All Comments on 'Life as a New Hire Ch. 24'

Odd: would'nt have thought Carrig would be tasked with that, but not at all bad. Also surprised he survived, but from the ending I'm guessing he didn't entirely survive unscathed. The explicit Goddess scenes are a bit weird, but all in all quite nice.

Excellent work! Carry on...

Looks like Tadêfi and/or Sikia is going to have one of his heirs. Dot Ishara is quite the planner. I can never get enough of this series, thanks as usual FinalStand!

FinalStand gave me this reply that he allowed me to share with the rest of his readers.

The SD team and Delilah were going over matters at the SD apartment across the street. Sure, Cael can take her word for it, but the SD chicks don't. That was the hole in their security. SD was momentarily distracted, Estere was protecting Libra in a bad neighborhood late at night while on a food run, and Pamela, counting on the other two factors, wasn't around.

FYI: The scene were the SD was running across the street to Cael's because they have his place wired and Odette's screams alerted them to the danger. The Feds/NYPD were monitoring the place visually - no warrant yet, and they see the four SD chicks, followed by Delilah, rushing in.

Fed: "Freeze! FBI!" (Flashes badge)

SD: (flashes their badges)"Havenstone Security - follow us!" (They are the ones in body armor, wielding PDWs after all)

Fed: "Huh...what the fuck?" (Decides not to shoot the women who are ignoring him)

Two SD weapons killed Lumpy (finally, though he was pretty much a goner when he showed up at Cael's anyway). Those are the two weapons Maddox refers to when she interrogates Cael at Havenstone. In fact, that is why she is allowed inside the facility. Katrina is working with Javiera on this matter. Javiera put the SD member wounded in Chicago in a Havenstone medical facility while under round the clock federal surveillance with some 'friendly' interrogation.

Katrina/Havenstone is not up to working with the US Federal Government, but they are willing to work with Javiera, which is a big enough step in, and of, itself.

Again my thanks to FinalStand for a great story. I am greatful to be a neer-do-well

Just when you think you know what is going on, a new plot twist comes into play. FS, you weave these threads into a tapestry that is truly magnificent!

Okay, you're really pushing on my supply of superlatives. As such, I'll shut up now.

being told to pop a certain cherry by your goddess should mean first heiress

Really love the story here and like the goddess moments mixed in with delightful irreverence. Thanks for anonymous's explanation though. The Unk bit really didn't make sense as in how he got so close. Could have just had him as a suicider instead though and that way it didn't need to be a shock he appeared.

By the time Uncle Carrig arrived at Cael's building, he was dying from his wounds. The timing of events was critical. The team across the street was interrogating Delilah. The Federal Task Force team didn't understand the relevance of this seemingly drunk man going up the steps. Several groups had left the domicile so Cael had every reason to be anticipating company. Then there was the downpour, thunder and lightning confusing perceptions for everyone involved.

The last bit of 'strange' was that Lumpy was so badly hurt, he rang the bell. Had he tried to knock the door in, Sovann, Timothy and Cael would have been in the living room and fought Carrig at the same time, greatly increasing their chances of holding out until the Feds and SD arriving less than a minute later. But no, Lumpy was in so much pain, disoriented by his injuries and by the force of his final directive that all he could muster was to ring the bell. Seeing Cael's face, reignited Lumpy's rage and the rest is history.

Off-screen, yet hinted at, is that the SD arrived first, finished off Lumpy then surrendered their weapons to the Feds, hinting at some level of cooperation between Havenstone and the Feds established before the firefight. SD is detained, but not arrested (the issue of his 'four' bodyguards). Cael wakes up at Havenstone, not some regular, or military, hospital, but has a federal investigator close by. The World does not stand still.

An Orphan Black (yay Clone Club) [Tatiana was cheated at the Emmys], Tarzan, Animaniacs and the musical Chicago references. All in one story. I can die happy now.

I had hoped for a more enlightened outcome for Hayden after the archery incident... Oh well....thanks for the amazing story.

... There we go. Hope Caél can fight it!

...did he get stabbed in his brain? Or, did they implant aomething there? If it was there, I didnt catch it.

But they don't know what. Nor does Ishara. It is there, and you did miss it.

Ishara wanting Cáel to have sex with the first woman he sees might not be to beget an heiress. It might be to prove the point that augers do not need to be virgins.

Story all over the place and so convoluted but absolutely love it!!!

First off, I, as an author, found the two scenes involving Hayden's demise painful to write. The driving forces behind that decision - 1) these are Amazons, not the Campfire Girls. They are a bloody and unforgiving people and 2) as Hayden said, she was able to regain her courage at the end.

She started out wanting to save her people. When the New Directive was about to be implemented, she balked. Tessa and Katrina fought for an extensive policy. Hayden refused to defy the will of the Council and demanded the original plan be 'trimmed down' - her act of cowardice. The only person who could save the Amazon race was Hayden; its her job. Had she stood up to Krasimira and Cáel, she would have won and they would have been shamed. Cáel and Krasimira would have compelled to take their own lives. Their deaths would not have solve any of the Amazon problems. Her death can...so she 'Amazon-ups' and faces her end like a heroine.

Not only did she accuse enemies of the New Directive to be traitors, she declared the whole idea of opposing the New Directive as treasonous thought.

At most, Hayden would only reign for 10 more years. Instead of passing on a race clinging to the past and on the verge of extinction, she hands over a people embracing hopes for the future - the adoption of 'Runners' and some level of 'Warrior-Fathers'. Of course, the latter is still very much in the discussion phase about actual societal rights/duties, numbers, and...sons. Not even Cáel has discussed bringing a single man into Havenstone, much less House Ishara.

(The Device)

The object in Cáel's brain...okay. For starters - this encompasses both the Cyberpunk and Steam Punk genres. Essentially this is 'brain-taping' (actually, memory insertion, but the memories had to be recorded to begin with) with an electro-mechanical device. Do not try this at home. In fact, never try this.

First off you had the suction-like device. It created an air-tight seal when activated. It fired a thermite-style pellet into his head, specifically to pierce a precise amount of skin and skull matter. The heat was sucked up into the cup to keep the brain undamaged.

Next, there was a one inch thick cylinder. Inside was a sonic device that created a primitive map of Cáel's brain, a long, thick needle, a stabilizing device to aim the needle, and a precise charge to propel the needle to a pre-determined depth between the two hemispheres of the brain, causing a non-disruptive amount of trauma.

Once in place, an energy cell inside the needle unleashed its power. The etching on the needle channeled that energy to certain areas of the brain. It also shut his brain down to a minimal level of activity to lesson the damage to his psyche/personality. In the story, channeling all that energy into so much neuro-matter at one time would have broken Cáel, or anyone else. To deal with this issue, the current flowed around the brain and was gradually transcribed into neuropathways - mainly to the long-term memory centers (things like languages) and muscle memory. That resulted in a week-long coma for Cáel.

[Spoiler Alert]

This is NOT the insertion of Cáel O'Shea's persona into his grandson. The guy had back-up plans for his back-up plans. With Lumpy's imminent demise, one such plan kicked in. Lumpy dutifully hunted the 'target' down and injected him. Cáel O'Shea's reasoning being his loyal and dutiful daughters would kill their brother unless they located his true 'heir', Cáel. Face it, why would the daughters want to bring the Old Man back, when they can have his half-baked substitute as a co-dependent slave? They ladies are smart and ambitious...and they've been terrified that their 'Dad' had a way to cheat death he hadn't confided to them in, because, you know, they are EVIL. They were right and that is the problem. Old Man Cáel was ALWAYS one step ahead of his brood. They can't live forever without him, but they don't want him back (yes, Cáel's aunts have lied to him. People do that.)

Suddenly, some underpaid technician in some lab runs a genetic test and compares it to an international database. Procedure? Yeah, they were only to send it off in small samples, not the whole DNA sequence...but that takes too much of the tech's time. Ta-da! Bells and Whistles go off at Casa de O'Shea. They've found what they've been looking for. The new problem is the sample didn't read 'Cáel Nyilas'. It was assigned an alphanumeric code at Havenstone before they sent it out for testing. Breaking into the DNA lab won't do any good. They need to find out who gave the sample to the lab. Reenter Nicole Lawless - figuratively and literally.

Then Briana turns around and looks into her father's eyes...and thinks 'now what?' Is this Dad? Is this one of Dad's experiments? Is this some sort of demented trap? And less the aunts forget, they are junkies, jonesing for some serious 'Daddy Time'. Everyone knows how calmly and rationally junkies approach a situation. In their fearful minds, Cáel Nyilas Ishara might actually be Cáel O'Shea playing yet another mind game, figuring who is 'loyal' and who isn't.

Playing mind games? Brianna is seriously thinking about shooting this person (our hero) when 'Bazinga!' he works for...Havenstone...you know, the people who murdered him. Now think back to this woman having been raised by a genius, hyper-inventing Moriarty with a mean streak a mile long. What is real? What is the really, really Real?

At the funeral, the aunts think they've got the situation figured out. They now need to remove Lumpy (as they had planned all along) and retrieve their 'nephew'. Sadly for those little demonesses with flowing red-manes, ole Lumpy doesn't go down as easily as they hoped. Worse, by the time they tracked Lumpy down they are staring at Cáel's apartment and it is crawling with Feds, cops and Havenstone. To add some rat-droppings to their Béarnaise sauce, the Feds and Havenstone appear to be working TOGETHER. Wa-ha?

Katrina and Javiera are two rather brilliant women and realize sharing at this point is best for both factions. But from the aunts' perspective...are those two also working, knowingly, or unknowingly, for 'Dad'? There are some days they want embrace their sanity, kiss it good-bye, put on their homemade Pterodactyl suit and just jump off the Empire State Building. Who knows? They might yet find happiness before they die.

Please clarify the curse part of the story, i got some trouble understanding it

(and please forgive me. I'm in a serious manic phase right now)

The Curse was placed on the Amazon Race by the Goddess Ishara. She had Cael vomit up a rather large yet symbolic amount of the blood Amazons have used to seal oaths over the years. The curse broke down the power of those oaths. In 'Real World' terms, it slowly altered how Amazons prioritized their lives. Your loyalty to friends and family remained the same, but your willingness to put aside your wants and needs for a faceless/unpopular fellow Amazon was diminished. Amazons began seeking out more 'me' time because their devotion to their department, caste, profession was lessened.

As an example, Amazons are immaculate cleaners yet Pamela found dust in the knife dojo. Amazons take to assigned tasks eagerly. A 'Runner' told Desiree 'when I can get to it' as opposed to 'right away'. It starts with the little things. In the long term...Amazons swear Oaths to their Heads of House, to their caste and on major deals. Suddenly you feel fine with shirking duties the HoH gives you. Say you are the Armory guard...you think it is okay to take a coffee break. Katrina sends an ES operative to retrieve a piece of data. The operative decides that the challenge is just too exhaustive this time and comes back empty handed. In Amazon society, Oaths carry with them pride and dedication to their position. It has never come up, but the cleaning staff at Havenstone are Amazons. They dedicate their lives to keeping the building clean and pleasant to work in. It is how they feel they contribute. There is no 'overtime' or 'getting it done next time.' The woman emptying the trash is as diligent and proud of their work as a bodyguard, computer tech, or pilot. That is the power of Oaths in Amazon society and that is the realm of Ishara.

Finally, take a look at Ancient deities. They are a 'Don't fuck with us' crowd. Ishara, in her mind, made it abundantly that Cael was her designated heir, Head of House and rekindler of her name. She was HIS matron Goddess and to insult him was to insult her. That is Amazon Religion 101. The Amazon leadership got pissy and they earned her WRATH. Like ancient curses, there was also a way out. Like ancient curses, there was a heavy price to pay for angering the divinity. Saying 'I'm sorry' wasn't going to cut it. Besides, they weren't sorry...until it was too late.

This story has me totally hooked! I check back every day for new entries keep up the awesome work!

This is one of my top 3 stories of all time - thanks and really looking forward to the rest of it!

:)

Your writing continues to improve; I'm also getting more used to your style with time. It always has a fun flavor.

I almost always feel a step behind when one of the characters acts spontaneously. Cáel tends to do this most often. Puzzling it out what the hell he's up to, though, is less a frustration and more an entertaining challenge. In there end, you're great at creating that 'aha' moment when the situation unfolds and the original motivation - for acting in a manner that at first seemed confusing - becomes clear. This works well for the fast-paced beat of the story; it's constantly unraveling, like a giant ball of yarn rolling downhill.

Also, more Aya!!

I loved the interaction between Aya and Cael as well as her sisters and Cael. It was such a nice almost interlude to the rest of the story. To me it was sort of a way for Cael's mind to relax from all the crap going on. He got to play with kids and not have to worry about anything more than Caitlyn taking him and trying to make him her mate. Well that and the possibility of getting jumped by the older girls in the middle of the night.

FYI, in Canada, the Forces refer to the military, not the federal police. We simply refer to those as the RCMP.

I have become addicted, and as the only source of my fix, I urge you- more...please...and faster.

Now that I think about it, Cael's apartment is also a very big character in the plot. It helps Cael assert his (somewhat) independence from Havenstone. All manner of hulk-like-uncles, crazy-ass aunts, policewomen-wannabe-girlfriends, high-society-groupies, hotshot-laywers and assorted others can prance in and add another juicy twist to the story. This could not happen if he lived someplace more secure (like havenstone hq)

Anyone else get the feeling that he's going to be part of the ES community as well? From what ch.18 said in order to be a member you'd have to have a genetic link to Genghis Khan. Hungary being where it was during the days of the Mongol Empire its pretty likely that his greatgrandmother(x whatever) have it.

for lazy ppl this is the Mongol Empire @ its height,

https://guerreroerrante.files.wordpress.com/2007/01/mongolempire_map.jpg

This morning 092914, National Geographic News announced the results translating Ancient Greeks transliteration of Amazon names.

So far 'Hot Flanks' is my favorite.

at this URL:

http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2014/09/140923-amazon-greek-vase-translations-science/

illjoy: "I confess to nothing!"

Of course, such a thing is in the realm of possibility. The Mongols did invade Hungary and crush its army. They also ruled border regions of that kingdom for over a century afterwards. 'Tartar' mercenaries were used by various Central & Eastern European powers over the next few centuries. The best means of countering Mongol tactics was to hire some of your own. In turn, Chinese, Mongols, Turks, Koreans, Bulgarians, Russians, Poles, Lithuanians, Persians, Caucasians, Kurds, Arabs, Afghans and Indians all marched at some point under the Mongol banner.

fanfare:

(At the next Amazon Council meeting)

Cáel: "Let me get this straight - during a break in the middle of peace negotiations during the Trojan War, one Greek turned to another and said 'Look at the "Hot Flanks" on that one'...and that's the REAL reason for this 3000 year old feud?"

The councilwomen look around somewhat shame-faced.

Ngozi: "Well...it was rude and sexist. We take pride in the firmness of our thighs and buttocks as befitting those of all true warriors."

Madi: "Yes. Besides, you know what those Greeks were really thinking about."

(Pause)

Fatima: "I heard somewhere that Menelaus began humming 'Baby Got Back'."

(Every stares at her)

Fatima: "I heard it...somewhere."

Cáel puts his elbows on the table then bangs his head repeatedly against the hard, wooden surface.

I can't believe how hooked I am on this story. I think the characters are wonderful and this would make a great movie. Keep it going FS, I'm checking three times per day for new chapters. I also re-read every chapter at least twice to get all the detail. Love the humor. Pamela cracks me up, love her

More plot twists than snakes on a hot rock.

Got to love not knowing what is happening next. Better than the books I pay for.

Please please please keep it up.

As always, Be well my friend

FinalStand, no pressure, if you are in a bad phase right now, rest a bit. I don't kow if you have done any more chapters after 25, but even though we all like, don't feel pressured, ok? After all you started this one to cheer up cuz One In Ten was too dark.

Sometime you bitch about the rain, so it hails. My physical heal took a serious downturn so the doctors rolled the dice and decided to cut off my lithium. Lithium saved me from suicide. Lithium has been my guiding light. I've been off lithium for several weeks now...and Life as a New Hire has kept going. I find that incredibly promising. Sure, I have had bad days - too manic, or too depressed. On the plus side, no chapter had taken more than a week to write. Now...I confess, I have 25 ready to submit...and I haven't done it yet because I'm somewhat of an idiot as well, failing to manage my time wisely. I'll get right on it and thanks for sticking with it. If you haven't kept up with the drama...well, you won't be reading this, now will you. :D

What drew me into your stories was One in Ten. Has Israel poked up anywhere lately? If you say wait for this one to run its course, beautiful. I think that story deserves a proper send off at some point. I get that this one is probably a little easier (i.e. lighter) than the end of the world.

FS- Are you suggesting that we have 25 MORE chapters to look forward to? I'm enjoying this series so much that I come back every night to look for new chapters.

Sometimes I have a quick peek during the day, too.

If you are looking for someone to help with proof reading, I'd be glad to offer my services.

Chapter25 is done. I need to submit it. I apologize, I had a bad day mentally yesterday. Highly manic, so I was like a ferret on speed - running around but not getting much done. 26 is nearly 10,000 words. Hers is snippet from what I did yesterday.

(They have made it to Amazon Summer Camp - they have met Loraine first)

*“Wait,” Delilah stepped up. “Let me try this. Okay – okay. Cáel is a replicon Mephistophelian moppet facilitating a fascinus-based solar illumination system to replace current quantum logic clock technology.”

(when asked the meaning)

*“It means you lot – Havenstone – uses this young man’s cunningly constructed cock as a Sundial, Luv,” Delilah smiled.*

Luv this story can't wait for next chapter.also looking forward to the next Christian college sex comedy

First request - please take care of yourself. You might consider asking your doctor(s) about micro-doses of lithium....they recently did an interesting study re suicide rates based on the lithium in the water. I do not have a cite handy, but I am sure it is easily found on google.

Second request - with some very minor clean up, I think this would sell well as an eBook. Please consider republishing it in that format. Wonderful story! I cannot wait to see where you are going.

Hope you are well Finalstand. Enjoyed your One in Ten story, and I've enjoyed this series for it's comedy that makes me really laugh out loud. Hope you write a book someday, that book would be the first erotica I'd share with friends, haha.

Just finished reading all the chapters available and already cant wait for more. Really love the sense of humour and wording/sentence construction and the story you are creating. Just enough twists and turns so it doesnt get stale or feels forced. Cant wait for future releases.

This story is awesome and I can not wait for the next updates, I literally crave them every day. And as another person posted, if you turn this into an book series, I think it will go very far, you are a wonderful writer and your stories grab the mind and do not let go.

Please take care of yourself, we would all miss your work greatly and we want you to stay healthy and keep on writing these stories that have kept all of us on the edges of our seats.

My only criticism is that you seem unfamiliar with US standards of weight and measure...not a major complaint...its just Americans use feet, inches, miles, pounds and faranhiet, but storywise, great idea, you could make a tv series out of this

The whispered name is not enough.

His mother should have given Dahlia a code word to go along with her name, something from his childhood.

Absolutely anyone [like his Aunts] could give his mother's name as a recognition symbol.

Follows like a can of worms and a I like it !

I think Bigg_Mike put it best and now I will a shut up too .

Thanks again

TX CRACKER

Its an erotic story that is on its 24th chapter. Course it's wordy. If you wanted a short story pump and go you should have stopped by chapter 2.

Not the sex, not the porn, the writing. The image! Well done and thank you.

B.T.W. I quit jacking to the porn long chapters ago. I am a man that has an alarm as well as a job where at .... I find myself staying up too long reading.

I can not think of better words to say thank you for making my life harder then it has to be, your story is worth the penalty I impose upon myself reading it.

"Do any augurs develop Sapphic relationships with your guardians?" I asked. "Very rare...ly," Tadêfi moaned.

Well, I should certainly hope not! Sappho was GREEK!

(as was the isle of Lesbos)

... he, he, he. Good catch!

James aka FinalStand

P.S. Of course a 'lesbian' relationship insinuates it's from the Isle of Lesbos as well. Sometimes I just can't win.

Sapphic????

Really?

That’s Greek.

Did the Hittite’s have a word for it?

5/5

5⛤

Thanks for the Animanics reference, always bee a favorite