Like I Believe That

"Whitney, I'm sorry you have such a low opinion of your husband. I don't share that opinion, and, in my estimation, he makes love very proficiently. If he and I do get married after the divorce, which is my hope, I will try not to make the same mistakes you evidently did. Once I have him, I will treasure what I have. Whitney, this was mostly just a courtesy call. I wanted to warn you that you will be served the divorce papers at your work tomorrow. I wanted you to be mentally prepared, so it won't surprise or embarrass you so much. Please consider his offer."

*****

WHITNEY

Damn, Edward has pulled out all stops to try and prank me. I bet he has paid some random man to pretend to 'serve' me tomorrow. Maybe I can arrange a surprise of my own.

At ten o'clock, Whitney was told that she had a visitor. She figured it was the fake 'server' and told her secretary to send the person in. Whitney got up and got in position.

A nicely dressed young woman entered and asked, "Whitney Stokes?"

"Yes."

"May I see some identification to make sure I have the right person?"

"Sure, no problem." She produced her driver's license.

"That's good. Ms. Stokes, you've been served." She handed her a packet.

Whitney replied, "And you have been served too." With that pronouncement, she hit the young woman in the face with a lemon meringue pie. Whitney started laughing.

She woman brushed off most of the pie. "I will be pressing charges for assault, bitch. No wonder your husband is divorcing you." Then she stormed out. Whitney continued her laughter.

Her secretary asked, "What just happened Ms. Stokes?"

"My husband is playing a sick prank on me. He's pretending he's divorcing me and has some unbelievably hot woman to marry him. I decided to prank him back beginning with the fake server. I do wonder what's in the envelope though." She tore it open at the top. The papers looked very legitimate, but she had never seen a divorce petition before. She threw it in the trash and started cleaning up the mess she had made 'serving' the server.

Whitney decided to see how far her husband would go with this farce. She checked their bank accounts and credit cards. Half the money was gone from the joint account, and the credit cards had been paid off and closed. Totally predictable. No big deal. She had a new card shipped to her the next day. Whitney moved the leftover joint account funds into an account of her own and got her own ATM card.

Whitney wasn't too surprised that Edward didn't come home that night. He was probably pissed that she was not falling for his joke. "Tough shit. He won't last long. He knows what a good thing he has going with me. Maybe I can give him an incentive. Maybe I can tell him that I'm ready to have kids after all. He really wants kids.

*****

A MONTH LATER

Four weeks passed with no changes. Whitney was now getting worried. She had heard nothing from Edward. She did check and found out he was going to work each day. Then she received a notice that the mortgage payment was late since the account the automatic payment had been coming from had been closed. Now, she had to talk to Edward. Obviously, he had not remembered to take care of the automatic payments.

She called him at work and was a little surprised that he took her call. "Edward, your little game has caused us to be late with the house payment. We both are in danger of getting bad credit ratings. What are you going to do about it?"

"I assumed we would get all that settled at the hearing next week."

"What hearing?"

"The one my lawyer set up. You never have sent us the name of your lawyer. We had a certified letter sent to you. You signed for it."

"I thought that was part of your joke."

"You need to wake up to the fact that this is not a joke. You are about to be divorced without having any input into the settlement. Get your head out of your ass and get a lawyer. All future contact needs to go through our lawyers." He hung up.

She realized for the first time that it probably wasn't a joke. She was close to being divorced. Whitney panicked and took off from work and got busy. She contacted a family law attorney and told him the details. He almost didn't accept the job because she had not responded to the petition or letters. It was almost too late. He told her to be at the hearing, dressed nicely and have an idea of the settlement she wanted.

The day came. Whitney was with her lawyer and Edward, Stephanie the man-stealing-bitch, and his lawyer were already seated. The hearing began with Whitney's lawyer demanding counseling first. Edward's lawyer that Edward's wife had been thwarting the process from the beginning and that counseling was just another delay tactic. Whitney testified that she thought Edward was joking about the divorce and that she did not want a divorce. She won the first round. Twelve weeks of counseling were ordered. Edward and Whitney re-established a joint account where bills would be paid from. Edward was willing to pay 60% of the bills from his paycheck.

*****

COUNSELING

"Whitney, what do you hope to get out of these sessions?"

"I hope to stop the divorce and return to where we were before he started cheating on me."

"Edward, what about you?"

"Do what I have to in order to get divorced."

"Well, it looks like we have quite a gap to bridge. Edward, from what I understand, you were the one who got things started by having an affair. Please give us your story."

"Actually, she was the one who got things started long before Stephanie came into my life. I loved Whitney for many years. For the most part, she has been a satisfactory wife. She probably would have been a wonderful mother if she had ever agreed it was time to have a child. There was always an excuse with her to postpone motherhood. I admit that wasn't so unhappy that I was looking for an affair, but it happened. I was eating lunch one day when our old high school friend Stephanie Cox appeared. She was famous in our school for being a popular model for all the teen magazines. The dining tables were full, and she asked if she could join me. I was extremely flattered that she even remembered me from school. I was certainly not in the 'in' group she usually hung with.

"We ate and talked well past lunch time. She said she enjoyed talking to me and asked if we could meet again. I proposed a time and place to have dinner and she agreed. I was euphoric. I had a 'date' set up with one of the most beautiful women in the world. I didn't say anything to Whitney because I secretly wanted something sexual to happen between Stephanie and me although my brain was saying 'no way.' Anyway, we met again for dinner, this time, at her apartment. I was totally infatuated with her. On my way out, she leaned in to kiss me good night. It started with just the lips but soon passion led us to progress to open mouth. I thought I had hit the jackpot, but that actually was to follow. In a few minutes I was back inside the apartment and clothes were being taken off. I kept expecting her to tell me that she was just playing a joke on me, but it never happened. Sex happened. The best sex of my life. Sorry, Whitney, but that's the truth.

"I felt happy and guilty at the same time. I went home and told Whitney what I had done. She didn't believe me. According to her, there was no way a loser like me could get a date with a woman like Stephanie much less get her to have sex with me. That pissed me off. When Stephanie said she wanted to see me again, I said, 'What the hell. I'll just show Whitney." As my affair with Stephanie blossomed, Whitney became more derisive of my alleging that I had been with Stephanie. She thought I was pretending or delusional. There was no possible way that Stephanie Cox would want me. I admit that Whitney improved in the bedroom, and we have had the best sex of our marriage the last few months.

"One day, Stephanie said she wanted me all the time. We decided we wanted to be together as man and wife even though that meant I had to get a divorce. I was trying to tell Whitney as gently as possible but when I told her, she laughed in my face. She thought I was either crazy or had totally misconstrued Stephanie's feelings when she was just probably tolerating me. When I had Whitney served, she attacked the server and threw away the papers. It wasn't until she called me about the late mortgage payment that she figured out there really was a divorce going on.

"The bottom line is that despite Whitney not doing anything horribly wrong before Stephanie and I got together, she has disrespected and ridiculed me to the point I would consider leaving her even if it was not to be able to marry Stephanie. My love for Stephanie has just given me something to look for after the divorce. That's it."

"That's enough for tonight. Next week, we'll let Whitney give her version of the story."

Whitney interjected, "Can't I say anything tonight?"

"If you can keep it brief."

"Edward, I am so sorry I didn't believe you. You would be a great catch for any woman. I love you and want to stay being your wife. Please forgive me and give me another chance. I'll be willing to have your child as soon as possible. I want children as much as you do."

Edward didn't speak as he left. He was obviously rattled.

*****

Whitney told her side of the story admitting her disbelief and then disrespect for her husband. She was afraid that Stephanie was too big a prize for Edward to pass up. Her big plea once again was to promise to treat him better and get pregnant as soon as possible so Edward could have children.

Edward just said, "Too little, too late."

Whitney replied, "No it's not, if you just give me another chance."

There was a final divorce hearing in front of a judge. Whitney looked considerably older. Her dress was rumpled, and she had not makeup on except lipstick. She looked depressed, very depressed. The judge spoke. "I understand that the twelve weeks of counseling did not produce a reconciliation. I further understand that the wife still wants to stay married. Mr. Stokes, this is your last chance to change your mind. Do you want to divorce, or stay married to your wife?"

"Whitney is an attractive woman with many good traits. She will make another man a terrific wife and mother. At one time, I wanted to be that man. I no longer want to be that man. Your honor, I want the divorce."

"Okay. I declare the marriage over under the settlement terms presented to me. Mr. and Mrs. Stokes, you are now divorced."

As everyone got up, Whitney stayed seated crying. Edward stood up and offered, "Whitney don't give up on yourself. You can have a bright future with someone else. I do wish you the best."

Whitney was crying and surprised everyone by pulling out gun from her purse. "There is no reason we can't be happy again once I get rid of her." She pointed the gun at Stephanie.

Stephanie stood up and patted her stomach, "If you shoot me, it's not just me you'd kill." The stomach that she was patting was just beginning to show a bulge.

Whitney dropped the gun and broke down completely before she was disarmed and taken away.

Once Whitney was taken out of the room, Edward asked, "Stephanie, you're pregnant?"

"No, I only have a little muffin top. Sex may be great exercise, but it burns a lot less calories than my exercise routine when I prepare for swimsuit shoots. I knew Whitney well enough that she would never kill an unborn child."

"You took a big risk, honey. So, you're not pregnant. You know, I'm kind of disappointed you're not."

"Just because I'm not pregnant YET, doesn't mean I can't be. We can get started on that as soon as we get home."

"Sounds good to me."

Stephanie snuggled up to Edward on the couch in the apartment she now officially shared with him. "Edward, I've been thinking of names for a baby. If we have a girl, what do you I think of the name Whitney?" She was grinning.

"Yeah, like I believe you would do that."