUBAR situation. His Brian was no fool blinded by love - he understood exactly the true motivations of all the players involved (Ellie, doing what she did out of guilt; Mairi and, especially, Simon, really out of lust), called them all on it, and acted/reated accordingly to what happen around him. His MC didn't caved on his belief, like the poor sap did in the original story and in Anderson's effort, and got everything worth having out of the death of his marriage ('will always - ALWAYS - root for a man trying to get primary custody of his kids from an unfaithful wife; that's the way it should always be.)

No out-of-nowhere hookup with the sister-in-law, even though such action would have felt warranted; no bombshell waiting for his marriage to crumble, so she can be first in line to snag him up; the MC simply moved on from his failed relationship, and focus his energy on his kids and their welfare.

You know - the way it would have been, if it was in real life.

Simon was shown to be the thoroughly worthless douchebag he always was, even though none of the other writers of this tale ever portrayed him as such (seriously, even StoneyWebb had 'his' sister-in-law calling him 'a great guy', even after he cheated on her!); Ellie ended up as the single mother of the poor ill-conceived child, which is fitting, given that such an immature woman has no business being married to anyone in the first place; and nobody outside of this shitshow went out of their ways to apologize and/or ignore the actions of the adulterers...

You know - how it would be in reality!

I get that some readers would wish for more flight of fancy from this story, but I personally find myself respecting and enjoying the more down-to-earth take we got here. Honestly, all of the storylines where Simon ended up bedding Mairi without her getting immediately serve divorce papers never made any goddamn sense to me, so....

To each his own, I guess, but this is something I can believe in.

"No, no, it's for Ellie, too! She's devastated that she can't give Simon a son."

Ellie still won't be able to give Simon son.

"Ellie must have had her phone on speaker because I could hear Simon bellowing"....

Why didn't Brian insist that Mairi have her phone on speaker

"I returned to my beer, which wasn't quite as cold now"....

How did that comment add to the story? Was this an attempt at humor?

" Is there any chance that you will end the pregnancy?"

There was a pause, then Mairi hung her head, shaking it slowly side-to-side, audibly sobbing."

Why wouldn't she want to abort the child?

"While Simon's name was on Sara's birth certificate, he refused to allow her the MacTavish name......"

If his name was on the birth certificate wouldn't the MacTavish name also be Sara's?

I asked this question earlier, I'm going to include it anyway.

"Ellie met a man at work, and we double-dated some, though I rarely had the same date twice."

What does his double dating have to do with the rest of the story?

And you still made Brian a cuckold.

3stars for no spelling mistakes that I saw.

... on a lovely original story. Thank you: I enjoyed this - you've done yourself and George Anderson proud.

OK rendition. Well written but pretty bland plot line as it didn't dig too deep with the characters emotions or family impacts of everything.

Just a response to a couple of comments: I deliberately chose to NOT have him end up with Ellie as I though it was too cliche, almost as cliche as the one I joked about at the end.

As for Simon, yes, I thought about all the usual things: He gets the shit out him, loses his balls or the ability to use them, HIV, gets killed; but haven't we seen all those dozens, if not hundreds of times? I decided that the worst thing that could happen to Simon was to father nothing but daughters. NOT my feelings, but the way that he would feel.

I don't think it was a great piece of writing. It felt rushed and left a lot of the details out. I did like the way Brian and Ellie handled their cheating spouses.

@lujon2019

did you read you comment before you posted it? It didnt make any sense to me.

Nice story, thank you for writing it

Good initial part

The end got a little confusing until the absolute end

Thanks for writing

All it would have taken was a simple ‘NO!’ and to not budge from that position, but then where’s the fun in that.

The incessant need of most of the writers to have the jilted husband go through life without a spouse is tiring and nowhere close to reality.

The whole point of GeorgeAnderson's Last Man: Brian's Tale is that life is not fair and the good guy often comes in last. GA spells it out in his introductory quote from Hamlet. It is this unfairness that gives GA's story great poignancy and emotional impact.

This new version smoothes off the disturbing complexity of GA's story and provides the reader the comfortable satisfactions of a frustrated predator, a burnt LW and a mostly-content MC who gets full custody of his children. It's as if Shakespeare had Claudius and Gertrude come down with syphilis, while Hamlet prospers and admires bikini-clad Ophelia emerging unharmed from her daily dip in the pool.

Great telling of the story from Brian's POV. Second really good wife helping brother in law father a child, through "natural" insemination, in the last few days. This one is closer to GA's version than Michael Fitzgerald's very good original. I like this one because Simon and Mairi get exactly what they deserve in the end. This isn't A situation that I think would fly anyplace other than LW world. Christmas dinner would be fun with little Buster finding out that Aunty Em was also mommy Em, and Uncle Tom beat the crap out of Daddy Bud for spending too much time under the mistletoe with Aunty Em. It makes a really good LW story though. Great job Lefty.

First Story?

/

I apologize for the confusion. sbrooks103 is my old ID, I had problems signing on, so got a new ID, sbrooks103x. When I got a new PC and logged on to Literotica, I inadvertently used my old ID and was able to sign in, not realizing it was my old ID until I was asked about it.

/

So, this isn't my first story!

/

As for the double-dating, people always want to know about what happened next, that was my, apparently failed, attempt to do that.

/

As for the birth certificate, there's the mother's name, the father's name, and the baby's name. As far as I know there's no law that forces the baby's last name to be the same as either parent, and I don't believe that the father can be forced to give the baby his surname, though I'm prepared to stand corrected.

Sure as hell beats the original which I found highly offensive. But, the real culprit was Mairi not Simon. She's the one that wanted the fucking, why was not made clear. Mairi, Simon, and Ellie all deserved a good btb .

I like this better than the original or the other version by George Anderson. While those two were well done, I thought that this one showed the most believable actions by Brian as well as the others. Plus it seems to have, to me, a better ending.

I think the sticking point to me was that Brian couldn't just Yell 'NO' into the phone as he did in this one. Of course in the original version, no mention was made of Mari's husband, and while that did have a good feel to it, I kept wondering about her husband and family, it did mention that she'd had children before.

kinda dull,

given the morose "why didn't the sucker slit his wrists, asteroid up the ass" cuck fest the original and sequel were I was expecting the whores to suffer

.

@tralan69er

That better for you?

This is a far better story than the original.

I've read this one, the original MichaelFitzgerald and the GA stories. One nitpik - I re-read the original several times - NO WHERE is it stated that Mairi is married. She has 2 kids, yes. But no mention of marriage or a husband. Not sure you can cuckold something that possibly doesn't exist. I have a cousin who has 3 children and has never been married. It does happen. :)

I don’t see any justification for a married woman to be @ surrogate. Because her sister asked isn’t a good enough excuse. Mairi insisting on it, is when Brian should have told her to go live with her sister for the duration; that he didn’t want to see her pregnant. Then once she’s out, serve her with divorce.

A somewhat better story than the others

best of the 3 versions but mcturdish needed an ambush attitude adjustment, and someone please explain or admit why mairi wanted to fuck mcturdish so much. i think she thought she was entitled to what she wanted and that was 1- a good hard bodied physical fucker 2- prove that she owned and controlled hubby to inall ways and could take him for granted and 3- to prove to her sister that she(mairi) was the better woman, desirable to all, fecund and whatever.

I liked it. I still don't understand why she would let Simon coerce her that way. If she isn't doing it for lust, then why? Otherwise, it was a good story about a very foolish woman.

I don't get why they didn't do invitro with Ellie's egg and a surrogate as the story suggested. With advanced technology they even have ways to make sure it was a boy. Why let Mairi be the surrogate and egg donor in the first place... I can think of reasons but the story brought them up and never said why they didn't go that route. Another thing I don't get is why the wife got pregnant again with the dude that ruined her marriage. This isn't a real person.

stupid woman cannot wait to have a bit of 'strange' at the cost of everything else.

he shouldn't have had asked her to have an abortion

I liked this version as well.

A major point that is easily missed is how a generous person can so easily be manipulated

Not only no but FUCK no. The IVF with Ellie's egg was the only answer since her eggs were ok. As far as I am concern Brian chose to be a cuck. Mairi could have been the surrogate to carry their baby but to fertilize one of her eggs when Ellie's eggs were good NOOO.

This version to the last one. The only thing that would have made it better would have been to have rendered mcbullshit sterile.

Well written, but I hate the plot. The good guy loses everything but his children (doesn't even get child support from the puta), the bad guy wins by having multiple kids and no responsibilities. Good guy deesn't even get a new relationship.

I was magnanimous enough to not demand child support from Mairi.

Why?

Enjoyed the story. Thanks for writing.

I do not understand the relationship between the sbrooks103 account and the sbrooks103x account, which has submissions dated both before and after the dates of the two stories attributed to sbrooks103. A single author seemingly should have a single account. Are there two authors on Literotica who post as sbrooks?

Better ending than George Anderson's

The author took all the reasons from George Anderson's story and placed them here as an alternative story. However it doesn't fit with the original story at all.

MUCH BETTER than George Anderson' s attempt. More realistic, that's for sure.

Only fault is that ending seems somewhat...rushed.

Overally 4/5

Much...muuuuch better

Yep! Much more satisfying than George Anderson's version.

I thought this was a really good take on the original, to my mind it was more realistic way it would have gone if it was real life.

A much better variant than the original. Mairi was strange. Something odd about her. She isn't evil. She originally wanted to help. But she refused to listen to her husband, then torched their marriage. Wth? 4 stars.

I thought it would have a better revenge point. Also the ending is still depressing