Lessons in O-Chem Ch. 05

He was laying in bed, staring out the window. He had oxygen tubes in his nose and he was hooked up to IV's. It made Laney sick to her stomach to see how pale he looked. She took a breath and he looked over at her suddenly.

"Professor-" She started. but he cut her off.

"What are you doing here?!" He said forcefully.

Tears sprang at her eyes. "I just wanted to see you." She said weakly.

"It is over between us!" He yelled at her. She was surprised at the intensity in his voice.

"Professor-" She said, fighting back tears.

"I never want to see you again!" He screamed at her.

"You don't mean that." She cried out softly, unable to hold back her tears.

In response he reached over, grabbed a box of tissues and hurled it in her direction. She ducked and it hit the cabinets above her head. falling to the floor with a dull thud.

"Go AWAY!!" He screamed. She had never seen him so angry. His cheeks had turned bright red and his cold blue eyes stared at her with a fury she had never seen before.

She paused for a second, wishing she could go to him and comfort him but knew it was futile.

"It's over!" He yelled as she ducked out of the room, tears stinging her eyes. She felt like she couldn't breathe. She ran back to her car, chest heaving and her face wet with tears.

She waited awhile before she felt well enough to drive. She waited even longer for him to call her.

But he never did.

The Professor came back to school just after the semester ended. A few weeks had passed since the medical scare. Sean taught his classes while he was away. The Professor came in to grade the final exams and realized Laney's exam was missing. He looked at his gradebook and noticed someone, presumably Sean, had written down a "C+" for her final.

"Sean I noticed one of my students' exams is missing." The Professor said carefully. Sean had stopped by to check in with the Professor.

"Oh yeah, ah I forget her name, I think it was Lisa-"

"Laney" The Professor interjected, trying not to sound impatient.

"-Yes Laney. She took it a week early. I guess she had a trip or something going on that interfered with the class."

The Professor took off his glasses. "Can I see her exam, please?"

Sean looked nervous. "I'm not sure what I did with it."

The older gentleman sighed. "Look, if you come across it please drop it off."

Sean replied, "Will do, Sir."

Well that figures, the Professor thought. He hadn't heard from Laney. He was relieved and depressed. It had been a long time since he had dealt with a breakup and he was surprised at how emotional he was feeling. At home he could distract himself with his chemical research, but being back in his office at school made him realize that at some point he would probably end up seeing her around. She was all done with his class, but she had one year left at school. She still had some biology classes she needed to take that were in the same building.

That summer he thought a lot about their relationship. More than once he would wake up, reaching out for her but she was not there. He realized he was going to hurt for a long time. As the fall semester approached, the Professor realized he was feeling a buildup of anxiety and hope. Secretly he couldn't wait to spot her. But he was also afraid. He looked up her schedule and saw that she had a biology class at the same time that he was teaching his chem class. The classrooms were right down the hall from each other.

The morning of the first day of school, the Professor got to school very early. Maybe she would stop by before class. Maybe they would talk and catch up. Maybe she missed him, too. Then he sighed. He was too old for her. He hated dealing with the mixed emotions. But in his heart, he couldn't wait to see her.

He looked at the clock on the wall in his office. Class would be starting soon. He stood up and gathered his lesson plan. Then he went downstairs.

There was a bustle of energy in the halls as students hurried past, looking for classrooms and talking with friends. He started walking towards his classroom, and lo and behold, Laney was walking towards him.

His eyes froze on her face. She hadn't seen him yet - she was trying to find her class. She really had no sense of direction. Her skin was tan, as if she spent most of the summer outside. The clarity of the moment brought a pang to his heart and a rush of feelings as he studied her beauty.

The students in front of her moved aside, and he saw that she wore a white sundress. He puzzled in consternation as he realized she had filled out. She was no longer the skinny girl he remembered so well.

Then he looked lower and he felt the blood drain from his face. She was very round.

She was pregnant.

The Professor sagged against the wall amidst throngs of students as he watched her find the classroom and turn, offering a profile view of her body, showing the unmistakable bump.

Before he knew what he was doing, he ran down the hall to the door of the classroom. She had chosen a spot towards the middle of the room and was just putting her bag down.

"Ah." He tried to clear his throat as several students looked over at him. "Laney. A word."

It wasn't a question. She seemed to hesitate, before getting up and walking towards him.

The hallway was becoming less crowded as classes were about to start. The Professor walked briskly around a corner and down the hall to a quieter area. She hurriedly tried to keep up with his pace. He strode into an empty classroom at the end of the hall and held the door as she walked in. Then he forcefully closed it. Laney jumped at the sound. She sat in the front row as he walked to the podium, a hand on either corner, and stared at her for a good minute with cold blue eyes.

Finally he spoke in a deadly quiet voice. "How far along are you, Laney?"

She shifted uncomfortably and looked down. "Four and a half months."

He put his hand on his mouth for a second while figuring out her approximate conception date.

"Is it mine?"

It was a shitty question. Laney tried not to be offended. "Yes it's yours." She said a little coldly.

The fact that she gave him slight attitude seemed to ignite his emotions.

"I'm sorry." He said sarcastically. "Did it even occur to you to possibly let me know about this!!" He shouted at her, getting louder with each word. Laney shivered as she heard his booming voice seem to echo in the empty classroom. "What is wrong with you! I'm going to lose everything. You screwed me over!"

The Professor was furious. His hands were gripping the corners of the podium so tight that his knuckles turned white. He was staring at her with a mixture of anger and shock.

She had had about enough of his attitude. She stood up. "Relax! No one knows it's yours. I don't want anything from you. You leave me alone!" She shouted back, not caring if anyone could hear them. She pulled open the door, walked through, then slammed it shut behind her.

He put his head in his hands and took a deep breath.

Gary was a teacher in the chemistry department. He was in his 40's, with a short, plump stature, a receding hairline and glasses he was forever adjusting on his small nose. His specialty was analytical chemistry. He had just finished making his coffee and was leaving the admin office when he spotted the Professor walking towards him briskly.

"Hey Pat!" Gary said cheerfully.

"I need to talk to you." The Professor said as they walked towards Gary's office.

"Is everything ok? Hey don't you have class right now?" Gary said as he sat down at his desk. The Professor shut his door, then sat down across from Gary. "Sean is teaching them." He muttered, distracted.

"What's going on?" Gary asked.

The Professor put his head in his hands for a minute before speaking in a low voice.

"I got one of my students pregnant." He said quietly.

"Wow." Gary said, adjusting his glasses. "It's that Laney chick right?"

"Yeah. We started-" The Professor stopped as a thought occurred to him. "You don't seem too surprised. How did you know?"

"Ah." Gary said, talking a sip of coffee. "I went to visit you at the hospital. I got there right after she showed up. I heard you guys...talking for a minute."

"I never saw you in the hospital." The Professor said, confused.

Gary didn't want to let on that he had heard most of their exchange. He had actually followed Laney to the Professor's room without her knowing. When he heard them start fighting, he backed away and waited for them to stop. Of course, she ran out a few minutes later, sobbing uncontrollably. She ran right past Gary without even seeing him. Gary could hear quiet crying coming from the Professor's room and decided not to stop in. It sounded like he wanted to be alone.

"I saw her leave. She seemed upset. I thought maybe you needed space." Gary said.

The Professor had a feeling that Gary knew more than he was letting on but decided not to ask. The Professor heaved a sigh. "I'm screwed. I'll probably get fired. I'll probably have to sell my house and move. Maybe she'll take me to court. I'll have to support her and the child until I die." He looked like he was about to cry.

Gary thought for a minute. "Look, I know being a parent is scary. You are never ready for it. My wife and I tried for three years before getting pregnant with our twin boys. It was all we wanted until we got to the hospital to have them. That was the scariest day of my life because nothing really prepares you. But it worked out. Look, Pat, I've known you for 15 years. And even if I didn't know about your relationship with her, I've got to tell you I've never seen you so happy until last year. Laney getting pregnant doesn't have to be a bad thing."

The Professor grabbed a tissue from Gary's desk. "I'm way too old to be dealing with this."

Gary took another sip of coffee. "Talk to her. You guys can make this work."

"I did talk to her. It didn't go well." The Professor sighed. "She said that no one knows its mine. She won't tell anyone. And she wants nothing to do with me."

"Hmm. Well, let her cool down and then talk to her. You should try to help her. She is probably scared out of her mind."

"Me too." The Professor said softly.

Weeks passed, and the Professor gave the situation a lot of thought. At first, the Professor was furious that she didn't reach out to him. After awhile though, he started getting used to the idea of being a parent. There was a part of him inside her. He had sown his seed and started an amazing process. She was getting bigger and she was so beautiful as her body developed motherly curves. In a weird way he was kind of proud that he had knocked her up. Laney was a strong, beautiful woman who was carrying his child.

Of course, she no longer acknowledged his existence. She would avoid eye contact in the halls and run into her classroom before he could talk to her. He also noticed she seemed to walk with other groups of students now, which wasn't like her. He knew she was a loner.

The following Friday, the Professor got home late. He looked at the clock and realized she was probably done with work. He thought a minute, then picked up the phone and called her.

She didn't answer. He wasn't surprised. He decided to leave a message. "Laney, it's Patrick...I need to talk to you. Please call me back." He paused, then hung up.

He kept the phone by his side all weekend but she never called back.

He didn't see her on Monday. He knew she had lab on Tuesdays before lunch, so just before lab started, he went to the second floor to see if he could catch her.

Just as he opened the door and stepped into the hallway, he saw her walk by.

"Laney!" He blurted out.

She stopped and looked over. Surprise gave way to annoyance as she stared at him. "I have class." She said, and started walking away.

"Laney, wait." He wished more than anything to reach out and grab her hand and make her listen to what he had to say. But as it was, there were already some other students hanging around at the end of the corridor. He knew he could get in serious trouble for pestering her.

She turned and kept walking towards the classroom.

He stood there watching her as she walked away.

It was Friday evening. Laney was tired. She got home and made a quick salad and sat down with her dinner in front of the TV in her apartment. She absently watched the news as she ate. She looked at her phone. She hadn't listened to the voicemail the Professor left her. The little VM icon was visible on the top left side of the screen. She sighed, got up and washed her dishes. Then she showered and got in bed.

She fell asleep quickly. She dreamed of the Professor sometimes. This was one such dream. He was walking down the hallway, away from her. She called out to him but he ignored her. She tried to go after him but she was stuck.

"Laney!"

She woke up, sitting up in bed suddenly. The voice sounded so real. She waited another minute before laying back down. She started crying quietly to herself.

"Laney!" The Professor called to the locked door. He had banged on the door and called out to no avail. He waited a minute, then gave up, walking slowly down the hall, with his head down and heart full of sadness. He got into his car and went home. He felt like he was out of options. How was he going to make her listen to what he had to say?

Another week had gone by. It was a crisp, cool Friday morning. Laney parked her car and grabbed her planner. She had a quiz today. She put the planner back into her bag and got out of the car.

"Laney."

She turned, and to her surprise the Professor was walking over. It caught her off guard. No one else was around.

"What are you doing here?" She asked.

He walked up to her and dropped to his knees. "Laney. I am so sorry. I'm sorry for everything. I'm sorry I put you in this position. I'm sorry that I yelled at you." He grabbed her hand, with tears in his eyes. "I didn't grow up with a father. And I don't want that the same thing to happen to our child. Please talk to me."

Laney immediately felt a swift regret that she had been so cold to him. She grabbed his arm and helped him to his feet. "Okay, get up, get up." She said quickly. It was weird to see him grovelling at her feet. She could feel her resolve waver as he pleadingly looked at her. "Look, I can stop by this weekend-"

"Tonight." He said.

"Um, okay. I will stop by tonight after work. Maybe around 7." She said.

To her shock, he reached out and hugged her. She inhaled. It felt so good to smell him. To feel him against her. She had to fight to keep the tears at bay.

"Come over as soon as you can." He whispered.

Just after seven, she pulled up to his house. She hadn't been there in about six months. It felt weird to be back. She realized that they started their relationship about a year ago. She looked down at her expanding belly. A lot had changed.

She went to the door and he opened the door before she could ring the doorbell.

"Laney." He had tears in his eyes as he reached out and embraced her. She was still kind of mad, but it felt so good to be hugged by him. She stood still and felt his warm body against hers.

He pulled away finally. "Please come in."

To her surprise there were multiple bouquets of flowers scattered around. She laughed unexpectedly. The Professor had never given her flowers during their relationship. It was a touching gesture.

He grabbed her coat and he gave her a bottle of water as she sat at the bar overlooking the kitchen. He was in the middle of making dinner.

He went back to the potatoes to see if they were ready. "I'm so glad you're here." He said with feeling, looking over at her.

"So you're not planning on yelling at me tonight, huh." She said casually, giving him a sidelong glance.

He went over to her and grabbed her hands, giving them a squeeze. "I'm so sorry I reacted the way I did. But you have to understand it was the last thing I expected. I never wanted this for you." He looked at her belly. "Laney my God. You must have been so scared. Why didn't you call me?"

She sighed. She could feel tears threaten at the corner of her eyes. "You were so mean at the hospital. I don't know why you changed but I was afraid to come to you. I thought you wouldn't care."

She noticed a tear run down his face. "I'm so sorry. You caught me at a really bad time. You make me feel young and invincible. When I had the mild stroke, I felt scared and powerless. And I wasn't ready for you to see that side of me. I didn't want you to see me weak." He picked up a hand and kissed it.

"Are you okay?" She asked.

"Yeah. I have to have doctors appointments more often and try to have a healthier lifestyle, but overall I'm fine."

He got up to check on dinner, then asked, "So what happened?"

Laney left the hospital in the pouring rain. Despite the poor conditions of the weather, and her heart, she made it back home where she cried until she fell asleep.

The next few weeks were tough, mostly because she was afraid that the Professor would come back to school and ignore her. She took the exam a week before everyone else just so that she could ensure that she wouldn't have to see him. Once her classes ended for the semester, it was a relief to know that she wouldn't have to creep around the science building, trying to avoid him.

And her body felt weird. She couldn't pinpoint it but she just didn't feel like herself. She blamed it on the breakup. She would sometimes forget to eat. And when she did eat, sometimes she would get nauseous. And her pants were tight. She blamed the weight gain on her irregular eating habits. She wasn't taking care of herself because she didn't care. Some days she felt like a zombie, just going through the day to day motions, trying to make it to the evening so she could go home and sleep. Laney felt so empty inside. The Professor had been so good to her. And now she had nothing. She missed him so much sometimes it was hard to breathe. Her heart would ache, and she would cry until she had no more tears. She felt destitute without his love in her life. She knew she had to carry on but was having the hardest time finding the motivation to heal.

Then, weeks later, she had her OB/GYN appointment. She stripped, sat on the table and waited for her doctor to come in.

After what seemed like forever, her doctor finally knocked and came in. He was about 10 or 15 years older than her, with short, curly dark hair and warm brown eyes. He was a gorgeous man. He asked her a few brief questions, then started her exam.

He opened the front of the gown, exposing her breasts. He grabbed the end of the stethoscope and started to bring it to her chest, when something caught his eye. He adjusted his glasses and looked closer at her skin.

"Ah, Laney. What is this from?" He asked tacitly.

She looked down and suddenly noticed about half a dozen small dots below her heart and knew instantly that they were pin pricks from the love serum the Professor had concocted. For some reason it look a long time for the pinpricks to heal.

It's a really funny story, she wanted to say. My boyfriend, I mean ex-boyfriend is head of the chemistry department at school. He is crazy for chemicals. He actually has a lab in his basement where he hangs out and makes insane chemical reactions that have a direct effect on the processes of the human body. Isn't that insane?

Not only was it insane-it was unbelievable. Her doctor looked at her expectantly.

"Um." Laney cleared her throat. "Bug bites I guess."

She could tell he didn't believe her. He gave another look at them, then put the cold end of the stethoscope on her heart. He listened for a moment.

"When was your last period." He asked.