Last Man: Brian's Tale

"Brian, I've always liked you, ever since your name started showing up in Mairi's phone calls. You've made my big sister the happiest woman I know, and you're a great dad to your kids. I've come to love you like a brother. And now we've sprung this on you, and asked you to support it for family's sake. For Mairi and me." She was smart enough not to mention Simon or his "noble cause."

"You're sacrificing the most out of any of us, and you're the only one who doesn't get anything in return. Simon gets an heir, and gets to have sex with my beautiful sister; I get to be a mother when I thought that was impossible, and Mairi gets to be the sister she wants to be. And you remember how much she loved being pregnant." Ellie somehow forgot to mention how much Mairi would enjoy the sex. "You've had to sacrifice your wife's fidelity, without even having a choice. I can't even begin to imagine how much this hurts, but I do understand there's nothing anyone can do to ever make that up to you. I won't insult you by pretending there is, but I'll do whatever I can to help you.

"For whatever it's worth, you will have my deepest gratitude as long as I live. I will make sure Simon is respectful to you. I know he's inclined not to be, but if he wants this to happen, he'd better learn quick. And I'll make sure Mairi never forgets how much you've sacrificed for us to have a child. If there's anything else I can do to help you or make it easier, all you have to do is ask." Her sincerity shone in her face, so like Mairi's but so different.

"It won't be easy for you either, to see your husband go off and have sex with another woman."

"That won't happen. I'll be right there with them, like I was in Annapolis."

"Uh, isn't that a little, ...?"

Ellie had almost as cute a giggle as Mairi. "Yes, it probably is, but you know Mairi. She never gives you time to think about things like that, and after we'd done it we all decided we liked it that way. It made it something we were all three doing, bringing us all together. Besides, I don't want Simon and Mairi bonding by themselves any more than you do." She stood, then bent down and kissed the top of my head. "I know that won't help much, but I hope it helps some."

I was trying not to think of all the ways this sucked, and failing as usual, when my reflections were interrupted by Simon's entrance. I stood to meet him, half hoping that he'd go all MacTavish and attack me so the women would have to call this whole thing off. No such luck. To my surprise, he just stood there shuffling his feet.

"Um, Brian..." Whatever else he wanted to say seemed to get stuck in his throat.

"Yes?"

"Um, well, Ellie, ah, she..." I just looked at him.

"She, um, helped me see a few things. Yeah, she showed me some things." He paused and wiped his hand across his forehead, then the rest came out in a rush. "Well, what she did was read me the riot act and said how you were doing this wonderful thing for us that I'd never do in a million years for anyone, and she's right, and she said the least I could do was show you some respect, and she said she'd call the whole thing off if I didn't." He stopped for breath as his face turned red. "She's right. Hell, she's more than right, and I'm ashamed of myself. I've dishonored myself and my family by the way I've treated you, pretty much since we met. I apologize, and I'll owe you for the rest of my life. I'm sorry, man."

He held out his right hand. I shook it and muttered something like "Okay." It was really sort of embarrassing.

"Thanks, Brian." He turned to leave the porch, then turned back to me. "By the way, those kids, Ben and Gillian? You're doing a great job with them, and I hope my son grows up just like them."

My first week in Hell began the next Friday. Mairi has never been good at hiding her emotions, at least from me, and I could tell she was excited about something the moment I came home from work. I raised an eyebrow at her and she mouthed "tonight" at me. After the kids were in bed, she handed me two manila envelopes.

"Clean STD panels from both of us," she announced. "Ellie thought it would ease your mind if I got one too, so I did. Today's the first day I could possibly be fertile, and I've been off the pills for over a week, so we're starting tonight. I won't stay overnight, but we'll do it until he can't any more, so you probably shouldn't wait up." She caressed my cheek.

"I'm sorry you'll be alone tonight, and I'm sorry this hurts you so much. Please remember, this is for Ellie and for me. We all owe you more than we can even say. But this will end, and I'll be home for good, and we'll be just like we were before, only better because Ellie will be better. I love you, Brian." She turned to go.

"I love you too, Mairi." I mumbled as the door slammed shut behind her.

There was a dreadful finality in that sound. My wife was gone, leaving me and her children for another man's bed. At least she hadn't dressed up for him. Yes, I remembered why she was doing it. Yes, she would come home to me, eventually. But would she be the same? Mairi loved sex, and she threw herself into it completely. She made love with her whole self, at least she had with me, from the very first time. What if she and Simon bonded in spite of Ellie's precautions? What if they fell in love, heaven forbid? How could Simon possibly have sex - make love - with Mairi and not fall in love with her? How would she react? Fuck.

I had been stupid to agree to this. Had I even agreed to it? Or had I just known I couldn't stop it, and decided not to try? That was probably closer to the truth.

I paced the floor. I tried to find something on television, but nothing held my attention for more than ten seconds. I didn't drink. I don't hold my liquor very well, so I avoid it. That had always been something else for Simon to pull my chain about. Finally, I looked in on my sleeping children. That calmed me enough to go to bed.

I don't know what time Mairi came home. I was in bed; she obviously thought I was asleep. She looked clean, and her clothes weren't mussed. She looked like she was walking on air as she went to the bathroom to get ready for bed. Her face practically glowed in the dark. Fuck. Literally.

"You don't look like you slept well last night, Brian." Mairi looked worried the next morning. I barely resisted the urge to say something witty like "No shit, Sherlock" or "Thank you, Captain Obvious."

"I'm sorry. This will all be over in nine months or so, and we'll be fine. I'll make sure of it." She gave me a tender kiss, then informed me of the plans for the day. Ellie and Simon would come over as usual, then I would take the kids to the zoo while they did their thing, and we'd all have supper together before they went home.

"Why don't you just go over there? Less schlepping around."

"Actually, there's less this way because we don't have to move the kids' stuff." Well, that was true enough. Suddenly another thought struck me.

"Wait a minute, where will you do it? The kids' beds aren't big enough, and there's not another..."

"Yes, there is."

"You think you're going to fuck him in our bed?" The tone of my voice should have warned her.

"Don't be difficult, Brian. You know we're doing it; does it really make that much difference where?"

"Hell, yes! Every time I look at you it's like I can see his fucking paw prints all over you. That's bad enough, thank you very much. I will not have his fucking memories in my bed. I'll burn the damn thing first!" Preferably with him in it, I added to myself.

"All right, we'll go to their place. I'm sorry, I didn't think it through. I should have known better than to suggest that. This is hard enough for you, you don't need me doing things that make it harder." She melted into my arms the way she always did. "I love you, Brian, and I'll be grateful for the rest of my life." I kept hearing that; frankly, it didn't help much.

Simon and Ellie arrived shortly after that. They and Mairi all had that same excitement, or whatever it was, about them that Mairi had the previous night. Ellie did take the time to give me a big hug and whisper "Thank you" in my ear before we left for the zoo. It helped some to have something else to do, and not have to watch Mairi leave. It didn't help so much to come home with the kids to an empty house, but they were only five minutes behind us, so it wasn't that bad.

They did it for at least three hours every night for a week. It never got easier. Somehow, Mairi managed not to get pregnant. My asking whether Simon should go get tested to see if he really could get the job done was not considered helpful by anyone. They would start up again as soon as Mairi thought she was fertile. I would stay cut off for another month. Now blow jobs are great, but when that's all you get, and your wife is saving the real thing for someone else, you're not going to be a happy camper, and I wasn't. Ellie, bless her heart, wished she could help, but there was nothing she could do. I did think of asking her to spend those nights with me instead of Mairi and Simon, but I couldn't do that to her. She was happy for the first time in months, and I didn't want to bring her down. I enjoyed spending more time with the kids, while their mother was otherwise occupied.

Mairi did get pregnant during my second Week of Hell, and when she found out, everyone was deliriously happy. Including me, because it meant the end of both Mairi fucking Simon, and my involuntary celibacy. I made Ellie and Simon leave the celebration dinner early, even before the kids were in bed, I was so eager to finally have Mairi to myself. We made long, sweet love, and I heard the strains of "Eileen Aroon" as she cleaned up.

"It's so good to be home," she whispered as we dropped off to sleep. I was a happy man that night, as I thought of all the reasons I was glad I'd married her.

I remember a few incidents from Mairi's pregnancy.

We were cuddled in bed, and I'd been rubbing Mairi's back and shoulders and wherever else she hurt.

"You miss them, don't you." It wasn't a question.

Tears filled her eyes and she made a little choking noise as she nodded.

"But Brian, when I was with them, I missed you more."

"Oh?"

"It was different, especially having another woman love me, and having two people at once. I'd never imagined doing that before. I liked it. But then I'd look around, and I'd go, 'But where's Brian?' And Ellie would take her hand and put it over my heart and she'd say, 'He's with us, Mairi, he's right here.' And I'd be okay."

She turned in my arms to look me in the eye. "You are my rock, Brian. I couldn't do this without you."

"What if I'm not as solid as you think? What if it turns out I can't handle this?"

She smiled. "I know you better than you know yourself, remember? You're my man in a million. You've never let me down, and I know you won't let me down now."

Mairi's pregnancy had just begun to show. I heard Simon and Ellie in the house, so I came downstairs to say hi. Simon had an arm around Mairi's waist, and his other hand was rubbing her barely-there baby bump. Mairi was pushing it into his hand and giggling. Exactly as she'd done with me, when she was pregnant with our kids.

"Hey, hands off! She's still MY wife!" I shouted at him.

"Sorry, man," he said, pulling his hands away from Mairi as if she were a hot potato and putting them in his pockets. Mairi turned and faced me, with her hand on her belly.

"Yes, I'm your wife, now and always, but this is his child."

I looked at the two of them, standing as close together as a couple, almost daring me to come between them. I made a to-hell-with-it gesture and went outdoors to find something to do in the yard. Nobody seemed to miss me.

"Brian, he wasn't hurting anything," Mairi complained that night. "This is hard for me, too, having to keep both of you happy. You don't have to make it worse."

"You didn't look like it was hard for you this morning."

"It wasn't, until you did your cave man routine."

I was proud of myself. I didn't say a word; I just rolled onto my side away from her. After a moment, her hand came softly to rest on my shoulder, and her breasts pressed into my back as she curled herself around me.

"Brian, I'm sorry. Please forgive me. That was hurtful and wrong. You're nothing like a cave man. We all know that, and we know you're stressed. Ellie keeps reminding me you're the one who takes on all the hurt and gets nothing for it, and she's right. If you can just be patient for a few more months, this will be over and we'll be back to how we were, except Ellie will be over the moon happy."

"It's nice one of us thinks that. I don't think we'll ever be the same again."

We'd been over at Ellie and Simon's for dinner. It was the kids' bedtime, but Mairi was deep in some discussion with them that didn't involve me. I think it was about baby-room furniture. It was obviously going to go on for a while, so I took Ben and Gillian home. I was dreaming about making love with my wife, then watching through the bathroom doorway as she brushed out her hair, a sweet smile on her face, humming "Eileen Aroon." I half woke.

She was standing in the bathroom light, brushing out her hair, a sweet smile on her face, humming "Eileen Aroon," just as I'd dreamed. Only if she'd just made love, it wasn't with me.

"Did you have a good time with Simon and Ellie?" I asked.

"Oh, yes," she smiled. "We got the colors all... what's the matter, Brian? Why are you looking at me like that?"

"I just had a dream. We were making love, just like we used to, before... all this. You were in the bathroom, brushing your hair and humming, like you used to after. Except we didn't make love, that part was just a dream. So tonight, did you get what you've been missing from our bed?" My voice was low and harsh with my pain.

"Oh, no, Brian, no!" Mairi's face lost its color as she ran to the bed and threw herself on top of me. "No, Brian, I would never do that to you! No, you mustn't even think it. You remember I sang that song to Ellie when she was a baby, and the little sister I love is so happy these days, that it all came back. Brian, I love you far too much to ever do that to you."

"I once thought you loved me too much to... oh, never mind." I gently rolled her off me onto her side and held her while our tears flowed.

"What would ever make you think I could even think of doing something like that?"

"Mairi, I'm feeling more and more left out of things. It's you three together, and then me. I've watched the kids more these last few months than in their whole lives. I don't mind that, but there's a bond, a love, really, that the three of you share that I'm left out of, while I'm told off to watch the kids. I didn't tell you, but the other day when we were all at the park a woman came up to me and commented on what a nice family you all were, as if I had nothing to do with you, and asked me which of you was Simon's wife. Mairi, will I ever get my wife back from Simon, or will it always be like this?"

For once, Mairi actually thought for a few moments before she said anything.

"Ellie and I are closer than we ever were, as I told you. I feel close to Simon too. I know you don't believe there's such a thing as 'just sex,' and neither do I. I can't make love with a person without feeling close to them. I think that's why I didn't conceive during that first week when Simon and I tried. The second week, that closeness was there, and we made a child together. That's part of the bond, too; I'm carrying his child. That part will go away when the baby's born, but I hope we'll stay close, all four of us.

"I hadn't noticed you being left out, but now that I think about it, I see what you mean. I'm sorry; I never intended that. It must be pretty serious if it left you thinking I could cheat on you. I'll make sure things are different. I love you, so very much. You're my man in a million, and I never want you to forget it. I've thought of something that I think will remind you..." She was correct. And this time, when she hummed "Eileen Aroon" as she combed out her hair, it was for me.

She tried. I would be sitting in my chair and suddenly feel warm hands on my shoulders, and see my beautiful wife looking at me with all her love in her eyes. She had always been affectionate with me; she became even more so. And she made sure I never wanted for anything in the bedroom. She was doing everything she could in bed and out of it to make sure I knew she loved me, and it was definitely working. There were times I actually believed we might survive this with our marriage intact.

We were all having dinner together one night when Simon had to go be a MacTavish again. I don't remember exactly what he said, something about if Gillian kept counting those beans she could be just as good as her bean-counting Dad. I saw him wince when Ellie kicked him under the table. I looked over at Mairi to see if she was laughing. She wasn't. She stood up, her eyes flashing fire.

"Simon MacTavish, you hear me and you hear me well. Brian couldn't go to college like you and I did, because his parents died when he was young, and instead of hitting up his aunt and uncle for money, he went into construction and helped support them. When he couldn't work construction any more because of an accident that was someone else's fault, he learned a whole new field to support himself and his family. He's ten times a better husband, father, and man, than you'll ever be. If you can't speak of him with respect, you've no business in my house!"

She sat down, flushed and panting. Ellie looked at me, then gently tapped her fork on her water glass. Next thing I knew, Mairi had my face between her hands, and her tongue was diving for my tonsils. I think it was one of the ten hottest kisses the world has ever known. We'd have kept going, except Ben interrupted us.

"Mom? Dad? We're trying to eat here." That broke the mood. But once we were alone in the bedroom, the fire was back in Mairi's eyes as she proceeded to thoroughly ravish me. I wasn't exactly sure that a pregnant woman should do all the things she did that night, but I wasn't about to argue.

We lay quietly, after I'd watched her brush out her hair, humming "Eileen Aroon." "What was that all about?"

She gently took my face between her hands and smiled into my eyes. "I love you with all of my heart. I am yours, forever and always. And I'll do everything I can to make sure you know it."

Still, it was more and more obvious that Mairi, Ellie, and Simon shared a bond that excluded me. How could it have been otherwise, really? Ellie was happier than I'd ever seen her, in spite of the obvious fact that Simon was falling in love with Mairi. I couldn't blame him; Mairi absolutely glowed as an expectant mom, just as she had with our kids. What did she feel for him? I didn't dare ask. At least, not while she was carrying his baby.

I hadn't wanted to be there for the birth, but Mairi became almost frantic.

"Brian, please, you have to be there. You have to. Simon and Ellie haven't done this; they don't know how. You have. They don't know me like you do. I'll be so frightened if you're not there. Please, please, you were so good for me with Ben and Gillian, I know I'll need you. Please say you'll come."

I sighed. Family. "All right, I'll be there. I thought it might be awkward with Simon and Ellie being there and me having nothing to do with the baby, but I'll do it for you." My beautiful wife subsided into my lap, one hand on her now-prominent baby bump, the other arm wrapped around my neck as if it were her life line. I felt her need as a physical presence. She was my wife; I would not let her down.

The delivery was fairly easy, as such things go. Simon and Ellie were in the room, but I sat in the chair next to Mairi, holding her hand and her eyes with mine, coaching her through her pains. She was right; I'd done this for her before, neither Simon nor Ellie would have done as well. I was glad I'd agreed to it: for once, I had the complete attention of my wife when Simon was in the room.