Locked Down Overseas Ch. 01

Wow. I don't think I've ever read a story opening that started so pragmatically and ended up degenerating so quickly. Here's a couple with a six-year-old child, and this Grace gets locked down in Dubai. The sister puts her up, but then is kind of encouraging her to bed Reggie, Peter's brother? Of course what really blows my mind is a so-called husband is encouraging it more than anyone else! I mean, it's so weird because the story doesn't establish why this is something he wants, at least it does not provide any backstory to it. Really, it's mostly like they're having a pretty normal marriage, and there's no indication that either have any unusual fantasies or things like that, and then suddenly this is just sprung on everyone. How can the story justify Grace previously wanting this? It does not. How does the story establish Brad as thinking this is something he would want to witness? These are a lot of contradictions to process in a very short time, and although Grace kind of tries to resist it initially, the guy she's married to pushes her into it like they were swingers or whatnot. So he's willingly letting himself be cuckolded, and he's just giving his partner away and she's only been over there a couple weeks or a month? It's not like she was crawling the walls with desire, and it wasn't like she had been years without and couldn't get back to her Brad. Therefore just so casually throwing her to basically a random guy doesn't fit, and is not established by the story. Also, there could have been some discussion previously to at least establish it as perhaps an open marriage, but that wasn't done either. Then this guy raises the creep factor by two or three times by installing the monitoring software on his own wife's phone. I get that somehow this excites him.. but it doesn't make sense to take that step, given that she's going to tell him the next time that she calls him. The worst part about this is there's a child in the middle of this if you had at least established them as a couple with an open marriage with no desire to have children, then this setup would make a little more sense.. but it's like she doesn't have a reason to step out, and he doesn't have a reason to say it's okay, and then him giving her the salon trip, and the lingerie, and the waxing, and offering her up to anybody on a silver platter... just is totally non sequitur. At least if you had set it up that they had plenty of risky adventures together, that they had pretty much explored everything.. or at least explored a few things.. then it would make sense for this to happen. But in the end, you set up both these people plus the sister to be incredibly unsympathetic characters, and they're only deserving of some royal comeuppance for all of them, because while the sister may have a legitimate relationship with Peter, she's rooting for her sister to be unfaithful; her own husband is pushing her to be unfaithful; everybody is forgetting about the kid; there's really no doubts or obstacles created where the characters are having to overcome their own reservations about this.. with a limited exception being Grace at the onset; otherwise it's just hey while we may be in a relationship, I'm just going to throw you wherever I want. How does that establish any kind of dynamic except looking at her as a convenience? I mean I could almost understand it at least if they were established to be swingers, and then they went and switched and one had sex in view of the other, and your story established that as something they needed to do to feel good about each other again. But this is just degenerating into nothing for no reason. I mean I can't even see the fascination at any level at this point. It's just kind of like okay we've got three or four people with sex drives, and they're just going to mix it up anyway they can without any regard for any type of real convention. And I've said all that, despite the fact that this is a very short two-pager, which as I've already stated doesn't allow the story to develop and flesh out the reasons behind this. The biggest thing is to use the lockdown as a limiting factor implies that people were going stir crazy because this happened over months and even a year before they got to really do anything and therefore they were climbing the walls.. and that wasn't the case with this at all. So all I can say is for some reason this just misfired everywhere, and I don't see how really anybody can ignore the six-year-old boy that's in the picture, because that's kind of like dragging him into a sexual situation, and that's kind of borderline even for a submission in here for how it it is. So yeah there's no way I can write this higher than 1. It's just a real cluster f***.

Hope the relationship between Reggie and Grace deepens and becomes more intimate.

I think it would be super hot if hubby Brad could talk Grace into mailing him her wedding ring and possibly even her bc pills. Grace, (wearing only her engagement ring) people would likely assume that Reggie is her fiancée. Brad could also set her up with a fitting appointment at a swanky wedding/lingerie boutique. After all, all their new friends are expecting a wedding right? Please continue.

Great story five stars but I highly doubt it will be finished this author has quite a few stories started with no ending

We need the part 2 asap! This is hot!!!!