All Comments on 'Lilly, from Tomboy to Horny Slut'

Proof your work.. too many typos, spelling mistakes and wrong words... While your sex play is good, bad editing completely distracts and breaks the flow and mood...and where was the group sex? All one-on-one play. You had lots of opportunity to include Dan the first night and could have set up a scene with the three men.

Quotation marks, use them.

Ditto!

could do with checking the spelling and grammar