Learning to Love Myself Ch. 02

“Maybe I don’t really know what love is, but I always thought it involved being willing to do anything for someone. I don’t know, but I’m trying to be more careful about who I let get anywhere with me. I mean with my body and my heart. I enjoy sex, but with those guys… I -- I just don’t want to have any more regrets.”

“Was it bad? Did it hurt?” I asked. I could feel the first flushes of desire kindling between my legs.

“It only physically hurt the first time -- in high school. It was worse than I expected, and the guy wasn’t very sensitive about it. We were also afraid that I would get pregnant and he… um.. wasn’t able to keep going for very long. The other two guys were much better and actually wanted to impress me. They were good at it, and they did more than just… um.. regular things.”

It was official, I was horny. I could feel heat building up in my crotch and my nipples were starting to harden. “Like what?” I pressed.

“God, this is embarrassing,” Angel said. “I feel like I’m playing truth or dare with my little sister!”

“I’m sorry,” I said. “I didn’t mean to pry too far.”

“No,” Angel responded and took a deep breath. “I can say this.” She sounded like she was trying to convince herself more than reassure me.

“Say whatever you like,” I encouraged. I know I’m bad, but my inhibitions were rapidly melting away in the growing heat of my hormones.

Angel steadied herself and said quietly, as if afraid someone would overhear, “They licked me between the legs.”

My mouth got ahead of my brain, “They ate your pussy!?”

“Elain!”

“What? -- oh sorry -- no wait, I’m not sorry. What?”

“What?”

“What?”Jeez – it’s back to Who’s on First?

“You make it sound so dirty,” Angel hissed. She was bright red.

“Itis dirty!” I told her. “It’s dirty in a very, very good way. I can’t imagine how awesome that must feel and how exciting it must have been!” I was lost in the moment. “Did they make you cum that way? Did they like the way you taste? Did they put their tongues inside your pussy?”

“Elain!”

“Wha-at!”

“I’ve never heard anybody talk like that!” Angel actually sat back and fanned herself, she was so red-faced.

“Come on, Angel. It’s just you and me,” I said. “I’m sorry. Virginal me -- I guess that I am a bit foul-mouthed. You see why I don’t have many friends?”

That got her giggling, and then we both burst out laughing to ease the tension. Eventually we were lying on our backs on the floor gasping for breath, with our feet pointing opposite directions and our heads next to each other.

Eventually Angel looked over at me, “Girl, you are full of surprises. I don’t know when I’ve been so flustered. Virginal my ass!”

“See you know the words!” I said. “Flusteredmy ass!”

That set off a new burst of laughter until Angel said, “I’m sorry, I said I wouldn’t make fun. It’s just kind of a weird thing to hear my sweet, shy friend Elain talk like that.”

“I didn’t feel like you were making fun,” I said. “I just got excited and let my mouth get ahead of my brain. Besides, it’s not like was really saying anything bad.”

“Excited?”

“Yeah -- you see now it’s my turn to be embarrassed. I was getting turned on hearing you talk about those guys licking your pussy and I --"

“Elain!”

“Angel,” I said in as stern a voice as I could manage. “It’s not an evil word. You have one; you can at least say it.”

I turned toward her lovely face and saw that she had a confused look wrinkling her brow. Her mouth was working slightly on the words, but no sound was coming out. It was like I asked her to taste something completely unfamiliar.

I softened my voice to just above a whisper and said as gently as possible, “Angel, say ‘pussy’.”

She hesitated for just a moment, then whispered back, “Pussy.”

“That didn’t hurt now did it?”

She smiled uncertainly, “No it didn’t.”

“Say ‘my pussy’.”

“My pussy.”

“Say, ‘He licked my pussy and made me cum.’”

“They both did,” she whispered and smiled. “They licked my pussy and made me cum.”

“Was it good?” I ventured.

“It was glorious,” she said and stretched luxuriously on the floor. She was getting caught up in the memory now.

“What about the other?” I pushed a little farther.

“What -- when they --"

“Fucked you?” I completed for her, my voice just barely audible. My pussy was really starting to burn. I wished I could have touched myself right then.

“I’m not there yet,” she whispered back and smiled. “It’s funny, Idid it but I can’tsay it -- to many inhibitions I guess. Maybe some bad memories too.” Her face clouded slightly as she appeared to look inward for a moment.

“Am I embarrassing you?” I asked seriously. I was afraid I had pushed her too far. “Are you having second thoughts about having let some freak into your home?”

“No,” she smiled again. “You’re being you, and you’re a wonderful person. It’s actually good to see some of your walls come down. I’m just embarrassing myself.”

“How’s that?”

“I’m excited too, and I’m letting myself get carried away.”

“Angel, there’s nobody here but us, and I’m the last person on earth who would judge you. I am dysfunction on two legs. I am dysfunction with red hair. I am dysfunction with big breasts. You have nothing to worry about from me!”

“Thank you,” she said and looked back up at the ceiling. “I’ll make you a deal,” she said after a moment. “As long as it’s just you and me talking, let it be straight talk only and no judgments. Can I trust you with that?”

“You can trust me with that,” I agreed enthusiastically, “as long as we make it a standing rule in the house. That way it’salways like that. Then if either one of us gets offended by something, she can put the brakes on whatever it is -- in a gentle way of course -- and the other one of us will know she means it.”

“Agreed,” she said. “Now I don’t know about you, but I’m tired and I want to go to bed. I also want to talk more about this. It’s fun to remember the good stuff. It’s not something I’ve shared with anyone really, and it makes me feel all tingly between the legs.”

“Ahh, wait,” I said, “I’m going to enforce your new uninhibited vocabulary. It makes you feel all tingly ‘in your pussy’.” I was one to say, my pussy was soaked and tingly too!

“Damn you girl!” she laughed and slapped at me playfully.

Then we both sat up, made sure the front door was locked, turned off the lights, hauled in my new dresser, and closed ourselves in the bedroom. I had already unpacked my hanging clothes, but I quickly loaded the dresser as well.

The bedroom was basically one long rectangle. It had a window that looked out the front of the house on one short wall, and the bathroom and walk-in closet in the opposite short wall. The bedroom door was on one long wall near the bathroom, and there was bigger window in the middle of the opposite long wall. We had arranged things so that heads of our two beds were on either side of that big window. My twin bed was on the side with the bathroom and the closet, and my dresser was on the long wall opposite the foot of my bed. Got all that?

Angel’s full-size bed was set up the same way on the other side of the big window. She also had a small desk under smaller window in the short wall. We had a coffee table under the big window that acted as a bedside table for both of us and provided about five feet of separation between our two beds.

Angel was standing in this five foot wide space between the beds when she seemed like she felt suddenly awkward. She started to say something three times before she got the words out.

“Um… so we’re flying the ‘straight talk only’ flag, right?”

“Yeah,” I said as I got my nightgown out of my dresser. “Is everything okay?”

“Well I kind of warned you about this before we decided you should move in,” she said and paused. “I sleep naked.”

“Okay,” I said as nonchalantly as possible. “Why shouldn’t you?”

“I just didn’t want to shock you,” Angel replied.

“After what we just shared out there,” I said, pointing at the door. “You have to work harder than that to shock me. Besides, I thought I was the shocking one,” I continued and mimed her fanning herself.

Angel grinned, “Um… do you wear anything in bed?”

I looked at the nightgown in my hand, looked at Angel, and then pointedly stuffed it back in the drawer. “Nope,” I said confidently.

I hope that I sounded more confident than I felt. I was honestly quite nervous about taking off my clothes in front of Angel. It wasn’t that I was terribly worried about her seeing me naked. We were both girls, and both had big breasts. It’s not like she was hiding anything I hadn’t already seen. What did make me nervous was that my pussy was very wet, and I didn’t know how evident that would be.

“Do you want me to turn off the lights before we get undressed,” I asked.

“I don’t know,” Angel offered after a moment. “Why is this so hard? We’re both confident people. We’re both young women. We have pretty similar bodies even. Why are we nervous?”

I took a big deep breath and spilled it, “Straight talk? I’m a little nervous because I’m still kind of excited. My pussy is wet, and I didn’t know if it would be obvious or how you’d react.”

“That was my concern exactly. I’m wet too!” Angel laughed. “Oh, excuse me,” she paused, straightened her spine, threw her shoulders back, and struck a pose of confident authority, “I mean -- mypussy is wet too!”

“That’s my girl! Well I don’t mind if you don’t mind,” I declared. “I’m going to brush my teeth.” So I closed myself in the bathroom, brushed my teeth and peed hurriedly. I really wanted to finger myself, but I didn’t want to raise suspicion. So I came back out in short order.

Angel was still fully clothed and fiddling with her alarm clock. “What time are you getting up to go swimming?” she asked. “I want to go with you if you don’t mind.”

“I normally get up at 5:30 and go at 6:00,” I answered. “Obviously I don’t eat breakfast first, and since I’m just going to get wet, I just throw on some clothes and go. You really don’t have to get up if you don’t want to, but I’d be happy to have you come along.”

“That is awfully early, but I’ll try,” she said without looking up. She finished setting the alarm and then said, “Maybe we could take a nap later in the day. Anyway, my turn in the bathroom.”

She was out in two minutes, and found me fiddling with my alarm clock. Then we were back to where we started. Still fully clothed and staring at each other.

Without another word, I unbuttoned my jeans and pulled them off. Angel pulled her shirt over her head. I’d seen her impressive attributes in a bra before, but it really bears repeating how enormous they were. I followed with my shirt and she did likewise with her jeans. Simultaneously we both unsnapped our bras and let all the girls out.

We made a really sexy contrast as you can imagine. Angel had a much more olive complexion compared to my lightly freckled paleness. Her nipples and areolas were a light brown whereas mine are rose colored. I had never seen brown nipples before, so I probably stared more than I should have. Also whereas I have round high-mounted breasts, Angel’s were great sloping low mounted breasts. They weren’t saggy at all, just big and heavy looking.Impressive pretty much sums up Angels breasts. Actually it pretty much sums up all of Angel’s body.

“Wow Elain!” Angel said. “You hide those well. I knew you were big-chested, but not that big.”

“And I’m surprised you can keep those tied in at all,” I answered back. “How bigare you?”

“I wear a 36E bra, and I think I might still be growing. It runs in my family. You?”

“I wore an E once, but I traded some of it for muscle. I wear a 36DD now.”

“How can you wear a 36? You’re a smaller person than I am.”

I turned around, rolled my shoulders forward, and pulled my elbows downward. My lats flexed outward like wings. “My back is wider than you think,” I explained. “It’s from all the swimming.”

“Well you have an awesome body!” appraised Angel. “I could always tell you worked hard on staying in shape, but now that I can see all of you… you’re just incredible. Cute butt too!”

I turned back around and caressed her with my eyes. “Thank you. That means a lot. I can say the same about you. You don’t have any extra weight on you, but you look so mature compared to me. You have real hips, and your skin is just to die for. I can’t get over your breasts though! Wow they’re big!”

Angel gave her shoulders a shake which set her twins swaying. “All natural, just like you!”

“Speaking of natural,” I grinned, “you’re about to see the proof that my red hair is all natural too.” I hooked my thumbs in the waistband of my panties and was about to slide them down.

“And I can see the wet spot on your panties!” Angel said. “You weren’t kidding about being excited.”

“Definitely not,” I said. “I’m soaked.” I slid my panties off my hips and thighs, dropped them to my ankles, and deftly kicked them into my dirty clothes basket. I then quickly combed my fingertips through my short pubic hair and said, “See, flaming red everywhere.”

“I see,” Angel said giggling. “I’m soaked too, see this.” She rocked her hips forward and I was able to see clearly that the entire crotch of her panties was stained a darker color. “Time to get these off,” she added after I had seen my fill, and she quickly shed them.

Angel’s bush was slightly thicker than mine, but narrower in shape. It was dark and curly like the hair on her head, but looked soft and downy.

She was gazing at my pussy as I studied hers. “Do you shave?” she asked.

“No, but I do trim a little. If I don’t, it shows when I wear my swimsuit. There’s a story that goes with that actually. I’ll have to tell you sometime.”

Angel rocked her hips up again as if presenting her pussy to me. I couldn’t see any detail, but I could tell that her arousal had damply matted the curls farther down between her legs. I must admit that it was extremely sexy to see her that way.

“Do you think I’ll have the same problem tomorrow?” she asked, tracing her fingers through her bush.

“I don’t know. We’ll have to look when you put your suit on, but just looking at the shape of your pubic hair, it doesn’t look like you’ll be showing anything.

“Now stop and think for a second,” I told her. “Not ten minutes ago we were both griping about feeling nervous and awkward. Now we’re examining your pussy, comparing breasts, and talking about how wet we are.”

“Yeah, I guess so,” Angel mused. “That all happened rather quickly didn’t it? I guess we’re just getting that much more comfortable with each other, and I’m excited enough that I’m feeling really uninhibited. I don’t feel nervous at all now. You have the same body I do, and I don’t feel like your judging me.”

“At least not negatively,” I said. “You have a fantastic body. We definitely live in Big Breast Central!”

“Hmm.. life in the BBC!”

“Imagine announcing your next big dinner: ‘Tonight at the BBC, we’ll be serving linguine and fresh greens…’,” I laughed.

That sent us into new fits of laughter. I swear, she brought out a silly side of me I didn’t know existed. We each climbed into our beds and killed the lights. I was still extremely horny, but my fires had cooled a little. I was more tired than I thought.

“Hey Angel,” I said. “Turn the light back on for a minute.”

She sat up and clicked the light back on. “Yes?”

“Thanks for rescuing me from the dorm, and thanks for being a good friend. You bring out good things in me, maybe some wild things too, but I can’t remember when I’ve been happy like this.”

She swung her legs over the side her bed, and stood up in all her naked glory. “Come here,” she said and pulled my up by my hand.

I stood up, and she pulled me into a hug. Our breasts pillowed into each other, and I felt her nipples bump across my own. My pubic hair brushed against her upper thigh and hers tickled my lower belly. It was completely unexpected and unbelievably sensuous. My pussy instantly became molten again, and my head swam.

“You’re welcome,” Angel said tenderly. “It’s a good thing for me too, and I’m happy to have you here.”

She broke the embrace and read the shock on my face. “Hey… are you okay?”

“Yeah,” I said softly, blinking rapidly. “I’m not much of a hugger, and I’ve just been embraced by a very beautiful and very naked woman.”

Angel’s eyes went wide. “I’m so sorry,” she said, stepping back to arm’s length. “My whole family is touchy-feely. I forget that not everyone is like that. I didn’t think about us being skin to skin either. Like I said, I’m not thinking of inhibitions right now.”

“No, no..” I reassured her. “It felt really good. I just didn’t expect it.” I stepped toward her and hugged her back. Angel responded, and we held the embrace for a few moments, then separated with a smile. “Thanks again,” I said.

We both climbed back into bed and I said, “What else did you want to talk about?”

“Lots of things,” she said, “but I think I’m too tired right now. What do you say we leave the ‘straight-talk-only’ flag up as agreed, and continue this tomorrow?”

“You got it,” I responded through a yawn. Angel clicked the light back off, and that’s the last thing I remember before falling into a deep and satisfying sleep.

*****

The alarm went off way too early, and we both sprang up and staggered around for a few minutes trying to get our bearings. For me it was that I was in the dark in an unfamiliar place; for Angel it was just unusually early. One of us managed to get a light on though, and we stood there naked, smiling at each other.

“You all right this morning?” I asked as I fished around for something to put on for the ride over to the pool.

“Yup,” she yawned. “I’m not sure even why I want to go with you, but maybe you can give me some tips on swimming for exercise. I work out regularly at the campus gym, but it’s hard to do anything aerobic when you have these,” she said and lifted her heavy breasts in her hands.

“Tell me about it,” I nodded emphatically. “That’s why I started swimming in the first place. You do have a swimsuit, don’t you.”

“Yes, but it’s more decorative than functional.”

“Bikini?”

“Oh no,” said Angel with an alarmed look on her face. “I’d fall out of a bikini instantly. It’s a one piece, but it’s got laces and ties and stuff. I’ll probably have to buy something with fewer frills and better support if I’m going to try to swim for real.”

By this time I was dressed, and had my stuff packed. It was another fifteen minutes or so before Angel was put together enough to leave, but luckily it was a short trip to the pool. My swimsuit is a simple full support thing with a high neck. Angel’s was a sparkly silver bit of stretchy fabric that laced up the front (for an adjustable fit, she claimed), but still had a low neckline. It was a lot more for show than function. She looked awesome in it though, and I told her so.

I showed her some basic strokes (like I’d ever been trained -- I learned what I know from a combination of books and trial and error), and how to breath properly. Then we each chose a lane and swam for an hour. Angel struggled a little and had to take frequent breaks, but she did really well for her first time trying. I was very proud of her.

When we got back to the locker room, I got ready to go in the shower and Angel confessed that she hadn’t even thought about. She hadn’t brought soap, shampoo, or even a towel.

“I’m a dummy,” she said. “I was just thinking that we would go back home and get cleaned up. Sorry, I didn’t know the procedure.”

“No stress,” I told her. “I’m just a creature of habit, and didn’t even think that you wouldn’t know. They have towels here and you can share my soap and shampoo if you’d like to spend the school’s hot water instead of ours. Or we can just go back home.”