All Comments on 'Lauren'

Great story.Thanks.

Great story great ending

Great story

I really liked it

Hope to see more stories from you

An absolutely masterful work!

A well crafted story, with some humour, and some sadness wrapped up in a decent plot.

The story is so engaging and well written. Most authors will be impressed with the way you have laid out the story where at times while reading you can almost visualize the scene.

fantastic job, going to see if you have more stories.

You're my new favorite author! All of your stories are great I'm my book.

Firstly, thank you for another great story... you're quickly becoming one of my favourite writers on here.

This story struck me hard on a personal level. My mum was diagnosed with brain tumour February of this year. They gave her 3-4 months... 6 if we were lucky. She passed away in August. My mum's birthday is 10th January...

I was pleased the story didn't end as expected, when Lauren and Mark's relationship changed. The introduction of Lauren's ex-husbands ex, Crystal, was a nice twist. As was the revelation of the obvious attraction between Mark and Jennifer. I also enjoyed how Mark, Jennifer, Lauren and Crystal ended up as confidants with such trust. Unfortunately, dad is left out of this little circle out of necessity. *5-stars*

Well crafted, complex and interesting,,,, kept turning new corners that were believable

Thank you

So many holes, so little reality, so much fun! add well written and the whole of the improbable goes out the window, this is a fun story that lives by its own rules.

(if the town is so rural and out of it how does it have a multi attorney law firm? Why didn't someone offer that 240 pound superhuman a scholarship, I know some real rockheads that have gone on scholarship. We won't even go into the dynamics of the main sex encounter . . ) Still great fun is to be had in a world we all wish we could inhabit.

Or was that wickedly wonderful... Regardless; it’s great to read a well crafted story! Thank you!

Never thought I would be interested enough to read an 8 page story but this was so good I simply had to read to the end. I'm the same age as the dad in the story so I have some experience with good and bad erotica and this truly was one of the best. Well done from TN.

That was a glorious story. Warm, believable characters, good sex and a lot of wit. Congratulations!

Well the simple answer is a very good well written story.

I got a bit lost somewhere in the middle and had to go back and recap but I think that is more about 4 hours sleep a night for the last week.

One or two things didn't really add up like, as another has already pointed out, this big law firm in a sleepy backwater. These didn't spoil the plot however.

Although completely different this made me remember fondly a mature 'friend of the family' who after servicing me for some six months revealed she had been seeing my father for a year.

I normally don't get to read past about 3 to 4 pages but this had me hooked from the first to the last word.

As a 63 yo man I can truly say I experienced all of the emotions and started welling up a couple of times.

I don't normally bother logging in to comment but YuDidWhut, YuCertainlyDeserveASignatureForThis

Harvey_32

What an entertaining story. This story was the sports car analogy used to depict two different women. It moved at a nice pace, had enjoyable twists and turns while producing a light hearted read (with the exception of the mother dying).

Keep writing. I’m looking forward to more of your work.

Thanks

The excellent writing, risible plot and great sex scenes are kind of a given, especially from the other comments already made.

What you ALSO managed was to make me shed a tear (or two - I'm admitting to no more than that!) with the death of the mother. That was way too close to what happened with my ex-wife and brought back some sore memories; still, life goes on and I really loved the story, so thank you for writing it.

Thank you for sharing your story.

I keep reading and each time gets better

Thank you for sharing - please keep them coming.

Shoot YouDisWhut, I am sorry to tell you that I didn’t care for this tale as much as your others. I found your first affair with the young man and next door lady went on for too long. Normally you say it and move on but this time it lingered past the point of interest. Well defined characters and I loved the teasing between the siblings. I know other readers will say I am a stick in the mud but I say everything to bring ideas to your writing. Thanks.

Quite a yarn with a lot of twists and turns. Some felt it was too long. I don’t, as there were several dynamics to cover to bring the story to a satisfactory conclusion.

Says it all

Awesome story

But you ended it way too soon! I mean there were so many great details that you could have shared with your readers. You have three wonderful and interesting couples that you really need to bring along and share with us where life takes them. Please reconsider adding at least another chapter to finish out one of the best stories that I have had the privilege to read on here. Thanks for all of the great stories of yours that I have read so far. I have enjoyed them very much!

It doesn’t matter the genre.. gotta have action to keep it interesting some comedy because who doesn’t like to laugh and if you can tug on some heartstrings you’ve got yourself a winner!

This is one of my favorite stories! I think I've read and re-read this story a half dozen times. Reading it makes me feel like I'm reminiscing over my younger days and the amazing shit I used to get myself into. Thank God for maturity, Literotica, and YouDidWhut. Fun and entertaining writing!

I loved the story .now we need a story about crystal that you can share we everyone

This is by far the best story we have read on this site. We were browsing when we came across this one and was going to save it for tomorrow. Here it is 1:15 am and we have to get up at 6. We are very much looking forward to reading all your work.....thanks for a truly heartfelt story....Bobbie xoxo

Probably not a word use most often around here, but I really enjoyed that story. Even though there’s not a lot of sex, the characters motives and thoughts created a very engaging story. The pre wedding talk gave me goosebumps.

Amazing story & keep it up!

I love this story with all of it's twists and turns.

I'm quite an idealist; I really like reading about stories where relationships thrive and continue when they really wouldn't in the real world. About halfway through this story when *it* happened, I was initially perturbed. It's not usually the kind of twist I like reading nor do I encourage a story to take that path. With that said, as I read further, this was one of the stories where I really didn't mind! I liked Lauren, I thought she was a sweet woman who was dealt a bad hand but as the story continued to unfold, I realized this was probably the better branch for the story to extend to. Great job, my friend!

I have enjoyed all three of your stories I have read. You have talent and a good heart. I saw the first twist coming a long way off and you all but told us. Crystal was a wonderful surprise.

I really enjoyed this one. I intend to read all of your stories on here. Keep up the good work.

Fantastic read and very well written.

Loved it

I have never been into the piercings and tattoos. In my experience, girls who get them are also much looser sexually. I do know that guys who have trouble picking up hot women, like them because it gives them the illusion of having a chance. The looser the woman, the more he believes he also has a chance with her. But, since I never struggled to get hot women, I find myself more attracted to women who appear to be far more selective about who they sleep with. Not selective in the way many women are selective...as in only sleeping with the hottest guys...because IMHO, that isn't really being selective. I prefer the women who hold out for serious relationships before having sex. Seems to be more of a challenge.

I liked this story overall, and gave 5 stars, but I would have liked to see more of an emphasis on her being more of a good girl, so to speak. I would have liked to see him being more of a pursuer, and her holding back, but it was really just the opposite. She actually pursued quite heavily. Takes a bit away from her innocence. I know that the likelihood of a woman as hot as her, only having been with just her husband, is slim, but that's what makes it more fun as a fantasy.

happy an lite endings!!!! good thoughts i'm feeling from reading....

happy writing to you cuzz your good at it!!!!

This started out great. Kinda cute actually. Then our author here started in writing a teen with super powers that talked like edward g robinson, etc.

Really, you know just how to fck up a good story. Why bother with having a teen protagonist if he acts, sounds, and performs like a A-list pornstar? The whole charm is the sweetness that can pass between a teen-man and the mature woman.

I might comback to finish this but I doubt it.

But kinda disappointing how it ended up. Confusing and I don't know what I wanted, but not this. I guess I wanted Lauren to be more important to the story and different from how it turned out. Dad??? Why? Maybe Lauren was much like my wife very satisfied with once a month...I sure the fuck wasn't!

It slowly developed into all family incest orgy. And it was going so great.

I really liked this story, the characters were more believable; Mark did not have a 14" long dick and the women did not squirt buckets everywhere.

Seriously though, the story developed well with interesting turns.

I sort of agree with some comments that the ending was a little suburban but a minor point.

Overall it is well written and kept my interest throughout.

What a great story ! Thanks !

I liked the story but I felt like it was too long. The narration was very good. It was also missing sex. I felt like it was having too many secrets which in real life are not going kept as secrets for that long. I lliked Jen & Lauren’s character.

Just the right amount of sex with a good story to tie it all together. Nice job.

Great story.... Would make a better movie!!!

I really enjoyed this story.Nice length and the right amount of good sex.

But the sex happens MUCH too fast every time.

I have read many stories. This is the best i have ever read on this site. Wow, just Wow.

Well written but the characters were awful and the incest part ruined it.

It started well enough and is written very well but by far the worst storyline of all your submissions

I do love a well told story,

thank you

Great way to skirt the edge of incest and yet create love.

i thought it was well written,also glad that you didn't have the sister and brother get together as i think it would of ruined the story.

Beautiful story and great characters. Wow.

Very well written story. Very hot at times too. Characters were great.

for a story that is remarkable for having a series of unbelievable events as it's basis, this is a damn good story. Why not add a chapter 2 where after the father dies, and Lauren moves in with one of the happy couples?

This is the kind of story that I look for on Literotica, and so seldom find. The characters were engaging, the action was hot and exciting. As another poster noted, it was a string of a number of unusual events, but they all fit together remarkably well. You could safely add a second chapter, but the character arcs are complete. Mark and Lauren and Brandon, Crystal and Jen and Bill. If I wanted to nit-pick, I could, but there's too much to enjoy. Even the point where Mark and Lauren begin to separate... it was handled well and with consideration. It was something they both knew would happen, though that didn't make it any easier. Again, kudos. Very well done and very enjoyable.

Normally I scroll to the bottom and see how long a story is, and 8 pages would be too long. But luckily I read to the bottom (instead of scrolled) and was invested by the time I got to the bottom of page 1 and over 2 sittings and 2 devices, I read the story and voted twice for 10 total stars.

I loved how the first part was graphic and arousing, and the second half saw the characters tie up the story. By the second half of the story, I didn't even care if there was sex or not. This story was messed up enough, yet totally believable which is why I HAD to finish reading it!

The emotions and feelings were real. I can remember being Mark's age and fantasizing about a particular MILF. I can remember the heartbreak surrounding loss, and the thrill of love. It was so well done.

SPOILER ALERT:

I was slightly confused as to how Crystal knew she was a homewrecker well after Lauren knew all about Crystal, but since I didn't read it straight through maybe missed Ken was with another and not Lauren when Crystal confronted him. But then I realized, I just didn't care. It wasn't worth dwelling on. And thanks for not cheapening the story with Jennifer and Mark.

This was an excellent story! I did not expect for this story to end as it did with so many twists but a very enjoyable read! Thanks for writing!

Huh? A Literotica author who knows the difference between "setting" and "sitting," and actually uses both correctly in the same sentence?

From near the middle of page 1:

"Setting the last box of my clothes down I glanced out the window and saw Lauren sitting in a chaise lounge..."

Remarkable!

Paul in Oklahoma

so this one was not one. very disappointing I decided not to vote

Too too long.

First off, I can’t believe people balk at an 8-page story.. who the hell cares? If it’s as highly rated as this story is (#27 I believe on the Mature Tops List) I’m going to read every line to find out why people like it that much. It was engaging from the beginning to the end. I did think it was strange that Lauren would begin to date Mark’s father but hey, it worked out. You could have had a crazy scene where the Dad did find out but the poor guy had been through enough with his wife dying (heavy for erotica) but it worked too. Very well-written, believable characters but I did find the sex lacking a bit in the end. I would have preferred more detail about Mark and Chris. I’m also glad you didn’t take it to full on incest but their teasing each other was funny and not gross because that was supposedly the reason they did it (to try to push it just far enough to get the other to get squeamish. 5-stars and will definitely be back for a re-read in the future. Looking forward to reading more of your work.

Yes, the story is more than two pages, but look at the story that we get, in-depth character buildup and multiple branches that all lead back to the family. The sex was great but not overwhelming, like some stories are. The twists and turns kept things moving right along and very interesting. Kind of glad that Mark and Jennifer didn't muddy up the story with incest but kept it at a naughty teasing level instead. A lot of effort went into writing this and it shows, got to give it all five stars. Thanks

Ending is a bit rushed,especially Jennifer getting married before her brother,with no history of her and Bill did they have jobs,it sounded like Bill was still at college.Also I don't buy Lauren marry an older guy like his dad,He must be at least fifteen years older than her.

Dear Author, Another five star winner! Thank you, jntiques/john

I loved this story. Comments about length are wrong, there isnt a wasted word in the story.

Thanks

Between this, and Bandit are the best stories on this site. I sure wish you would continue writing!

The mark of a great story is whether or not it sticks with you after you read it. This one definitely did. I’ve started wondering if Lauren KNEW she was going to break up with him before they even went on the Caribbean trip.

had more twist than a bowl of noodles but a fun interesting story and 5stars

My heart ached for Mark when Lauren pulled away from him. Been there done that many years ago with an older woman whom I genuinely loved. I can now see with perfect clarity that it had to be, but at the time I was devastated. Great author, to be able to dredge up that kind of feeling in this dirty old man, 40-some years later. Me thinks the author has some first hand experience with this?

any young man dreams of an older woman who takes a fancy to him an treachs him all things carnal !

5 stars.

A well written and easily believable story.

I know some readers lambast authors for using coincidences like Mark meeting Chris later. Calling the authors out as unimaginative cowards etc for not making up some more believable fiction.

But I know from real life experiences that we often meet up with people associated with our past in unconnected ways.

My best childhood friend moved from NZ to Switzerland 30 years ago. I have seen 2 of her nieces as friends on my relatives Facebook page. 1 on my sons page, and 1 on his brother's wife's daughter page. None of them knew of the coincidence before I pointed it out.

My daughter got engaged recently and only at the party found out that her fiancé's Nana was a very good friend of mine.

So these readers who have yet to write their own believable story have the stupidity to demean others who do take the time to write for our appreciation are really merely revealing their own ignorance rather than making any valid critique of the story.

Coincidences happen all the time.

Beautiful story, even with some dark moments. But, real life is like that. I see that some detractors have panned some of the plot lines, but life is often stranger than anything you could think up on your own-and if I recall, you did mention that this was based in part on some real life situations. People can believe it or not, but if the details are correct, then it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks-not that it matters anyway. If they don't like it, they can write their own stories(which they won't. Too easy to bitch about someone else's). In the end, it worked out for everyone, though I'm still feeling a little pain for Mark losing Lauren. But sometimes people you encounter have their purpose, and it seems his was to get her out of the hole she was in following her breakup. It did seem like they had a real connection, but that time was what it was, and had passed. So it goes....sigh!!

As for length, it takes what it takes. I often cringe at a long story-anything more than about three pages, since a lot of them are not that well written-but this one used its 8 pages well, and could possibly have been longer. I saw that someone rated you 2, saying it was too long. Poor reason to tank someone's score. You always have the option of stopping the effort if you feel it's taking too long.

A beautiful and hot story.

Lauren and Mark had no future as a couple. And it's wonderful that they maintained a good and friendly relationship.

It's great that the women and Mark have such openness and honesty.

It's a bit of a shame that there was no sex with Jennifer. The story would have been even spicier and hotter.

But maybe there's more to come?

Maybe there's a sequel. 😜

Amazing story!

Honestly, started great but immensely disliked everything after the breakup with Lauren. You write really well, this one just didn’t hit for me.

sorry I have to agree with november I enjoyed it until the break up then every thing got crazy with who is doing who 3 stars

Very well done sir!👏👏👏👍

Me,I think after Lauren took up with his father he should have totally ignored her.Not that she and Mark had a future together ,but shagging his dad was rubbing his face in it.

Overall a good read but I have to agree with the comments below. Lauren and his Dad is in bad taste, especially so soon after his mother dies.

Nothing wrong with this story. Mark and Lauren were always clear that their affair was a temporary thing and Lauren was there for his dad and mum as the latter was dying, and often happens was drawn to the woman who was helping them through distressING times. Hilarious really how it all went round in circles. Loved the way he was the last to tell his dirty Ssecrets to his wife. 5 from me.

The father dating and then marrying Lauren sp soon after his wife's death is disheartening. Story wnt off the rails.

I was already barely hanging on when Lauren started in on the dad only 7 months after the mom died, but you lost me completely when he ended up with the girl that destroyed Lauren's marriage. Fuck no, that is too far.

[01.06.23]

Excellente tale from top to bottom!

11/10!!!!!

To those whinging about Lauren and his dad hooking up only seven moths after his wife's death...S.T.F.U.!

There is NO PLAYBOOK on mourning a loved one's death, there is NO SET period of 'romantic isolation'...everyone is different!

So MC gets together with Crystal who Ken wanted thus destroying his marriage with Lauren - that is most fucked up part in your story!!!

Lauren dumps him and starts dating his dad? In the real world that would likely mess up the dad / son relationship. Kind of hard to stomach.

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