All Comments on 'Life of Mick Ch. 11'

Honestly? This is starting to drag. I just can't sympathise with a character that doesn't really do anything. He's robotic about his first wife and ex, and pretty nonchalant about Sam saying she was only in it for the sex (which you conveyed horribly, btw).

what a shit end

I wasn't sure how I felt about the first ex coming back in general and didn't like how it jumped to sex with zero real talk about how she left. I do like actual story and it felt like you were skipping story just to have sex with more women although I did like the twist about the new girl being his daughter.

I really liked Sam and it seemed like she actually cared for him. For her to have moved in and everything else they did together and she just up and says I had fun but really just liked your dick, I am leaving, felt like a complete disconnect and disrespect especially after the thing with his sons and dead ex. After, I was expecting something like she can't do that due to some trama, unknown back story, some closure.

But the chapter ends with time passing and she is just gone and him hoping to hook up with her later which felt a bit pathetic for someone he was wanting to marry. Just overall the end of the last chapter and this chapter felt lost and I hope you can pull it together. He even said it in the story that it was getting out of hand and it feels like you are going for the constant sex and no one ever says no over interesting /compelling story.

Focus on putting out a good story and don't feel like you need pornographic sex all of the time. This story went somewhat off the rails and hope you can get it back onto the rails.

Here are the things you need to address in your story...

1. What the hell was going on with Sam? Her abruptly leaving Mick and leaving his company without much of an explanation needs to be addressed.

2. Misty and Monique need to meet Mariah as their step-sister.

3. Mick's relationships with his two sons and daughters-in-law need to be resolved.

4. Rita's relationship with Mick and her current husband Stephen needs to be flushed out fully.

5. Kay needs to find out about Mariah being Mick's biological daughter needs to happen and be resolved.

There are probably more open threads that need to be resolved that I have not mentioned above. However, should you figure out how you want to resolve these 5 open threads I think you will be able to get this story back to where you need to have it.

Hmmm.....I personally liked the "Sam leaving" twist, and I doubt that it will be the last time we see Sam. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if, by the end of this story, Mick and Sam actually end up getting married.

Hello, I read the first chapter, thought it was ok. Then I found out you had continued when I fpund chapter 11. Then I had to go back and read them all. Some comments, in ch 2 you have Sam adjusting her holster, then never mention it again, strange for a top tier "operator" and a body guard. You also never mention holsters or guns on the other "Security Guards". I hope Sam comes back in future chapters.

Kevin