by Victoura56
This almost feels like it could have been multiple chapters crammed into one. Not bad though
I've read things like this on this sight alot. Try to redo this with a bit more originalality.
This was a good story with a little work it would be a great story. I would love to read what happens next
Not too bad for a first time, but definitely needs more development. If he is giving her a choice in accepting him then he should give her more info to make the choice.
Was this your first time? The story rushed through. There was no real background to the main character, the alien was almost indescribable, and the sex scene was a little quick and somewhat non decriptive.
I feel if you took a little more time with the middle and end it could be a better story.
I hope i could provide a little constructive insight