Lila

Chapter 1 -- Shannon

"Morning, Lila!" calls Alice, my morning nurse, a somewhat rude, unfriendly elderly woman, awaking me from a beautiful dream.

I open my eyes slowly. Alice knocks back my blanket. I'm almost naked underneath. My arms have pushed up the nightgown, and one of my breasts is visible. And of course, no one can ignore my diaper. I feel ashamed. I drooled all over again during the night. My head has turned to the side, and my mouth is wide open. My nightgown and the towel that the evening nurse put under my cheek are wet. And my diaper is full. I woke up in the night and had a need for the loo, but I cannot do that, get up and go to the bathroom, and I cannot call for someone, press a call button, or make myself noticed in any other way.

I'm living with my stepmother since my father passed away a few years ago. To be more precise, I'm in a daycare during the day and I only sleep at my stepmother's. She likes each and every penny she gets for my care on the night shift, but she doesn't like to get up periodically and check on me. Now Alice has to wipe my butt and clean me, working on me distantly and professionally as always.

"Did we have a good night?" asks Alice, sliding her hand into my diaper. She knows that I cannot speak and does not expect an answer. The only sound I can produce is 'Uhh'. She fumbles around briefly, including between my legs, and states, "A wet night!"

Alice is doing my morning routine fast and silently, as every time. Take off my pajamas, put me on the nursing table, strap my arms and legs so that I do not fall down, take off my diaper, and wipe me. As always, Alice wrinkles her nose while smelling the open diaper, and as always, I feel ashamed to be that helpless lying in a full diaper. And I get annoyed with Alice. Why is she always so rude? Yes, the diaper is full and smells, of course, but I cannot help it. I'm just that helpless. Fortunately, I only need a diaper at night. During the day, there is always someone with me, and I can use my talker to call for help. Alice puts me in a plastic wheelchair, straps down my arms and legs, straightens my head and finally closes my mouth. Now she can take me to the shower and wash me. Back on the nursing table, she dresses me, putting an ugly T-shirt and some old baggy track pants on me. At least she puts thick brown socks on my badly twisted feet and sits me in my everyday wheelchair.

I have severe cerebral palsy, and I really can not do anything on my own; my arms and legs are always moving, fidgeting, and kicking. I can not stop the involuntary movements or control them somehow. My hands are always bent inward and clenched into fists. My hands are useless, but it does not matter as I cannot move my arms anyway. I can not use my feet either; they are badly twisted inwards and my toes are cramped over each other. I will never be able to stand on my feet. My cerebral palsy affects more or less all of my muscles. It is hard work for me to open or close my mouth. Sometimes I cannot keep my head up; it likes to tilt forward and turn to the left, and except for 'Uhh', I cannot speak either.

I am always in a wheelchair, except for the night in my bed. My wheelchair is adapted for my special needs. There are padded supports with wide Velcro straps to fix my arms and legs. The backrest is a padded half-shell that completely encloses my back and keeps it straight, with support under my shoulders, so that I can sit upright. The headrest has a small padded brace on the left side that encloses my head up to my forehead and prevents my head from tipping forward or turning to the left. And there is a safety belt across my hips and an X-belt across my shoulders and hips that fixes my upper body into the backrest. I cannot move this way, but I also can not fall out of my chair either. I do not feel trapped or confined in my wheelchair. On the contrary, my wheelchair secures and protects me. My arms can not fidget, knock something over, or hit my hands against something. In the same way, my legs cannot flail about and my feet cannot kick anywhere. I'm safe in my wheelchair and I cannot hurt myself. And my talker is mounted just in front of me, where I can easily operate it with my eyes. A camera captures my gaze and places the mouse pointer and I click with the blink of one eye. My talker is my window into the world. It is my voice, and except for 'Uhh', it is the only way for me to speak. It operates my wheelchair too, my computer, the TV, and the smart home system. My wheelchair is not a prison for me. On the contrary, my wheelchair means freedom for me and lets me participate. My wheelchair is my home and my gateway to the world.

Alice fastens my arms and legs, straps me in, and ties a bib around my neck to catch the spittle that runs out of my mouth sometimes. Then she turns everything on and I'm ready.

"Let's go!" says Alice, this time even with a smile.

"Thank you, Alice," I reply with my monotonous artificial voice.

"Are you excited about tonight?" asks Alice as she tidies my room.

"Tonight?"

"You are getting a new afternoon nurse."

Crap, I have not thought about that at all. I'm afraid that Lisa will leave me. Lisa is my dearest caregiver. She is the only one who understands me and sees the human in me, not just an anonymous client. She knows my needs, knows everything about me, what I like to eat and drink, what I read and what I like to watch on TV. And she also knows what I like before I sleep. Lisa is the only person I trust enough to talk about my sexual needs. Lisa sometimes helps me and sticks a vibrator in me when she puts me to bed. She leaves me alone then, the vibrator is on, and I let it happen. Of course, I cannot hold the vibrator or move it inside me in any way, and eventually it just slips out, but if I'm lucky, it was long enough for me. Lisa then stays longer and waits for me until she removes the vibrator, cleans me, and puts a new diaper on me. My stepmother is only fine if Lisa leaves later, and Alice should not notice anything the next morning either. I have no idea what to do without Lisa. As severely disabled as I am, I will probably never experience real sex. I know for sure that the vibrator is my only option for sexual satisfaction and that I will always need someone to help me with it.

"Her name is Shannon. Seems to be a nice girl," Alice said, trying to reassure me.

"I'm sure she is nice," I say with a forced smile.

Alice leaves me alone with my TV and my emails.

The morning goes on as usual, with little variety and little excitement. I can hardly wait. I'm excited, and suddenly I have butterflies in my stomach. What will she be like? Shannon sounds like a young name, so maybe she is at my age. I tried to find out what happened to Lisa, but did not get any answers. I miss her already, but I also think about Shannon all the time.

After lunch, the head nurse of the daycare meets me in the lounge and asks me to follow her.

"I want you to meet Shannon."

Shannon is waiting in the lounge, smiling at me with an open and friendly smile. She is actually about my age and has a friendly, warm face. Her long brown hair is tied back in a ponytail. She has beautiful, long, straight legs, and her airy dress gives a hint of a slim, feminine body. I'm excited, and I like her at once. I'm trying to smile back as best I can, but I'm sure it looks terrible. Hopefully, there will be no spittle running out of my mouth and dripping down my chin right now. But I guess I'm not looking that bad as Shannon is smiling at me kindly and warmly.

"Lila, this is Shannon, your new afternoon nurse. She is responsible for your afternoon activities, and she will feed you at dinner. You will spend the evening together, Shannon will take you home, she will get you ready for the night and put you to bed. Shannon, this is Lila."

"Hello Lila!"

Shannon stands up and takes my twisted hands. Shannon's hands feels soft and smooth, a delicate touch, but firm too. Another plus for her.

"I'll leave you now. Shannon is a trained nurse, of course, and knows what to do without individual training for your needs. Use the evening now to get acquainted with each other."

When we are alone, I have my talker say, "Nice to meet you, Shannon."

Now I'm so excited that my arms and legs try to wriggle and flail about, although I'm well strapped into my wheelchair. My twisted hands twitch in all directions. And I can feel that I drool and my spittle drips down my chin. I have to wear a slobber bib for my whole life because I wet myself, but now I'm embarrassed for the first time. My body is also wriggling in the safety straps, and Shannon can definitely see my breasts jiggling under my shirt.

"Yes, I'm happy to meet you too, Lila".

Shannon smiles, looks at me and takes my twisted hands in hers.

"Tell me about yourself. What do you like to eat and drink? And how would you like me to feed you? What do you like on TV, in movies, music, or what do you like to read? Can you read by yourself, or do you want me to read to you? I would like us to get to know each other as well as possible. Maybe we can do something together sometime?"

We talk until dinner. Shannon has untied my arms and is holding my hands tightly. Slowly, I am getting calmer, and my body does not fidget anymore. But my arms enjoy the freedom and fidget around as much as Shannon allows.

We actually have a lot in common. We both like independent movies and punk rock. We like to read and watch movies in the cinema, and we are both interested in fashion. I'd like to wear something beautiful and feminine, but this is only a dream. I'm always dressed in hideous old track pants and t-shirts in ugly colors that are too big for me. Yes, it is convenient for my nursing, but it appears old and loveless.

"So, it's time for dinner. Shall we go to the dining hall, or shall I feed you here? They offer turkey with vegetables, potatoes, and pudding for dessert."

"Sounds good; here please." I reply. Shannon watches me as I speak with my eyes.

After a few minutes, Shannon is back with our food, puts the plates on the table, and sits on a chair in front of me. She wipes my wet face and ties a new, bigger bib around me. Then she cuts the turkey into very small pieces, sorts out everything hard, and mashes the potatoes and vegetables.

"All right?"

"Yes, thank you," I say, trying to smile.

Eating is hard for me. The muscles in my jaw do not work as I want them to, and it is hard for me to open and close my mouth, especially to open it wide enough for a fork or a spoon. And I'm unable to chew at all. Therefore, everything has to be squeezed so that I can swallow it directly. And my nurse must keep my mouth closed until I swallow, otherwise everything falls out again. Nevertheless, a lot of pap falls out of my mouth and I spill it all over myself. I also have a feeding tube for the bad days when I cannot manage to get fed, but I do not like it. I want to smell and taste my food.

Drinking is not much easier. I can only drink with a straw. And someone has to keep my mouth closed. When I eat and drink, I feel like a baby.

Shannon is doing well, always placing small portions on the spoon, waiting until I'm ready before feeding me the next spoon, and ensuring that my mouth stays closed. It is slow, but it works. But then I have to cough, and everything falls out of my mouth into my lap.

"Oops, never mind! I'll do that right away."

Shannon takes a napkin and cleans up the spattered food in my lap, wiping and rubbing with the napkin. She also does it below, between my legs. And, as if by chance, she presses a little more firmly against my pussy. It is a nice feeling. I moan softly, my mouth opens again and a new gush of spittle runs out, dripping down from my chin. Shannon continues, wiping that off too and cleaning my face. I do not know why, but it is exciting to have her hand between my legs, even if Shannon just cleans my pants.

Shannon probably didn't notice anything. She continued to feed me and also put the straw in my mouth to let me drink. At the end, she pulls off my completely spilled bib and cleans my face again.

"Shall I take you home, and we watch TV now until it's time to sleep?"

"Yes, fine," I answer with my talker.

Chapter 2 -- At Home

We watch TV for the next two hours.

"Lila, let's start a little earlier getting you ready for the night. For the first time, it will take longer until I know what and how to do and how to make you feel as good as possible."

"So, I'm going to undress you first."

Shannon opens all the straps, which fixes me in my wheelchair and lifts me up. I feel her breasts pressing against mine, feel my nipples getting hard, and I have the butterflies in my stomach again. My arms and legs wriggle and kick, but Shannon holds me tight and lays me on my bed. She sits me up and slides behind me, leaning my back against her chest while restraining my kicking legs tightly between hers. Then she pushes my shirt up, touching my erect nipples by chance, and hesitates there for a moment before pulling the shirt all the way over my head.

Then she lays me on my back and takes off my pants and panties, ensuring that I do not fall out of my bed. I am naked and everything is clearly visible, even my pink pussy. Lisa shaved me yesterday.

Shannon looks at me, but that is OK. I'm not ashamed of my violently wriggling body that does what it wants and that I cannot control. On the contrary, Shannon's satisfied smile arouses me more than a bit, so much that my legs spasm violently, my thighs opening wide to reveal my soft pussy. My heart beats faster, and I can feel my face burning.

"You're blushing!" laughs Shannon, and "Do not worry, yours isn't the first pussy I've ever seen. But none has ever been so neat and inviting yet!"

I do not understand and try to look at Shannon questioningly. Surely only a distorted grimace will come out.

But obviously, Shannon understands me and laughs.

"I'm a lesbian, but do not tell anyone because they will send me to a male client if they know about it." She paused, "And I like you, so..."

I did not expect that. My heart is racing. I do not know if I'm lesbian, heterosexual, or whatever. I do not have any experience yet. And, who is going to deal with a woman who is as severely disabled as I am? My nurses? Alice will hardly do it, and Lisa helped me with the vibrator. That's all. The only experience I have is my vibrator. I also have very little contact with men. My nurses and assistants are always women, and I am unable to do anything myself or meet other people outside. There are a few male residents with whom I sometimes have contact, but they are all disabled and dependent on others for help. But it is true that I'm more interested in women, and with women I get along better and everything is easier.

Shannon carries me into the bathroom, sits me on the loo, and holds me until I'm done. As she lays me on the nursing table and washes me, I get hot. Shannon does it extra slowly, letting me feel her hands all over my body, the warm water, and the good-smelling soap. As she washes my breasts, my nipples stand up, and I feel myself getting wet. Hopefully she does not notice, I think, as she dries me off and gets me ready to sleep.

Shannon puts a diaper and my pajamas on me for the night, then lays me on my bed and tucks me in.

"Are you okay?" she asks and wants to leave.

I'm still aroused and wet, thinking about my vibrator and whether I can ask Shannon. I'm so aroused that I will not sleep without doing it. Shannon has been so understanding and sensitive all evening, I think I can trust her. And she is young, so she certainly knows my needs.

"Uhh, uhh, uhh," I moan.

"Need some help?" she asks, grinning at me and looking around, searching for something. Shannon opens my nightstand and giggles loudly. She reaches in and pulls out my vibrator, waving it around in front of me. I'm embarrassed, feeling my cheeks burn and turning bright red. I do not know what to say. My heart is racing, and I can not stop drooling.

"Uhh, uhh, uhh"

"Bravo, a good choice. I got that one too," Shannon grins, and after a brief pause, she says, "That's what you want, isn't it? I can see it in your face. And I do not want you to be embarrassed. There's no reason. Of course, I know your needs and, of course, I'll help you."

Shannon undresses me again, also the diaper. I lie naked on the bed, totally tense and excited. My arms and legs are going crazy, wriggling and kicking wildly. Shannon kneels between my legs, looking at me and caressing me, tenderly and slowly, until I clam down a little and can get involved with her, with the pleasure of her hands on me.

Shannon turns on the vibrator and caresses me with it. My belly, then slowly higher, my breasts, and my nipples. And slowly back again, between my legs, over my pussy. Finally, she pushes the vibrator slowly inside me, moves it around a bit inside me, explores how I react, and finally finds the right spot, my clit.

I breathe heavily, moan, drool runs out of my mouth, and my legs kick around. Shannon is sitting between my legs, so I can't kick her. But my arms hit her; my left fist stripes Shannon's breasts.

"Go ahead," says Shannon, smiling at me. As if that was me! But she takes my twisted hand and caresses herself with it, and then she caresses me too, my breasts, my nipples. She kisses my breasts, plays around with her tongue on my nipples, pets my breasts, and plays with her fingertips on my wet nipples until they are hard and standing upright. And the vibrator is still inside me, at my clit, driving me crazy.

"Do you like that, Lila?" Shannon asks me in a soft, seductive voice.

I moan loudly and look into her beautiful brown eyes. Shannon smiles, and takes my twisted hand in hers, slides my hand under her shirt, to her breasts, caresses them, and plays with my fist on her nipples.

I'm almost at my goal. My legs are helping me, not kicking around anymore, but wide open and pushing my pelvis against Shannon's hands, pushing the vibrator deeper into me. Shannon plays with it, moves the vibrator around in me, and finally pulls it out and uses her hand, caressing my pussy at first, and then she pushes her finger into me, into my wetness, her fingertips at my clit, much better than the vibrator, just at the right place. At least her wet fingers are at my breasts, caressing my nipples with my wetness and letting me smell it. Finally, she is back between my legs, her fingers inside me, at my clit again. I can not stand it anymore. Shannon bends over me and kisses me, helping me to open my mouth wide enough for her tongue to kiss me deeply. Then my orgasm takes me away.

Shannon still kisses and caresses me tenderly while I'm breathing heavily and my arousal slowly subsides. Then she cleans the vibrator, tidies up everything so that Alice will not notice, and goes into the bathroom to wash herself and get properly dressed again. She brings a washcloth for me, washes me in bed, and also puts a diaper on me for the night and dresses me in my pajamas again. I still feel Shannon's hands on me, and I know that my world is upside down now.

My body is still cramped and twisted but does not twitch anymore. Shannon caresses and massages me for a while until the cramps release. I enjoy it; I enjoy being touched; I enjoy Shannon's closeness and her hands working on me.

This was the best sex I ever had.

"Hope it was nice for you?" Shannon asks me.

I try to answer, but again I cannot manage more than a moaned "Uhh" and a distorted smile. But Shannon understands me, pulls the blanket over me again, wipes the spit from my face, and kisses me once again.

"Maybe we'll spend tomorrow afternoon at the pool, yes?"

"Uhh"

"You need a bathing suit. Do you have one?"