All Comments on 'Last Night with You Ch. 02'

One cheater thinking the other cheater is so respectful and such a good person!!!! He only happens to be cheating on his wife!!! And she was to a good wife and a good person...Only happens she is cheating on her husband!!! What a pair!!!! And to ruin it all she is telling him what he his living!!! What a sad tale...1*

Leave out the one or two very minor references to the married state of the first-person and second-person characters, and this would be an Erotic Coupling story rather than Loving Wives. They could just as easily be a pair of single co-workers at a conference.

Will there be a further chapter that has them returning to their spouses and the work environment? (It would be a bit difficult to do that within the second-person story genre.)

For a story to explore 'extra-marital fun' as included in the LW definition, I would like to see a lot more of the 'extra-marital' aspect as well as the erotic 'fun'.

But because the author did a good job of second-person story telling, I gave it five stars.

L

I don't understand the problem here.

Oh, wait a minute. Don't tell me these two people want to fuck each other whenever and wherever they can, but they don't want their spouses to find out. And I'm just guessing, but I'm pretty sure they don't want their spouses to be fucking other people behind their backs. Isn't that being kind of selfish, dishonest, or cheating? But they purport to respect each other so much. Is that like honor among thieves? Maybe they have so little self respect that they think they are only worthy to fuck someone equally lacking in respect. They are right.

So, if they are just two more cheaters fucking over their spouses, then what is special about this story? I guess the only suspense is will he miss his plane? Two dogs passing in an alley and stopping to fuck are about as interesting and erotic as this couple. Fail.

Why is she still married to "husband" Who only warrants a single line.

I also wonder what she would say if "husband" was found kissing his super hot co-worker (just kissing no sex)?

Not a single, likeable character in this mess. Not fun or entertaining to read.

You are a good writer. The critics really don't get it so don't let them discourage you. The story is your own and is really beyond any worthwhile criticism. Stories such as the one you write are "real" in the sense that they do happen along the lines of your fictional tale and are therefore worth sharing regardless of how readers react to the plot. They (the critics) might as well just pretend that things like this don't happen and go on their way. So far as suggestions about your style, I might have preferred a standard first person(more of a general narration not specifically directed to her lover; after all, he knows what happened) or a third person omniscient (i.e. narrator can describe any aspect of any event, character, emotion, etc.) point of view. Perhaps other readers would disagree. In any event, well done.

Oh hell, I have to agree with Our again. There is no loving wife in this story, just a common we hore.

Not much of a story here. Just an interlude.