All Comments on 'Lease My Wife'

Oh WOW!! This is good, interesting, and exciting!! Love the rock face, snow, and photos used to present the surprise!!! Excellent work Kedge!!! 5- Stars for this storyline!!

A lot of preamble but what is he selling her for?

What an arsehole husband. 1☆

another stupid you,you,you, i,i,i story that is hard to fallow

Read the first paragraph and punted. Never been able to enjoy a story written in 2nd person

Great start! Awaiting further chapters!

A bad story, made worse by using the worst PoV to tell it.

Don't use second person POV. It rarely works.

????? Just 1 star—weird.

Stick to 1st person.

I’m going to repeat verbatim something I read on this board once: “No, I didn’t. No, I don’t. No, I wouldn’t. WTF are you trying to tell me? Because, no, I don’t care. I’m done with this story.”

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Narrated conversations in the second person are only appropriate as hypotheticals (I.e., fantasies) between two intimate partners. In the correct setting, and a totally trusting environment, they can be very hot. However, they are NEVER appropriate for public consumption unless you are willing to get absolutely pilloried in the comments section.

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And yes, you deserve it. Because the first thing that flashed through my mind, and prevented me from even scanning 25% of your probably hot tale, is “No, I didn’t. No, I don’t. No, I wouldn’t. WTF are you trying to tell me? Because no, I don’t care. In fact, I’m done with this story.”

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Good luck with that.

The second person writing does make it less enjoyable. And leasing her for a month is going overboard.

Such "auction" style scenarios are for one night, a whole day, or maybe a whole weekend. But a month? That's like; just sell her to a whorehouse and find someone else.

But since it's your first posted story on LitE, I'll encouarae you with a 5.

Any story written in the second person is incredibly hard to follow or understand. You would do yourself a great service to drop this style of writing and adopt a more user friendly perspective. There may be a great story in there but it impossible to engage with it . Just my perspective.

Do they make coupons for this?

A month is an awful long time. Would have been more believable if it were a weekend, or a week at most.

2nd person stories suck and are an automatic rating of 1.

Might have been a good story, but the writing style or perspective was too annoying or tedious to endure. I didn't do any of the things you told me I was doing while I read your story. So I'm supposed to enjoy you writing the story as if the reader is the character you are talking about, talking to, etc. Like: You read my comment, and think, what an intuitive and cogent comment. You wonder how could someone so intelligent be so far off the mark of understanding what you are trying to achieve. You poise your finger over the Delete key, and wonder, did the commenter anticipate my reaction correctly.

hard to read and when I did finish I still don't get it. She wanted to be traded for a month or was it his fantasy/desire?????

Learn to write before posting any again

Minus 2 star

I have never read a 2nd person story that doesn't make me cringe. This one is just as bad.

Elaborate effort to heat the wife up, using imagination and her libido against her. But as a story goes, ehh, so so. I kept waiting for the leaseholder to show up. Are you planning on continuing this series?

ugh - 2.8*