All Comments on 'Living in Triple X'

I liked the story and will read more as I can. You have a good writing style but please learn the difference between a few verbs and pronouns. You use "seen" when it should be "saw" and you improperly use "your" and "you're" as well as "there" and "their". These little things really detract from a unique and well constructed story.

Thank you for sharing your work.

Chuck

Thank you Chuck for your informative comment. I have made the changes you suggested along with running the story through the grammar and spellchecker in Microsoft Word. Interestingly enough, I wrote this story using Apple’s Pages software. Even with Proofreader on as I am writing, it doesn’t catch the things that Word does. That was on thing that I learned submitting this story. Another is that I could sure use another pair of eyes on my work to catch such mistakes. It is difficult to find proofreaders when writing erotic literature, but much more so when dealing with the amount of controversial material that can be found throughout this story.

For the most part, I have left the dialogue grammar unchanged to capture the vernacular of the characters. I am wondering if it is the grammar or the controversial nature of the material involved with this story that have kept it down in the voting process. With the changes I have made, maybe it can eke out a 4.

to settle down and wrap myself in. Pardon the dangling participle, but there was no other way to describe the feeling your story gave me. Aside, of course, from some discomfort now and then, when certain passages too closely resembled private life.

I'm not sure what controversial material you believe would deter a proofreader from being another pair of eyes for this erotic story. But they’d have to be a real "Wimpus Literaricai", to be reluctant to assist you with such an interesting tale. It’s delightfully romantic and your conflicted characters and varied pace keep my attention, whether sex is happening or not. I particularly enjoyed the accurate and interesting references to the artistic and fashion worlds. I can’t say how accurate the porn film references were, but they sounded great.

My big issue with Literotica stories is not so much verbs and pronouns, as homonyms. I assume the checking software doesn’t pick them up well, since they ARE actual words - just not the ones you mean. My favorites that crop up here over and over are “waste” instead of “waist”, “shutter” instead of “shudder” its and it’s, they’re, there, and their, and of course the infamous to, two, and too. Either you cleaned them up before I read your story, or you’re sufficiently aware of them, to have kept your story nearly free from the pesky devils. I’d have to proof it to be certain, but none of the usual suspects jumped out at me at first glance.

Anyway, congratulations on having written a great story! And if you ever need a proofreader . . .