Lauren, Eight

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Lauren

Eight

One thing I've learned about Lauren; when she's thinking, she goes quiet. And she was quiet walking back to the car. I held the door, she slid in and barely mumbled a 'thank you'.

Oh, I knew the question and I knew my answer. So I waited.

The exit road parallels the bluff, and about two hundred feet above the water so there's a spectacular view through the trees and at the periodic view point.

When we got to the first one I pulled in facing out and commented about what the area must have looked like before loggers came in.

"How could you let me embarrassed like that?"

"Excuse me?"

"In front of my friends. You didn't tell me you know my boss. How is that supposed tp make me feel?"

"And why do you know him?"

"First of all, I had no idea we would even see him there. Or that it would even matter."

I looked out over the water to gather my thought.

"My dad went to college with Roger Essex and Bill Whitehouse. When it came time to select majors they went with law and he selected finance. They set up together here after passing the bar. My dad went to San Francisco to work for one of the big money management firms. After a few years he came back. He said once he realized he was just one of many 'managers'. They were making the money, but someone else was taking the credit, and the profit. So he quit.

He moved back in with his folks and began investing the savings he'd brought back."

I watched a large bird riding a thermal, probably a hawk.

"Dad said the first two years were the toughest. He didn't lose much, but didn't make much either. He never said but I think there was a recession going on. Anyway in his third year things went right and he never looked back."

"But how do you know Mr. Whitehouse?"

"It was just natural Essex and Whitehouse would be my dad's lawyers. They drew up his initial legal material, and when he married my mom, Dad's will.

Since they were friends I would see them often.

When my parents died Essex and Whitehouse became my money managers.

Technically I'm Executor, but I didn't inherit the financial touch like my dad, so tshe firm does it for me. Most goes into foundations and grants, some to charities. I get a healthy amount, plus the house, the boat, and the Jag. But aside from maintenance and taxes I don't need much."

"So you are rich? Why do you work?"

I hadn't really thought about it in that way. "Yeah, I suppose I am. I work because I can help others. I seem to have a sense for what a business needs to improve. I don't know squat about plumbing, but I helped a good sized firm streamline chunks of their operation - inventory and book keeping mostly. The next year they called me, said profits had improved by ten percent. For a business that's huge."

"There was a coffee roaster down in Olympia who just couldn't make a profit. He didn't know why because he had a lot of customers. I spent a week going through every thing, even the janitorial service. I found one of his original employees had been stealing a couple hundred pounds of beans every week and selling to another roaster."

I watched another bird, a gull.s

"Besides, If I didn't work I'd just turn into some kind of drunken slob.

And have never met you."

She gave me kiss. A light one but still ..."

"Okay, apology accepted."

Yaknow, just when I think I have things figured, I find I don't.

~~~

So we're driving along past one view point and then the next when she slaps my arm. "Stop the car! I think I saw a puppy."

So I backed to where she said stop and we began looking. I found an overturned cardboard box with some straw spilling out but nothing else. Meanwhile she was combing through the high grass and poking under bushes. All the time getting closer to the cliff edge. I was about the call her back when she shouted "Here it is!" and held up a fluffy black blob.

One quick look and I was reasonably certain it was a male. A second look and I could see he was pretty dirty. So I pulled a (clean) shop rag from the trunk and we wrapped him up.

"So, you found him, what are you going to do with him?"

"I've never had a dog. I wanted one forever, but my folks said no. I'm keeping him."

Mentally I just sighed. "Okay, break out your phone and find us a pet store that's open and we'll get some stuff.

So we loaded up with puppy food and a leash, shampoo (he really needed that) and a crate.

And a bigger than him stuffed toy. "John, isn't that too big?"

The clerk piped in then. "No ma'am. the little guy will cuddle up with it. It'll help him feel secure."

~~~~~~

When we got to Lauren's apartment i asked where she was going to keep him.

"In the bathroom I suppose."

Yeah. "The neighbors on the other side of that wall will love that."

"Well I don't have any where else to keep him confined."

"I'll tell you what. Go upstairs get the clothes you'll need for tomorrow, a tooth brush, and anything else you might think of. You both will come home with me."

Oh I could ..."

"Woman, shut up and go get your things. You are coming home with me."

The look on her face. I thought for sure I'd blown it.

Then she smiled a little. "Yes Sir! Right away Sir!"

There was an extra wiggle in her butt going to the gate.

~~~~~

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LitCritLitCrit3 months ago

I'm posting this here, too in case you don't go back and check new comments on Lauren - 5.

OK, I promised I'd come back and give you a score after thinking about your mini-episodes for a day or two. I waited until I read L- 5, 6, and 7, all of them too short, random, and seemingly pointless. Only one of your "stories" has broken the 1300 word mark and after L-7 you had averaged 1224.6 words per post. Lauren 8 was the shortest submission since Laurens 1 &3. None of those even broke the kiloword mark. In fact, L-8 DROPPED your words per episode average to 1194.9 words per episode (WPE.) In 8 episodes you have not even totaled 10,000 words! (9559, if you want to be precise.) (So I Tend to think mathematically - so sue me.)

In short, (Though it's probably a little late for short) I'm still pissed at the lack of content in your series both story-development wise and reading length wise. I just get into what is happening in the current (Chapter? Episode? Vignette?) and it's over and "Good By till tomorrow." Please take the time to write a decent length submission, where something actually happens that relates to the previous one and ties into the one that will follow. That will be much more readable, which will mean I won't have to go back and give you 2s or 3s on L- 1 thru 8. Since, following your pattern, L-9 has probably already been submitted, that means I will be looking for L-10 to be at least 5,000 words, or somebody's series is going to get a bunch of 2s - maybe 1s if I'm Really Perturbed! Yeah, I know writing is hard, but dragging a story line out by dribs and drabs is really unfair to your readers. It's like those Movie serials the theaters showed on weekends where a short episode ended in a cliffhanger, designed to make you come back next week, and the week after that, and the week after that, and the week after that... That gets old in a hurry. So - enough with the vignettes - write the story that you have shown you can write without the frustrating tiny bites and we'll be friends again.

muskyboymuskyboy3 months ago

Not much of a story and certainly not romantic.

Boyd PercyBoyd Percy3 months ago

Ain't love grand!

5

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