Last Months in the City Ch. 03

"Don't you have somewhere to be, Rach." Chris replied, as Jamie just gave a simple, "Thanks again for having me."

He got down, awkwardly standing by the car as the two exchanged some parting words along with a hug. He even saw Rachel slip Chris some cash- presumably the rest of what their parents had given her for lunch. Chris refused of course, but was met with the same wooden smirk that meant it wasn't up for discussion. He slipped the cash in his pocket and gave his sister a hug before she drove off.

Chris stood next to Jamie, saying, "Thanks again for going along with all of this- though I don't think she would've given you much choice."

Jamie chuckled, "It was nice, really."

The two stood there for a little bit longer, feeling the breeze pick up as it rolled in from the beach twenty odd blocks away. Chris reached for his keys and dangled them in his pocket, "Guess I'll see you around?"

"Uh- yeah. I'll see ya." He replied, taking the hint that their day together- and any hope of seeing where they stood- was over.

Jamie didn't like the uncertainty. He always tended to see things in black and white. And Chris- no matter how charming or attractive he was, was just too much grey for him to handle. He'd already met some of his family and had the boy open himself up more than his usual sex partners go. This wasn't what he sought out that night at Bitter End. He needed something quick and casual, and if he was being honest with himself, this thing with Chris was turning into more than just friends with benefits. He couldn't have more right now- not with a plane ticket reminding him that any time with him would be limited. Chris deserved more than a ticking time bomb.

He needed to talk to someone, so he called for an uber and made his way across the park, plugging in Marissa's address which he'd known by heart.

***

After a leisurely stroll through residential San Francisco, he eventually made it to her neighborhood on the edge of the Sunset. Marissa answered the door in a tank top and sweatpants, wearing those hipster glasses that perfectly framed her hazel eyes.

She led them back to her living room which was littered with dog toys. Jamie took a seat on that familiar couch- the one that he spent so much time on during their college days and which Riss had inherited and brought over here.

"Where is everyone?" he asked, noticing her sister and brother-in-law were nowhere to be found.

"They took Bolt out for a walk in the park and probably won't get back 'til late." She sat down beside him, and took a sip of the ginger ale she'd poured into a glass. "So what's up with this random visit out to the 'burbs? Not that I mind, of course."

Jamie held onto the soft pillow, replying, "I need to tell you something."

She unfolded her hands, "Spill your guts."

Jamie sighed, not really sure how to phrase this. He knew better than to dance around subjects with Marissa- she'd had a streak of weaning information out of people without the need to walk on eggshells.

"I'm leaving, Riss. For good."

Marissa dropped her plastic cup, spilling the drink all over the hardwood floor. She didn't even move to try and pick it up, asking, "What- what do you mean that you're leaving?"

Jamie jumped to the bundle of napkins sitting at the edge of the coffee table and got down on his knees, wiping away the mess. She tapped on the table, raising her voice a little, "Christ Jamie, just leave it!" He turned to face her, discarding the soiled napkins aside.

"I'm moving back home." He stammered, "I bought my ticket last week."

She ran her fingers through her hair, massaging her scalp, "But- but why? I thought you loved living here."

"I did" Jamie said, sinking into the floor, "I really did for a while." He leaned his back against her couch, "But ever since graduation, it's felt like I'm just trying to make this work and it's just not fucking working anymore."

Jamie felt like he'd twisted the bottle of a liter of soda he'd been shaking for the past twelve months. He felt tears at his eyes as Marissa curled up next to him, "I'm stuck at this job full of people who give a shit about my ideas or if I even show up that day and then go back to an apartment that's too small and I pay way too much for. And at the end of it all, who do I really have?"

Marissa responded, "You have us."

He shook his head, "I know that, Riss, I know." He sunk his head down, "But it's not the same." Jamie paused, "Garrett and Kev are both in relationships. And you've got this thing going on with Casey- plus your sister and brother-in-law are here."

"I haven't even seen my family since December and I'm just so fucking exhausted." Marissa held onto her friend as he wept, "I tried it out for a year and I failed, Riss."

"You didn't fail, Jamie." She said, holding onto him like his life depended on it. "You just need a reset- a new place to stay, a new job." She pleaded, "You don't have to leave."

"We've talked about this!" He said, pulling away slightly. "That night at the tiki bar! You guys gave me reasons to stay- you said that things would be the same as they were." He sighed, "But they're not." Jamie shrugged his shoulders, "We see each other maybe once a week if we're lucky and we have dinner every month, and I'm reminded how things are taking off for all of you guys." Jamie forced himself to smile, "And I'm happy that they are! I'm happy for all of you."

"But it just hasn't worked out for me in the same way."

Marissa retired to the couch and motioned to Jamie who joined her, laying his head on her lap. This was probably the most comfort he'd felt in such a long time, reeling from the catharsis of unleashing everything he'd been holding onto for the past year.

"Is there anything I can say to change your mind?" She asked in a whisper.

Jamie shook his head softly, "Not right now, no."

Marissa nodded, knowing better than to push him any further. She watched her friend soothe himself away from the grief and after a while, she nudged him softly on the shoulder. "Do you want to crash here tonight?"

Jamie got up, taking notice of the setting sun, "No, I'll be good. I should get back anyway." He started to gather his things while Marissa held onto his wrist.

"I may not be fully okay with you leaving just yet, but when that day comes. I'll be there, and I'll drop you to the airport and say a goodbye to everything we have together here."

He swallowed down, not sure he had any more tears left in him.

"Thanks Riss. I love you."

She let go, replying, "I love you too Jamie."

***

Jamie had been working on a set of drawings for the entire morning, having to go back and forth with Hailey, one of his coworkers who was only a few years older than him. He remembered his first day here- having landed an internship at the start of his last semester of college. He showed up early and dressed in the finest clothes his miniscule bank account could offer. Hailey was there with a bright smile, telling him that as per their company tradition, she would be his "buddy". She leaned in, saying, "Think of it as having someone you can turn to if you ever need anything." Hailey even took him on a work-sponsored lunch as a gesture to welcome him to the company. Jamie felt good about that first day, hoping that if he worked hard and showed enough promise, they'd keep him around full time.

The first few weeks of that semester were slow moving at the company, as the newness of it all started to fade. Even Hailey's wide smile had since been long gone, trading it in for a cold greeting every time she came through the door. He could tell that she didn't like him, and he truthfully couldn't care less. He was here to work, and if that meant spending the day in silence at his beat-up workstation, then so be it. But there was barely any work to be had. He and Hailey both answered to the same supervisor who worked from home more often than not. And with the two of them basically supervising themselves, the senior Hailey often dished out tasks, leaving Jamie with the most mundane work she could pull together. Still, he insisted that this was a part of him paying his dues.

That was over a year ago. He looked over at the set of drawings he barely contributed to, realizing that he'd been wasting away at this company, still doing the work he'd previously done as an intern. All the while, his friends were getting raises and better titles. It was just another item on his list of reasons to leave.

By the time work had ended, Jamie hopped onto the retro cable car that took him back up Market street. He transferred onto the crowded bus heading back towards his place, determined to salvage what was left of this shitty day. After a quick shower and change out of the work clothes that desperately smelled of seawater and stale coffee, he changed into a more comfortable sweater and pair of joggers. He even made a pit-stop to Gregorio's next door, getting a high five from the man himself as he wrung up Jamie's pizza order before cleaning up to toss a few more mounds of dough.

Pizza in hand, Jamie strolled over to Chris' apartment and pressed that familiar buzzer. He said a simple "It's Jamie" after an unknowing Chris asked who was at the door. There was a pause- almost as if Chris was checking his phone to see if he'd missed a text or something. He opened the door anyway and waited just at the threshold while Jamie came up the stairs.

"You sure you're not at the wrong hook-up's house?" Chris said with his arms folded as he leaned against the doorframe.

Jamie cracked a sly smile, as he retorted, "I'll have you know, I don't bring pizza to just anyone." He pulled the box into view and opened the lid, hitting Chris in the face with the aroma that seemed to fill the entire narrow hallway.

"He comes bearing gifts." he said, leaning in to get a good whiff. He pulled a slice and took a bite, nearly able to jump rope with the strand of melted cheese that stuck to the box. "How'd you know I'm a pepperoni-black olive-mushroom kinda guy?"

Jamie leaned forward and snuck a bite of the slice that hung off Chris' hand. "I didn't" he replied as Chris swatted away his second attempt at a bite, "It just happens to be my favorite."

Chris smiled as he led them back to his living room, and grabbed a second slice.

"No roommate?" Jamie asked as he helped himself.

The younger boy replied, "His girlfriend lives in Concord, so he spends all of his free time there."

"Lucky bastard" he said, "before my roommate moved out, he spent every waking moment at that apartment. I swear he even stocked up on those frozen TV Dinners so he never had to leave."

Chris laughed, "How do you like living alone now?"

"Lonely at times" Jamie responded, not sure why he chose to be so honest. He put down his slice, and held onto his knees, "I've been there for over three years, but it still doesn't feel like it's mine, you know?"

Chris nodded, "Is that what sparked this impromptu hang out?"

"Partly" he admitted. Jamie turned to the boy, explaining, "I just had a pretty shitty day at work and I assumed that maybe yours was rough as well." He formed a smirk, "Hopefully they'd cancel each other out cause PEMDAS or some shit like that."

Chris squinted his eyes as he laughed loudly, "Did you just throw in some fucking math mnemonic device?" Jamie nodded with a smile as the lighter boy admitted, "That's brilliant." He got up and walked over to his fridge, gesturing to Jamie as he held out a bottle of blue moon to which the boy nodded. He came back with two in hand and the boys clinked their glasses together before taking a sip.

"For the record, I did have a shitty day." Chris went in for another sip, "But it's ending pretty nice." Jamie just smiled as he drank his beer. "So why was your day so terrible?"

Jamie shrugged, "Work's just become this mundane thing I have to do- kinda like folding laundry or going to the grocery store." He sat cross-legged as he turned to the boy, "But it's not supposed to be like that- you know? You're supposed to get up excited to go to work and be passionate about what you do- at least that's how I felt back at school."

"What's to say you're not just in this funk? That, in time, things will reignite?"

"That's the thing" he said, pointing his beer, "It's felt like that for the past year." Jamie shrugged his shoulders, "Maybe i've been holding onto a losing hand because i've been too stubborn to fold."

Chris shook his head and leaned closer to the boy, "Life isn't like poker, Jamie. Just cause shit isn't working out now, that doesn't mean it won't work out ever." He rested his head on the couch, mirroring how Jamie had been leaning as he listened to the beautiful boy beside him.

"Wanna know a secret?"

Jamie nodded as Chris continued, "I didn't wanna go to USF." He put his beer down, "Hell I only really applied cause all my friends did and it was one of the few nearby schools that didn't have any special requirements for applying." Chris turned to the boy once more, "But I'm glad I did because I got rejected from all three of my dream schools."

Jamie's eyes went wide, "Jesus, all three?"

Chris nodded, "The school that was supposed to be my back-up became my only option."

"But you ended up liking it?"

Chris replied, "Oh I loved it, dude. I made some great friends, enjoyed my classes, got to move here." He patted Jamie's shoulder, "But none of that would have happened if things turned out how I expected them to."

Jamie looked into those deep brown eyes, admiring Chris for telling him his truth. He'd kept the same group of friends for so many years that he forgot what it was like to learn someone for the first time- to read everything in their story from the pages reflected in their eyes. That was Chris- an enigma he was trying to crack but an open book at the same time.

"You've got a lot of wisdom for a youngster." Jamie teased.

Chris smiled, leaving Jamie even more enamored than ever. He loved making Chris smile. The younger boy reminded, "I'm only a year younger than you."

Jamie sat back into the comfortable sofa, looking over at the cute boy whose smile was infectious and seemed to soothe away the pains of a stressful Friday at work.

"I wish I knew you back then." Jamie admitted, unable to believe that the two of them had existed in the same miniscule campus without ever crossing paths. "Maybe we could have had this sooner." He said, before trailing off as he remembered he was speaking aloud.

It was Chris' turn to guess. What did Jamie mean by "this"- what even was this? He caught himself saying the same thing last week outside the Chinese restaurant but was saved by Rachel. He hoped the other boy didn't catch that. He gave Jamie the same opportunity to retract what he said, leaving the room quiet with only the sound of Ubers driving by and the faint beat of a pop song coming off the bar a block away.

Jamie decided to show Chris what he meant.

He straddled the boy's lap, gripping onto his jaw between his thumb and forefinger. He pulled Chris into a kiss- one that told him what he needed to know- answering the question left abandoned last week- and the one he chose not to abandon five minutes ago.

Chris kissed back, running his fingers through the boy's black hair, leaving the aroma of coconut wafting through the apartment. It was a kiss unlike what he'd been used to. It was like Jamie's lips were perfectly wrapped up in a million little promises- little pristine ribbons that he wanted to unfold and discover. It wasn't a kissed used to initiate sex, or some meaningless act out of obligation- Jamie wanted this. And Chris- having been burned by the hook-up culture he felt his millennial-self trapped in- knew better than to read too much into these things. But Jamie wasn't making it any easier. If he was being honest with himself, he truly believed that Jamie wanted more.

So he let go.

Chris ran his hands through the boy's sculpted frame- near miles worth of roasted coffee skin that tasted of comfort and ease. He touched the boy the way he wanted to, not afraid to let his hands linger in places usually left for more committed situations. He even let himself indulge on the boy's tongue that seemed to be as hungry as he was. The one thing he didn't do was dare question where this was going- because at this point in time, a simple "are you sure" could be an emergency brake into what felt like a high speed chase.

"Let's go to my room." The lighter boy said as he eased off Jamie's warm thighs and walked them into the bedroom, holding the boy's hand.

Chris laid the boy down, pinning him with his palms as we kissed along his neck and down his torso. He didn't stop until he could cup the tent in Jamie's pants, seeing that imprint on his dark jeans before unbuttoning the top and letting it free. He held onto the shaft, kissing along the tip leaving strands of precum coating his lips. He loved the way Jamie tasted- that salty sweet mix of juices that always left him wanting more. The darker boy ran his fingers through Chris' hair, affectionately encouraging the boy who tasted as much as he wanted to.

"You look so good." Jamie said, heavy of breath and full of too many emotions. He made sure not to add, "sucking my dick" to the end of his statement, because Chris did look good- not just when they were in the middle of sex, but all the time. He'd savored those moments in their morning bus rides when the boy hadn't quite wiped the sleep away from his eyes or the boyish grin that swept across his face when something was remotely funny.

Chris smiled in thanks before taking down more of Jamie's dick, feeling the tip lightly press against the back of his throat in success. He focused on that cock while Jamie fished out his, and soon the two went to work, determined to make the other feel good. This lasted for a while until the room was filled with ambient yellow light and the sounds of slurping until Jamie broke the motions and planted a wet kiss across Chris' mouth.

"I need more." he said simply. Jamie stood at the edge of the bed and stripped away his jeans while Chris did the same. They shamelessly checked each other out, with the tanned boy biting down on his lips while he looked over Chris' impeccably white skin- like his favorite milk tea order. He motioned for the headboard as the younger boy cleared away the few pillows to make room.

Chris leaned into the hardwood, feeling the cold surface against his bare back. He watched Jamie crawl his way to him, feeling those pronounced cheeks that were begging to be spread open. Jamie kissed at the boy's warm inner thighs before sucking on his dripping cock some more. He rolled back the tip, watching that excess skin bundle just under the head where he dipped his tongue repeatedly. He pressed lightly on the shaft, applying pressure to get the last droplets of precum out, all while Chris steadily moaned in bated breath.

But Jamie didn't want to end this with just a blowjob. He straddled the boy's hips, leaning in to kiss him while Chris' thick cock burrowed its way between Jamie's cheeks. He paid extra attention to the boy- kissing him, fondling his body and making as much eye contact as possible- because deep down he needed to prove that he wasn't just here for sex. Chris had become this new addition to his life and he somehow needed to tell the boy he wasn't just an object- without so much as saying those words aloud.

Jamie reached back and took hold of Chris' cock and rolled a condom over his length until it was wrapped up like a present for him. After a generous amount of lube, he took hold of it and slowly lowered himself down until he could feel Chris' short, trimmed pubes on his ass.

"Fuck" he moaned out, feeling that thick cock inside of him. It had been nearly a week since they'd switched roles and truth was, his tight hole still wasn't used to Chris' size- if it was ever going to be.