Life Decisions Christmas with Karen

"The food was nice mum, a lovely Christmas treat, thanks." Laura tilted her head back and forced a cone of her exhaled smoke pouring out of her mouth upwards.

"Yes, they do the roast potatoes far better than I could ever do!" Trisha smiled and then casually inhaled.

Laura nodded whilst hauling yet more smoke into lungs. "It is the fats they use, is it duck fat or something good like that?" She said with her exhale "Either way I enjoyed them! I'm stuffed and my lips are salivating again and the thought." a Laura said flicking the ash and licking her lips, and then almost hurriedly inhaled deeply on her cigarette.

Trisha smiled "You have always liked your food, and I can say probably a little more so recently?" She digged in a motherly fashion.

Laura rolled her eyes, "Mum!"

"Any way shall we have dessert, then maybe go for a walk, like we used to? Burn off some of those potatoes? It's not raining?"

"Erm, no more than usual mum, and well yeah, we can do." Laura replied, coughed, and quickly dragged again on her cigarette.

***

"It was lovely Christmas lunch mum, Thank you." Laura said giving Trisha a hug as they left the pub.

"Oh, thank you darling, it was nice to spend time together, and we don't have to do the dishes!"

Laura dug into her bag and got her pack and lighter out, "Shall we walk the short way home?" She asked as she lighted the cigarette balanced between her lips.

"Yes Law" Trisha shook her head "let's do that!" and they set off arm in arm and staggered in unison down the pavement with two clouds of smoke billowing above their heads in the dusky nights sky.

***

"Mum, you were meant to make me drink less." Laura slurred as she finished off her glass of port and leaned forward holding the coffee table for support took a last drag on the current cigarette, exhaled, and then forcefully stubbed it out on the ashtray on the table in front of her.

"Oh, goes on has anothesh drinks, it Christmas!" Grinned a drunk Trisha. "I'se going too!" she laughed at herself.

"Mum, I am never going to say no to you." Laura giggled as she unsteadily leaned forward and topped up both glasses emptying the last of the Christmas port.

"Ash longs ash it's onlys ones days a years, ish fine!" Trisha slurred and reached across and flicked her cigarette into nearly full large glass ashtray on the coffee table in front of her and picked up the port and took a good slug of it. "I has my gorgeoush daughter wis me for Christmash, what more can your mum ask for?" She stated before drawing again on the cigarette.

"You are fucking pissed mum; I am looking fucking awful at the moment!" Laura said before drinking her port.

"Wells, do somesing about it!" Trisha replied sternly and drunkly.

"What do you mean mum?" Laura asked leaning across to the coffee table to pick up a cigarette, lighting it with a double pump, whilst watching her mum try and explain.

She shrugged her shoulders and wobbled, "I don't knows, lose weights, finds a man, have loud sex, do something exciting!" Trisha replied and then drew on her cigarette.

"Sex? Mum" Laura asked with her exhale.

"You haven't had a man in your life for ages, you dilly-dallied with that girl Sharon?" Trisha asked before inhaling.

Laura tutted. "Mum it was Karen, and she was lovely to me and is a great work mate." Laura sighed as she flicked the ash from her cigarette roughly in the direction of the coffee table.

Trisha inhaled deeply on her cigarette "But she won't give me a grandchild!" She said with her exhale.

"Is that was it's all about mum?" Laura asked before taking a good gulp of the port.

"No, I am sorry, it's Christmas and the wine and port talking, and I will stop."

"Mum" Laura smiled at her mum, "I am an overweight, chainsmoking, drunk, piss artist women, men don't even look at me anymore!"

"You mean they don't swipe left or whatever it is?"

"Mum, I am not on those dating sites!"

"Sorry darling, I may be pissed" she giggled trying to lighten the mood "But you are my gorgeous daughter, whatever you say!" Trisha stated.

Laura smiled at her mum and leaned across and gave her a hug "Do you want another top up?" Laura asked shuffling to the end of the sofa.

The cigarette popped from Trisha's mouth as she finished inhaling "Oh go on, I think there is another bottle in the cupboard." She said with her exhale as the grey smoke clambered out of her mouth and up towards the ceiling.

Laura coughed and groaned picked a cigarette and lighter from the pack on the table, lit it, placed the lighter back on top of the pack and drew heavily on it, as she exhaled, she dangled the cigarette and levered herself off the sofa leaving the glasses on the table. Her jeans button was unpopped letting her large bulging stomach hang out.

"I will upstairs and go for a piss and get into something comfortable, these jeans are not agreeing to the number of potatoes earlier, I bring another bottle back with me!" Laura smiled and looked fondly at her drunk mother and then waddled off towards the stairs.

"I will go after you!" Trisha replied before drawing again deeply on her cigarette before gently coughing a couple of times once her daughter was out of the room.

***

Laura wearing the stretched, overly tight Denis the Menace nightie staggered into the living room dangling her cigarette, carrying the bottle of port; she bent over and topped up the two glasses, accidently bashed the bottle down, stood up straight inhaled deeply on the cigarette, exhaled, and flicked the ash in the ashtray and then flumped down on to the sofa tucking her knees under the hem of the nightie and inhaled deeply on her cigarette.

Trisha wobbled down the stairs in her matching green bra and knickers, "Sorry Law, think I'm going to have to go to bed, I think I have had a little too many to drink at lunchtime." she drunkenly grinned "Merry Christmas darling."

"Oh Mum, I have poured you another drink, come one, a night cap won't hurt, you won't want me to drink both." She smiled.

"Oh, I shouldn't but go on, Law, as its Christmas, you've twisted my arm." Trisha smiled back at her daughter and carefully walked over to the sofa as she sat down, she coughed, leaned across picked up a cigarette and stray lighter from the table and lit it with a deep inhale.

Laura looked across as her mum sat down "Mum, their nice pants, who are they for?" she asked before taking a sip of her Port.

"Er, me?" Trisha replied, "your mum is allowed nice clothes; I'm not like you, going walking around most of the time in large grey baggy clothes!"

"That's not fair, this is comfortable for bed mum!"

"Ummm, if you say so!" Trisha smirked taking in the tightness of it on her body, and then inhaled on her cigarette, "I just forgot to bother to pick up my dressing gown." Trisha drunkenly giggled.

"So, you are they for?" Laura asked before exhaling her cloud of smoke.

"Law, no one other than me! Honest."

"Mum, you are allowed to find company, just gossiping and want to know who!"

"Darling, I was planning on going to bed, not have the Spanish enq... thingy" Trisha replied trying not to trip up over her words.

"Sorry mum, the pants are nice." She stated, inhaled on her cigarette, "and you are looking good for your age mum!"

"Age?" Trisha smiled and then inhaled on her cigarette too "Anyway shall we turn the TV up?" She asked before releasing her exhale "Its Michael Macintyre, he is funny!"

Laura said as she flicked the ash from her cigarette, picked up the remote and turned the TV up and inhaled again deeply on her cigarette and relaxed her shoulders in the process.

"He certainly is, but he makes my lungs hurt laughing!" Grinned Laura then proceeded with her to take a hit on her cigarette.

Wednesday- Boxing Day

"Morning mum" Laura said sitting on the kitchen table with her coffee and a morning cigarette.

"Ugh" Trisha replied as she wiped the sleep from her eyes and then tugged on her dressing gown to tighten it against her body as she came from the darkness of the hallway into the bright kitchen.

"It was a great Christmas day, thank you mum."

"Ugh." Trisha groaned again.

Laura smiled, then leaned across and opened the draw next to the sink and rummaged around and pulled out her mum's paracetamol pack and placed the pack on top of the cigarette pack and pushed them and the lighter across the table.

"How can you smoke after last night?" Trisha grumped, "we must have demolished a pack or two before bed, my throat feels awful."

"Mum it aint the cigarettes' fault, it's probably the bottle of port we had between us!" Laura smiled.

Trisha grimaced at the thought of the port.

"Here, have one!" Laura looked on intently as she pulled a cigarette pack back towards her and pulled a cigarette out of the packet and lit it using her current cigarette using a couple of deep drags before passing it to her mum.

"Ugh, how are you so spritely?" Trisha asked before taking the cigarette from her daughter's fingers and inhaling on it.

"You know mum, I, um, may have a bit of practice and also always need two or three ciggies before I feel human in the mornings" Laura said before dragging on her fourth cigarette of the morning.

"I need coffee." Trisha croaked and then sat down on the kitchen chair and quietly inhaled her cigarette. "I don't think I have been this hungover in years!" Trisha stated after the exhale.

"Let's get a coffee inside you, and you will soon feel better Mum, I am sure, do you fancy any toast? I assume we have some bread somewhere?"

Trisha coughed, then wiped her nose with her hand, "No, I can't face food this morning"" she held her stomach and inhaled on her cigarette, "But coffee would be good." She said before exhaling the smoke.

"You can always head back to bed, I often do!" Laura smiled and then inhaled on her cigarette.

Trisha nodded, exhaled, and said "I think I will probably do just that, my head is throbbing."

"That's fine mum, after this coffee, I am going to head home and let you rest."

***

Laura kicked off her shoes and watched one of the black flat shoes bounce on the bottom step of the stairs and smiled to herself as fell back on the floor the right way up, she turned to close the front door. Laura dug into handbag and then headed to the kitchen.

She placed her new three packs of reds on the table and popped on the kettle, opened the fridge and sniffed the milk and smiled at it being ok, then got a mug out of the cupboard and dug some instant coffee out of the coffee pot on the counter, and as the kettle bubbled away she turned and got a cigarette out of the open pack on the table and after a gentle cough lit it with a double pump inhale.

Laura made the coffee and opened the drawer and took out her paracetamol, popped a couple of pills into her hand, swallowed them with a squig of the coffee proceeded to the living room where she pushed the coffee mug on to the table and slumped down on the sofa an inhaled again on her cigarette and relaxed.

She texted her mum to check she was ok, and so far, there had been no response; she assumed she was fast asleep with her hangover. She smiled to herself as she exhaled and contemplated having just a small Boxing Day brunch drink.

Saturday

Laura sighed, coughed, and inhaled deeply on her cigarette and then flicked her ash in the direction of the ashtray as she exhaled. She rested her head on her hand and placed her elbow on the table for support and picked up her phone and typed.

'Hey Kaz, fancy you shipping and munch? Plan for NYE? Xxx'

'Hun are you still drunk from last night? Kx'

'Probably!? Xxx' Laura replied and then sipped her drink.

'Fair enough, what time? Kx'

'12? Xxx'

'Yeah, why not, see you outside Primark! Kx'

Laura looked at the time on her phone, smiled as it was only half past ten, she had woken up far earlier than she had wanted to. She had plenty of time, she again leisurely dragged deeply on the cigarette, exhaled her cone to the ceiling. She then ashed her cigarette, drained the dregs of her second breakfast vodka and orange, stuck her cigarette in the corner of her mouth and slowly with a couple of gentle coughs got up off the kitchen chair and naked body wobbled as she moved along the hallway to the stairs and slowly negotiated the carpeted steps to go and have a shower.

***

With her fresh cigarette dangled in the corner of her mouth, Laura had the plasters box from the bathroom cabinet balanced by the sink, she was trying to keep the plastic backing off to try and cover her cuts in her legs from trying to shave them this morning.

As soon as she had the plastic off and she just about managed to keep her balance with the foot on the edge of the bath. She had fallen against the wall twice trying to stick the plaster above her ankle.

She plodded into the bedroom and sat on the bed and dried herself down between deep inhales on her post shower cigarette as she contemplated getting dressed. She looked at her drawers with the combination of clean and dirty clothes strewn on top of them. Standing there looking on, there was no enthusiasm. She could not face the effort. She picked up a hoody off the floor and pulled it over her naked chest and as she couldn't be bothered, she grimaced at the uncomfortableness as she pulled up her wet leggings from last night. Leaving her wet knickers on the floor. She leaned across and stubbed the cigarette out and grabbed another from the pack on the bedside table and lit it and with a groan and cough got up of the bed and headed back downstairs.

At the kitchen table Laura topped up her glass with vodka and splashed some orange juice in the top of the glass and over the table and took a gulp and topped up the vodka, then looking at her cigarette in her other hand smiled and inhaled on it. She flicked the ash in the direction of the ashtray on the kitchen table and took another gulp of her drink.

***

Laura giggled in the changing room as leaned against the changing room wall for support.

"Are you ok in there?" Karen asked through the thin partition.

"Very!" Laura giggled again as she was about to pull back the grey curtain to reveal to Karen the skirt, she was planning on wearing out for New Year's Eve. "It's veries sparkly and pretty!" she giggled again from behind the curtain. "Tadaaa" she said as she tugged back the curtain, and she wobbled out into the corridor correcting her trajectory a little with a shuffle.

"It is! It's, err, lovely hun, it's certainly noticeable, a great statement piece, you look great in it." Karen said as her eyes screamed no.

"It shows off me off a little!" Laura said as pivoted and twisted her hips and then stumbled a little bit.

"Yes, it does, it may show off a little more..." Karen grinned as Laura tugged the front of the skirt down to cover up her revealed high up her mottled inner thigh, the skirt lifted again as soon as she stood vaguely upright.

"It's a twenty, I didn't realise I've put so much weight on over Christmas." Laura grumped as she twisted her waist in front of the mirror looking at herself.

Karen ignored that statement. "It might be a little cold at this time of year?"

"Erm, yeah, I guess I can wear my leggings with it when I go out?" She paused and whilst still looking at herself in mirror she tugged the skirt down again, "I do like the sparkles."

"You are looking good though, you will burn off Christmas once we are back at work."

Laura smiled wryly, "I'm not looking forward to the long walks for the ciggy breaks, I've got used to just sitting there drunk on the sofa just about in just my knickers, chainsmoking." She grinned.

"As its Christmas, there is nothing wrong with that!"

Karen laughed, "Talking of ciggies, shall we join the queue to get these and have some lunch?"

"Absolutely, gagging, let me get out of this, and I will be right there."

Karen smiled and laughed, "You are mostly out of it already!" Then coughed.

"I might need your help putting on my leggings back on!" Laura giggled as she held on to the wall for support.

***

Both of them paused as they exited the store and fired up their cigarettes with deep inhales, and then walked across the piazza to Spoons for a liquid lunch as the clouds of their exhales drifted off in the wind.

"Law, how much did you drink this morning?" Karen asked before drawing deeply on her cigarette once seated with a fresh bottle of wine.

"Not too much, just a vodka and orange for breakfast before my shower." Laura replied semi truthfully.

"Just you seem a little drunk hon that is all." Karen asked as she sipped her white wine.

"It will have been the wine last night, I am fine, honestly Hon." Laura replied with her exhale and picked up the wine bottle and unsteadily topped up both glasses. "So, NYE" she said spelling it out "What's occurring?" she said in a drunken fake Welsh accent.

"I am going over to my mother's tomorrow morning for the night, as my brother is back, but I will be free once I have seen her."

"Cool, I will be seeing my mum for lunch tomorrow too; I will have to remember to message you on Monday." Laura grinned and stubbed her cigarette out, and picked up her pack and wiggled another cigarette out and lit it.

"How is your mum?" Karen asked before drawing on her cigarette.

"She is fine, I got her rather drunk on Christmas day that was fun!" Laura giggled and then gently coughed before she inhaled on her cigarette. "Think she is seeing someone from her parish council meetings though" Laura said slightly dejectedly.

"Oh, how come you think that?" Karen asked.

"She had brand new sexy lace underwear on!" Laura grinned. "But she won't tell me if she is or not."

"Is that all? She is allowed to have nice Christmas underwear?" Karen asked and then drew on her cigarette.

"True, but she is a prude normally Kaz, it was a little shocking. I am guessing someone bought it for Christmas for her?"

"That is allowed Law?"

"Oh?" Laura asked inquisitively.

"Your mum is allowed nice underwear, as are you!"

Laura laughed and snorted and then coughed. "I keep buying them in cheap in Primark; I just wish I could be bothered to put them on, they just end up wet..." she mused.

"Did you buy some for Monday night?"

"Yup, some nice satin green ones, they are sexy as if I find myself undressed in front of you..." she winked, "...I will look good!" she smiled and had a cheek caving inhale on her cigarette.

Monday

Laura sat mostly in her nighty on the sofa, as the hem of the nighty was scrunched up on her large waist, she had left the pub with her mum late and had got pizza for tea. As she bit into her cold pizza left over from last night and in between chews she sipped her white wine.

As she chewed, she typed 'How about spoons at 8?' in to the Whatsapp group.

'Sounds good, but will let you know, with the family at the moment xxx' Karen replied.

'With Sean, so not out tonite xxx' replied Zoe.

'Be good! ;) xxx' replied Karen.

Laura sighed loudly and took a gulp of her wine and reached across and picked up a fresh cigarette from the pack next to the ashtray and lit it with a double pump.

"Cool, I will be in spoons for 8! Looking forward to spending New Year with you Kaz xxx"

"OK, will see when I can get there  xxx"

Laura drew heavily on her cigarette, exhaled the large cone into the room and then focused on her phone app and booked a taxi for 730, to get her in to town for 8. She then gulped down the rest of her wine.

***

Laura leaned closer to the mirror in an attempt to focus on her face, the small pink bow on the top of her green statin knickers poking out above her unevenly pulled up leggings, her large overhanging belly lounging on top of the sink. Her cigarette was dangled in the corner of her mouth, as she was trying to focus on her face in the mirror in an attempt to do her makeup for the evening. The wine from the bottle for breakfast and lunch with most of the second drunk this afternoon was not helping her focus or her coordination. She smiled as she eventually got the mascara on annoyed that it smudged in the corner, and then she needed to do her lips twice. She took a deep drag on the cigarette as she rummaged in her make up bag, her cigarette bouncing between her lips scattering the ash as she inhaled. As she struggled to find what she was looking for, in frustration she sighed, coughed and then tipped the contents in to the sink, flicked her ash into the toilet bowl beside her, inhaled and as she exhaled out of the corner of her mouth, she picked out her lipstick.