Les Deux Escargots

When we were done, I lay forward on top of her for a while, kissing her. Then I rolled over and lay beside her, and we just held each other, not saying anything.

* * *

It was a little after five in the afternoon when I woke up. I was lying in bed in my boxers and a T-shirt. I saw my golf clothes lying in a pile on the chair beside the closet.

No sign of a suit or tie or anything else.

Bonnie came in. She was wearing a denim skirt and a short-sleeved button shirt. Her hair was up in its usual way.

"I brought you some Excedrin," she said. "It looks like you guys really tied one on after your golf game today."

I sat up and took the glass of water she had brought and swallowed two pills. I knew I had drunk too much somehow, but I was feeling very confused about the details. I saw the golf clothes on the chair, but I had the feeling that that wasn't quite it. But my head was hurting too much for me to focus.

"I'll be back in a half hour or so to see how you're doing," Bonnie said, and went back out.

It took about 15 minutes for the pills to start working against my headache, and after 30 minutes I was feeling a lot closer to normal.

Bonnie came back in to see how I was doing. "I wanted to see if there's anything special you wanted for dinner. I was waiting to see how you were doing before getting started."

"I have a better idea," I said. "We should go out for dinner, someplace fancy, like Deux Escargots."

"Deux Escargots? Isn't that really expensive?"

"I know," I said, "but I feel like celebrating. We haven't done anything like this in a long time."

Bonnie smiled. "You think we can get a reservation this late?"

She was right, it was probably a long shot. I looked up the number on my phone and called. We were in luck, they had had a cancellation for 8:30.

Bonnie looked ecstatic. She headed to the bathroom to start fixing her hair.

I headed downstairs to the kitchen, got out a container of orange juice and drank a glass. Orange juice always made me feel better, and was the best thing I can think of for a hangover.

I sat in the kitchen for a while, drinking a second glass of orange juice, and then headed up to get dressed. I used the other bathroom to get washed up a bit and comb my hair, which was in pretty bad shape after that afternoon. Then I went into the bedroom and got a medium gray suit out of the closet, along with a patterned red tie. When I was finished dressing, I headed downstairs to relax on the sofa.

After a while, I heard Bonnie coming out of the bathroom and heading to the bedroom to get dressed.

It was getting pretty close to time for us to head out to the restaurant, but fortunately Bonnie came down the stairs ready to go. She was wearing her little black dress, which I hadn't seen her wear in ages, had her hair down and had put on make-up, and looked stunning. She looked almost like she did back in college, only she looked even better now.

* * *

Les Deux Escargots was downtown, and its parking lot was small. Fortunately, they offered valet parking, so we were able to get out right in front of the restaurant and walk in.

It was, as Bonnie had suggested, expensive as hell. I had been there once for a retirement luncheon for my company's former CEO. In the evening, it was known primarily as a discrete and romantic setting for the well-heeled. Lots of red velour and dark wood, and formally-trained waiters and a leather-bound wine list.

Bonnie was totally amazed. She kept looking around and smiling at everything.

"How did they come up with the name, 'Les Deux Escargots?'" she asked me. "Doesn't that just mean two snails or something?"

"Well, they do serve snails, and they are really good," I said. "Maybe it's some kind of romantic image? You know, like two snails crawling slowly along together, leaving a trail of slime."

"That doesn't sound very romantic," Bonnie said. "Slime?"

"Well, I'm not sure about romantic, but maybe sexy? If you think about it?"

I watched Bonnie think about it for a moment, and then she laughed. "Okay, I get it. I guess it is kind of sexy."

I checked in with the Maître d', and he asked discretely if I wanted a "date menu" for my partner. The idea is, that if someone's out on a date, maybe they don't want their date to see the prices and get freaked out. I told her regular menus were fine. I wanted Bonnie to see the prices.

The Maître d' led us to our table and seated us. The waiter came over with menus and filled our water glasses. Another waiter came over with a breadbasket and a container of herb butter.

Bonnie was still in a mild case of shock from the setting, especially since it wasn't something we had planned out way in advance. It was like, poof, suddenly we were here.

We sat studying our menus for a while. The Sommelier came over with an intimidating leather-bound wine list. I wasn't sure that either of us really needed more alcohol, but on the other hand, a meal at a place like this without wine would be ridiculous.

I looked at the Cabernets and chose the second cheapest one. I could see the Sommelier was hoping for a chance to hold forth on the fine points of different vintages and pairings, but that could end up being a very expensive discussion.

When the Sommelier departed, the waiter returned to take our order. I ordered escargots as an appetizer. "They come in garlic butter," I explained. "That's why people love them -- the garlic butter. I know garlic isn't always the best idea for a romantic evening, but we'll both be having it, so maybe it will cancel itself out."

Then we each ordered our main course, and the waiter left.

Bonnie and I looked at each other. Then Bonnie put her hands up on the table and I took them in mine, and we just sat there holding hands and smiling at each other like crazy. Neither of us was ready to say anything, but we didn't need to. This was a perfect moment, a perfect expression of what that afternoon had meant to us.

Finally, Bonnie said, "This has been an amazing day, hasn't it Ted?"

"It has," I said. It had been amazing, I guess, although, for me, in a bunch of bad ways as well as good. Still, I was the one who had suggested coming here to "celebrate." All I had to do now is figure out why.

"Ted, I know the whole thing wasn't your idea at all, and I'm pretty sure you weren't entirely comfortable with some of it, but in the end, wasn't that greatest fucking sex we've ever had?"

I noticed that the waiter, who had been coming to our table with the escargots, must've overheard something because he had backed off discreetly to wait for a good moment to bring our appetizer.

"The waiter's here," I whispered to Bonnie. She looked back and saw the waiter standing there with a platter of escargots in hand.

"Oh, right," she said, and smiled to the waiter to let them know it was safe to approach.

When the waiter left, she laughed. "Did he hear me?"

"I'm pretty sure he did, but I think they're trained to take such things in stride."

Bonnie had never eaten snails before and was looking a little wary, but when she tried it, the garlic butter convinced her. "These are great," she said.

When we were done, and the waiter had taken our appetizer plates away, Bonnie returned to the subject at hand.

"Think about it, Ted. Would you rather just have played golf today?"

"Of course not. Absolutely not. Something really beautiful came out of it. That's why I wanted to bring us here for dinner."

Bonnie smiled. "Something really beautiful did come out of it, didn't it? And we needed that, didn't we? Both of us. And we needed that most of all. It was more amazing than I ever expected, and I know you weren't expecting anything good at all."

"Well, I was having a lot of trouble with that whole William and Will thing. I couldn't tell whether I should be pissed off at you for flirting with my boss behind my back, or whether I should enjoy being hit on by this hot housewife. They were both going on in my mind at the same time. Like when you were shimmying your boobs at him, I had never seen you do that before. I had no idea you knew how to do that. And here you were doing this for somebody else."

"That's exactly the point, Ted," she said. "Of course I knew how to do that -- it's not that big a deal, pretty much any girl can do that. But when we were in college, we were having sex all the time anyway, and I was afraid that if I did that, you would think I was acting slutty and you would be turned off. But this time, I wasn't doing it for you exactly, but it sure did turn you on. And I don't know if it would have if we hadn't been role-playing. You know?"

I thought about it. She was right. If she had done that early on, or probably most any time before this, it probably would've freaked me out on some level. But this morning, it was pretty much all I could think about. I saw how sexy she was in a whole new way.

"Sure it was confusing," Bonnie said. "But that's what made it work. It got us into a totally different space. That's why I bought those shorts, which I never would have worn normally. It let you think about me in a very different way. And it let me have sex with you in a completely different way. I wasn't worried about being the same way we always are. It gave me space to get horny and slutty as hell, and it gave us both a chance to have the hottest sex that maybe we've ever had in our lives. We've had that potential all along you know, but we lost so much along the way, just letting things get routine and boring. And this was anything but boring, right?

"The 'comfort zone' people talk about is a prison, especially when it comes to sex. Sex should be exciting, right? The sex we had been having was okay, sometimes pretty good, but some other times kind of meh. If it had been really exciting, we would have been doing it more."

I was trying to put together all the pieces of what she was saying. "You're right," I said. "You're absolutely right. When you were coming on to 'Will,' I was trying to figure everything out, like trying to figure out if it was me or my boss you were hitting on, but I was just making everything complicated. And the thing is, at the end, I felt more connected to you, and I think we both felt more connected to each other, than ever. When we were in college, we were horny all the time, and the sex was great, and we didn't worry much about the rest of the connection. Then we had all those years together and things became routine and we took our connection for granted. Today, it felt like everything came together, the sex, and all the years we've had together.

"There was a country song I heard on the radio once. I don't remember much of it, but there was some line about, 'Today I started loving you again.' And that's what it feels like."

Bonnie smiled and put her arms back on the table for us to hold hands again. "That's exactly how it feels," she said. "I love you, Ted, and I'm so glad we're together. And thank you for bringing us here tonight. It's perfect."

* * *

The rest of the dinner was outstanding, and the wine was impeccable.

For dessert, we ordered a slice of flourless chocolate cake with vanilla ice cream and split it between us, feeding each other as we went.

When we were done, the waiter took our plates. I ordered two cognacs for us.

The waiter brought the cognacs, and the check. The total was semi-astronomical, but I was more than satisfied.

While we were sitting there sipping our cognac, Bonnie asked, "What would you think about a third round when we get home tonight?"

"I'm not quite sure about that," I said. "We set the bar so high today, I kind of doubt I would be ready to compete with that after another half bottle of wine tonight plus this. I had been thinking that tomorrow is Sunday, and we have no plans for the day. Except, maybe, for some things I've been thinking about."

Bonnie smiled. "And what might those be?"

"Well," I said, "maybe it would be better to wait until tomorrow morning to tell you about them."

"No, it wouldn't," she said. "I want to hear you tell me right now, right here in the restaurant."

What the hell? I mean this would be hard enough for me to talk about at any point, but right out here in the middle of the restaurant floor? I sat there, trying to figure out what to do. Did she really mean it?

"Ted, either you tell me now, or it's not going to happen. I'm not interested in trying to make you comfortable. I'm tired of that. I want to hear you tell me right now, out loud, right here at this table. The kinkier it is, the happier I'll be. If it's kinky enough, I'll probably start getting wet right here in the restaurant. Here's your chance. And it's the only chance you get."

* * *

I couldn't quite believe this was happening. I mean the whole thing this morning had been weird and confusing enough, even though it did end pretty well. I had gone ahead and suggested this restaurant as a relaxing and romantic reward for a very complicated day. But somehow, Bonnie seemed to be more interested in keeping it weird than in romantic toasts.

This was embarrassing as hell. I was sure that all the waiters and all the diners at the other tables had their eyes on me and were listening carefully for me to lay out all my dirty secrets. I was almost tempted to decide it's not worth it. But that is not how this worked. If I didn't tell her, if I didn't speak up, not only would tomorrow morning not happen, but I might as well flush this whole day down the toilet and go back to the way things had been for so long.

I leaned forward, trying to shorten the distance between us so I could avoid having to announce my perverted fantasies to the entire room. Bonnie sat there, not leaning forward, as if to make this as public and awkward as possible for me. "So?" she said.

"Well," I said, speaking in the lowest voice I could, "when you were shimmying your tits at me this morning, that was an incredible turn-on -- even if I was kind of disconcerted by everything that was going on.

"I mean it wasn't like I hadn't seen your tits before, but this was different. It was almost like you were a different person -- this hot blonde with this incredible rack. I know you already figured out how much it turned me on. Anyhow, I haven't been able to stop thinking about your tits since then.

"So, what I was thinking, my fantasy maybe, was to have you sit naked on the side of the bed with your lower legs hanging down. And I would come up and stand between your legs and lean down and start kissing your breasts and sucking on your nipples to get them hard. Once your nipples got hard, I would start running my tongue around them and playing with them and pushing them in and then sucking on them some more. And I would try and get your breasts and your nipples as wet as I could with my mouth.

"Then I would stand up so my hard cock would be about at the level of your breasts and your nipples. Maybe you would take my cock in your mouth and get it wet too. Then I would take the head of my cock and rub it around your breasts and your nipples while you looked down and watched everything. Then I would start pushing my cock in against your nipples, moving between one and the other. I would be fucking your breasts and your nipples, and feeling your breasts wrapped all around the head of my cock."

I looked over and saw that Bonnie was now leaning towards me, and wanting to be sure to hear every word.

"I would keep on fucking your tits that way while we both got more and more turned on," I went on. "When I started coming, I would move from one breast to the other and just come against your nipples. Then I would reach down and rub my come all over your breasts and your nipples and then kneel down and start sucking on your nipples again."

I wasn't sure what Bonnie would think of any of this. I stopped and looked to see her reaction.

She had a big smile on her face. "I love it. I love hearing you tell me about your fantasies. You never would have done that before. That one is sexy as hell, and kinky too. You've come a long way since this morning, Ted. I think you'll remember telling me about this in the middle of the fanciest restaurant in town for a long time.

"And yes, that does turn me on. Makes me wish we were at home right now and I could be watching you and feeling you fucking my tits.

"So? What else? You said, 'things,' which at least means more than one. I want to hear the next one. That is, if you want to get to do it. Those are my rules." She was trying to look stern, but actually she looked as if she was trying hard not to laugh.

* * *

Really? Keep on talking like this? I had been hoping that story would be enough, and I could save the other for tomorrow morning. But it was clear I had to keep going. She was having way too much fun.

"Well, remember those incredibly short shorts you were wearing? Whenever you were walking to the kitchen, or leading the way upstairs to the bedroom, I couldn't take my eyes off your ass. Your ass just looked so incredibly cute and so incredibly sexy. I mean I was getting so horny, I was thinking about just trying to grab you and carry you upstairs fuck the hell out of you and forget about the rest of it. But I knew doing that would piss you off.

"Anyhow, your ass. After I fucked your tits, we would hop into the shower together and soap each other up. I'm really glad we had that big shower installed couple of years ago, so we can just stand there with water coming out at us from all directions.

"We would dry off and head back to the bedroom. I would start eating your pussy and sucking on your clit and fingering you until you came. Then I would move down and start kissing and licking along your taint towards your ass. I would have you turn over and get up on your hands and elbows and I would keep going, licking and sucking all around inside your ass cheeks.

"Finally I would start running my tongue back and forth across your rosebud, and then place my lips around your rosebud and start sucking on it while I played with it with my tongue."

I saw Bonnie leaning even closer listening to me. She seemed almost to have stopped breathing while I was describing all this. "Don't stop," she said, "keep going."

"When we were both really turned on, I would get up on my knees behind you and start fucking you doggy style. Normally I'm not that big on positions where I can't see your face, but in this case, it would give me a chance to keep looking at your ass and playing with it. I would take your ass cheeks and play with them and pull them apart to see everything. I would start moving my thumbs around on the inside of your cheeks, moving slowly down to your asshole. Then, while I was fucking your pussy, I would pull your cheeks open and start sliding the tip of one thumb into your asshole to play with you at the same time.

"Somehow, the idea of fucking you and playing with your ass at the same time just got into my head. I know it's kind of weird, but this morning was pretty weird, and, I don't know, maybe I'm taking this too far?"

Bonnie reached her hands over to mine. "You're not taking anything too far. Hot and sexy and kinky are what we've been missing for so long. I love it, and I love that we can talk about all this with each other at last. And find new things to do with each other.

"From now on you can do anything you want with me, Ted. Anything at all. Even if you think it's kinky, don't worry. Just knowing you want it, and you want me, turns me on."

"This has been a perfect evening and a perfect place, Ted. However we came in, I'm happy to think that we're leaving here as two snails in love, sliming our way through life together."

* * *

It had been a beautiful but exhausting day. So many things had changed. But I was excited and helpful about how much better things were going to be between us and for us going forward.