Lingo Libido

Alpha found himself tapping his finger against the steering wheel as he took everything in. Charlie was visiting. He was about to go and pick him up from the airport. It was going to be Charlie's first time that he visited him in America. He was ready, he even got his boyfriend flowers.

Just the thought of him sitting next to him in the car made Alpha's heartbeat so loudly he could hear it in his ear. They have been dating for almost two years and this man still affected him in this way. Alpha before could never imagine himself dating someone so far away, but Charlie was special.

They met when he was taking classes abroad and it changed his life forever. Every day still when he saw Charlie's face over the phone with his cute freckles it did things to Alpha. Now that he was going to be physical with him again, Alpha couldn't wait. He was able to visit him in Croatia in between this time but showing him his home was going to be so much more special to Alpha...

A notification popped up on his phone taking him out of his thoughts. He looked down.

"The plane has landed : - )" The text read.

Alpha's heart sped up even faster.

Oh.

The flight got in early.

"Ok. I am about to leave. You better not lose your phone again > : )." Alpha wrote out on his phone.

"lol if I do its only a flip phone u know I ain't got no iPhone."

Alpha offered to help get him a smartphone but Charlie told him there was no point. He had phones before but all of them ended up broken or stolen. Alpha hoped one day if they lived together he could help Charlie not be that clumsy.

That was only a dream right now. Alpha typed out a quick response of laughter before he turned the key to his car.

-------

Alpha scanned the airport car line. He knew Charlie could be easily found. The man had a heavy build along with having the unique feature of an eye patch. Charlie also had his long hair and earthy clothing choices. He stood out without even trying. Alpha liked someone who stood out. Before Charlie, of course, he could never imagine himself dating a man. But besides that, he always found himself looking down at men who had long hair. He thought of them as being untidy, but Charlie's hair was different. It was soft and always smelled nice.

He couldn't imagine what he would be like if he did not meet Charlie. Where would he be now?

He swallowed hard. Fuck, he was nervous. That feeling felt so alien to him, he could give career-changing presentations with a breeze but this messed with him. He had to make time matter between them; it wasn't like other couples going on a casual date. Every time they meet in person he felt like he had to make sure their time was spent well. Every second mattered.

He just had to keep in mind that Charlie would be more nervous with his anxiety. He was the confident one.

He drove through the airport pickup loop another time. He slowed down near the section that was Charlie's airline hoping to see him. He heard his phone ring so he reached over to answer it.

"I think I see your c-car," Charlie said without even saying hello.

"The hell? I don't see you? God, it is busy."

"Please be patient. You'll get to me. Uh, I'm by the red bus sign. Do you see it?"

"Hm ah Yes!" Alpha felt happiness as he saw the sign and his boyfriend standing under it. "I'll be there any second. I could be there faster if people learned to drive."

"Haha ok, Al see you in a bit," The line went dead as Alpha put his phone back in the cupholder. Eventually, the traffic moved along and he was able to pull himself along the side. His heart was beating out of his chest as he saw Charlie.

He was dressed up in a big comfy tan sweater that made him look like a teddy bear. His hair was mostly down except for his bangs being tied up in a man bun. He had only one big suitcase and a carry-on. It felt like he was experiencing love at first sight again. Alpha put his car into park as he got out. He walked up to Charlie and gave him a quick side hug being careful to not make a scene. Even if he lived in one of the gayest states in America, Alpha wasn't going to risk the wrong eyes seeing them.

Alpha went to grab his bag.

"You didn't have to get out. You know I can put my suitcase in the trunk myself."

"Oh please Charles, you know why I got out. What gentleman am I if I don't help out?"

"But I know you want to keep it-"

"Get in the car, besides I have to make sure you don't scratch up the back. I got it."

"Haha ok.."Charlie opened the passenger door and lowered himself down. Alpha opened the back trunk and swung the bag with ease. He quickly made his way back to the driver's side and got in to join Charlie. Before starting the car he took a moment to lay his hand on his knee and catch his one eye. He was here, he was real. Everything felt right. He squeezed his knee.

"How was your flight?" Alpha pressed a button to turn on his car.

"T-the flight was fine. I just hate airports... you know what I had to deal with."

"If I were there I would-"

"It's ok Al, I'm used to it."

"Hmph."

Alpha felt anger hearing Charlie talk about the incident with the security. If he ever traveled with Charlie he WOULD give the security hell with how they treat him. He couldn't imagine having to come out to random strangers. Being a trans man was already something Charlie tried to hide to the best of his ability...

Assholes.

"I got you something," Charlie said, cutting through the silence. Alpha glanced over to see him digging through his bag, pulling out a small bouquet of flowers. Alpha could see it was made up of roses and baby's breath. "I saw them at the airport and I thought of you. I know that you love flowers."

"Oh wow!," Alpha said in surprise. No one in his previous relationships got him flowers, this was really special. He then smirked, of course, he brought some for Charlie as well. What real man wouldn't? "Look in the back."

Charlie turned around and let out a laugh seeing the much bigger bouquet. He picked it up and brought it to the front smelling it.

"We are going to look so silly bringing these into the hotel. Do we even have vases?"

"I brought a vase for mine, maybe we can add the ones you gave me to it. It will lighten up the room every time we get back."

"That sounds cute."

"Yes yes. Did you get any sleep?" Alpha asked.

"Nah."

"You must be jet-lagged? After you check into the hotel room we can take a nap?"

"I don't feel tired! You're right in front of me!" Alpha felt so warm inside hearing that.

"We have to sleep somewhat!"

"I will! W-we will! Ugh! How is school?"

"You know I am doing amazing, Charlie. The idiots that are hired to 'teach' me are the issue."

"I see.."

"I am almost done, thank god. I will have to just go through the pain of finding a good law school after that. "

"I hope I can go to your graduation."

"Me too, I'll send you an invitation!"

"I'll try my best to make it."

"I'll pay everything in my pocket to get you to make it."

"Aha aw, Al," Charlie chuckled. Charlie always felt it was humorous how Alpha pushed to pay for things. Charlie had more money than him.

"How are you liking America so far anyway?"

"I haven't seen much! I have been here once before Alpha. Long ago."

"That's right. But only when you were a kid?"

"Papa had a beach house in this state. It was so long ago I forgot what city it was even in."

"Well In this town, not many things change. It's pretty much the same as how I remember it as a kid. "

"I d-don't like when things stay the same... When things don't change, then progress doesn't happen. Bad things don't get better."

Alpha smiled. He knew there was a deeper meaning to what Charlie had said. He liked deep.

"I agree with that statement greatly," Alpha stated. "Though there is a certain comfort in things staying the same too! We wouldn't want the world to blow up now wouldn't we?"

"Don't let me answer that Al," Charlie said. Alpha glanced over and frowned. That was a depressing answer. "But yeah I suppose you are right in a way. Uh anyway, are you still staying with me in the hotel?"

Alpha perked up even more.

"Yes, if you want. I have a packed bag."

Alpha felt his face go red as the thoughts went through in his head on the implication that he was staying over. Sex wasn't necessarily new. They had sex over the phone and exchanged nudes pretty often. It wasn't the most ideal form of intimacy for Alpha but what could be done being so distantly apart. They have had sex. Even last year Alpha lost his virginity to Charlie. Despite this, Alpha still felt inexperienced. Charlie being so far didn't give him much time to practice either.

"You want me to, right?"

"Y-yeah. I miss you a lot."

"Well, let's go check you in then. I'm sorry that you can't stay at the frat house. It wouldn't be the most ideal."

"I don't think I would want to stay there. I'm way too old to deal with that."

"I'm too old to deal with it too. Thank god I'm graduating this year. They are disgusting."

"Do they know where you are?"

"That is none of their business."

"Still aren't you the president or something."

"I am, and as president I demand they respect my boundaries."

"I don't think frat boys know what boundaries are."

"True. We will be much more comfortable at the hotel anyway." Their conversation fell off from there, so Alpha pressed harder on the gas. He was getting tired of driving. He needed Charlie physically.

------

"This is a pretty nice hotel," Charlie said as he opened the door to the room. Alpha personally didn't like it. It was average, small, and most likely not very clean. But it didn't matter, there were here together.

As soon as the door closed behind him Alpha made his way to wrap his hands around Charlie's waist pulling him close and pressing his face into his neck. The suitcase and flowers that Charlie held got pushed to the side as they pulled each other even closer.

Alpha kissed his neck and mumbled, "I missed you. I miss you so much."

"I missed you too Alpha," Charlie pulled away to turn around and embrace him. "You are such a sweetheart."

"It's in my blood."

He leaned down to place a kiss on his mouth, Charlie pushed in as well. The kiss lasted a good while before Alpha pulled away. He wrapped his arms around him again leaning down to press his face into his neck to breathe in. "I made dinner reservations..."

"I hope it has vegan options this time.." Charlie bantered back.

"Silence! That was one time!"

"I'm teasing!" Charlie pulled away and bent down to take off his shoes. Alpha did the same. In their hotel room, they were graced with a coach. The room has two full-size beds. Neither of them was brave enough to request a single. They both made their way to the couch, leaning against each other and sitting in silence. "Ugh, I should shower... It felt like such a long trip."

"Ah, ah yes. Go get comfortable Charlie. We have a few hours until dinner. Maybe we both can take a nap."

"Are you tired Al?"

He was. How could anyone sleep when they knew the love of their life was going to be near them soon?

"O-ok," Charlie placed another kiss on his mouth before getting up to go to the bathroom.

Alpha sighed leaning back against the couch, he heard the showerhead turn on. For someone who usually played it so cool, why did he get so shy when it came to being physically close. If he had enough balls, he would have asked to join Charlie in there. Instead, he just was sitting here listening to his heartbeat obnoxiously loud.

God, he was going to smell so nice when he got out, not that he smelled bad before... He could always ask if they could have sex when he gets out.

No, Charlie wouldn't want that. He just got clean. They had dinner plans. No gentleman would treat his partner like that. Their relationship wasn't about sex, it was far more intimate and close than that.

With all that thinking he didn't notice the water turn off and a voice from the bathroom coming out loud and clear.

"Uh, A- Alpha I forgot to bring clothes."

Oh. He forgot to remind him as well. Alpha wondered why he didn't just come out here with a towel but the clear answer was nervousness. Alpha, was here. Coming out like that could send mixed messages. Ah, so he made the right call not pursuing anything.

Or maybe this was the opposite and Charlie wanted him to try something. Other men would. No no, he needed respect. He needed direct orders.

"A-alpha?"

"Sorry! What would you want?" Alpha made his way over to the bag and started to unzip it.

"Uh, Ahah j-just hand me boxers and a tank for now."

Alpha nodded as he searched through the bag. He wasn't aware of Charlie's organizational routine so it wasn't clear where anything was. He was able to find boxers with ease but the tank was another issue. As he pulled clothes out he neatly folded them to put them to the side. Even if Charlie was only staying for a week and a half, Charlie could put the clothes in the hotel drawers.

As he searched he found a toiletry bag and pulled it aside to put it in the bathroom. Still no tanks. As he dug deeper he felt another bag that wasn't see-through like the toiletry. He paused lifting it, there weren't clothes in it. There was a long object. Maybe a hair straighter? Charlie didn't usually need one of those and if he did Alpha would have been more than happy to supply him with one, curiosity crossed Alpha as he unzipped it and looked in.

Oh.

As the realization came over him he felt his face run beat red. It was a light pink colored dildo. He has seen Charlie use sex toys on himself before but mainly with a small vibrator. This was new, Charlie never mentioned that he had this. Alpha glanced back to only realize that along with a bottle of lube there was a piece of clothing in the back along with the phallic-shaped object. He peaked closer to see it was a pair of boxers. A pair of boxers with a clear hole to insert something.

Despite Alpha's limited knowledge of sex, he knew what this meant. These toys were not something Charlie used on himself but more as a way to use on someone else.

Pegging. Pegging was the word. Charlie wanted to peg him...

Charlie wanted to peg him...

Alpha's face started to go from a beet red to a pale white.

"Uh Alpha?" Alpha shot up and he heard a voice echo not from the bathroom but from the room itself. He guessed that Charlie got tired of waiting.

"Uh, Charlie..." Alpha spun around still with the little bag in his hand. His brain felt dumb. It didn't help now that a half-naked Charlie was bare in front of him with only a towel. Even his usual eyepatch was taken off.

"What? You couldn't find it?" Charlie said. His eyes lowered down to see what Alpha was holding. "OH- OH oh my god!"

"I found out why you had problems with security..." Alpha blurted out.

"NO! NO! I don't- just put it away. I- UH GIve me my c-clothes!" Alpha could not move and only stared. "PLEASE I feel very uncomfortable!"

"SORRY. Uh uh here!" Alpha dropped it. He turned on his heel to grab the boxers and a random shirt and threw them over to Charlie. Charlie grabbed it and ran to the bathroom shutting the door in a hurry.

When he was out of his presence Alpha's brain started to catch up with what just happened. Oh no. He shouldn't have been that noisy, it was inappropriate...

No matter how long they were together, there were clear boundaries every time they physically met. Charlie didn't owe him anything and Alpha stepped way over the line. He needed to fix this. Alpha walked up to the bathroom door and tapped it.

"Charlie... it is ok," No sound came from the bathroom and Alpha's heart dropped "Charlie, please."

"I-it's weird! I feel weird," the voice in the bathroom sniffed.

"Hon, we both have seen each other naked... We have done so much more than that. It is ok."

"I should have told you!"

"Charlie, please come out. We should have this conversation face to face."

It was silent again before Alpha heard the lock on the door click. The door did not open though on its own, so Alpha reached to slowly pull the door open himself. The room was thick with steam from the shower. Charlie was dressed and was sitting on the toilet seat with his head in his hands. The eyepatch was back on his face.

"I'm sorry about that," Charlie said immediately.

"Charlie, it's ok. It is my fault if anything. We can just forget about it if you want?"

"Haha, I can't forget this!"

Alpha calculated his next move. It was rather bizarre to see Charlie so embarrassed about anything with sex. He was the one who had years of experience compared to Alpha. Why was the concept of pegging shameful?

He slowly walked toward his boyfriend.

"Come here," Alpha took his hand. "We will have a good time, ok?"

He waited for permission before he kissed his hand.

"Yeah," Charlie concluded. Alpha didn't know what to say next but Charlie continued for him, "Al, I really don't think I can forget about something like this."

"If you don't want to forget about it, that is fine too! I don't mind knowing about this. We have made love my dear, there is no shame between us."

"It just caught me off guard."

"It caught me off guard as well!"

"I'm sorry."

"Charlie, stop saying that you are sorry, it isn't that big of a deal. I just don't understand why I haven't heard about this before... We have talked about so many things."

Throughout their online journey, it was comfortable to talk about their many desires over text or phone. Before Charlie, Alpha had a clear vision of only having sex after marriage. That was before he even knew he liked men. People change, and people find out new things about themselves.

When they got together the desire to have Charlie was just too strong to wait. He couldn't wait to fuck him. The dreams were too strong. The need to see his body was strong. Charlie told him all about the other experiences he had and his favorite things to do in bed. Alpha was happy to deliver and he was happy to finally admit his own wants.

Fucking Charlie for the first time was one of the greatest highlights of his life. Despite the crude-sounding nature of it, he would keep that image in his heart forever.

Now, Alpha didn't understand why Charlie never opened up about wanting to switch. He never brought it up himself because the way that gay men fucked scared him. It was an area he didn't particularly find the cleanest, and it looked like it hurt. This didn't mean he would shut down Charlie if he asked, but he never did...

He assumed Charlie felt the same... Guess he was wrong.

"Alpha you clearly only want straight sex!" Charlie recited suddenly. This caused Alpha to flinch.

"Excuse me?"

"You would have mentioned it if you ever wanted me to f-fuck you. But you didn't!" Charlie held up a shaky finger. Tears were forming in the corner of his eye.

"I-" The sudden tension was scaring him.

"Don't deny it!"

"Charlie please! What are you even talking about..?"

"I just... I know you have said before that you see me completely as a man but sometimes..."

"Charlie no-no," Alpha kneeled down to pull him closer.

"I know this is just a sex thing and it probably doesn't mean anything, but I can't help think you imagine me as a woman."

"You think that when we have sex I think of you as a-"

"Sometimes ... I don't know... I'll shut up..."

"Charlie, I definitely only see you like a guy. You are my man. My boyfriend," Alpha perked him on his forehead. "It is kind of strange that we have never talked about you topping... Listen, the first reason why I never said anything is that I am clearly more of a top hahah!"

"Clearly," Charlie chuckled.

"But! It is also that we don't really see each other often...at least physically. And I know you are thinking about our online encounters but that is because you didn't mention it! I'm horrible at bringing up sexy topics."