All Comments on 'Leader of the Pack!'

Would love to see what happened to Maroney I meant Marc.

someone asked what happened to Marc. idk what happened to Marc! I just know he didn't make it to the Playboy Mansion to party with the bunnies and Hef.

A bit too melodramatic for my taste. Putting Violet in the car for the race feels a contrived way to set up the accident keeping her in the town. Telegraphing the elements kills the suspense: Marc's sexism makes it clear they'd break up even if he hadn't literally left Violet to die; introducing Rowan as a werewolf shows a lot of cards early, and unfortunately her POV barely explores where she's coming from in what's apparently a new experience for them both. Notwithstanding some minor plot holes, the outline is good, the story just needs honing.

On a positive note, while it doesn't -defy- the usual tropes, I do like the subtle suggestion that Rowan founded an all-female pack to try to break -away- from the Alpha Myth: offers a rather poetic contrast to Marc's wannabe Big Man-ism. If you ever revisit this story, consider playing up that theme.

Enjoyed it... could be a pt2. How the youth help grow the town. How are lesbians viewed in the pack. Bite her and she becomes a wolf.?

Hi, kinkybunny,

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I enjoyed this and really liked your concept for the story and how it turned out; the uncertainty of the relationship between Violet and Rowan (who dreamed of an eventual Twilight-type impression with a male counterpart) was especially sweet, and bringing Lara and Corrie back as examples to them was a great concept.

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That said, I think you left something on the table, particularly with regards to the settings used. The story begins in the early 1950s (based on statements and Korean War dates, though 1960s was also mentioned) but there were quite a few inconsistencies and outright incongruities that really jar the reader with knowledge of the period out of the story. I’ll mention just one, the Stingray, as the most glaring example. While a concept car from 1959 through 62, the Corvette Sting Ray (the original name) wasn't available to the public until 1963 (10 years after the Korean War ended) and it's never been available with a back seat that would allow the activity Violet referenced. In the future, you might consider checking Google or possibly Wikipedia for any significant details like that to make sure the story setting is “set” correctly.

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Because I liked the concept, I took the Roddy McDowall/The Fantastic Journey approach (ha ha!) and ignored the issues noted above and gave it a 4.5, rounding up. Best wishes in the contest.