Life Less Lived Ch. 08

The tube train pulled into their station, the door behind them opened up and they were able to get out and onto the platform with their parcels intact.

"Would your sister shout and scream as much if I was there in the same room with you?" He asked as the escalator carried them up out of the hot tunnels towards the cold, open air. He stood behind her, just a step below, so his lips were better aligned to her ear.

She turned slightly, to look in his eyes, "Thank you, but that really won't be necessary. She'll be fine and besides a good cry will help get all the frustration she'll be feeling out of her system."

He nodded his understanding, his face blank.

When they emerged from the station, she turned right and stepped out of the flow of people, close to the wall, where she could relieve him of her bags, but Daniel immediately steered Marina to a rather dingy-looking café next door to the station. It was still open but almost empty this close to the evening meal at this frenetic time of year.

"All that jostling," he explained, "it was so stifling hot in those crowded stations and train, I am dying for a cup of tea and I do hate drinking tea on my own."

"My sister's house is just a ten-minute walk away. I suppose, if you are desperate for a drink, we could always have a cup of tea there," suggested Marina, mystified why he wanted to stop now, "you could still get away before I even bring up the subject of Tracey's -"

"I know I could," replied Daniel, "But ... Marina, I have been wanting to have a quiet word with you alone for a couple of days now, but we have never had the time alone or an opportunity until now. So would it be all right if we stopped here just for a few minutes, while I get something off my chest?"

"All right, yes of course we can," smiled Marina, calm on the exterior, although she felt in turmoil inside, worried about what Daniel wanted to say to her. Despite what he had readily agreed to in front of his daughter, did he actually resent her presence in his house and wanted to see the back of her as soon as possible? Was this an opportunity to inform here that her presence was unwanted, without upsetting Sophie, knowing how well they seemed to be getting on? Perhaps he wanted her to be the one to volunteer leaving with immediate effect, so that Sophie wouldn't blame her father for this sudden end to the friendliness that had developed between the two women.

She tried to calm down. There was no use in her worrying about what he would say, she said to herself, as she would know exactly what he wanted to tell her in just a few minutes. If it was really bad news and that he did indeed want her out of his life immediately, as was more than likely, then at least she would be back within the welcome bosom of her own family in a matter of minutes. That, she comforted herself, would lessen the blow but she knew that she would miss Sophie and would have liked to have got to know Ginny better. And, she had to admit, even her short time spent with Daniel had been enjoyable, he had been so gentlemanly in the circumstances, at least until now and she would miss him, miss him terribly.

They sat in the window of the café, sitting opposite each other at a tiny square table, its ancient Formica top cracked and stained. They were the only customers in the café. In any other circumstance, Marina thought, this would be considered an intimate situation. But that would be at another time and place, involving any other man and woman in a relationship, not them. Intimate places for couples to meet and talk over something that had been on a man's mind 'for some days now', she remembered he had said, was something Marina had never experienced before. That sort of thing only happened to other people.

Before Daniel could began to say what he wanted to say though, a short fat woman in a grubby apron came over from behind her counter.

"Yer need ta order yer stuff from the coun'er, love," she addressed Daniel with a smile, "we don't do no wai'ress service 'ere, swee'art"

Daniel smiled his most disarming smile at the woman as he rose from his seat.

"I'll have two teas then, please, and I'll, er, come up to the counter and collect them."

He smiled at Marina, lifting and lowering his eyebrows a couple of times, before following the rather broad woman to her counter at the back of the café.

Marina watched him go with an amused smile, and continued watching while he charmed the woman behind the counter with a conversation that she was a little too far away to hear clearly what was being said. The woman laughed at whatever his comments were and chattered back at Daniel, with fluttering eyelashes, flashing eyes, whooping laughs and toothy smiles on her plain reddened face. She appeared enraptured, both when he spoke to her and when she replied.

Marina shook her head, laughing to herself. Of course Daniel was a charming man. Indeed, hadn't he charmed her, too? Not just this last week, although the period of time spent with the Medcalfs seemed longer than just a matter of a few days. No, he had originally captivated her within a handful of weeks all those years ago, in the time before going far too far, taking advantage of her virgin innocence at the very moment of their parting company.

Whatever he did, either since, now or in the future, she could never completely forget or forgive that trespass against her innocent body. What he had done to her was totally unforgivable. She was past revenge, though, any thought she had once entertained of achieving retribution was a fleeting moment of madness now long passed, never to be countenanced again.

All she wanted in her life now was peace and she felt certain that she would now have it, after almost half a lifetime. She liked Sophie, she liked her a lot, and would miss her, worry about her. There was a young woman with so much courage, but who still needed the support of those who loved her. Perhaps, if Daniel was as kind and loving as he appeared to be, she could still be permitted to speak to Sophie from time to time and give help and a comforting shoulder whenever she needed it, even if it could only be from a distance. Her mouth felt dry in anticipation of what Daniel had to say. Perhaps, being the politician he was, he would let her go gently, without causing a scene, certain in the knowledge that she would never betray his callous treatment of one so young after all these years.

He soon returned to the tiny table in the window with a couple of huge steaming mugs of tea.

"One sugar, wasn't it?" he asked.

"Yes, that's right. Thanks Daniel. Actually, you were right to stop here. I find my mouth has dried up after that tube ride and I really could do with this hot drink right now."

He smiled at her response as he lowered and folded his tall frame into the squeaky chair opposite her.

She sipped the tea, it was hot and fresh, and there certainly was plenty of it. She guessed it was in a pint mug. She had assumed that the tea would have been poured from an urn of rather stewed tea, as this place looked so much like the transport cafés of old that she remembered her father preferred. But no, this had been freshly brewed in the mug, probably with two teabags, strong but tangy and refreshing. It was slightly less sweet than she was used to, because of the size of the mug, and she was once more reminded that she really ought to try taking her tea without sugar, like Tracey had often urged her to do ever since she moved in. The prospect of Tracey moving out and living with her mother would mean she would be completely alone in the flat. For the first time in her life, she realised, she would be without any family within walking distance. Being alone didn't terrify her, but knew it would take some getting used, especially as she had no job to return to.

She looked up from her mug at Daniel, who was staring at her with an intensity that concerned her, until their eyes met and his face softened into a smile.

"That's refreshing, Daniel, thank you, I did need this. It was so stuffy in that train, at one time I thought I might pass out. It, it also gives me a chance to think before we get all the warm welcomes out of the way and then ... I have to speak to Alex about Tracey."

"What does Tracey want to do with her life, when she has a baby in tow?"

"She wants to continue studying at Portsmouth, which means continuing to live with me, but I cannot stay at home looking after the baby, I need to get a new job as soon as possible after the new year."

"New job? You know, I never even asked you what it was you did for a living."

"Shop work. Just shop work. I'd worked at the same small convenience store with a Post Office for many years. The old owner is retiring, selling up and has laid all the staff off. That happened the day before I came to your meeting in the village."

"Oh dear, sacked at Christmas, that seems a poor choice of timing on your boss's side. He sounds like an Ebenezer Scrooge."

"His hands were tied, to be honest, the purchasers wanted to keep the transfer of ownership under wraps until they had everything arranged. They didn't want any long unsettling period with unhappy staff, where they risked losing customers. We have a lot of competition from other grocery stores nearby, including national chains."

"Well, that explains why you weren't agitating to leave us for your work. You know, we are in the same boat, because I need to get a job, too."

"What about the county council, and the farm?"

"I don't get paid to serve on the council, only expenses, we don't do it for the money. It is only part-time work anyway. The house is still nominally owned by Penny's father, who lives in Spain and is pretty infirm. He came over for the funeral but told me then that it would be his last trip home. In fact the farm land is held in a family trust, to protect it. The farm business is a separate business, of which I am a director, so I get a set monthly fee to attend monthly meetings and maintain an overview of the business performance, which doesn't pay much. We are ready to expand, to add more tunnels, employ more staff, so, if you need a job and have green fingers..."

"I've only grown a few herbs on the window sill and tomatoes in a pot on the back balcony last summer," she laughed, in spite of the tension she felt inside, "but it doesn't get enough sun to get good results."

"We get plenty of sun at Underhill, you could even have a little allotment if you wanted. Anyway, the shares in the business I hold were Penny's and, eventually, they will be passed onto Ginny and Sophie for their children. It's a private limited company so the shares cannot be sold outside the family. The dividend income is used to upkeep the house, which as you can see, needs a lot of money to finish the refurbishment and, under the terms of the trust, I am not allowed to raise funds by mortgaging it. So, I need a job for me too. Maybe we should look on-line together through the situations vacant."

"What about politics? Don't you want to do that and enter Parliament? It was once your ambition when we spoke about our aims all those years ago."

"It was rather an obsession once, I even stood four times, without success, but I think I am tired of political life now. Anyway, what good is an out of work politician?"

"Public Relations would be perfect for you. You came over brilliantly on the telly over that motorway business."

"Maybe, I'll have to look into it. It would have to be something I really believed in, though. I can't get passionate about selling white goods or putting a spin on an ugly warehouse employing housewives on minimum wages. Anyway, if I can't tempt you to pick fruit and veggies in my poly tunnels, are you going to be looking at shop work again?"

"I'm not sure, I feel I could offer a lot more, but not sure what."

"Personnel, you're a people person, caring, empathetic, you would even make a great county councillor."

"Me?! No, I'm not bright enough for that, and no qualifications, at all. I pretty much left school at 12."

"Don't sell yourself short, you are more than capable, Marina. While you've stayed with us..."

'This is it,' thought Marina, 'the crunch, thrown out on my ear.'

"... you have made such a positive impact on us, Marina, that I have been forced to reappraise my commitments."

"We all have commitments, however insignificant they may appear."

"What commitments do you have, Marina?"

"I suppose I am relatively clear of any at the moment."

"Well, I am free of commitments too and seeing you again, well, you've brought back so many happy memories."

'Memories,' thought Marina, 'what memories! Both good ones and bad.'

He reached out with his right hand and patted the back of her hand resting on the table. She hadn't expected the gesture but did not react by flinching at his touch, which surprised her, bearing in mind what was coming.

"But all good things must come to an end," she said.

She had such a mixture of conflicting feelings about Daniel. She wanted to be touched by him but all the time, at the back of her head, there was that feeling of not knowing what exactly had been going through his mind when he did ... when he did the unthinkable ... to her. Back then when he raped her, left her to carry and cope alone with the seed of his child, what was he thinking? All those years ago, back to a time where he had his memories of what happened to her that last night together in the hotel, while she had absolutely no memories of it at all.

"Those memories we share don't have to come to an end, you know, Marina, my dear Marina."

He released his hand that had been covering hers and reached into a pocket, pulling out a small blue velvet box. Before she could realise what was happening, he was kneeling on the floor beside her chair, his left hand holding hers, while in his right the opened box displayed a magnificent ring with a large blue sapphire, ringed with tiny diamonds, each flashing reflections from the lights outside the dingy café.

"Marina, I lost you once, when I should have known that I loved you, and then I couldn't find you. I don't want to lose you ever again. I love you Marina, and I believe that I have always loved you. Over these last few days I have come to realise that I will love you until the end of time. So, dear Marina Shaw, will you please agree to marry me? Will you complete my happiness by consenting to become my wife?"

To be continued.