Life as a Sub Ch. 04 Pt. 01

Chapter 4 - Part 1 - Afternoon Appointment

Recap.

This chapter is from pages of one of my diary's that has a lot of red ink, and it remains in my mind to this day because, well, I think it was a complete act of betrayal. Yes, I was naïve, and I wanted to be wanted. I was hungry to please, and as I was just starting out, I wanted everything to be perfect. I don't think Bob's explanation about his actions excuse what he did.

Perhaps that is why I am still so cautious when on my own before meeting a Dominant. I don't know if that is a good thing and Bob actually did me a favour, but at the time it felt so horrible. Judge for yourself.

* * * * *

It was Monday lunch time. I was getting ready to visit Bob as instructed.

You, the reader, have heard me say this again and again. Once again, just before meeting a Dom, I was feeling nervous and anxious.

Ruth and I already had a long conversation about what I might expect, and we knew that it was going to be a special one on one with Bob this afternoon. Ruth didn't quite know what he was going to say or do but she gave me a rough idea. And those ideas put a lot of questions in my mind.

My instructions were, to wear my plug and ring, so I figured that he would be showing me more male orientated stuff. I was hoping secretly that he would be giving me some more swinging advice, but he could have done that with everyone around me. So many possibilities were going through my mind. Ruth said that if I cancelled, that would be the end of everything. I couldn't let that happen.

In my room, I showered, put my plug in, which, I must admit, went in surprisingly easy with just soap. I also made sure I was shaved so my cock ring didn't tug on any small hairs. I looked at myself in the mirror, turning to admire the cock ring. I tried again and again to see my plug, but admitted I was going to have to get another mirror. But hey. I was ready for this afternoons meeting.

I was getting dropped off by one of my mates today, so I didn't have to rush to get ready. So, nothing else was on my mind except getting dressed and looking the part of a true submissive.

After getting dressed in a jacket and jeans, I set off, but I was feeling hot under the collar and my sweaty hands told me that I was still nervous.

Once in the area, I asked my mate to drop me off a street away from Bob's house. I didn't want to have my mate's car associated with Bob and Claire's house, you know, just in case, and especially as I had already been seen a couple of times entering and leaving their house. Yes, I know, I could have been a student visiting an instructor, or just an innocent visitor, so really, I could have been anyone, but I played it safe, as usual.

Walking up the front garden path, I noticed there were still two cars in the driveway. I stopped at the door and knocked. I didn't turn around to see if anyone was watching, I just waited until Bob opened the door.

"Good afternoon boy, come on in." He was bare footed, fully clothed in an ironed pair of chinos and shirt. He stepped to one side allowing me to walk in.

As soon as he closed the door, he ordered, "Put your clothes there," he frowned and pointed to the bench, "then come into the living room. Let's get on with it."

I looked at him, nodded and took off my jacket. He had already walked off into the living room without saying anything else or even looking at me. My flight response was starting, and I was thinking this was yet again, another bad idea, but that feeling of the unknown was driving me on.

I had that feeling in my stomach and that made me excited. I really wanted to know more, so I undressed, and then looked at myself in the hall mirror. I checked that my cock ring was noticeable, and that I looked good. All ok, I then walked into the living room.

He was sat on the sofa, his right leg resting on his left knee, but as soon as I entered the room, I saw his face.

Oh no. That frown. Sitting up right, looking annoyed, he spoke slowly but angry.

"Turn around. Get out." He commanded. "Who the hell said you could just walk in here .... BOY?"

Oh my, he sounded mad. I quickly turned round; my mind searched what I had done wrong. Then I remembered. As soon as I was out the door, I knelt down, and re-entered, but this time crawling on all fours.

Like a switch, Bob's voice was calmer. He relaxed back into the sofa.

"Come over here and sit down." Bob pointed at the chair opposite him. I noticed it had a folded towel on the seat. I crawled over to the chair, got up and sat down. I was very self-conscious that I was naked, and he was dressed. I sat down gently, knowing that I would feel my plug push into me a little deeper. I knew this hard seat was different from a car seat, it was a little more unforgiving and harder on my bum. Thankfully the flat bit of the plug stopped it getting lost and going too deep.

"Good." He started. "Now. After our dinner party, I felt like I needed to have a quiet word with you, man to .... man, so we can go through a few things, And you ..... you can speak to me ....... freely ....... to get any concerns off your chest."

He looked at me, eyebrows raised as if he wanted me to confirm I was happy with what he was proposing. I nodded again and said, "Yes Sir," not knowing what else to say, but thinking, here we go again.

"This appointment is to correct an oversight on my behalf." He sat upright but comfortably as he looked at my face.

I frowned, as he continued. "Am I correct in thinking that this will be your first time having an appointment alone with a male dominant?" He waited for me to answer.

"Yes Sir, like this, in someone's house with ....... But I have been alone at times in some places Sir, the classroom for example ........."

"Good, good," he interrupted, "so this appointment ..... let's just say that we can finally talk without interruption." He laughed. "So suck it up, so to speak, and learn a bit more." He sneered.

He motioned with his hands that I was to open my legs. I didn't say anything, just did as he said. I positioned my feet as far apart as my legs would open within the confines of the chair, then as if it was natural, I put my hands on my thighs making sure I was fully on display to him. I looked down to see my little dicklet was all shrivelled, and I noticed my ball was looking bigger than my little penis right now. I put that down to the cock ring pushing everything up.

"I can see you're very relaxed ..... boy." Bob nodded at my dicklet. "Aaaahhhh, It looks just like a little acorn." He giggled pointing to my shrivelled little penis. "Gooooood. I want you to be natural ....... but not like that." He wiggled his finger at my dicklet. "I still want respect from you."

He reached over, placed his thumb on the top of my cock head, over my pee hole, and then between his forefinger and thumb, he pulled my loose foreskin towards him. He pulled it just enough to let it snap back. He did this a couple of times, looking at my expression. I knew he was showing me that he had that power, that superior right, to do what he wanted to me.

I accepted what he did, gently lifting my hips slightly to allow him easy access, but his touch already had me growing harder. He let go of me, sat back, then continued talking. "This afternoon, I want you to just be the sub you are .... be and behave how you think you should behave."

I started speaking. "Well, I had a few ......" He held up his hand to stop me talking.

He leaned forward a little like he was studying my dicklet. He giggled. 'Look at your little ball sticking out like a conker next to a tiny chipolata." He waited till the impact of his words sunk in, as my little dicklet now twitched hard because of embarrassment.

He nodded his head at me. "Pull your foreskin back. Yes, that's it. Let's see that tiny head of yours." He looked at me in the face then reached out with a hooked finger. He hooked my hanging ball, then lifted and pulled it. He lifted it enough to make me feel uncomfortable.

I felt humiliated but it felt like he was torturing me. Still lifting, I was forced to lift my hips as his pulling was getting painful. He continued speaking.

"Good. Now, tell me, how do you feel right now, .......... this minute?"

I waited to see if I could speak, then quickly gasped, "Well Sir ..... I am feeling ..... a little uncomfortable. I think ....." I panted. "You are making fun of me ..... holding my ..... my ball like that ..... to put me in my place." I winced and looked down hoping he was going to release me, but he only pulled my ball higher. My voice was sounding a little panicked and quick. "You know I am nervous Sir..... s, s, sat here naked. I ..... I," I stuttered, "and I accept that."

I felt him tighten his finger around my ball, and as I lifted my hips to relieve the pulling, he pulled my ball towards him even more. He pulled so much that he was making me stand. So, still trapped by his finger, I pushed down on the chair arms and pushed out my hips trying to stand as he pulled me.

As I was about to stand, I suddenly noticed his familiar scent of aftershave and his clean washed clothes. With my feet apart, my hands on the chair arms, my back was arched as I pushed my hips out to try to accommodate his pulling. Suddenly and to my relief, he let go of me. I was practically standing now, so I straightened and stood up in front of him.

"Feel the air on your skin. Feel my eyes looking at you and see in my face that I want you like that. Me," he tapped his chest, "I, as your male dominant, want you feeling vulnerable. I want you feeling that this is normal, natural in the presence of someone like me ...... especially dressed."

"Yes Sir." I said, looking at his ironed shirt and trousers.

"Look." He pointed to my now growing dicklet as my mind took in what he was saying. "Your little dicklet is telling me that you are enjoying this. Being on show before me. You are my little sub bitch, and you know that you are being respectful in my presence. Good, feel it, be it."

He sat back on the sofa, making sure his legs were open wide, then made a circling motion with his hand, so I slowly turned. "Your future dominants will want to inspect and comment on your body ..... making sure you are without hair." He giggled. They will make fun of your cheeky little bubble butt." I kept turning. "Your inadequate little dicklet, and especially they will make fun of that little ball of yours." I stopped turning and stood still facing him, my arms by my side.

Bob smiled and nodded at me. "Put your right foot on the chair." I lifted my leg, placing my foot on the towel. "Pull your foreskin forward and up like I did just now and ....... and pull so that it lifts your dicklet. Show off your little ball." I did as he commanded. He laughed. "You are, without doubt, such a natural submissive, and I so wish that you would stay with us."

He looked at me as his words sunk in. He looked down at my now hard twitching dicklet and smiled waving his hand at my leg.

"Put your foot down," he continued, "this is why I want so much more time with you boy. You saw Andrew. Now, he was a real bitch and suck boy. He left us, and now we come across you, and of course, frustratingly, now you are leaving us."

I shrugged my shoulders as if I was sorry. He shook his head.

"You can feel my irritation can't you. Every time I find a good boy, they get up and leave."

I looked him in the face, but it felt uncomfortable, so my eyes flitted around the room behind him.

"Ever worn Ruth's panties or bra?" My eyes looked back into his, my eyebrows rose questioningly.

"Well?" I nodded nervously as he waited for my answer.

"I tried to get into a pair of her panties, but they were too small, so she gave me an old white pair. I didn't think they were hers as they were too big, but on me they were snug but ok Sir. She found it funny as I wore them for her. And as for her bra, well she wasn't going to let me stretch her nice ones, so she got an old flesh coloured much larger one from somewhere. The boob cups were enormous and after she had finished laughing, we both agreed that I didn't look good dressed as a woman Sir."

I could see his eyes squinting, and I wondered if he was imagining what I looked like in a big bra and panties. He smiled and giggled, so I smiled.

"It wasn't to see what you looked like as a woman you idiot. It was to prepare you for what will happen in the future."

My smile quickly faded as I listened, embarrassed at not understanding his meaning. He then described what would be required of me by some dominants. His words got me wondering. Even though I wasn't turned on wearing women's underwear, his words were amazing, exciting, sounding so loud and prominent in my head.

As I listened, I was thinking, he just told me something else that I hadn't actually thought much about. I didn't personally think I was ever going to look too good as a TV, in bra and knickers, but he had me thinking about what I might need to wear, regardless, especially as the purpose would be to humiliate me.

But now, this minute, I wanted to please him ..... Bob. I wanted to show him that being naked and being touched by him was embarrassing and humiliating, but I was happy with it and wanted to do whatever he commanded.

Looking at his face, I saw he knew that I knew. "Thinking about wearing some panties?" He asked, looking at my dicklet pointing at him. He suddenly leaned forward and gave my erection an unexpected little sideways slap. I flinched as his hand made contact with me.

"And make sure that your mind works to makes this ......." He gently slapped my dicklet again making it throb even harder, but this time I didn't move, just accepted his smack and enjoyed it. "That this little thing, shows them that you are respectful, and you want more." I nodded as Bob continued.

His voice sounded almost hypnotic as he repeated and re-enforced his words. "Believe in this. You are not entitled to wear clothes when with a dominant." He let those words sink in. "You are to be compliant. To show that you understand your place in this world." He looked at my face for any reaction as he slapped my dicklet again. It made me throb harder.

"As a submissive, you must understand that you will always show your Master or Mistress respect. You are to show your dominant that you are there for his slightest whim." He gave me a downwards slap this time and I flinched as it was quite a hard smack. "Buuuuut, ...... it also shows, in your case, that service to your dominant, makes you excited. Always show off your dicklet to show them that. A Master or Mistress likes to see that their submissive cares and is proud and happy to be in their company."

I understood what he was saying. Once again, I was already feeling his power over me. Just thinking of what he had said and his constant looking at me while he sat there, had me automatically excited. I couldn't hide the fact that my dicklet was sticking out at him and bobbing and wobbling with each beat of my heart and smack of his hand. Bob continued speaking, glancing at my cock with an almost undetectable smile.

"What we are doing this afternoon ..... is called conditioning. For you to be like this." He waved his finger, pointing up and down at my naked body.

"Do you feel happy hearing this?"

I eagerly nodded and looked at my dicklet as he spoke. His eyes were smiling.

"Good. That pleases me."

I stood there waiting for his next slap. He laughed. "Let me tell you some history."

As I stood in front of him, he relaxed back once more into the sofa, staring at my face. "Look down at your little dicklet pointing at me." I looked down. I made my little erection twitch again, and again to show him I was excited to be with him.

"Give yourself a slap." I did it immediately, without question, slapping my dicklet with my right hand. He smiled.

"You know ..... the term dicklet comes from back in Victorian times. A small, tiny penis was called a dicklet, and then name was usually given to the young suck boys penises to deliberately embarrass them. When the dominant and sub were with a group of friends or, or even in public, they often talked about the suck boy's little dicklet, usually so that the suck boy could hear."

He leaned forward again, reached out and pushed my foreskin back between his forefinger and thumb, then sat back. Oh yes, even though my foreskin felt tight, I liked his rough touch. It made my dicklet head throb harder and a deeper purple.

He continued. "The power of a dominant over the suck boy must be absolute. The suck boy will understand and always want this power over him."

I frowned as I thought to myself, everything he is saying is nothing new. He had told me all this stuff ages ago. He was repeating himself, it felt weird.

And then I remembered now that he also went through the same things the other night too. Why was he repeating it to me. Was Bob losing it?

It was like I knew what he was going to say. The same words about a suck boy or submissive being respectful, naked, showing respect by being hard, knowing my place etc, etc, I knew this, why keep saying it all over again?

As I wondered, I couldn't help but think about my first time and the embarrassment I underwent in the classroom, with Clive, and then again, my introduction to Bob and the others at the swing party. I even remembered my reactions. And then with Bob and Claire, with Claire's amazing, delicious bum, oh yesssss, mmmmmmm.

Again, he continued, now looking to his crotch. "You admire my cock." He continued and pointed to mine. "I want you to show your attraction to wanting my cock like this. And as you do, let's talk about that little thing you call a ball. Show me that little thing."

Oh, here we go again I thought. I looked down at my hard pointing dicklet. I pressed it against my stomach so I could show him my ball, so tight now in my scrunched-up scrotum.

He laughed as I showed him. "Very nice boy and it's such a cute little ...... thing." I sighed as if I was getting bored of his continuous comments about my ball.

"You know Claire loves to see and feel it. Me, well I just like you to know that I know about it. I want you to be proud that you know it makes you want to be submissive. And ...... I want you to remember that others know about it too. Its out there. And they also know you are a cock sucking sissy bitch suck boy." He smiled at me. "Know and want that."

His name calling and words of abuse turned me on. I liked it that he was commenting on me, on my body, calling me degrading names, pointing out my flaws that made me different.

"The other night. You remember holding my balls in your hands?" He sneered.

From his look at my face, he knew I remembered. And he was right. In that minute I was now daydreaming holding his amazing, big, heavy balls, feeling their softness, their shape, their power. Oh, they felt so nice in my mind. Two large masculine testicles, rolling loosely in his ball bag and in my hand. There was a sort of longing in me to admire them. My dicklet twitched betraying my thoughts. And then I wondered what it must feel like to have them hanging from my body.

"Put your hands behind your head .... and open your legs wider." He commanded. I did as I was told. "Now keep your eyes looking here." He pointed to his crotch where I was sure I saw the big bulge in his trousers twitch.

I continued to daydream about what was in his trousers, my little dicklet betraying my thoughts as it made little twitches up and down. The whole situation I was in was exciting, but I suddenly wondered why was I getting so worked up? Meanwhile, he totally relaxed his body and sat more comfortably in the sofa, widening his legs apart for me to look at his crotch while he watched my dicklet amusingly bob up and down.