Leading the Blind

Leading the Blind

Ah, the park. Good a place as any to finish off your first (and most definitely final) date. The gentle summer breeze, the birds whistling and singing, the array of different brightly coloured flowers in bloom, warmed by the late-afternoon sun. It's just a little tricky to enjoy all of it when your partner can only enjoy about half. Or you're too busy enjoying her.

Her name is Elise, and- where do you even begin with describing her? Like she walked out of a renaissance painting? Sure, the brightly coloured cardigan and skirt combination dampen it just a bit, but everything else-

I wouldn't call her short- about half a head less than myself, but I tend to stand above the average. I've never had much reason to grow my black hair even up to my neck, but her? Elise boasts wavy, light brown hair that shimmers in the sun. What gets me the most is her soft face. It always seems as though there's a tender serenity to it. Always content, yet imperceptible beyond like. Like my own Mona Lisa. Every time I see her, I can hardly resist the temptation to gaze into her gentle, green eyes. There's just one problem.

She'll never be able to look back.

All her life, Elise has lived in total darkness. Some kind of birth defect left her completely blind. How much more difficult her life must be- the things she'll never be able to do- not that you would ever think that, just looking at her or having a simple conversation. One moment, she'll be talking about this music composition she's learning to complete her current course. The next, she'll be fumbling around trying to reach her cup.

"You okay down there, Ryder?" My thoughts slam into a wall as the voice above me asks.

"Yeah." I take a deep breath. "I'm good." You would think Elise would have grown out of wanting to ride a person's shoulders once she had both of her feet into her twenties, but I get the impression her parents were a little- how do you say? Absentee.

"You sure?" Elise asks, putting me to a halt "You must have been going ten minutes, now?"

I shake my head, before I remember. "I'm good." For any other date, their back would probably be screaming for mercy. Not me, though. I lift. Three times a week, one hour each. I really should balance it out a little more with some aerobics, but the clanking of the weights, the rush in my muscles? Nothing quite like it. "Why don't we stop anyway?"

I find a bench to set her down. She's probably just too kind to say she's had enough. Sitting on shoulders like mine for that long will probably take its toll after a while. Elise slides to the end of the bench to take the armrest, and I sit next to her. We stay in silence for a bit. I take in the sights of the pond-lake? Oh, who cares- in front of me. I'm not sure where Elise is drawing contentment from right now, but it seems the atmosphere is pleasing enough. For a while, at least.

"Isn't there anything you want to do?" Elise asks. To be honest, nothing comes to mind, except take a lap around the water. Not really a date thing unless I carry her with me. We've gone to that piano recital Elise was looking forward to, talked, eaten, talked some more, gone around the park. Now we're back to talking. Nothing much left now, and evening isn't too far off. Still, I don't exactly want this to end. Mostly because of what I have to do.

"Not particularly. There's an ice cream place over there. I've still got some money left, if you like." I check my stash. Yep, still enough to get home after this is done, too.

Elise turns to me and gives a smile. Yet I can sense the sadness. "Thank you, but- I can't accept. There's- something I've been meaning to tell you."

A confession? I'm not quite sure what to make of this. It'll either make what I have to say easier, or a whole lot harder. This won't be a boring April First, I'm sensing that much.

"Ryder, I like you, really. And you've shown me such a good time today. It's just-" Here it comes. I hope I'm more ready for this than she is. "You see- I actually prefer women. Just women."

Nope. Definitely not ready. My heart- I'm not even sure what it's doing now. This is coming from someone who's usually keenly aware, especially when it's speeding up. It's as though it's dashing upstairs two at a time: rushing headlong, skipping beats, slowly wearing me out. I must remind myself: I did hear that correct.

"Ryder? I know you're still there. I wasn't lying that I like you. I hope we can still be friends. If you actually were a woman-"

"Elise. I am a woman." She goes dead silent. I guess this is the part where I'm supposed to say 'April fools'? At least I can finally peel away the fake arm hair I've been using. Got my share of funny looks; a few people probably think I've been taking testosterone supplements or something. Stuff itches dreadfully too.

"Aha, you're joking, right? Because that isn't very funny." Uh oh.

"I'm sorry, but no. This-" I clear my throat. "This is my normal voice." I can finally stop turning my throat to gravel with that fake bass. With a second of thinking, I hand the thin sticky plastic I've been fiddling with over. "This is what you thought was my arm hair. You want to feel anything else of mine? Go ahead?"

Elise reached out a trepid hand towards- my chest. Both a surprise and somehow- not. Since I needed to drop the bomb at some point, I didn't bother with a sports bra today. It took a bit of manoeuvring at points to keep her away. She reaches the middle of my chest. Moves around a bit. Just to be certain, I'm sure.

She yanks her hand back. The penny finally seems to drop. "You- you're- really?"

"Yup. Always have been."

"Then- then- you lied to me." I suspect if Elise could give a thousand-yard stare, she would be right now.

"Well, technically I-"

"Don't you dare." Elise's disbelief calcified into cold fury with frightening speed. "You could have corrected me at any time and you know it. Don't try and technically your way out of this.

I thought you were better than this."

A heavy silence hangs in the air for a good few minutes, save for the occasional chirp from the birds through the trees. It's not as though Elise can just storm off, nor can I just leave her here. We both just sit, dazed at our little cross-counter until things cool off.

How did it come to this? Pretty much how you might imagine: about a month earlier I finally worked up the courage to talk to Elise after one of her performances. Things went pretty swimmingly, except for the small part where she mistook my gender and I never decided to correct her. It's easy enough to say 'if only I'd known' with the gift of hindsight, but that's an obvious deflection. I took advantage of a blind girl, no way around that. No matter how 'nice' I acted in the interim. All I can do now is wait until I have enough courage to start the awkward return trip.

"Ah- aha-" I turn to Elise, who sounds as if she's trying to say something. "Ahahahahaha!" She throws her head back into almost manic laughter. Like, shaking, slapping the bench with her palm, everything.

"Hey, are you okay?" I ask, reaching out a hand. Was it something I said?

"Aha- ooh." After a few deep breaths, she finally seems to have calmed down. Elise does the closest thing she can to looking me in the eyes. Her expression seems to have softened. "You know what? I take it all back. You got me. Well done."

"Look, I'm really so- what, what?" That wasn't sarcasm, was it? It didn't sound like it. "You're okay with what I did now?"

Elise sighed. "I got a little worked up there, didn't I? Everything was going really well until now, and I didn't want it to end in a fight or anything"

I can finally stop holding my breath. "Thank you. I hope we can still be friends after this." A glance at the time on my phone. Damn it. "We should get going. Don't want to get caught up in the rush hour."

"Not quite yet. There's somewhere else I would like us to go."

Kind of pushing the limits of my budget today, but maybe I can figure something out. "Alright, where to now?" I pull out my phone, and- crap, another crack on the screen? When did that get there?

Soon as I look up, I see Elise has a phone of her own. Quite a bit newer looking than my own. Quite a bit more intact too. Can she even use-

"Call home," Elise says into her phone. Right. You can do pretty much anything by voice now. After about ten seconds the person on the other end picks up, and she starts a conversation. My discomfort grows again when she cups her hand over the phone, cutting me off from most of the words being said. She- she wants to go home- I think? My attempts are further thwarted when she turns away from me. After a couple more minutes, the talking stops and Elise puts the phone away. "Okay, let's go."

I can't help but raise an eyebrow. "Go where?"

"The main entrance. We're to meet at the car park." Meet who? Her parents? I'm not the least bit ready for this. Elise takes my arm with her hand, and we're off.

I'm still not quite sure what to make of all this. Her single hand that holds my arm at more of a distance has a coldness to it (not that I expected us to be holding hands). She has no intention of telling me exactly where we're going. I can't sense any anger, so all I can really do is hope for the best.

It's about a ten minute walk to the main entrance. The large black iron gates are a good guide to how close we're getting. I've passed by the block of asphalt painted into rows for visitors driving in a fair few times, but never stopped here before.

I scan the array of different cars. None of them stand out much. "You know which one it'll be?"

"Don't worry, they'll come to us when they arrive." Who's they? I still have no idea. We stand waiting for about five more minutes as a trickle of cars come in and out through the gates. Only one catches my eye: a shiny black car, with a full set of tinted windows. The kind for people who come from money- that, or a spy movie. All the sharp-looking man that comes out is missing some sunglasses, and I'd swear he's some kind of secret agent. My hair (the real stuff) starts to stand on end when he approaches.

"It's good to finally meet you again, Lady Elise." The man says.

Lady Elise? Well, this definitely isn't her father. Since when does she have professional servants, though?

"Thank you for coming." Elise nods. "Well, let's not waste any more time here. Me and my- friend here will be going home now."

"Ah. A pleasure." He offers me a hand. "Mister Briggs. Assistant to Lady Elise here. At least, when she requests it."

"Ryder. A pleasure." I accept his hand and we shake. Still not over this Lady Elise thing, but I decide against prying for now. Elise gets into the back of the car with my help and I enter the other side.

The first thing I notice is the icy air, despite there being little fan noise. The air conditioning makes it feel as though I stepped into a different climate. The second thing is the partition between the front seats of the car and the back. Definitely a rich thing. The car reverses out of the space and soon we're driving through the city buildings.

"So, your place." I look over and try to make conversation. "Is it nice?"

"I've heard it's beautiful." Elise nods, but looks sad. I guess it's all the worse if you can never appreciate it. "It's got more than everything I could need."

Sure sounds nice. Quite a lot better than the dinky little apartment I grew up in. My mother did her best for us, but- well, I spent a lot of time in the land of what if, even for a child.

"So, uh- why are we going there, exactly? Is there something you need?" I ask.

"You could say that." Elise turns to me. "I'm going to ask you a very important question, and I want a straight answer. No tricks, no lies. Are you attracted to me?"

"You- I- well-" Damnit. Work, brain! "Wu- why do you ask?" Great. Of all the stalling tactics I could choose, it had to be that one.

"Because I have to, Ryder. I can't see the dilation in your pupils, the red on your cheekbones, the smile on your lips. I can hear your stammering, and now your unsteady breaths. Most of the time, though- words are all I have to work with."

It's a good thing she can't see the guilt on my face. I manage to find courage from somewhere within just in time. "Elise, I let you believe I was a guy because I thought I could spend more time with you that way. Just you. I had to find a place that did fake body hair of all things. And the thing that filled me with dread this whole day was that it had to end, for good. Do I really need to say it?"

Elise puts a hand on mine. "Yes, you do. For me. Please?"

"Then- I am. Of course I am. You're beautiful in ways that don't feel real sometimes. Inside, and out. Do you find me attractive, Elise?" That probably sounds like a deflection, but now I'm genuinely curious.

"Of course not. I'm just using you for your money, obviously." Elise tries to look punchably smug, but it doesn't quite work.

"Well, I'll have to disappoint you there. I'm not exactly rich. Keeping the figure I have isn't exactly cheap, either. It'll probably be a while before I can do something like today."

"Tsk." Now she's making a show of indignation. "I guess I'll just have to use you for your body."

"You can't be doing that badly for yourself if you have your own chauffeur." I think I'm finally used to the chill in here. "Don't you like using your money?"

Her face darkened. "What I don't like is people knowing I have this kind of money. There are two kinds of people I especially can't stand: those who act nice to me because I'm blind, and those who act nice to me because I come from a rich family. I have people who take care of me for money already, thank you. That's part of the reason I wanted to try living on campus for a change. There are still things I can't do, but- I like the taste of independence."

That's right: she's in one of the assisted living rooms. Probably still nicer than what I have to make do with, mind you.

Our conversation sort of trails off there; all that's left now is the anticipation of where Elise usually lives. I've got the image of some kind of fancy manor in my head, courtesy of this small preview from this fancy car. Though I can't help but be a little wary of setting my expectations too high.

As we come up the wrought iron gates, this soon turns out to be a mistake. The gates alone make the ones at the park look paltry. Despite sporting the same black colour, it almost shines. Not to mention it slides open by motor at the appearance of the car. Just a few seconds later, we're able to pass through, along the gravel path.

To the main building.

Manor doesn't do it justice. The white walls and crystal glass stretching out amidst a vast, verdant garden take my breath away. This is the rest of the painting that Elise was from in my mind. From the front of the house, I have no idea where the estate even ends. As I step out of the car and take it all in, all I can do is give a short whistle.

"I thought we were done with the tricks today. And here I was thinking I was going out with a mere commoner today." I shake my head and chuckle.

"Oh, come on. It's not like that." Elise chides me. "Anyway, are my parents home?"

"Your mother and father are away for the week," Briggs chimes in, seemingly out of nowhere. That's some relief, at least. "Would you like me to relay a message?"

"No, thank you." Elise took my arm again. "Why don't you show our guest the way to my bedroom? I would like to rest a while."

"Very good. If you would like to come with me." Briggs opens one of the front doors to enter, and we follow.

The entrance hall is fittingly grandiose; more than sufficient to hold functions. Everything from the chandelier to the paintings and sculptures, to the two sets of curved staircases leading up to the second floor show lavish wealth, and all of it spotless. Everywhere I look, I see more wealth right in front of me than the rest of life combined. We take the left set of stairs up, then another left down a hall. More shiny floors, shiny windows, shiny paintings, shiny everything. Topped off by the evening sun pouring in through a window. Several identical wooden doors mark each side. It turns out the last door on the right is our destination.

Briggs opens the door for us. "Have a pleasant rest, my lady. Should you need anything else at all-"

"Thank you. I- we will be okay for the time being." For once, Elise takes the lead into her room and I follow, closing the door behind me and putting things back to just the two of us.

Elise's room is less ostentatious than the ones I've seen so far, but of course it doesn't really need to be. For one thing, it alone is larger than the apartment I usually live in. It follows the same white based colour scheme, and there are a few pieces of furniture that stand out: a grand four-poster bed at the other end, large windows with curtains (just to conform with the rest of the house, I guess). Bookshelves lined with what I assume are braille books. A fancy-looking, but empty desk against the wall. There are two other doors I can see: one looks like a closet while the other isn't so clear.

"Well, we're here. Your parents are away on matters of state or something. Don't tell me you brought me here just to put your feet up."

"Shhh." Elise feels her way along her desk until she picks up a remote of some kind. With a press of a button- beep. A low-pitched noise emanates from the bed. Elise follows the sound, and- I see now. She can create a noise to follow where she needs to go. Handy.

"You have those speakers everywhere?" I ask.

Elise turns and sits at the end of the bed. "Only the places I might want to go to. I appreciate it all the same. In any case- I would like to rest for a moment. Perhaps you would care to take a shower?"

I snort. "I smell that bad, huh?" I'm probably too acclimatised to notice it.

"Well, you probably worked up a sweat carrying me around. Take all the time you need."

"If you insist."I look at the mystery door. "Uh- is it the door on my right?"

Elise presses another button, and a beeping sound comes from the door. "There."

"Thanks." Through this door is- huh. Maybe my expectations were a little too high for this one. Don't get me wrong, the bath, shower, sink and other facilities look expensive and pristine. I guess there being more space between everything wouldn't make much sense here.

The dials on the shower are a little more old fashioned than I'm used to, and it takes a couple of minutes to get it set just right. Once that's taken care of, I have two streams of hot water rinsing my bare body. I can't help but indulge myself in a couple of spins, before getting down to using soap. This isn't my usual, brisk shower. But then, when am I going to get another opportunity like this? Then again, this is probably taking away time from whatever else Elise has planned.

Oh, what the hell. One last spin through these steaming jets. Then to face the blast of cold before I can get wrapped in towels. All white, like everything else. All of them feel brand new, too. Even in the lap of luxury, it's only a few seconds before this starts to feel like it's dragging on. There are a thousand other things I'd rather be doing than watching myself dry. Elise, though-

Oh, duh. It's not like she'll even see. When I'm confident my feet won't track water all over her carpet, I tighten the towels around me and step back out into the bedroom. First, I notice the gentle breeze chilling my damp skin. The next thing is the curtains being closed around the bed.