Lilith

My name is Marcus Veovin. While I'm a man who feels well past his prime on most days, I can clearly remember a time when that wasn't always the case. At one point in my life, I was a young upstart with plans of grandeur for my future. If I could, I'd like to relive a story about that bold, young man who lived for the moment without an ounce of fear in his being. Back then, I was a different man with goals to reach for and dreams to obtain.

It was a time before we had any of the technology we presently take for granted. I often scoff at the kids I see walking through the grocery store with their phones and earbuds as I recall a time when my friends and I thought our buddy Grant was so damn cool for having a pager. Nowadays, I see twelve-year-olds with their faces buried in contraptions I wouldn't even begin to know how to work. The world is certainly a different place than the one I grew up in.

Back then, we would fall off our bikes and skin our knees...and simply get back up and shake it off before climbing back on the horse and doing it all over again. In this day and age, though, kids are now treated like antique dolls and the world revolves around them if they manage to get a papercut...on what paper, I'll never know since we live in a mostly paperless world and everything's done on computer screens.

Enough of my bitching, though. I said I had a story to tell and I do. It takes place during a glorious time when the world was a much more rational place, and it was when I was a young man on the comeback trail after a few unexpected dips in my life. At the time, I was in my mid-twenties and had a lot to look forward to...although I may have disagreed with that last statement during the time this story takes place.

Autumn was quickly approaching and I was coming off the end of a relationship that had been going downhill for the last few months. I had been with the same woman for a little over two years and we were both well aware of all the good things we had going for us during that time. When I look back at that relationship, I can honestly say that marrying that woman would have been the best thing for me...but I was so terribly afraid of hurting her. My sordid past began interfering in an otherwise perfect courtship in unforeseen ways, and I knew that sticking around would endanger my angelic girlfriend. The eventual decline in our rapport was one hundred percent my fault due to my fears, and I have no problem shouldering every ounce of the blame. To better understand what happened, I have to go back to some events in my early twenties that pushed me in the direction of leaving my homeland for an extended period of time.

It was right at the end of my first year in college when I was confronted by a trio of mysterious people and told that by following them, I would in some extraordinary way be safeguarding the future of the world. While I know that sounds about as farfetched as most plots from science fiction movies, the three of them were exceptionally convincing...especially the female member of the group. She just had a way with persuasion that had me believing she had seen some of the worst shit the world has to offer in her lifetime. Even though she appeared to be no older than fifty, she acted like she had lived at least five times that, and her intelligence was almost sagely. Looking in that woman's eyes had me completely converted to her way of thinking within the first few days that I traveled with her and her fellow operatives...and the things I witnessed while with them remain nearly implausible to this day even though I observed those astonishing wonders with my own eyes.

Surprisingly, I wanted nothing more than to dismiss most of what I had learned from this enigmatic group. Even though I knew what they were telling and showing me to be fact, I think most people are in the same boat and want to disregard the negative truths they hear about and pretend such things don't exist. These covert operatives actually did their best to help me see the legitimacy in their claims and carried out their end of the bargain in order to show me everything they believed me to be capable of, but in the end, I wanted no part of it. They may have opened my eyes to a good many things I needed to be made aware of, but at heart, I was still just a naïve kid in my early twenties. I didn't want to believe some of the information they had given me, and I had absolutely no idea how to handle it. I went to great lengths to drive some of those truths from my mind...but that has nothing to do with the tale I want to tell.

I think what can be taken from all that exposition is that there's a period of my life better left in the past, and when I finally came to terms with things, I returned to my homeland to acclimate myself to a normal way of life once again. I did my best to adapt to a regular routine and tried my hardest to find a nine-to-five job in a comfortable setting like a grocery store or a warehouse where I could just move boxes around, but everything around me was so...different. Seeing the world from a grislier perspective had changed me in more ways than one. I was ashamed to hug my own mother after some of the things I had done. I wasn't sure how to cope with things until a wonderful woman was introduced into my life who did everything in her power to help me forget the horror I had witnessed, and for the first year and a half I was with her, I was truly happy.

Enter Eve. Eve was the best thing that could've happened to me at the lowest point in my life. Here was a woman who brought me back to an ordinary lifestyle and never once had any squabbles over my more "abnormal" behaviors that I randomly suffered from. She knew that due to the "adventures" I had been on with those three operatives, I was having a hard time conforming with normalcy again. She hung in there with me through the worst of times, and when I look back at all the wonderful women I have met throughout my incredible life, I can honestly say that Eve may have done the most for me. She was an angel among a world of demons, and she accommodated me in ways I could never begin to explain.

So why would I ever sabotage what could have very easily been the best part of my life? Well, at first, it started with the simple nightmares. I think that maybe I had boxed away many of the horrors I had seen when I had been around the world with those three operatives, and even telling Eve about everything I had done and seen didn't seem to make the horrifying memories abate in the least. I guess it didn't truly matter in the end because the nightmares became night terrors that caused me to thrash about in my slumber. This disorder became so intense as I relived some of the events I had survived that I was afraid of flailing about and injuring Eve while we slept, so I started spending my nights on the couch. I hated being away from her, and she even tried to convince me that we could weather the storm, but there was absolutely no way I would bring bodily harm to such a fantastic female. As things intensified, I knew what I had to do. It was with a heavy heart that I went to Eve and broke things off. There was just no way I could put her in jeopardy due to what I had lived through. Words can't express what she meant to me and how much she had done for me, so until I received some kind of help, I didn't want to be around her for fear of bringing her harm.

I was heartbroken to say the least, but I was raised by two extremely strong parents who instilled in me both values and traits that wouldn't allow me to succumb to despair. I missed my girl since I had truly thought she'd be the one, but I picked up the pieces and moved on...it was the only thing I could do. I had to find a way to combat my demons from the past so I could move on to the bright future I had envisioned.

The first thing I decided to do was leave town. I had been living in an insignificant community at the time since Eve and I enjoyed our solitude, and with no ties other than the woman I loved to hold me there, I filled a couple of garbage bags with clothes and other necessities. I threw them into the back of my old, beat-up pickup as I did my best to not look back. Doing so would only hurt too much. Like all of the women in my life, I loved each and every one of them for different reasons and carry that love with me to this very day...and with everything that Eve had done for me, I would certainly never forget her or stop loving her. She was my beacon of light when I had been at my darkest.

I climbed into my little black truck and started driving around since I was convinced she'd know right where to take me. I journeyed around and tried to clear my head for the better part of a week. I only stopped when I needed to sleep or refuel the tank, and then I would climb back in that reliable vehicle and drive some more. I didn't have a plan at the time: I just wanted to put as much distance between my past and impending future as possible. I'm sure I'm exaggerating, but it felt like I covered a couple thousand miles while circling throughout the continent during that week. I put my complete trust in that amazing pickup...and in the end, she didn't let me down.

I had absolutely no idea where I was when she finally broke down on a gravel road out in the middle of nowhere. At first, the sputtering I heard from under the hood came from out of the blue, but I realized within seconds that she wasn't going to last. I chugged along for another mile or two hoping to spot any sign of civilization that I could, and as luck would have it, I noticed a grove of trees in the distance with a thin back road leading into it. Through the trunks and greenery, I was able to espy a house that must've been four times my age at the time, and I figured it could only belong to a farmer. He would most surely have the tools required to get me up and running until I could find an actual mechanic.

I turned onto the meager back road that was barely wide enough for my small pickup. I managed to make it about halfway down the gravel pathway until my old clunker decided to completely give out. Cursing under my breath, I hopped out of my little truck and popped the hood...only to receive a face full of smoke. I coughed and waved my hands in front of my face to try to divert the toxic mist away from my nostrils. I quickly conceded since I knew there was no way I'd be fixing what I was looking at. Not all men are car enthusiasts, and I knew next to zilch about vehicles. I had absolutely no idea what I was looking at.

Walking around the black pickup to my passenger door, I pulled it open and grabbed the bottle of water I had in the cupholder before going around to the back and pulling out the two bags of every possession to my name in the entire world. I put the bottle into one of the bags before slinging them both over my right shoulder. I wasn't the largest man in the world, but I had enough muscle to handle myself under the worst of circumstances. It may not have been optimal, but since I was near a house, I had high hopes that the pickle I had landed myself in would be resolved before the day was out...and if not, I would kindly ask the owner of the home if they knew of a nearby motel.

The further I walked down the isolated lane, the more congested and cluttered the trees became. The scent of cedar and pine almost became overwhelming. Within just five minutes, the branches above had become so thick that I could no longer see daylight. It wasn't quite far enough into autumn for the leaves to start falling yet, but even if they had, I firmly believed there were so many entangled branches above me that the sun still would've been obstructed entirely from my view.

After another few minutes of walking that silent, lonely stretch of forestry, I happened upon an open area surrounded by trees. The small road opened into what almost resembled a gravel cul-de-sac, and I then laid eyes on more than I had bargained for.

To my right was the house I had spotted through the trees, but to my left was a sizable barn with peeling red paint. Directly in front of me about forty yards away was a smaller building that I believed to be a chicken coop, and nestled back between the coop and the main house was what looked like a guesthouse. It didn't have nearly the size of the dwelling before me, but it almost looked to be in better shape...at least on the outside. There were a couple of tractors and even an old automobile that looked like it rarely saw action. The only other thing to take note of was a trail to the left of the chicken coop that looked to wind behind some trees and lead further into the woods. When I listened close enough, I knew I could hear the tranquil sound of water. There must've been a river or brook off in the distance.

As I studied my new surroundings, I was suddenly hit with the realization that I had seen a very similar setup in my not so distant past. It wasn't exactly identical, but there was no mistaking that I had once seen a very comparable setting as I analyzed the resemblance of what I was now viewing to the home of a friend I had known in my latter days of schooling. Her name was Cassandra, and her family had lived in a very analogous locale.

I turned my attention to the venerable estate before me. Some of the shutters were crooked and one of the steps leading up to the porch was dipping low enough to create a tripping hazard. Like the barn, the house's paint was peeling and showed signs of its age, but none of its faults took anything away from its impressive stature. Maybe it was due to the fact that I appreciated isolation and living in the country, but I thought it was one of the most remarkable residences I had ever beheld.

With my bags still draped over my right shoulder, I glanced around the area one last time before making my way toward the house and up the rickety steps and leading to the front door. I had considered walking over to the barn just to have a look around, but I thought that would just make me appear nosy or like a prowler if anyone happened to spot me from the windows of the house. Reaching the front portal, I took a deep breath of the fresh, country air before raising a fist and rapping on the wooden, outer edge of the screen door.

After a minute of nothing, I decided to knock one more time. There was no doorbell to ring, so my knocking would have to suffice. I didn't want to pound any harder and come off as a ruffian, so I remained patient for another minute until the main door behind the screen finally opened. For whatever reason, I was a little surprised when my knocking was met by a short, old woman.

I took a step back as the elderly female with curly white hair opened the screen door and stepped down onto the porch. I'm by no means a tall man since I stand under six feet tall, but the stern woman who had come to the door could certainly be classified as short since she had to look up at me.

"Um, hello," I greeted the round, wrinkly woman. "I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm having a little car trouble..."

"What are you doing here?" The withered old lady asked in the same tone a lecturing grandmother might use. Annoyed, she droned on, "Who are you? Why have you come here?"

I scratched the back of my head with my free hand since I was obviously an unwelcome guest. "Um, I'm sorry to come onto your property unannounced, but my pickup broke down a little further down the road. It's something I'm unable to fix, and I was hoping to maybe use your phone..."

"My phone doesn't work," the old bat hastily cut me off.

A windchime hanging behind me on the porch almost made me jump when a small gust blew through the area. Ironic to say the least after some of the things I've lived through, but I suddenly felt very uncomfortable as I fished for the right words to move the conversation along. "Well, if you could maybe point me in the direction of the nearest town, I'll be on my way..."

The woman's suspicious and rheumy eyes looked me over. She appeared hesitant at first, but she finally asked, "Can you work?"

My voice became lodged in my throat. I didn't know how to answer since I wasn't sure what the woman meant. I was capable of a good many things, so I quickly surveyed the area before answering with a query of my own when I asked, "Do you need some help around here?"

"There's work to do in the barn," the old woman responded almost before I had a chance to finish my sentence. "There's plenty to do out there."

I've always enjoyed working with my hands and I've never been afraid to get a little dirty, but I had never worked on a farm before. I still wasn't exactly sure what this woman was asking of me, but if she was willing to somehow get me the help I needed to fix my pickup, I would be more than willing to aid with some of her chores. I finally answered by nodding while saying, "Is your husband out in the barn? Will he tell me what to do?"

The woman solemnly shook her head. "My Albert passed a few years ago."

I have to admit that I was a little shocked at first to hear the woman's words. I quickly mumbled my condolences, but my real thought was how such a small, elderly woman could live alone in such an isolated area. Of course, on closer inspection, the aging female did look like the typical ornery cuss who had been born in a time when children weren't coddled and had more than likely seen some fairly harsh times. When I finally found my voice again, I proclaimed, "I'll gladly lend a hand if you tell me what it is you need done. I don't have a whole lot of experience doing work on a farm, but I'll pitch in if I can." I wasn't exactly sure why I felt obligated to offer my services, but at the same time, I sure as hell wasn't doing anything else.

The short, stubby woman lifted a hand and pointed at the barn across the cul-de-sac. I was glad she wasn't motioning toward either of the two tractors I saw parked off to the side since I wouldn't know how to operate them without a quick lesson. "Leave your bags here and head on over to the barn. You'll find plenty to do in there. I'll take your things into the house."

I was a little confused since I wasn't being given better instructions, but for whatever reason, I complied and set my bags down. I was in the process of turning to walk down the three steps leading off the porch when the old woman suddenly stopped me by reaching out and grabbing onto my left bicep. Even through my shirtsleeve, her touch was cold and made my heart skip a beat out of fear. When I finally turned to face her, I saw for the first time how truly dark and despairing her brown eyes were.

"When you go in there," she ominously spoke, "Don't be afraid of Lilith. I realize she's a little different, but she's a hard worker and gets things done. She never speaks, though, so don't be offended by that."

Caught off guard by the fact that someone else did in fact live on the property, I couldn't help but inquire, "Is Lilith your daughter?" It was the only thing I could think to say that made sense.

The old woman shook her head, almost looking offended by my question. "My Albert and I could never spawn such a hideous monster! The very thought of me conceiving one such as her...ugh!" The owner of the house shuddered at the mere mention of a blood relation.

I honestly had no idea what to think. The old woman's words were truly despicable. I had not yet met the girl she spoke of, but how she could badmouth a person helping her out in the middle of nowhere was beyond me. I didn't have the words to respond with.

The old woman's grip tightened as her nails dug into my flesh and she warned me, "Don't be offended when you see that vile looking creature: I've told her in the past that her attire for the job is uncouth, but she doesn't hardly listen to me. Oh, the spawn of the underworld that one is!"