All Comments on 'Left At The Altar'

Nice storyline with credible charcters. Shame about all the spelling errors. I recommend the use of a good dictionary or spellchecker before starting another - and I believe you should write another. I look forward to your next submission.

story but you do need to get a spellchecker there were quite a few errors but please don't be deterred from writing another great story.

Just because it's spelled right it doesn't mean it's the wright word. Get it ?

Good story , the spelling thing hurt it though.

Good Story.... atrocious spelling to the point I was embarrassed for you...next time ( i hope there is another story) use a spell checker or an editor.

This was a very good story, however, try taking your original copy and run it through a spell checker with grammar check also. This should help you to see all of your mistakes. After making your corrections, reread your story and you should be able to see how much it is improved. Continue with your writing. You have an excellent style.

I understand that this is your first writing attempt at Literotica, or at least with this user. Now I would like to say that I liked the story. However there were a lot of spelling and grammar mistakes. Literotica has a great editors group, and I would suggest using it. Although there were more some of the most repetitive mistakes were:

Cores when you meant course

Tong when you wanted tongue

Good first try, it needs editing, but good story none the less.

Al Borland

Good story, but proofread before submitting next time. Actually have someone else proofread. It's always more effective.

Yes, I agree with the others; it was a great story! However, when you get an editor, have one who will insert proper punctuation, quotes around the verbal text so we know who is saying what. Keep writing. Don't be discouraged by these comments and sit there with your "tongue" hanging out. :)

Before you decide to write another story about a woman virgin losing her cherry, you should take a few basic female anatomy lessons.

The hymen is a natural tissue covering over the vaginal opening of young girls and women that protect the vagina from bacterial infection until she reaches puberty and her body develops the natural secretions with a sufficient amount of bodily acids to protect her sexual organs.

If your wife or girl friend told you her hymen was broken when your cock was half way to its limit, "SORRY CHARLIE", she weren't no virgin.

I stopped at the 9th paragraph when you typed in "Well of cores I was about to say that too."

If you're not going to learn to fucking spell or bother to proofread OR get a fucking editor, then I won't bother reading the rest. You get 1 star for just posting this shit.

poor grammer ruined it for me

"I am built more or less like a linebacker. That is because I played as a linebacker in a division 2 college" ????

it would appear to me that this linebacker position you held got in the way of actually getting an education. I'm sure even a 10 year old can see what's wrong with those 2 sentences above....couldn't read past that for fear i'd lose what's left of my sanity

The grammar and spelling errors really detract from what could have been an "ok" story. Don't rely on the computer to correctly guess what you are trying to say.

I agree with the above comments regarding grammer. Also I don't think it's possible to lay on top of each other.

Yes, the, uh, writing suck. (For example, "She was a little soar..." How far above the ground was she?)

<P>

However, it's more than a little hypocritical to makes comments on the grammar when you don't know how to spell the fucking word.

<P>

Word of advice: Firefox has a built-in spell checker. Use it.

More spelling and grammar errors than in any other story I've read here since 2007. This could have been a good story, but it wasn't. BTW according to Gray's Anatomy (the book not the TV show) and three other references the hymen is less than an inch inside. Do a fact check, a spell check and get an editor before submitting another story.

My friend , Every Wednesday I hold spelling classes . They are absolutely free of charge, you just have to bring your brain.Writing was atrocious.

Okay, I know everybody has to start somewhere, but you reference twelve separate numbers in the first paragraph alone. Sure you didn't want to include their cholesterol values as well? Your writing will be much improved if you do a lot less telling and a lot more showing.

This was so poorly written that I was laughing by the end of the first paragraph. It violates every basic rule of creative writing that I learned in junior high. This comment, of course, doesn't even include the language problems.

Buy yourself a dictionary, and learn to use it. or at least use Spell Check. The Story is OK, but all the errors are a distraction.

Great story.........even with the miss spelled words it was easy to read !

You poeple who find flat with spellng get a life or rite yur onw stroy and dnot raed thsee ! .............I don't have spell check ether ...........but I can read it !!!

GREAT STORY..MC

An editor is needed to catch all of the misspelling and misuse of words.

The errors caused the flow of the story to be interrupted.

The detail of the story is actually beneficial for a first time; however, the grammar, spelling and punctuation leave very much to be desired and cause a break in the cognitive state of the storyline.

I hope to see another with an upgrade in dissertation.

Amazing!

A beautiful love story.

As somebody said before, "even with the miss spelled words it was easy to read!"

I would love to have a sister and live a story like that with her.

Keep writing.

Try to find somebody who helps you with spelling for your next stories and the final result will be perfect.

The Grammar And Spelling Police shood hunt ewe doun and take away your story Righting privellages, write away! Shame on the your English teacher!

only thing was the spelling but thats not a big deal,i hope you continue

You have a great story. I agree with others, that you need to work on your spelling and vocabulary, but you definately have talet. Write more!

I Wish That Was Me

another grade school drop out why do the so called webmasters allow this type of trash on the site?

Very good. I was going to give it a 4 but I hit the wrong key and gave it 5. Oh well.

The reason I was only going to give it a 4 was for a lot of misspellings. Some could be typos but a couple were used consistently wrong, ie corse instead of the correct course and tong instead of the correct tongue

Make them at least 2 pages

in my opinion it would have been better if they had children.

Too many simple spelling mistakes, and poor grammar, detract from a reasonable but predictable story

Here it's the sister who's got the right idea. The first stiff prick to enter her sweet innocent virgin cunt should be her own brother's big fat prick. You could even say it's the brother's right to stick his big young cock up between his cute kid sister's adorable coochie and blow his brotherly balls up her pretty little twat. My only objection is that it's wrong for bro to get himself snipped. When he unloads his balls in his sis and shoots her full of his creamy semen the brother should be fucking a baby up her cunt. A cute little incest kid. A baby makes the perfect souvenir of their hot incestuous fuck.

Get a medical dictionary and check your facts; the hymen is a membrane just inside the immature vaginal opening, and is usually ruptured soon after the child starts to walk and run; only a small percentage of women (typically 2-3%) survive into their late teens with an intact hymen, usually because of some serious underlying genito-urinary problems. A girl in her late teens is only likely to have at most a vestigial remnant of the immature hymen remaining on the periphery of the vaginal canal. Any woman who has a 'hymen', or an obstruction inside the vaginal canal that bleeds profusely when penetrated by a penis, has got some very serious medical issues; trust me, I'm a doctor, I know these things

You need to learn how to spell tongue.

Filled with misspellings (it's "of COURSE"), stilted without contractions. Reads as if it was translated poorly from another language and/or written by a high school student. Kudos for your effort but please, clean up the next one before submitting.

Great story. I really enjoyed the plot and the story progression. The thing that ruined it for me was that it was full of spelling mistakes and grammatical errors. If you fixed this is would be much better.

Take advantage of the free editor. Keep it up though as you have so much potential.

you need to use a word spell checker.

your spelling in your story was atrocious.

You are like my uncle. I loved to hear him tell stories. I told him once that he should write some of them down so his grandchildren could enjoy them. My aunt laughed and said, "Darling, he could never do that. He can't spell 'cat'!" Oh, but I loved my uncle and his wonderful stories. Keep on writing. Get a dictionary and use it. You'll be glad. And so will your readers. Four stars for the story alone.

Oh dear.very weak story no imagination and spelling of a baby.

Been 5 years, the author has long left the site people.

I know that author was one and done, but this was bad. Spelling and grammatical errors; shallow plot; lifeless ending. I don't like to be negative, but this "writer" should not write again without adult supervision.

This was a nice story but the spelling and punctuation were horrible. The writer has a talent for story telling but really does need to work on English punctuation and spelling!

Please get an editor before you submit another one. The spelling and grammar needs a lot of work

Spoken sentences missing quotation marks. "Tong" instead of "tongue". Punctuation is almost entirely missing.

The story itself was good but I think the best part is that I didn’t see a single comment that missed a chance to point out your spelling errors. I agree with them and would tease you like hell if I was that kind of guy all because it has one of the simplest fixes in the world. Either ask someone to read it over for mistakes, or use any kind of program like Word or Google Docs to point out the misspelled words.

This was a great story line but you needed an editor. spelling & punctuation (") were terrible and really distracted me as I would have to pause & reread to comprehend what was narration/conversation. Gave you a 5 but should have been lower. Find an editor for any more stories please.

Fours stars because you have promise, but like others have stated, you really need an editor...

"Well of cores [sic] I was about to say that too."...

Wow, only a couple paragraphs into the story and already such a horrible misspelling (actually wrong word).

I gave up shortly after. Too many mistakes. I would say get an editor, but clearly there is a bigger problem.

You don't get 5 only because of no kids

You don't need an editor. You need to go back to school and actually pay attention this time.

Uh, we're is the Paul Harvey "Rest of the Story?" Yea we acted like we were married, then we kissed , then we made love and then thank you very much Elvis has left the building... I mean OMG this the first story that after I read it and saw there was no next chapter or next story that I felt like I was the one that got screwed. Please please please, I need more of this love story!

I basically agree with others. It's a great plot but you rushed through the story too quickly. In real life she'd have been far more upset and in tears after he didn't turn up and the first few days of the 'honeymoon' would have been about her getting over that while having to go through the motions of pretending to be married. It also needed more dialogue to bring the characters to life more; plus, as others have said, an editor to correct all the typos/spelling mistakes. But still, a promising first effort.

good

You need to read your own story, misuse of words is atrocious, example cores instead of course, seem should be seam, liked when you meant licked, then I stopped reading. Too rushed to get to the plane, no planning for reception etc that usually follows a wedding, no agonising. then boom he's taking her virginity with a hymen buried in her vagina. Bloody hell go finish high school!!!!

Get an editor please, or at least learn how to spell

Very good idea, but sadly, the execution is lackluster. I understand that not everyone can afford an editor (or have the connections to find someone willing to do it for free) but the very least you could do is proofread and/or run your story through a spellcheck.

It's your first story, so Im inclined to give you the benefit of the soubt because I love the whole "left at the altar" angle, but the whole thing feels rushed. They jump into bed too quickly, and there's no build up, and the sex scene feels rushed. Good Incest/Taboo work because they either have a really good build up that sets the "romance" to eleven, or a. steamy sex scene that leaves you panting for more. (the truly great stories have both) but you seem to have rushed both to get to the happy ever after, which is also the end of your story.

You have potential, and I'm looking forwards to reading your next story, but I advise you to slow down, take a breath, and enjoy the journey. An editor would go good, but more importantly, you need to share more about your characters. Give them time to shine, give us, the readers, time to get to know them, time to care about them so that we're invested by the time the story ends.

tldr: a good attempt at a first story, despite its flaws. 3*