Learning the Ropes Ch. 11: Repair

Dahlia

***

The grandfather clock down the hallway chimed loudly four times. I scowled; it was already half past six according to my phone, but the clock continued to make its inaccurate noise. I needed to fix that.

I needed to fix a lot of things.

But, I couldn't. I sat curled up in my reading nook at my house, waiting for what felt like the end of the world. I'd ruined everything. My career was likely in shambles, my dignity shattered, and my relationship... Well, that was gone. I had nothing, was nothing. Depression like a dark shadow wrapped around me, choking out any chance at looking at the bright side. I pulled my blanket up slightly higher over my body, hiding from the world.

I needed to do something to get out of this funk. I'd spent the last twenty four hours here, unmoving, unable to sleep more than a few minutes at a time - otherwise, I'd see her in my dreams. Dreams that always turned to nightmares. I hadn't even gone to work, calling out with a flimsy excuse of being unwell.

It was so easy to slip back into the depression, so I forced myself to look around at my books. Sure, I studied history and taught it to students, but my personal library was a diverse mix of fiction and nonfiction that spanned nearly every genre.

Nothing stood out to me as I ran my eyes over their spines, though. Upon seeing the neglected collection of romance books shoved in a dark corner, my heart sank a little more. All those girls got their happy endings, whether it was with magical princesses or dashing men. Every story seemed to resolve neatly with conflicts sorted out. So why didn't I get that? Why did I have to suffer? It didn't work with my ex-husband and now it hadn't worked with Kara. I couldn't tell whether time was distorting my feelings or not, but this pain now - having lost Kara - was more intense than I'd felt before. It felt inescapable, like I'd never be free of it.

I was spiraling again, I realized, enough cognizance to pull my head above the dark waters of depression that were trying to drown me. This wasn't working, my answer wasn't going to be in a collection of books that I'd already read. I knew how those stories ended, but mine wasn't done.

That last thought stuck with me, lingering longer than it should. My story wasn't over yet... So what did the heroines of my books do when they were down and their lover seemingly rejected them? My cheeks burned as I realized the answer. They usually would pleasure themselves, get over feeling like shit for themselves, and start fixing their problems.

Suddenly I became acutely aware of the blanket against my bare skin. I'd spent the night trying to sleep, so throughout the night I had discarded my clothes piecemeal, until finally I was naked. I shivered, despite not feeling cold.

Why shouldn't I pleasure myself? After all, it was one of the best ways to deal with a bad break up. I thought for a moment, dwelling on the fact that we hadn't, really, broken up, but I let that thought go. We were as good as done, surely. Despite the crushing urge to wallow in my misery, I could feel my hand navigate the folds of the thick blanket until it finally rested on my chest.

I gave a gentle squeeze, feeling the equally gentle flow of pleasure through my body. I smiled; it'd be ok to have this moment. I'd face everything later, but until then, I needed to feel better. My thumb rolled across the smooth surface of my heavy breast. With a delicate motion, I swept my fingertips over my areola and pinched my nipple softly, letting out a sigh. This was nice, I reflected. My other hand, as though it was acting on its own as I was barely conscious of it, found its way across my waistline and started running against my inner thighs.

I lay back, just enjoying the sensation of my fingers touching my body. No kinks, no orders, just simple touching. It was nice... but lacking. I frowned, giving my nipple another pinch and rubbing a fingertip gently against my clit. There was that flow of pleasure again, but it felt... restricted. Held back. With a groan, I pushed a pair of fingers into my entrance, already wet enough from my foreplay. Sure, it felt good, amazing. But there was something missing - someone missing.

"Kara," I whispered, trying my damndest to pleasure myself despite this mental blockade against my satisfaction. "Kara, Kara, Kara," I moaned out, louder and louder, closing my eyes. I was so close, ready to be tipped over the edge but I just couldn't. For a moment, I imagined I could smell her close to me, feel her warm breath running over my neck. I shuddered as her imaginary fingers ran over my body, tracing from my throat down my chest and over my hips.

"You really should learn to lock your doors, flower."

My eyes shot open, and there she was, the late afternoon light illuminating her. She looked like an angel, watching over me with a soft smile on her face. For a moment, I froze, scared to move or even think about what it meant. She was here! Then, reality sunk in. I was naked in front of her, caught in the middle of a self-pleasuring moment while saying her name. Shame and embarrassment flooded through me, and I scrambled to pull up the blanket.

Her hands stopped me though, keeping the blanket down on my legs. Kara snuggled into my reading nook, the cramped space pressing her body close to mine. She was still smiling, stroking my cheek now that I had stopped resisting her in covering myself.

"Do you need some help?"

I nodded abashedly. Her touch was stimulating me, one hand exploring my body while the other held down my arm. Just by the sheer closeness of our figures, I couldn't move, a fact she seemed to relish in.

"Look, flower..." she started, before pausing. Even her touch seemed to freeze. "I missed you too much to stay away. What happened yesterday?"

So I told her everything. How Felicity had caught us, the blackmail, the things she made me do, everything. And then I told her how I tried to cut things off with Felicity, and that that led to yesterday's events. Kara was quiet the whole time, reassuringly stroking my hair and my shoulder as I unburdened myself to her. I did, however, notice a shadow overcast her face during the parts where I described how Felicity had... taken me. Her tender touches never let up, so I surmised she was more angry at Felicity than any of my transgressions.

When I finished, she was absorbed in contemplation for a while, absentmindedly continuing her petting as she gazed off at nothing. Finally, a bitter smirk pulled at her lips. "Yeah, that sounds like her," she muttered, then let out an intentionally steadied breath before meeting my eyes again with a tinge of regret in her own. "I'm sorry you got caught up in all this shit between me and her. And I'm sorry... that I reacted that way yesterday."

"Kara..."

"I just needed some time and space," she forced out, gulping hard as if it was hard to speak. "But it wasn't your fault. I should have been... stronger. For you."

I chuckled once, shaking my head in disbelief. "You're asking me for forgiveness?" After all the hurt I'd put her through, she was the one apologizing? She really was an angel, a gift I didn't deserve dropped into my lap, and it made me start to feel worse again. "You're so good to me, and I did all this... I was just trying to protect you."

"That's a lot to handle alone." With a whisper, her lips kissed and wrapped around my earlobe. "You'll never have to do anything alone though, flower. I wish you told me sooner, but we can take care of this."

"I-I'm sorry, Kara," I choked out. "I--"

I was cut off, first by my lover's finger against my lips, then her lips on my own. We kissed for a long moment, communicating through the silent connection our bodies were sharing. It was going to be ok. There would still be more talking and trust that needed to be rebuilt, but we'd get there. But most of all, we shared through our physical bond love and compassion, connecting us deeply.

By the time we broke our kiss, it'd grown dark in the room. A distant lamp provided meager light for us to see each other by, but it was enough to see Kara's grin widen ever so slightly. Her fingers began to dance across my body again, forcing a little whimper out of my lips. Many of the same motions I'd done earlier - a pinch here, a brush there - felt amplified by her own touch. It felt magical, like she was casting some kind of spell across my body.

I tried to move, tried to in some way gain control of the situation but Kara wasn't having that. She kept me still, holding me tightly. I whimpered, wordless begging escaping my lips as I could feel all the nerves in my body electrify and charge up. I was so close, being worked over by my loving student. Laying there, I writhed and squirmed as her expert hands drew forth from me an orgasm. My body shook, and I ground my teeth tightly against each other. The lights in the room seemed to grow brighter and dimmer, and I collapsed back against my lover.

Dazed, I smiled up at Kara. Then, as if perfectly timed, we both started giggling at nothing in particular. The sheer amount of emotions we were feeling overwhelmed us both, and we ended up making out again. Our lips pressed together, our tongues teasing and tempting the other, we stayed close and savored each other's essence.

After many, many kisses, we laid together and Kara spoke up. "We still need to do something about Felicity."

Well, that sobered me up quickly. It was a name I couldn't stand to hear anymore, but she was right, something had to be done. I nodded. "What are you thinking?"

"Well, we need to deal with the evidence she has. You mentioned it was on her phone and laptop, right?"

"Yeah. What are you thinking, we somehow take her stuff and delete it?"

I looked up to see a wicked grin on Kara's face. "Not just that... I think we need to put Felicity in her place."