All Comments on 'Lilith's night out'

Please feel free to post any feedback or criticisms, I'm still looking to improve myself :)

Thanks.

Hey there,

I really enjoyed reading how you slowly escalate Lilith's struggle and describe her body functions and sensations.

Two things I found could indeed be improved on.

First, you obviously forgot to grammar- and punctuation-check before posting. Nothing to jump off a bridge for, but my brain tends to behave like a friggin Nazi about mistakes and takes me out of the atmosphere an otherwise good text might have established.

Secondly, the kink factor could have been higher for my own personal level of kinkiness. As it is, this could have been printed in a magazine targeted at teenagers who talk about the "most embarrassing" moments of their lives. Nothing to make an old dog get up from his slumber, as it were,

But changing that would mean tailoring it to my/your readers' needs, and I'd rather have you write as you see fit and not give a rat's behind about how perverted *some* of your readers would have it. There'll always be people who won't concur a hundred percent about some detail, so don't even bother, if your result sounds fine to you.

Thanks for sharing!

Could you make a version of this story with her in a skirt, no tights or leggings, please?

stunning - i would have loved for her to "full-on" wet herself on the bus - very enjoyable read :) thanks for sharing :)