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Click here"Goodnight Rita," I said.
"Aren't you going to kiss me goodnight?" she asked.
"That's probably not a good Idea," I said. "I might not be able to let you go. It's already hard enough telling you goodnight. Can we do something tomorrow?"
"We'll see," she said.
She closed her door and I walked back across the lawn. I went into the house and as usual checked on Allie. As I left Allie's room I heard a knock at my door. I went to the door and saw Rita standing there. She had on a long silken robe and from the look of it nothing else. I had to tear my eyes away.
"Let me guess, you were going to bed and remembered that you forgot something?" I asked.
"I was thinking about that evil woman that broke your heart," she said. She had a small box with her. "That bitch has you jumpy and suspicious of everyone. Remember the way you ran away from me earlier today?" I nodded.
"Crank the fireplace back up. I'll be right back," she said. She went into my kitchen. I should have gone to hell for the thoughts that I had while I watched her walk away.
She was back in about five minutes carrying a glass. "Mike, close your eyes," she said. I closed them and she put the glass in my hand.
"Why do I have to close my eyes?
"Your senses, like taste and touch and smell are more intense when you use fewer of them," she said.
"Okay, what now?" I asked.
"Take a sip, Silly," she said. I took a tentative taste.
"Holy shit, that's good," I said. "Can I open my eyes? That's the best lemonade I've ever had."
"Mine isn't world famous, but I try," she giggled. "Is it better than Leanne's?"
"Much better," I said.
"You can open your eyes now, Mike," she said. Her voice was almost a growl. I turned to look at her and she was naked on my couch.
"You've had the lemonade. I think you know what comes next," she said.
The end.
- COMMENTS
Anonymousabout 1 month ago1 star. He was as big of a cheater as they were.
Story went from a mild 4 to instant 1 when he cheated as well.
Anonymous4 months agoThis was definitely one of the more "out there," stories I've read. There were parts that were definitely realistic but others not so much. For instance, I can't fathom the mother and daughter being able to hustle all their lives as they had, yet be totally oblivious to him taking Allie away. I mean, granted they clearly didn't give to fucks about the kids, but given that Allie was recently the main subject, and that she had been gone prior to the explosion, and assuming Leanne and Jeanne can count, I can hardly believe they just accepted that she got booked into the system with the rest of the kids. The ending with Rita doesn't go with the story either. She's not "that type of girl," but then she is? The story within the story was a different approach, however, it was a bit dragged out. Seeing as he was telling the story to a person within the story, it kind of made a lot of it irrelevant. To make all of it relevant, maybe go with a brief introduction of how they met, but have been together, then begin the actual story as a recollection; as if he's telling the story to the the readers rather than Rita.
Anonymous4 months agoInteresting story but I had a problem with your main male character. He seemed very immature in his relationships with women and was adolescent. Oh well, just saying.
Anonymous6 months agoThat was just odd. The Hal Jordan and Kyle Rayner nomenclature was funny. But whybwas it even in there? Blowing up the house was stupid. Could have killed Leanne, Jeanne or worse one or more of Leanne's other kids. I get that it was added yo get CPS to take the other kids away but how do you make certain that it doesn't hurt anyone else. Just odd.
Anonymous12 months agoThis is my second time reading this story & while I can’t say I loved it I can say I liked it very much. Entertaining and complete. I have to give it 5 stars.
Bill S.
EastCoaster1over 1 year agoAs I begin to write my first story, I'm trying to learn from the LW authors who consistently turn out well-written & engaging tales of loving wives and not-so-loving wives, whether BTB, RAAC, or something else entirely.
SS06 shares stories that are described like this, some while exhibiting a 'Black Belt' in snark...
...yes, I'm a fan, and I'm also a student of his.
That said, I think this one, woven together with the story of a man who may have been foolish in some of his relationships with adults, put everything on the line for a child... in other words, he acted as the Father of a child.
As a Dad, I say "Bravo" and give it a 5...
xhristianjover 1 year agoWow I love how supposedly intelligent 26year old guys act like a 16year old Virgin around an old tired skank. I mean come on when your entire work crew give you shit all day about how old someone is and to wear condoms and yet you completely ignore them you deserve every ounce of shit you get.
Anonymousover 1 year agoThis was mostly about a segment of our population with which I’ve had no contact so it was fairly not relatable. It was too long & convoluted for the short story that was the center. 3 stars.
Bill S.
drycreeksover 1 year agoI love reading the comments of ignorant anonymous readers fun story grwat job thanks for ur hard work it was enjoyed n appreciated
