All Comments on 'Life as a Venn Diagram'

Interesting concept! Thanks for posting :)

Very well written intelligent story far above what is usually found here. Depth of characters and the perspective is outstanding. Absolutely no BTB required having presented a most unique set of circumstances, and if you believe it's not really like that in HK I can assure you it is, pre 97 and today. I hadn't read this author's work before but I'm heading to it now. Thank you very much for this. 5*

First of all there was about 2-3 pages of story here. You have SO much detail and just plain junk in this that the actual story line is lost in the jungle of extraneous words. Secondly, the main characters are just awful people. Sans someone to root for I had no interest in what happened to any of them.

1 star

First of all, I want to say thank you to you and your talented editors (yes, I've read most of them) for the effort that went into this. The writing flows fluently and, best of all, the characters are well developed and the plot is well crafted and shows creativity. For those who read this after me, I suggest that if you really want to appreciate this fine example of writing, take a look a "February Sucks". That author also writes fluently, but the character development and plotting are a train-wreck of inconsistent character development and cobbled together LW cliches and very tired tropes. I wish I could give this a 10.

This story was long , but I thoroughly enjoyed both the story and the craftsmanship. I'm looking forward to your next. BTW, you have a great group of editors.

When trying to leave Hong Kong and being confronted Mandy and Ang Lee Alex should have called her a dishonorable cheating whore and told everyone the clan has no honor because their wives all like to fuck around with big dicked men in London.

He would have been killed but it would be better than spending additional months being lied to and manipulated by Mandy before a marriage in which he will never truly be able to trust her. she clearly does not respect him so only a matter of time before she cheats.

I don't like walking out of a film part way through. I will read summaries and reviews.

Series on TV I'll sit and watch an episode without too much info, knowing the kettle isn't far away.

Your title grabbed my interest, but your tags gave me nothing.

Did you really mean arraigned marriage? A typo or meaningless phrase in tags put me off.

41k words over 12 pages killed it.

Didn't read, didn't score.

Don't know if this is constructive enough.

Epic length, kind of like a James Clavell novel, but a very interesting look at a world I know nothing about. I enjoyed it and have it a *5. I feel like I just finished Tiapan again.

Alex is noble, perhaps too noble and too patient. In reality, his little tantrum was much ado about nothing because Mandy knew she could get away with almost anything. Her life in bondage was horrendous but Alex was the perfect piece to her inconvenient puzzle because he pliant and malleable. There wasn't much turbulence or meat on the bones for a story of this length; it could have done with a few twists to spice up twelve pages of a man only just realizing he has reached the end of his tether

I have a major project on my desk, and it had to wait until I read all the way thru this. I liked the characters and the story line, and it unfolded with enough angles to keep me wanting to know what would happen next. The ending happily wasn't a surprise, it was the journey that was important. Parts took me back to my two visits to Hong Kong, one pre-97 and one since, and to the power of the Peak. Thanks for a good read.

So...she was a sugar baby. Hmmm. Doesn't sound like wife material to me but she does seem to be crazy about him. Little late for all this truth telling. If it was going to put him off, maybe he wouldn't have gotten on the plane.

Rich, with depth and excellent character development. Always a pleasure to read your work. You and your editors are to be commended

Walk of shame? I don't think so. Damn proud I'd be.

Probably should have dumped her a long time ago. WAY too much baggage.

he had to force her to come back. she just bounces from one slavery contact to another interesting. the really big thing that stood out to me besides the slavery is she is going to have to go back to HK and stay in the same building as her ex. who sounds extremely shady. feels like a doomed relationship to me. that being said it was entertaining and enjoyed it. oh yeah u should rephrase to stop using "got"

Most excellent story!

After about three pages, it honestly started to drag. Too many subtleties, too much mystery, too many hidden agendas and schemes, filled in with little fulfillment. Even at the end, Mandy's issues are still still not resolved.

He had the patience of a saint, much more than me.

Great story but you need to sacrifice and separate good information from the superfluous. Too much filler hides the meat of the matter.

I gave up halfway through page 5. I just couldn't anymore.

Stilted characters. Laughable plot. A main lead that's made to be utterly contemptible by page two. Catering to simp land supreme. Other reprehensible characters. 90% fluff to 10% actual story.

Bloated, pace waddled along and not engaging, nor characters relatable, instead alienating the reader.

Probably won't like this critique so guessing it'll be "moderated".

Incredibly well written.

Very very impressed, have to say it.

Should have been in 2 or 3 parts!

5

so you have a guy who stays with a woman that will not and won't tell him anything like she is some secret agent and he hangs around? She could be screwing every guy in town or in HK and he would never know and doesn't care. She agonizes about going to vacation with her love of her life because Alan says no and when he objects she tries to barter between the two, As he said he was not her first choice but he still stays?

Plus she is NOT HIS WIFE so this is in the wrong category. Go to erotic couples or non erotic.

Agree with ‘way too long!’. Take out two-thirds of the ‘I have loved only you from our first meeting!’ and four fifths of the ‘But you lied to me!’ and it would have been a better story. We-The-Readers can (mostly) remember important stuff like that! The entire scuba visit was useless, IMHO. He coulda headed back to his cottage and she comes in 4-5 days later and he comes up with the 3 month deal. It didn’t even provide much interesting stuff about the area nor any stuff about good dives! WTR coulda done without re-cert requirements of full-face masks.

Not even too sure if this doesn’t belong in Non-Erotic. Sweetie’s Hubby wasn’t really that anymore and her fiancé was denied Hubbydom for six years. And, per her agreement with Legal

Hubby, she was not cheating!

4*

An outstanding story! You took your time to develop the characters. You have a wonderful ability to let the reader feel the angst. This story was NOT too long. Sounds like some LW readers prefer a Dr. Seuss book.

A bit too long, but I enjoyed the story, it was very well written.

Get a clue. I’ve been yelling at my tablet since page two to get the liar out of your life. Can’t you hear me?

When he proposed and she turned him down, it was time to end the relationship, not let it drag on in limbo for another 6 years. He could've been married and had a couple of kids by now.

Ang Lee was vile scum. He enslaved and raped an innocent 17 year-old. Mandy then spent another 14 years as an indentured servant, working for free to pay off a debt she had nothing to do with. For over a decade, that poor girl had the threat of mass rape at a whore house hanging over her head if she put a foot wrong.

I'm surprised Alex didn't try harder to get Mandy to cut all ties with Hong Kong for her own safety. In his position I would've convinced her to sell the apartment, resign from the job asap, and never return there.

if you want cardboard characters and a cookiecutter plot. ("I turned onto my street, there was a strange car in our driveway.")

The writing, character development, and plot are far about the usual for LW.

Well done!

Danger Will Robinson, danger!

Seriously, get the fuck out of town and tell her to forget she ever knew you. Change your locks and your number.

Far too long, if the reader starts skimming and still knows whats going on in a story with characters who have no redeeming qualities at all its time to look at your writing and remove the unnecessary, this was a 3 page story at most and also a girlfriend is NOT a wife.

Left Grandma's ring behind. Not just no, but HELL no.

Love "sort of" conquers all, as long as you have the "Ang" of it! Well Alex was an interesting character, working in the school that he was working in, I found his time talking about his job pretty interesting, unfortunately most of the epic was spent distracting where Mandy was coming from and at some point I figured out she was married and I'm stupid so if I could figure it out I thought Alex should have known WAY before the trip to Hong Kong. Alan was a complete asshole even though he lived through the conversations between Mandy and Alex and it was never 100% clear if Mandy was more than a bank executive, had she been doing some work for the bank on her back as well.

So I am assuming Mandy's father was a citizen in China or Hong Kong, he got himself in trouble with Ang Lee with the knowledge that the only daughter who stayed by his side in his own divorce would pay off his debt in a whore house. Thats a pretty shitty father, and the rest of the family up and abandons a teenage girl to Hong Kong after the father is killed? Will there be a sequel looking into that polluted gene pool? As a professional there are huge problems with Mandy that Alex didn't go through, her fucked up family for one, not to mention......Slavery? At some point I kept thinking Alex was being too harsh with her and when we got to the end we never really knew what was happening those last months in Hong Kong and why, Mandy can't shoot off a text or an email to the most important man in her life yet has the energy to go clubbing. So lots of flags there. Also Alan seems to be too big for his britches, I kept thinking if he was in New Jersey and pulled this shit there they'd just off him, what was his super power that kept him safe from Ang, it was obvious that Ang did think of Mandy as a daughter so I would imagine Alan would be respectful to Angs wishes where his foster daughter was concerned.

Anyway, great stuff, this was a great read and distraction tonight and I enjoyed it immensely always a treat to see new work from our LIT LW Legend authors. I'm not 100% sure if I'd like to come back to this story or not, Mandy's fathers tale holds some interest for me even though I know how his story ends, I think the group that bothers me the most in this world you made would be Mandy's Mother and sisters. There has to be so justice there somewhere. Seriously I can't their abandoning a teenager like that, it's evil.

Note to self, always know what any tattoos on your woman mean.

Page 10

I don't think we're shown much if anything that makes Alex appealing. He seems, as Any Lee said, shallow. Mandy is in a life and death situation with very little discretion and Alex comes off as a petulant drama queen endangering her life.

Helluva yarn...but she likes working for a FUCKING TRIAD!!! Awe HELL no.

Five stars but what happens when the Triad takes their kid as a hostage for some reason? Fuck that. Find a nice sweet girl from no where who thinks you hang the moon and move the hell on. Just begging for trouble.

Excellent story and I love the way you wrote this. A story like this needs all the space it takes up, so don't take heed of the critics telling it was boring or too long.

However, this story does not end here. It is only the first part of the whole story. The end shows the loss of face of Ang Lee because of the actions of Mandy, his daughter. And believe you me, she is still his daughter until time ends. The tatoo shows this. It may look like the dragon is cowered and is shackled to you. But the Chinese are nothing but subtle and love layers within layers.

You forget that when the dragon is shackled to you, you are on the other end and the dragon is stronger than you and will pull you with you when it moves. The dragon is Ang Lee and it will pull you with him, wherever he wants to go. You are now shackled to him.

So the next part of the story will be for him to pull you into his orbit by forcing mandy (and you) back to Hong Kong because her replacement does not work out and she needs to take charge of the clans finances. Ang Lee knows what you do for a living. For him it is just work what you have, there is no family or famiy obliogations that needs yoou to be in the UK.

So Ang Lee will force the two of you to go back to Hong Kong and for Mandy to direcetly supervise the finances. For you he will arrange a clinic whereyou will continue your work on troubled children. However these will be the children of either his onw cland, tightening his grip on their parents and the children of business associates or potential associates and tighten the bond with them. For the Chinese, family is everything. This is both a strength and a weakness.

Also Mandy will learn, through Alan, that Ang Lee arranged for the murder of her father, Thereby putting the relationship between Ang Lee and Mandy under a lot of pressure. Alan does this because he still resents the divorce and acts in the way that if can not have Many, no one cans. Of course this leads to Ang Leed arranging the murder of AAlan, puting even more strain on the father daughter bond and also on the marriage between Mandy and Alex.

I hope this is enough of a plot description for you to create the second part of the story. How you resolve this second part will of course determine the need for the third and final part. Chinese love things and situations in three parts.

I hope I am not too presumtious her for me to take you to task on this and show you how this story needs more than just the threads you have woven in this story. With all what you have shown us, the Chinese part is, for me, the most fascinating part.

I would suggest to read Tai-Pan by James Clavell, if you have never read it, to give an insight in the earlier traditions and Chinese triad business in Hong Kong and the dealings of a westerner with this. This is the environment where Ang Lee is coming from and the traditions that will still play a part in this story.

Thank you for taking the time to write another great story. I hope you will continue this storyline.

From a Dutch fan.

Your love for this story and it’s characters shines on every page, and the writing is gorgeous.So great job. The clash of cultures was well done.5*****

Wish you had written one.

"Our waiter walked over to us, and Mandy stopped talking. He inquired if we wanted anything else to eat or drink. I realized our glasses were empty and the plates clean, but I couldn't recall touching any of it. Mandy nodded, and I asked for some more drinks and snacks. We waited for the waiter to leave before continuing our conversation."

Now multiply that pointless tedious interlude by about 100. You seem to have a compulsion to "decorate" your story with tidbits and behaviors that not only add nothing to the story, but are tedious and distracting.

Which is too bad because it is a great plot. But if you want a slow cooked stew then use chuck roast and piles of other vegetables and ingredients and simmer it for hours. However for a really prime piece of meat or fish, just a quick sizzle and its done. You took a filet Mignon and made hash. What a waste.

And the final version of the tattoo emulates the story. What she kept adding just detracted from the intended effect. Less would have been better. It appears you ran off most readers. As I write this there's a 2.03 piece of fag cuck shit that's got 42 comments; this story has 8, counting this one.

Thanks for the effort.

Well written story that had a lot of potential, but was drawn out with unnecessary aspects. Should have pulled the pin after second no to marriage proposal. Too much deceit too go back. And if the clan was somehow a legitimate enterprise, then what would he have to fear. Perhaps a prequel from Amanda’s point of view would have been something to consider. Not sure if secondary characters were helping or hindering the story. Confusing.

I spent some time in Hong Kong in the early 1950s. You followed the "outline" for this tale as well so that even a bit long was captivating enough to pursue. Thank you.

Marvelous story; well conceived and executed. Your editors, though competent, missed about ten or eleven problems--that's a fantastic record for this site!

One of those that you can’t put down. The author did a fantastic job of making me invested in the outcome. I actually had to stop reading for a few minutes to calm down when Mandy stopped calling and missed the deadline! 5 stars.

Three stars. I’m involved in the story to the point of serious anger. I don’t mind all the length, but it could be edited. The layers of lies make me wonder what the British government might say about the bank activities. Illegal snooping on a credit account is the least of their problems!

He should never have gone to Hong Kong. Danger was written all over that scenario. Better to lose the girl.

And reading it confirmed, believe it or not, some of the conflicts in my own life. So , thank you for the unintended introspection.

But this story, like mine seemed

destined to end in sadness and disappointment , and the story suffers from that..

You are a very talented writer and spin a good yarn. Please continue to write for all of us. Thank you!

There are a lot of readers who daily look at the Loving Wife section for a good read. I got that with your story. Yes we can all nit pick but overall I enjoyed the story. I would have happily lived with her forever even with her week in Hong Kong.

Thank you and your team and I am sure there is another story waiting for these two lovers.

Great Read ( for the most part)!

Loved the exotic settings and well chosen and depicted supporting characters who were crucial in giving reader some clues about Mandy who was prone to offering selective truths.

The narrator often seemed petulant and didn't have my sympathy nowhere near as much as previous narrators portrayed by this author did. Kudos to Andyhm in depicting just how torn Amanda was with convoluted obligations imparted to her by late father.

Two quibbles! I thought Alan deserved a bigger role or at least a face off scene with Alex where he communicates how hard it is to irrevocably lose Amanda. I also wish the reader (via Alex) was in the room where Alan is forced by Ang Lee to relinquish his claim to the woman he loves.

So much of this story has noir cinematic feel though which is a genre where uplifting conclusion is not common. Kudos to Andy Hm for making this happy ending quite credible.

The truth wasn't easy to discern and took a long time to out. If you love to read, the length of story is immaterial as long as author has skills and passion. It wasn't perfect but the pluses weight and high degree of daring and difficulty easily tilted scale over minuses to my verdict.

Ergo the obvious score

Full marks *****

Great tale

I enjoyed every aspect of it. The ploy and characters all worked well and made for a fun evening of reading. Thanks for sharing your talent. 5*

Really good and an easy 5 stars. I thought it was a little long and was almost tempted to skip a few pages but resisted and really enjoyed the read. Keep them coming.

I found once I got into the story I wanted to finish it and not put it down. There was some redundancy but not much. As I continued to read I found myself anticipating what was around the corner; some times I was right on and others I was off the mark.

This was a good read.

Unlike some of your commenters, I don't have a problem with the length of your story. In fact, I thoroughly enjoyed the whole thing all the way through. The slow dawning of the truths and untruths in his relationship was superbly blended drop-by-drop into the story, and something so convoluted could only become clear after a lot of explanation, cleverly blended in through dialogue between the MC's and the side-characters.

The title is particularly apt, as the relationship he thought he had was only the narrow intersection of their lives, while she had a whole life outside that commonality. Love, lies, crime, high finance and danger. What more can you ask for in a good story?

Thank you, sir. 5*

Secrets and lies kill relationships. A marriage cannot be built on them. They are quicksand. Amanda has created a universe that would make it impossible for any honest man to trust her. She has lied to him and manipulated him from the very first moment. Every move she has taken has been for her exclusive benefit.

Her very sad circumstances repeatedly endangered her boyfriend’s life over and over and over. If she really loved him, she would have let him go. Wanted him to go!

That is all

~Enkidu

Not perfect but head and shoulders above the peer competition. Plot and writing was sophisticated and engaging. Character development a bit less so. Amanda a bit too willing to accept with little complaint protagonist constant protestations and slights. A woman that had survived her circumstance would have a bit more depth and edge to her character. Regardless, excellent and very entertaining story. Thank you.

Well written. Interesting and different. Thanks for taking the time to develop interesting characters. I would have liked to hear a bit more at the end about what she did for 4 months at the end. What is the deal she made? Why was she not comunicating much at the end? What did she spend 4 months doing?

I liked the length of the story. Like a book I could stop reading and let what I read sink in. The next day of reading was more enjoyable and had more thought and less emotion. He truly loved her to have stayed through all the crap

Great characters, good action and suspense

One of the best.

anon.1

First time I read anything you've written.

YOU ARE GOOD.

I will proceed to check everything you've written before.

Please, keep up the good work and...

...keep writting

Well done!

Very enjoyable read of a well crafted story.

I can echo Lordslamdawg's comments about Mark's petulant nature.

Just curious as to why Mandy didn't pull her trump card and threaten to switch banks taking the Ang Lee account with her.

Like others have stated excellent read

This was a pretty good story as these types go, but I can't help feeling the ending didn't measure up to the story. So many red flags were raised and only a few were accounted for. I get that is part of the story writing bit, but they weren't diversions as much as dead ends.

As for her connected "dad;" I doubt Ang Lee would want to see his family crest cowering and chained at the feet of a gweilo.

as all the lies she told......And she'll never walk away alive......not from the Triad

The good: It was a fascinating tale of interwoven lives. You are a talented writer.

Not so good: I could not identify with any character, except maybe Ang Lee (giving him the benefit of the doubt for being form a different culture). There is a difference between love and infatuation, and I did not respect Alex at all. "Lovesick puppy" comes to mind.

His GF had plenty of "reasons" to lie to him. What she lacked was the courage and integrity to walk away from him, and instead lied by commission and omission over and over again. And Alex took it.

When the pseudo-villain And Lee is the most respectable character in the story, I can't give it high marks. I stuck with it to the end hoping for a reason to like one of the characters. ANY of the characters. Didn't happen.

Four stars .. just.

Whilw the basis was not bad, the push / shove vs his moral standing and the lies and illegal activities that he was unknowingly pulled into, and still exist with Mandy involved in lend an air if “WTF? how did he abandon his morals?” into this tale. It was written it appears as a reality / believable type tale. This aspect is what makes it less than very good.

JMHO YOMV

Very well written.

Great one. Thanks for sharing.

WOW! This dynamic story just capture me and each new step was a pause waiting to find out how they end up. Absolutely 5 Stars. Well, really 4.99 Stars. The ending was flat. There was more opportunity to create tension for the characters and nothing was really resolved, just deferred.

Well-crafted story. Only a very few wrong homonyms, Well-developed main characters, Enough action to keep it moving.

Two thoughts: First, with HK being absorbed into China recently, this kind of story will become more and more difficult to write. Second, there were times when I wished the main character would grow up and stop pouting and flailing around. He almost screwed up the best thing that had ever happened to him by trying to get his way. Maybe it worked out for the better, but maybe if he's just let it ride for the last of the 15 years it would have resolved itself on its own. Seems like most of the guys in these LW stories are either total deluded wimps who can't see that the woman in question doesn't love them and actually enjoys being cruel, or else they are so solicitous of their own feelings that they act like babies when they don't get what they want. It's rare that the man in an LW story acts like a man. I think that has something bad to say about the state of our civilization.

Anyway, Good job! Keep writing.

R.

I'm still on page one as I write this bit already I have a feeling of Deja Voodoo.

A few years ago I was reading a review of a British TV series where a woman, who spent half of her time in Hong Kong and half in Britian, had married an Englisman. Every month or so she had to go back to Hong Kong for her work and then would return to him some time later until she had to do it all over again. This went on for a year or more until he got news that she had either gone missing or had been killed (my recollection is hazy).

He eventually went to Hong Kong to try and find out what happened and discovered that she was already married to a man there. I never saw the program and reviews of further episodes were less favorable, but I always thought it would have made a great Loving Wives story (man meets woman of his dreams, gets married only to discover she already has a husband).

Is it just coincidental that this story is opening with what may turn out to be a similar premise? It really doesn't matter because I never saw the show and only read the reviews, but this story is already showing some similar concepts.

First, this story made me remember James Michener's book "Hong Kong" that I read a long time ago. It went through the history of Hong Kong and part of that was about the Triads there. I read his "Hawaii", as well, and both were great. Each book was probably like a thousand pages long, and I couldn't put them down.

Second, I just have two slight quibbles with the story. I thought the last page wasn't needed. Just rehashed everything that we already knew, and the story ended a little flat I think. It should've ended with her surprising him as she did and tell him, "it's done, I'm home now." And maybe the bit about the tattoo change. Everything else seemed to be a repetition of things we knew.

The other quibble when I was reading it really bothered me, but as the story progressed I let it go. It was the MC's reaction that he was the other man, and how hard he took that. If the love of my life told me that she was almost sent to a whorehouse for a life of slavery as a prostitute I would have been devastated to think of that happening to her. Then he is told that she was owned by this triad so her life was in danger constantly. With all that his worry was not about the well-being of the woman he loved, but that she was married and he was the other man, even though he knew she was forced to marry him, and they were separated since she met him. Only in the world of LW would that take precedence over worry and caring about the woman you love.

Interesting read, 5 stars!

I've just finished the whole story and I have to say it held my attention the whole way through. I also agree with JOHNADP that the ending felt a little flat, especially after all the shadowy bank and Sung Clan stuff which seemed to foretell even more mystery and, perhaps, a little mayhem but in the end came to nothing.

As I read it I was thinking of Wayne Wang's "Chinese Box" movie (and I was also listening to the theme sung by Dadawa). The movie is the story of an English correspondent (Jeremy Irons) who is living in and reporting on Hong Kong in the lead-up to the Chinese handover. He falls in love with a Chinese woman (played by Gong Lee) and then he discovers that she is actually a prostitute. Very similar vibe to this story in that there are lies and deceit, and nothing is as it seems.

Well done, 5 stars from me.

Very well thought out and intriguing story. held me spellbound from start to finish

I liked it. I was expecting a little more toward the end - I thought the big reveal about Alan would be that he had framed her father, and Ang would end up taking care of Alan and letting her go.

Some writers don’t know when to stop writing.

I started...and I finished, never once with interest flagged.

No virgin whore. A woman stuck in rough circumstances.

I enjoyed it.

I really wanted to give you full marks on this, your word-smithing is second to none. However I found her constant deception & endless pleading ( to a psychiatrist no less) for overpowering to the plot to be realistic.

In the understanding that this is just fiction, the tale left me with two nagging questions.

Under what pretense would a psychiatrist want to be married to an “owned” woman?

In what reality would a clan-leader (as described) relinquish control over such a vital asset? All in the name of love & trust?

Thanks for a terrific read, looking forward to you next posting.

Story was good but end was anti climatic. He never holds her to the threats, keeps catching her in other little lies but tells she never cheated which is real hard to believe based on what keeps coming out and things he saw when out there. If she belonged to a top gang leader on young guy out there that knew that would be aggressive in a bar and verbally abuse her. Also her secret life with Apts , a marriage, a massive debt and more lies than you could mention. Also a secret job with lots of travel , I personally would not have last a month with her no natter what. The last time he gave her 3 months which she passed by many and he still caught her in lies . Why take her back she will just travel again and make up how she must again at somee Ed point . What do you do when theres kids down the road and she starts with how she must travel etc love will always be there but in this case I’d have cut my losses and moved on . She hiding way more than has come out and only releases when she has to satisfy him at each time . A part two would be nice to extend , gave more trouble a separate, much dispute and possible ultimatum/ reconciliation

Ang skates....and she is left not knowing he killed her father? Sunlight is the best disinfectant and the Author missed a fine opportunity to expose the truth. Poorly finished.

I know there wouldn’t have been much of a story left but he should have cut her loose the moment she started being secretive and especially when he found out she was married. Sorry, Sayonara, Mandy. Too much baggage that she wasn’t willing to get rid of for his love.

I very much enjoyed reading this. I saw the movie "White Dragon" too. Its alternate title was "Strangers", and your story reminded me of it. I think your story is better, frankly. Only you know if your story was inspired by the movie but if so you surpassed your muse. I generally balk at stories about the mystery woman/damsel in distress who lies to her lover because she can't trust that he will forgive her past. Your story is an exception. When we're lied to it seriously wounds our ability to forgive and learn to trust again. In that way "Venn Diagram" reminds me of the terrific story by angiquesophie, "Two's a Crowd".

I have a vague feeling that the ending here doesn't resolve the couple's issues with anything like finality. I don't intend that as a criticism- it's YOUR story and you clearly wrote what you intended to write. Some of Amanda's loose ends are trimmed up but she's still shackled to a Chinese gangster, isn't she? Given her skill at manipulating Alex for seven years- and successfully lying to him- we have to figure she isn't done yet. She left a lot of unanswered questions for Alex to brood about. And that leaves me feeling that the story didn't reach a satisfying conclusion. However I think this is a realistic portrayal of human behavior. People- all people, men and women, lie about sex. We may not be an honorable species but by God we're predictable.

Thanks for sharing this with us. It's a terrific tale and if I could vote you ten stars I would.

Like Pencarrow the first thing I thought about was the tv series. I did see it. She was married with a daughter in HK. She was murdered but I can't remember why exactly, money irregularities maybe but she had another flat there. Need to review it. This story for me was a bit long winded but at least the author warned us at the outset. Decisions is my header .... is over what I give it 3/4/5???

Happy ending seems bit forced and rushed at the end. But nice story. I wish u would write more often.

This girl was actually a very sympathetic character. Felt that the protagonist was sometimes too harsh on her. It is not too hard to see her coming out of those situations with losing her life.

And protagonist seems too much hoier than thou type. At least give him 1-2 bad attributes. Like chain smoking or something.

Ur ending in woodworker wife and accountant wife felt natural but ending in other stories seem rushed. Because of unresolved issues. But I think still it is very well done.

This story was nice. A breath of fresh air. Among so many chuck norris like husband btb stories.

Take care of urself man. This covid pandemic is simply fucking us over.

Commentors may whine about a story's lack of character dev., Not here.

Great style of conveying the story! Decent grammar.

Hero's logic seemed a bit weak, (granted, a person isn't logical to others). The hottest woman in all of southeast Asia is TOTALLY in monogamous committed love with him and they've been terrific for 6 years and he loses all patience. Hey! I'd hate the hiding and being lied to, but as he showed, it was all forgivable in the end.

We were forewarned, but it was a bit longish for what happened. Andy's storytelling was smooth enough to not make it painful, but sti!!,... Hey it's practically detailed enough with enough dialog to be a TV movie! It's practically a script as it is. (If that happens, I'd like 2% of the initial net and 1%of the residuals.)

Finally, it would've packed a much better punch with a little surprise here or there. From the start it was 'stay or go' and that was all there was right to the end with most scenes being predictable. (Yes, the club would present implied relationships, yes a guy would hit on her, yes Alan would be a problem, etc., etc.) What could've been a surprise,...?.. It's not my story, but,... Maybe Mandy turned out to be managing all of the Clan's "Escort" business, even filling in for the right clients, .... Maybe ... Well, SOME kind of unpredictable twist would have been nice.

4* for smooth style and consistency.... and a happy ending.

This was a good story that was perhaps a bit too long in parts, but had a great plot and was well-written.

It is unfortunate that it took Alex forever, almost to very end, to realize that he was his "own worst enemy." Alex dwelled on his view of her alleged betrayal, rather than seeing a woman who was doing what she could humanly do to keep the relationship going until her 15 years were up, without risking Alex' and her own life.

Even at the end, a loving husband would have let Mandy have her career with the bank and the clan, and enjoy the financial and other benefits of the relationship. But, Alex was still a little boy that had to have everything he wanted.

Overall it's an ambitious story with a strong start but it bogged down after Alex's visit to HK and the face-to-face with Ang Lee. I began to wonder how much abuse Alex would tolerate and if Mandy would ever be free of Ang Lee. I also wondered why Alex had invested so much time in Mandy. They professed their love but I saw little sign of it. Quibbles, I suppose. The thing amateur writers need most is good editing. The pros have it and pay for it. Amateurs don't. Still, grading on the curve, this story is easy five. It's impressive.

Somewhat of a spoiled protagonist who got boo-boo lipped when he didn’t get everything he wanted but good story. Thanks.

Good and not.

It was a brilliant idea for a plot.

I found it very interesting.

But as the story neared it's end,

I realised I'd lost interest

in the manipulating slave

and the indecisive shrink.

So no ratings from me.

We start with Alex being a puppet wondering what her secrets are, we end with Alex being a puppet knowing most but still not all her secrets.

I can't help but think that Mandy has been cheating all these years. No she hasn't been fucking anyone (maybe) but part of cheating is having a separate life or experience that your partner knows nothing about, so was one of the reasons she was so secretive the fact that she loved the wealth and power her life in Hong Kong gave her.

A great plot but too much filler.

some common memes around here - woman saved from fate... lies and their impacts on simple relationships... an over focus on what is purported to be really good sex...

But! with a sense of realistic appraisal of some of the consequences.

Kinda like marrying into the royal family - do you really want that target on your back?

Thanks for the story and evident work that went into it.

So... who is your avatar in this one?

Green-something

Great story with a rather abrupt ending. Too many rhings unresolved about Party Girl. And her future job.

One of the best stories I've read in LW genre. Thanks for the great writing and enjoyable ride. Now, can you please finish it? LOL

One of the best stories I’ve read on any story site. Very well crafted and compelling story line.

Superb! No question! I spent a lot of time in Hong Kong before the takeover. Guylo is “pale ghost” but masculin, guypo is the female.

It’s interesting, the peak cafe and the overlook is of the very modern city of Hong Kong. It is crowded with Chinese and foreign visitors. A short walk away is another overlook totally different. Tree covered hillside stretching undroken to the South China Sea, dotted with small tree covered islands. Not at much visited by the Chinese

A really interesting story but I don't think the resolution really accomplished anything and the ending seemed like a bit of a copout. She's still working for the bank and has to go to HK every two months, for however long that might be and Alex can't really take unannounced trips away in order to go with her. She's still working for Ang Lee Sung and although she say's she'll quit if she has to she says that mentoring her replacement will take at least a few months, and would that be in HK? And then there's the mistrust, the fact that she had an entire second life which she didn't share with her partner, friends he wasn't aware of, clothes and jewellery she actively hid from him and a social scene that was at best played down and at worst blatantly lied about. Months with only the bare modicum of contact would have eroded a lot of goodwill, at least to me, so the easy chat and acceptance of her 'unpacking' just seemed like a copout with so much unresolved. At least to my eyes.

....but your MC in both of your well written tales I've read, Venn and Alisha, were such petulant, whiney, impetuous, and stupid guys! And the one in this tale was a psychologist, for crap’s sake!

BTW —- you can’t get to the Peak Tram from the Kowloon side by taxi! Ya gotta take a boat like the Star Ferry over to HK island first 😎

What an amazing creative storey, I have been spellbound, loved it.

I agree with chilley willey

Bout time to do another tale of the Walker Colt?

Andyhm

I became engrossed with both your plot and your characters. Your creative writing skills are also excellent. However, the reason I gave the story a 4, rather than a 5 is your ending. You left a lot of unanswered questions. The most important being whether Mandy would ever be able to extract herself from the Sung cronies. It also leaves up in the air whether Alex can live with the prospect of future intrusion of Mandy's business connections into their relationship. I also thought that Mandy would have had the tattoo removed. The stupid attempt to augment it yet again seemed too contrived...what she has indicated is thet she has changed one master for another. Forgive me, but in terms of her "contractual obligations" to the Sung clan, the continued exiastence of the tat suggests to me that there are some pretty serious storms ahead for poor old Alex.

A truly intelligent story. I had no idea how this plot was going to end and kept me turning the pages. Great character development, suspense and surprises all the way and well written, but when the end came it was a little abrupt. But, it was still an easy 5 stars. Thank you for restoring my faith in the Loving Wives genre. Thank you so much for all the thought and skill that you've clearly put into this story - Appreciated.

I loved the story and all the complexities. At times I thought the good doctor was a little to inflexible but I do understand his viewpoint. Thank you for sharing your creative work

A very good story basically well written, I feel the last couple of pages could have been further developed. She (Maddy) was working as a high priced escort but you did not complete the development even though you left plenty of references to her being a party girl etc.

I look forward to any further BTB stories you write.

In fact, there is no ending - the reader is left hanging. Besides the never ending explanations and the many promises that were broken repeatedly - the ninny of a cuck kept hoping she was not lying to him. Talk about an extremely weak male character - this guy is spinless.

I really began to dislike the male character when they both flew to Honk Kong. From that point on, this story made no sense. There are just so many gaping holes in the narrative, it is totally unbelievable. Sorry but this story gets a one.