Like the Devil With a Deal

WARNING: unlike my usual absurdities, this story is DARK. A reader once described my writing as "twisted, but with a warm side." This one is straight up twisted. There are no heroes here. It also involves cheating as well as a bunch of other stuff that tends to trigger people. So be warned in advance.

I wanted to try something a little different and well... This is definitely different. If it isn't your thing, no hard feelings.

This is Part One of a three-part story. Everyone depicted here is over 18.

I knew I was in trouble as soon as my wife came home.

Kate had been out with her younger sister for their bi-weekly brunch date. Every other Saturday, the siblings met for a few hours to catch up on life and consume a few too many mimosas. It usually worked out quite nicely for me. I'd learned that having a well-lubricated wife often led to other kinds of lubrication later.

This time, though, it was clear when Kate walked into the house that I wasn't going to be getting laid. Her soft, pretty face was twisted into a scowl. She made a loud sigh, brushed her long, brown hair over her shoulder, then brushed past me.

"Something happen with Tara?" I asked.

Instead of answering, my wife marched straight to the kitchen. She reached up to the cabinets, pulled out a bottle of cheap vodka, and poured herself a glass, straight. Then she sat down at the table and took a large gulp. Apparently, brunch hadn't been boozy enough.

"You would not believe what Tara told me today, Andy," Kate said, loudly. She was wearing her standard uniform of jeans and a nice sweater; this one was canary yellow. Her diamond earrings, a gift from me for our tenth anniversary, twinkled in her ears.

I fought the urge to flee and sat down across from my wife, carefully clasping her hands.

"Is everything OK?" I asked.

Although her current behavior might indicate otherwise, Kate was usually a very even-tempered, easygoing woman. She's a kindergarten teacher, and she fit the stereotype to a tee. For her to be this upset, I knew something awful must have happened.

"Men are disgusting," Kate told me, "Gender equality, whatever. No woman would ever suggest that. Fucking Jesse."

"Suggest what?" I asked, "Was Jesse at brunch?"

Jesse was Tara's husband, which also made him my brother-in-law. He was a cocky bastard, and we got the sense that he didn't treat Tara well. But, as Kate reminded me many times, he was married to her sister, so we had to be nice when he was around.

"No, Jesse wasn't there," Kate said, "Thank God. But Tara told me what he said to her."

For a moment, I thought that maybe Jesse had asked Tara for a divorce, and I felt relieved. But guilt quickly overcame my joy. Wishing for someone else's misery -- even if they might find happiness later -- felt unforgivably cruel.

Kate took a big swallow of vodka, then continued. "Jesse told Tara he wants to see other women," she said.

"He broke up with her," I said. My intuition was confirmed.

"Oh no, he wants her to see other men, too," Kate said, "Like the both of them, together."

I nearly fell out of my chair. Instead, I got up and found myself a glass. I was going to need my own liquid courage after that revelation.

"You mean like, he wants her to," I couldn't say the words, "And he also wants to. So, they'd be like... Open?"

"Swapping," Kate said, spitting the word out like it was poison. "He wants them to 'share' with another couple. That's how he put it. Or at least, that's how Tara told me he did."

"Oh my God, he doesn't mean us, does he? Is that why Tara told you about it?"

"Ew, no!" Kate said, jumping back from the table like I'd electrocuted her. "Andy! What is wrong with you?!"

"Well, at least that's something," I said.

It wasn't the most ridiculous suggestion in the world. I'd caught Jesse eyeing Kate quite a few times. In truth, I couldn't blame him. My wife was very pretty with huge brown eyes and thick, kissable lips. Her sweet, heart-shaped face was almost always tuned to a smile. Kate had an innate, innocent beauty that told you she'd love you and keep you safe forever.

But she also had a body that would break your heart. Kate was tall, nearly matching my own height of six feet. Yet her breasts still managed to look overlarge on her frame. She worked hard to stay in shape, too, with a flat stomach, long shapely legs, and a pert bubble butt. She kept her thick, brown hair long, letting it hang straight down to the middle of her back.

Naturally, you might wonder how I had scored such a stone-cold fox. I wish I could say that I was some killer stud who hooked this gorgeous babe with my dashing looks and toned body. In truth, I'm just a normal looking guy with slowly thinning mouse-brown hair and skinny arms.

When Kate and I met, in our early twenties, she was breaking out of her awkward phase. She had been cute, clearly, but she didn't truly blossom till after we got married. I lucked out, basically. Won the lottery.

So, I was used to guys checking out my wife, glancing at me, and thinking they might have a shot with her. My brother-in-law was definitely the type to do so, and I was happy to hear that he hadn't. Not that he had much of a chance with Kate, anyway. She might force us to put up with him in person, but I knew that, in private, she despised him.

"Jesse told my sister wants to swap," Kate continued, settling back into her chair, "But not with who. He says there are websites where you can find people. Or secret clubs in the city. It's perverse." Kate gave a little shudder.

"Did Tara agree?" I asked, "To, um, share?"

"My sister told him no, straight out," Kate said, a little bit of pride playing on her face, "Apparently they're still arguing about it, though. He gave her the whole 'you'd do it if you loved me' thing which is so wrong I can't even. I told her she could come stay with us if she needs to."

"Of course," I said, on autopilot.

"I can't believe that jerk said that to my little sister," Kate said, "I mean, could you imagine?"

I shook my head and took another drink. The vodka burned its way down to my belly. Could I imagine asking my wife for that? No, no I could not.

Kate might have had an apex sexy body, but she didn't use it that way. We had what I would describe as a perfectly vanilla experience in the bedroom. She had a very traditional, romantic conception of love and she assumed that the rest of the world saw things the same way.

Did I wish, sometimes, that Kate might open up a little more? Yes, I did. But my fantasies definitely didn't extend to what Jesse was trying to convince Tara to do.

"Seriously, Andy," Kate said. "Would you want to be with another woman? Share me with another man?"

I knew better than to even pretend to consider the question.

"Kate, what do you want me to say here?" I said, "I love you. I want to be with you. I don't want to be with other people, and I definitely don't want you to be with someone else."

Kate nodded, accepting my answer. But she kept eyeing me, warily, like I might surprise her at any second. As if she could see something, deep in my own consciousness -- dangerous despite the fact that it had yet to take shape.

In case it isn't clear, I did not get laid that night.

*

For the next few days, despite the fact that we didn't talk about what had happened, our conversation kept rambling through my mind. I soon found out that Kate had been ruminating on it, as well.

It happened on a Wednesday night. We'd gone out for dinner with my work friend, Brian, and his wife, Vanessa. It was one of those meet-cute couple dates where we tried to see if maybe we could be more than people who shared a job.

We met at a new restaurant, a former diner that with a retro 50's style and cheeky offerings like 'deconstructed mac and cheese' and 'impossible meatloaf.' The place was loud and bustling -- far too hip and trying way too hard for the simple suburbia that surrounded it.

Brian and Vanessa were a nice enough couple. They were younger than us by a few years and clearly from a more popular crowd. Brian was athletic, shorter than me but well-built, with close-cropped dark hair. His wife, Vanessa, was a very pretty blonde with one of those shining smiles that must have taken years of practice to get just right.

Both of them were dressed nicely, wearing clothing that I would have reserved for a far more formal evening. I felt a little beneath them, if I'm being honest. But Brian was a super nice guy and we never lacked for conversation at the office, so why not play up a little, you know?

Dinner went normally at first. We did the usual tentative talking that comes with two couples feeling each other out. No, neither of us had kids. Yes, we all liked the area. And hadn't the weather been crazy lately?

Then, right after we ordered our food, Kate, sprinted past the warning signs, vaulted over the safety gates, and leapt right into the conversational deep end.

"You won't believe what my sister said to me the other day," she said, eyes wide like she could barely contain them. Immediately, I knew where she was going with this, and I glanced around the restaurant nervously. This wasn't exactly polite dinner conversation, but Kate seemed weirdly excited to share it.

Right there, to people she'd met only an hour before, Kate reviewed all the sordid details of what her younger sister had told her. How Jesse had sat Tara down very seriously and said, without a hint of embarrassment or propriety, that he wanted them to be intimate with another couple. Kate really went into it, providing loads of detail that she hadn't even given me. What Jesse had said, how Tara had responded, a real blow-by-blow. Then Kate sat back in our booth and waited for Brian and Vanessa to concur with her condemnation.

Instead, Vanessa only nodded. A little smile played across her lovely, heart-shaped face. "I've done that," she said, as casually as though she were talking about going windsurfing or eating escargot.

I glanced over at Brian, but he just looked at his wife with a slight smirk, wrapping one muscular arm possessively over her shoulder. To that point, the only things I knew about Brian were that he was a jock in college, he now worked over in sales, and he was a huge Yankees fan. Suddenly, I realized that information wasn't nearly enough.

"I had kind of a wild college experience," Vanessa continued. "It's not a big deal. I've found that, if you're with the right people, that kind of thing can be a lot of fun."

Kate gripped my hand under the table, hard. I could feel her heart pounding through her fingers. She stared at the couple across from us like they'd just told her they smuggled heroin into the country for extra cash.

"So, you...?" Kate asked.

"People get way too worked up about sex, in my opinion," Vanessa said, "All of us would be healthier if we could be more comfortable with our bodies. Imagine if, when you got married, you could only ever eat with that one person. What if they were a vegetarian and you loved meat? What if you were very hungry but they were on a diet? It's all very silly. There needs to be consent, of course. Trust is the basis of everything in a relationship. But if you truly love someone, why would you ever want to deny them pleasure? Despite what our sad, puritanical upbringings have taught us, love isn't about ownership. In fact, I've found it's the opposite."

Brian nodded along, contentedly, as his wife proclaimed the benefits of polyamorous relationships. Again, I found myself wondering about who my work friend truly was. I'm sure Kate was thinking something similar. What kind of weirdos was I associating with at work? I was going to hear about it for sure when we drove home.

"If you'd like, I'd be happy to talk to your sister and help set things up for them," Vanessa said, "Brian and I haven't done that kind of thing in years. But when you've been in the lifestyle, well. I still have connections, is what I'm saying."

Kate shook her head. She looked down at the table, defeated, like the world had punched her right in the gut, and all she wanted to do was cower in a corner. I tried to show her she had my support, but she wouldn't even look my way.

We spent the rest of the meal talking about other things. Work stuff for me and Brian, mostly. Kate stayed quiet. After dinner, though, as we walked back to our car -- an orange-y moon hanging heavy and low overhead -- Vanessa reminded us of her offer.

"Seriously, let me know," Vanessa said, "I'd be happy to help you out."

Kate and I didn't say a word to each other the whole drive home.

*

A week later, Kate met with her sister for brunch again. This time, thankfully, my wife came home buzzed and bubbly. It was like seeing the sun for the first time after weeks of storms.

"Tara laid down the law," Kate explained as she walked into our house, "And Jesse backed off." She wrapped her long arms around my neck and gave me a kiss. She started to lead me back to the bedroom. I followed her, like a giddy puppy.

As soon as we got to the bedroom, I reached back to unzip her dress, but she wagged her finger at me. Kate slipped away from my grasp, then turned out all the lights and closed the blinds. The room took on a dusky, tangerine tint. Kate went into the master bathroom. I heard her washing up.

I got naked and sat on the bed, waiting for her. Kate opened the door and gasped.

"Get under the covers, you naughty boy," she said, giggling.

I did as I was told. The room was bright enough with the midday sun that I could make out the curves of my wife's incredible body as she crossed the room. The bed warmed as she slipped in beside me.

I rolled over and our lips met. At one point, I tried to turn Kate over so she would be on top of me, but she refused.

"Be good," Kate said, spreading her legs. I got the message and slid inside of her.

Kate squeezed her eyes shut as I penetrated her. She kissed me. "I love you so much," she said.

We got a good rhythm going. I reached down to squeeze Kate's breasts, the ample flesh overflowing my palms. She arched her back, reacting to my touch.

Like I said, both of us enjoyed sex well enough. But there were times when I wished for more. I wanted Kate to love it, to demand it, to be controlled by carnal need. Something about seeing my beautiful, innocent wife enraptured in ecstasy -- it actually exceeded my own, personal pleasure. But Kate would never abandon herself to the moment.

"You're getting close?" Kate asked as I strained against her.

I nodded. I knew what she was asking, but I kept pumping her. Hoping that maybe this time she'd let it go.

"Andy, what are you doing?" Kate asked. She was using her kindergarten teacher voice and it actually made me soften a little.

I sighed and pulled out, finishing myself with my hand. Kate handed me a wad of tissues from the nightstand, and I used that to snare my spend. She stroked my arm as I peaked, looking at me with wide, adoring eyes.

I flopped down next to her. Both of us breathing heavily. Slick with sweat. I felt this weird mix of post-sex satisfaction and frustration. Like some chunk of me was still looking for a way to finish.

At least I didn't have to use a condom, I thought to myself. Kate couldn't go on the pill for medical reasons, but I felt strongly that being married meant I didn't have to use protection anymore. It had been one hell of an argument at the time, but it was one of the few I'd won.

"What was that all about?" Kate asked lying back in bed. Her body looked languid but her deep brown eyes were like sparks. "Before."

"I thought maybe we could," I said, "You know. Start trying."

My beautiful wife shook her head. It would have been adorable if it wasn't so frustrating in the moment.

"You know I love kids," Kate said, "But I see them every day. I want us to enjoy our time as a couple while we still can. You know?"

"Right," I said, "I get it. Just got caught up. In the moment."

Kate leaned over me and kissed me, hard.

"You'll get your chance," she said, "Someday. Soon."

*

Nearly a month passed. Kate didn't mention Tara's issue again, so I assumed it had been resolved. We went back to our normal lives. It was a moment, nothing more.

Then, on a random Wednesday in early April, Brian invited me out to lunch.

We walked across town to a new taco place that Brian had been raving about and grabbed a table near the back. The food was as good as Brian had promised and the atmosphere was fun with indie artwork on the walls and thumping tunes. Again, I felt a little out of place, but it was nice being out of the office, and Brian was fun company.

Based on his body, you'd think that Brian was one of those muscle-headed douchebag bros you meet at the gym. But, in truth, he was a sincerely nice guy. He was easy to talk to, pleasant to work with. His sunny attitude always shone through. I have to admit, I had a bit of a boy-crush on him.

We did the usual work talk while we ate -- complaining about contractors, worrying over deadlines, the usual. Then Brian got down to business. He told me that he and Vanessa were hosting a party that Saturday night and asked if Kate and I would join.

"This isn't your typical boring couple's night," Brian said, "There will be no brie or boardgames."

I raised an eyebrow, thinking of what Vanessa had told us over dinner. Was Brian inviting us to one of those parties? Brian laughed.

"No man, nothing like that," he said, "Look, will a few people end up doing stuff? Probably. But no one gets involved with anything they don't want to be a part of. Look, Nessa and I both really enjoyed dinner with you guys last month. We think you're a lot of fun and we'd like to have more fun with you. That's all."

Being honest, I was tickled by the thought that Brian and Vanessa liked us. They both seemed too cool, too good-looking, to get on with a couple like Kate and I. Oh, sure, Kate was a knockout, but I thought I was kind of average. And both of us were quiet, shy people. Hearing a popular guy like Brian say he enjoyed our company, well, I guess it stroked my ego a bit.

As to the event itself, I supposed it could be fun. Some small part of me whispered, too, that if a few people did end up hooking up, maybe Kate would see it and open up a little, as well. Nothing wrong with some healthy inspiration, right?

But as soon as those words entered my head, reality washed over me. Even in college I didn't truly like parties. All the loud music and drunk dopes. It was something I had to endure rather than enjoy. And even if I could talk myself into it, somehow, there was no way that Kate would agree. She made me seem like an outgoing guy in comparison. There was just no way that we would be attending this event.

"I appreciate the offer," I said, feeling a mixture of regret and relief as I spoke. "We like you guys a lot too and we'd love to hang out again sometime. But we're not party people."

Brian nodded, knowingly. He started to speak, paused, then started again.

"Let me ask you something," he said, "How long have you and Kate been together?"

"Eleven years," I said, "We met when we were both fresh out of college."

"You're happy?"

"Oh yes, definitely," I said.

"But there's things you'd change, right?" Brian asked, leaning in conspiratorially.

"I don't know what you mean."

"Sure you do," Brian said, "Nothing's ever perfect. Like, Nessa's always after me about leaving my workout stuff around the house. Stuff like that."

"Oh," I said, "Oh yes. Of course. That's being married."

"Exactly," Brian said, "There are things that you want. That she wants. Things that you'd change about the other person, if you could. See, some people look at marriage as an ending. Happily ever after, right? But I see it as a beginning, the start of becoming your best self."