All Comments on 'Living in Exile'

Great first effort!! I'm glad this damn story was finished, so thanks for doing it!

.

A couple of things: the flashbacks were way too long and got in the way of a great story. People who read this already understand Henry, so these could've been cut way back. In fact, the second flashback sort of got wrapped up in the present. Also, dialogue needs to be separated into who's speaking it. Under Literotica 'How To' there's a great dialogue writing piece.

.

What you did a good job of conveying is just how bloody intransigent and mercurial Henry is! That came across in the original story and your built upon that.

.

On a side note, I've been to both Volgograd (Stalingrad) and Providence. Honestly, I prefer the former. If America ever needs an enema, I think Providence might be the place to stick it!

.

Great job and thanks for posting this!!!

No it’s a RAAC, good read though

Not bad for a first effort but all talking heads

Awesome! Looking forward to your next!

Good job look forward to your original works

Really did not like the characters in this story.

Writing was decent effort.

Thanks for the work.

A brilliant first effort! You are a very talented story teller.

Please don’t let this be your first and last submission - more please!

I enjoyed it but what I was looking for is how she would respond to his not remaining celibate during the separation yet he flew off the handle when he felt she wasn't. Not the part on the phone, that was explained as her cold reaction causing his anger. I mean when she is explaining the call and how she had dinner the night before. He assumed the guy spent the night and she had sex. True she cheated and he can think of it as getting even but there was nothing stated.

Also, her not knowing why she cheated is just wrong. Everyone knows why they cheated. They found the person interesting, handsome or beautiful, curious, not getting it at home... So she could have just told him she wanted to have sex with someone else. Leaving this open ended just tells me she cannot promise that it would not happen again. Her stating that knowing the pain she caused would prevent her from doing it again is a good response but again, he may just think she will be more careful if there is a next time.

Good story. One important comment concerning style. And epilogue is not supposed to bee a third the story. It is merely to tie up a few loose ends. I use a stupid ====== to indicate a change of scene in the story. In you story just eliminate the thought of it being an epilogue and go on with the story.

You did well. Decent story. I gave you 4 stars.

Looking forward to some more of your work. Well done

The appearance of this story motivated me to read Just_Words original again, and all the comments, and it was even better than I first remembered. Such quality.

Your effort is to be commended....a very good effort. I admit I immediately reacted with a big “WTF?” when Bri behaved the way she did on the phone call....but the explanation....stupid advice from a quack counselor....was congruent with the behavior. My only quibble is that I would assume Bri and her sister talked constantly about her situation, and that this advice would have come up in discussion and the sister would have said “WTF?” as well 😊

But overall, your ending was faithful to the premises in the original, and therefore a satisfying take on what might have happened.

And oh yeah....for a first story, well done! Better than much of the dreck more prolific contributors dump on this site daily!

Very well written and the story was gut wrenching and solid. Good for you

I wonder if others understand just how hard it is to continue someone's work. You actually, until the end, kept the rhythm of the original story. That is extremely difficult. It reminds me of twin brothers, artists Tim and Greg Hildebrandt, whose brush strokes were so similar that they couldn't tell who did what when they were both involved in the same piece of art (the original Star Wars poster for example). I believe if the original author had continued this would be his ending. It would be interesting to read his comments. Great ending. I certainly will read this again, and again, along with the original.

Mr. Lauren,

Congratulations on your first story. You have been a long-time commentator and I have seen you credited with editing. Glad you dipped your toe. I also congratulate you on handling a reconciliation well.

I will tell you that had I been editing your story, I would have said, "More is required." Characters drive a story, not plots. That is something many never understand. Unless I know your characters, I don't care about them. You were long on plot and short on character.

You did well, tho, and I hope to read more from you. Randi.

Good character descriptions. Some editorial tidying required and a 'fresh eyes' proof reader or two would help. Thank you for your work.

Apologies if this appears twice, new Beta area will not me log in (have reported it several times) so this may appear under anon also.

Angst, made like and hate the story. I disliked both characters. We never found out why she cheated or why she thought it ok to cheat. She would know.

He turned into a pussy in taking her back with knowing why she cheated

Scores 3/5

" I ran away from Bri" This is a childish cliche used by many writers here to write the husband as weak because he leaves. The truth is that the adulterous wife no longer has any claim on her husband, including a claim that he provide her with his presence in any way. Leaving is "shunning", a well known form of nonviolent punishment for a major transgression. Quakers, Christians, and many others in the USA have practiced it historically. In Britain, it's known as being "Sent to Coventry". It is not only entirely appropriate, it is NOT a sign of weakness. In fact, treating it as "running away" reflects the modern feminist fallacy that all relationship problems or controversies can and must be somehow talked out. The "counselor" bilge that keeps recurring in these stories is a reflection of this fallacy. The "counselor" is usually a lazy way of telling a story. Resorting to the counseling "counseling" trope because it is somehow needed to discover why a wife cheats did something is idiotic. Do you really want to portray women as lacking moral agency? Wives are written that way here all the time. It's both wrong and boring. It's also an echo of the Freudian fraud. Somehow the general public hasn't learned that psychoanalysis became untenable in the 60's because the theory is scientifically unsupportable AND because it was discovered Freud made up a good bit of what he based his "theories" on. Female characters who are written as needing counseling to discover "why" they committed adultery are ridiculous. An adult whose head is not clouded by such feminist ideological smog understands that not all problems need to be or can be talked out. Sometimes you have to recognize sunk costs and cut your losses.

Overall, the story shows some creativity and plausible character development, but it also at times wallows in emotions and "relationship" twaddle, which makes the story become tedious.

You write well from a technical perspective, and for all it's flaws, this is an excellent first effort and is better than most of what I see here. So, Njlauren, you get a 5.

You can try to deny the RAAC till the cows come home. Many readers feel anything less than torture of the cheating wife and her lover is RAAC. Logic is not effective in that debate. This was an interesting first effort. My comment would be that you meandered well past the ending and wound up out in left field picking daises. Many readers want to hear minute details about shit, especially "ever after" but it makes a dull story. Take it from a guy who is told daily that he cannot finish a story, stop the story before it becomes babble. That was exactly what the original author did with his chapter. He knew when to stop, God bless him, and that is a very good thing to learn.

This is a very well written story and you have a lot to offer as an author. Can't say I'm crazy about the content but then you have to understand you can't please everyone. Please keep up with your writing. I look forward to reading more from you.

Very insightful story. A great read, some minor typos, but all and all a realistic tale.

and not just for a first offering. A suggestion from one who has posted and been raked over the coals many times. First don't apologize, you have done and will do more writing than many who haunt this site. It takes courage and a commitment to put your self out there.

Second, the comment from Gambinluck concerning the epilogue is spot on. As he said it shouldn't be the start of another part of the story, It should be a wrap up of the story.

Next, in your preface and notes at the end of the story it is best not to explain too much. Things like the husband realizing he could have been part of the problem are important and help answer the question why and should be part of the story.

Last, my little rant here is not to put you down. Hopefully you'll take it as a constructive critique and a wish to help you. I'm am not the know all and end all of writing but a few things you pick up or learn after you've put yourself out there time after time.

Good work, well done and I enjoyed the story. A fine finish to Just Words story. Thank you for your hard work and hope to see more from you.

Woodmanone

5***** all the way! That is an excellent story! You stayed true to the story line and the characters. I found every paragraph rang true.

I've been trying to construct a follow on story myself and so far I've not been able to do it. Without thinking about it, I buried a few obstacles in my original story that I'm finding difficult to get around. Sometimes forgiveness is just a leap of faith, but that leaves too many unanswered questions. You have addressed them in a very realistic way. I enjoyed this story very much, but now the bar is set even higher for me. I'm glad you wrote this story because I have real doubts that I ever will. Great job!

Very good first effort. I enjoyed it.

Nice first effort. You were following up one of the best authors on this site. Great choice of inspiration. The story was solid and I agree - sometime yes sometimes no to reconciliation, in this case it made good sense. I too understand the betrayal syndrome, flying off the handle at some offense (minor to major) to the detriment of your life & relationships. I have watched my best friend do it time and time again. It's cost him 2 marriages, the companionship of 2 out of 3 brothers, a son, and most all of his friendships over the 40 years since he was my freshman roommate in college. etc.. He's done it to me, but I am stubborn cuss who won't let him get away with it. I see how destructive it can be and you told the story of this very well.

I appreciate the comments on this story, especially the ones commenting on technique like dialog, or the Epilog that ate Cincinnati (that one I should of caught). In many ways continuing a story is much, much harder than writing your own, trying to keep it in synch with the original authors, consistent in tone, is very difficult, I am happy that some of you saw continuity there. I can see people not liking the characters or the ending, everyone comes into this with their own point of view. Someone said that him running away was not weakness, and no, running away is not necessarily weakness, the problem is he runs away and then he basically is locked in stasis, unable to move forward (ie divorced) or back (reconcile), he is unable to (In my view) because of his demons. When I write I try to remember the characters are human beings and as such rarely fit neat boxes (on the other hand, I admire stories like Saddletramp's bc he writes with such gusto it makes for a great tale). Again, thanks for the observations and criticisms, negative and positive, they are all helpful.

Your first story was very, very, good, and an excellent continuation of Just_Words work. I see it as a very difficult and hard earned reconciliation, and not really a RAAC. You left it as a reconciliation in progress, with a lot of work for both of them to do. I enjoyed it.

A worthy follow up. Well done.

I'm glad to see the positive comments, you deserve them. It should be especially rewarding to even have Words giving his positive reaction! The two of you made a great team. I look forward to more from you in the future. 5 stars.

somewhere east of Omaha

Could have used a more pronounced structure -- as it stands, it rambles a bit. Still, it's an effective, heartfelt piece of work, so congrats on that.

Finally you did it! And immediately a hit! Hope to read more from you. Regards, Rob. Ofc 5 stars.

I like this and it's was well written and executed. So much so that I cant help but pivot my own and others life experiences against it. So when Henry called Bri and she answered so casually and then a dude voice was heard in the background. Her response/excuse when she met up with Henry is so left field that blaming it on a quack therapist who told her to date around and treat any conversation with him as if dealing with a child; is so unbelievable to me. This just resonated to me where when you get busted and you start throwing up lies and dis-information and clouding the issues while playing on the emotions and feelings that your partner still has for you. So you basically lie your ass off in the hopes of them taking you back.

A more believable scenario is that she was creeping around while telling all his friends and family that she is breaking down and in the dumps because she misses her husband. Then out of the blue because he had no contact with her in a year he called her when she had her side piece over. So in the moment as the conversation was happening she had to play it cool so that the side piece and the husband did not find out about each other but that went tits up as soon as Kevin heard the dude's voice.

Here's a hint, stop playing follow the leader here with the whiny wannabe writers who create unreal and ridiculous therapists here. Few are as bad as the little twisted knickers boys like to portray them as. Write real characters, not characters others have written.

I did just skim after that part as I felt I couldnt trust your writing after that. Before that part I did enjoy it and though I had a feeling it would be a RAAC story I was looking forward to what got them there. Only gave it a 2 as you derailed it.

I don’t think you failed - or fell short. It wouldn’t have necessarily improved your tale, but personally I would have the friend referring the therapist ostracized, and the therapist crushed!

That worked really well. Especially for a first story.

I know of one case when a husband was seeing an older, female therapist. The therapist convinced him to start having sex with her.

Turned out that he State Licence had been cancelled some years before for having sex with her patients. So, bat shit crazy therapists do exist.

Who Hates Jane Austen??

OK, many people, particularly many men, will not see mannered early nineteenth century novels mostly about who will marry whom as their recreational reading of choice. I get that. But "hate" Jane Austen? Why, for God's sake?

I'm sorry but I don't understand and accept the weisse explanation on page 2 about what happened when the husband called her for the 1st time in several months. It makes no sense

.

The wife who is desperate to get her husband back after all this time is on a casual date because the wacko therapist suggested.According to the wife they were not intimate and not having sex. So then why did she react that way when her husband.... Who she claimed she wants desperately back... Finally calls her for the 1st time in several months?

.

Why is the white concerned about how the casual date is roux acting to a phone call from her Husband?

.

Why isn't the wife saying shut the fuck up asdhole I am talking to my husband who I haven't talked to in several months?

Yes. Damn good story. Very creative. Having said that, she cheated because she got drunk. The phone call would have been the last straw for me. Sounds to me like she just found a different way to manipulate him. You could say the author knows better but the author can only know what the narrator would know

Keep writing. You are good already.

Loved it. The story showed how painful and hard a reunion might be.

This wa a great read as it took the readers emotions all over the a place, like a relationship might.

Checking comments. If Woodmanone compliments you, you can damn sure feel well complemented. And you got it from the original author as well. Pretty much won the Oscar with your first performance. Well done.

Congratulations on publishing your first story. Great job! I look forward to reading your next.

You mostly captured the feel of the original story in the beginning, then slowly changed it into your voice — very well done.

It does get a bit wordy compared to the original, but that may actually be your true voice. The original had characters speaking like I would so it was a bit more believable as a true narration of real people. I know doing dialogue is tough. It has to sound like real people speaking, and that’s hard. Heck, I know I don’t talk precisely the way I write, and it really shows. I think I read somewhere that you need to read the scene out loud to see if your speaking voice matches your dialog’s voice. Now I realize you may have done that and that really is your voice and the people who surround you. If it is, well just ignore this little diatribe.

Loved the plot line. That felt very real, as it could happen that way in reality. It was complicated, but again realistically complicated. It was somewhere on page 2 that it started (for me) to get wordy. And by page 3 I ALMOST started scanning (ok I probably did a tiny little bit. But only a little).

One thing wasnt clear, but maybe loosely implied. Did Bri see the gut wrenching painful deep in your soul therapist first? Then go to the feminist therapist second? If so why? (Yeah, it’s probably where I was scanning so missed it). Or was it the other way around, or I suppose simultaneously? Again why?

I LOVE the way you played and incorporated the feminist therapist. And you say it’s based on a true story? Nice. When you get the critique of that character as being totally unrealistic, you can say, “Did you read to the end? The end where I say this was based on a true event?” ‘Butt wipe’. [Like that February sucks story were GA he says the Celebrity Slut Ray really exists and he had conversations with several women who said that it does, and GA based the whole story on that premise. But then all the comments and redux stories that totally run over that point.]

Oh well, enough crap. Thank you for your effort/work. 4-stars.

5 bright shiny stars. Thanks for writing and posting it. Looking forward to your next one

Wimp and a brainless bitch

Great energy and enthusiasm. But you need to give yourself more time and experience. The dialogues were stilted, then puzzling, then morose, then hopeful, all without plausible cause or understanding.

Who blames making bad choices on getting bad advice? Immature lazy and weak people. A recommended plumber walks into your home, tracking in mud and smelling of booze. What's your excuse for allowing that person to work on your house? Bri knew she was getting stupid advice, but tried to follow it?

Then the whole point that this penitent regretful wife supposedly just sat by her phone and waited for her long lost husband to call, when she knew where he lived? She wasn't sleeping on his door step as soon as she had his address, make him call the police and get a restraining order to keep her away? Yeah, she was really really trying.

So your characters had some energy, but almost no brains. More of the Stupid People Live Fucked Up Lives plot. Your style of having a character say a line, then go into some background explanation or mental dithering, rather than allow the other character to respond, was annoying. If others enjoy that partitioned disjointed dialogue then keep at it. I found it very distracting, and sometimes puzzling. Why not let these two people talk and let their dialogue reveal the background or mental ruminations?

I hope you keep at it and look forward to reading future work.

Thanks for the effort.

Aside from a few typos i can't find fault with this story. Truly excellent for a first time. While I usually prefer BTB stories, this one (and the original) rang true to me for things that actually happened in my real life. I also prefer BTB stories for things that happened in real life as well, but this is about your story - not mine.

I really enjoyed this and the emotional and psychological depth this story went into - despite being only 3 pages. I too have known a few psychologists as you've described - enough to sour me on the whole profession - and that gave your story an extra grounding in reality.

I hope to see some more works from you in the future, please keep writing!

I really enjoyed your perspective on the struggle for the characters. I have embarked on a personal project to better understand the concept of love and your story had some take a ways for me, thank you for that gift.

I hope to see more stories from you.

Take 3 of my used condoms to chew on, On your way out! Pure cucky crap !

first, I would have dumped the whore at first. Also my so called family would be as dead to me as the whore was. Then she would be in jail, because she slapped him. There wouldn't be a second chance.

Very good first story. You're a brave soul tackling this type story and in Loving Wives to boot for your first story.

It did seem to me that his friends and family were lying to him about how broken up Bri was especially when she started dating other men. That would be a very big sticking point for me to believe any of them about anything.

I just can't figure the secret of why some stories don't get the rating I feel they deserve. I remember the original story's beginning by Just_Words and thought it really needed an ending. This is a really good continuance from the original. It was put together and flowed seamlessly from the original and was a great story. Thanks for your story. Some will be angry because you dared to not BTB in your story. The original needed a happy ending and this fills the bill nicely. 5 Stars from me.

Congratulations Mr Lauren on your first submitted story. LW needs all the competent authors it can get. As others have said, a worthy submission.

.

Lue.

Ps: What if the therapist was right? After all, no other reason (or even excuse) has been explored.

Finally a very realistic story about cheating. And the consequences. I love the BTB, some RAAC stories are good. But his one was exceptional. He did what I would do, leave and just go into excile.

What a waste of time. Completely missed on this.

Better luck next time

I thoroughly loved this story and the emotional journey I shared with the couple as I read it. I wanted to put it down and move forward but got hooked on how the truth would evolve and what would happen to their relationship. I enjoyed the story, the writing and the pace.

Thanks and I hope to see more of your stories.

.... "She jumped up, and slapped me, hard, across the face." and that's the dealbreaker. Whoever strikes has lost forever. There is no excuse for violence, no matter who it comes from. Using violence to defend one's health or one's life can be justified, or that of other inferior people, but violence in a partnership of any kind is never allowed! And don't tell me it can happen. That can't happen. Just as it cannot "happen" that you cheat in a marriage. That too is unforgivable. There is no reason to justify that. Anyone who tries that just shows that his character does not correspond to what he expresses to others. It doesn't matter how long you develop a story and how long you tell it, things that are becoming more and more common in our societies just show how decadent these societies have become. Regarding your ability to write and tell good stories, I can only say, try your own idea because this continuation is well done, but it only shows your talent sometimes. Still, good luck for the next story!

Just don't ever let her meet Marc Lavere(?) She'll be out of there like a shot. Not bad ,as stories go. The Bear approves. Don't take each other for granted. 4 stars. It seemed honest enough.

The BEAR

Nicely written story. Well done.

Not liking Jane Austen is your loss. What do you not like? The satire, the sardonic humour, the cutting wit? Jane Austen is not a 'romantic' author, she is a satirist. So the likely issue is that you don't see that in her writing, which is more a reflection on you than her.

Great start for your first time. I enjoyed it

Wow! this is very good for a first try. I salute you. Especially the last two pages which show emotional intelligence. It really does take two to tango and there are at least three sides to every story. You painted the struggle and hard work going into being a couple again.

R.

Sorry but this was a crapy story. Too much drama, crazy therapist. If I was Gene I would end my friendship with Henry. Everyone here were a bunch of losers... *

I think this was a fitting and good ending to the original. It was also fairly realistic, in the sense that overcoming the issues and each of their individual flaws, was far from easy. Trust -can- be rebuilt, if both are committed to the relationship... or at least rebuilt enough that the unexpected suspicions don’t rule.

I came back to this story after reading your second effort. I will not address the critics, but I will note something exceptional about njlauren; she has the empathy and reading comprehension necessary to truly get the original author's intent.

.

What I also see signs of are critical thinking skills in the top one percent range. Lauren, I really do like the way you think.

Well written and easy to read but the way the story unfolded I'm not sure it lead to reconciliation. Was she a one time cheater, two times, three - and how many post separation "fuck buddies" were involved. Passion for her husband, passion for her Ex? Yeah a psychologist gave her bad advice but she was more than willing to listen. Still a 4* effort but maybe the sequel deserves a sequel - did they really make it or did Henry demand a hall pass or Bri decide fuck buddies weren't as bad as she made them out to be.

Good story, true to the first part by Words. Thank you for your story and I hope to see more in the future.

somewhere east of Omaha

hate to say this but....HARRYIN VA is right. The wife is supposedly devastated over losing her husband and what she has done and is desperate to have any sort of contact with him. She is on a casual date when he finally called her and she reacts that way to the phone call??

The other important point here is that everybody continued to blame him and that the wife never told the rest of her family that she liked them. He is still the badcguy he is still the one being hated and he did nothing wrong. This is a huge plot hole which really destroys the story. Miscommunication is 1 thing but to have him still being followed as the bed guy to all this time is just awful

Well written, not a RAAC, but the MC and the wife are both losers.

MC did not "run away." He placed "time, distance, and shielding" between himself and a toxic relationship. Think of the wife as radioactive waste, and either distancing or demolition are the sane choices. It's not "blowing up" when your friends and family act like assholes to you. Granted, many/most were acting on incomplete information, but it was they who "jumped the gun" by trying to tell the injured parted what to do. Not their business.

And the wife ? Oh, lord she's a nothingburger. Do they actually make women that gullible? No wonder he cheated. And if women like her exist, she'll do it again. She lacks enough spine to not cheat again.

Very good. 4 stars

A total waste of the time it takes to read it. -!*

I stopped reading the second he asked for her forgiveness. Why is it so hard for an author to stick to the plan, stay true to the husband character. You built a case as to why the husband felt betrayed by friends, family, and wife. You drove that point home over and over. He would have seen the wife showing up like that as a setup, just another betrayal.

Even if you want the reader to see the husband as acting irrationally, that shit doesn't just turn off. Hell, you needed another chapter just to walk him back to being on speaking terms with them. And this has more to do than his he and his wife. What about the other relationships? Damn I hate a story that rushes to a finish.

All that time and effort and all you managed to come up with was another pathetic RAAC story.

Yes, it is indeed a RAAC story, I believe there should be a requirement that anyone posting a RAAC story be required to state in advance that it is, to save us from reading about a wimpy cuck taking back his cheating wife when she doesn’t know why she did it.

Helluva tale and a good try but a woman who would fall for the advice she was given is too stupid. A woman would would slap him, especially when ALL this is her fault, is definitely someone to steer clear of. I'd take a big pass on her.

Brilliant!!

Great start however where is the ending, looking for part2 or more

Idiotic nonsense. She cheats, when he calls she has another man there ready to fuck and she deliberately acts like a cold bitch to her husband to take control and make sure he knows he can't manipulate her, then when she sees the husband she is so regretful and contrite that she slaps him in the face and instead of bodily throwing her out the door he takes her back?

There's a truth that when someone sues another for millions and then says "it's not about the money," it's about the money.

Similarly when you say the ending is RAAC before you posted the story, it pretty much crossed your mind it is RAAC.

It's like a kid crying "Not me" when something breaks.

I love it. Not a RAAC. She only fell off the wagon once; didn't have an affair. And it took lots of therapy for BOTH parties to be able to reconnect.

Lots of unforgiving fools on this site. One strike and it's BTB time! Really?!!

Well done. Reconciliation took LOTS of work and growth by both parties.

I agree that this isn't a RAAC. Too many people call ANY reconciliation a RAAC. Whether you agree with the reconciliation or not, it's obvious that Bri worked hard for it, and it wasn't just handed to her.

You did a very fine job here. RAAC is just useless except as a crude, ugly stereotype. While they are religious terms, and thus inspire negative responses in some folks, the culture we have now has lost any valid understanding of the ideas of repentance (it isn't being sorry you got caught, it's genuine remorse and changing direction, which is hard) and forgiveness (it isn't pretending an offense never happened, it is renouncing vengeance or retaliation) and restoration, which is trying to go on, doing the work of rebuilding. You didn't use those words, but you seem to have the idea!

3 Stars . She is plaquing him like a fiddle . I bet She was cheating on him when he called her . Kick her to the curb

Very well done. A worthy follow to Just_Words near perfect ending

Nice story with good character development. I thought it was just the right length and the dialogue was excellent

Agreed, wonderful job! Great resolution to this tale. Hope to hear more from you!

Way to write a weak, pathetic pussy of a husband. I mean really, the author had the audacity to make him apologize to the cheating slut for her being a cheating slut!!!! And then he takes on the responsibility of her being a cheating slut. How fucking ludicrous is that? Take the whore back when you're going to live your life waiting for the next time she didn't know why she had to fuck the guy at the water cooler at work? I don't think so. Not for a guy who had been originally written as someone who wasn't taking any shit. A randomly timed phone call and she was in the process of getting fucked when he called. What are the chances that this was the largest coincidence imaginable or was it the same thing she'd been doing the past year on a regular basis. Well the author had raac in mind and he was going to rush to it regardless of logic.

Another good story. Excellent end to Life in Exile. Please write more!

You created a good CUCK/RAAC Story.... Too bad...

It's always humorous and entertaining to read the comments after these stories- this might be one of the most polarizing. 'Hate it, love it', it's a RAAC, it's clearly NOT a RAAC, on and on..... My take- liked it, and gave it a 5, notwithstanding the hypocrisy of him 'not being celibate' during his absence, and being furious at her. Not cool.

Ok story. 4 stars

So she had no reaction at all to him saying he was not celibate during their year separation yet he was upset she was even dating? What is fair is fair I guess and ya, she cheated. But she should have some reaction.

As for having a kid now? Huge mistake. They are not done healing and no they bring in a kid. They are doomed.

Excellent story, love your writing. How many kids did they end up having? Bri would probably be proud of them just like she is their father, her loving husband!

Convince that sniveling effeminate shadow of a man that he can trust you, even though he clearly can't, and in a few days, you can get back to spreading. See can you sell him some time share while you're at it. That loser will buy anything.

If he still can't trust her at this point, which he clearly doesn't, just suck it up and move on. Why keep eating nails? Does he move back home, and spend the rest of his life watching her every move, waiting for a slip? Does he endure the endless condescending looks and "I told you so's" from their friends and family? And for what? A slightly less miserable life and an early grave? At some point love isn't enough. If it was, she wouldn't have cheated in the first place. Happiness can be found literally anywhere, so why continue to look in the one place that destroyed it. It's stupidity. You can love something that's is terminal to your health, but that love doesn't mean you have to be stupid enough to keep doing it.

A very good ending to the story. Yes, I think you got it right from the original story. Certainly a 5.

I did not understand why all the family accused him after the phonecall. I might need to read the story again and I intend to do that. It's the biggest compliment I can give you.

Good story!

4

2 stars - I did not like either of the MC's - her for being a cheating slut - him for being a wimpy/cuck. I also do not see any reason for a reconciliation to be considered in this instance.

It takes a lot more than great sex to make a relationship work - trust, honesty, love, ethics and thinking about your partner first - before you do something stupid. When a partner cheats - ALL trust is lost forever - and if they do not understand, nor can they explain why they did it - then there is no chance for a relationship to develop.

No... Too much psycho-gobledygook of the author's unqualified invention. The way written , the male MC is both a case of arrested development and waste of breathable air if you ask me... Also, it is PhD (Philosophiae Doctor) but you wouldn't know it, would you? Your making fun of an extremely hard earned title reminds me of that fable of Aesop, about the fox and how he dismissed as worthless the grapes he couldn't reach...

Please get someone to help you with your "Joking" in the story. You do not have a natural gift for it. Actually it's more like you have no gift for it. Consult spmeone before trying to add what you think is a funny dialogue, because chances are it ain"t!

I thought was (unlike some other posters here) a good continuation of the original story. Yes, even cheating only one time can destroy a marriage if there is no remorse. But that was not the case here. Getting back together seemed the right course of action in this case.

KaeYo

Good writing skills and an excellent continuation of a great story.

Keep going! I'd like to see more of your own work.

Best Regards,

=Alextasy

One thing I can't get my head around is the obsession with knowing why. If you had made a commitment, there is no good reason why. End the commitment first, before you go looking elsewhere.