All Comments on 'Loneliest Man Who Ever Lived Ch. 16'

Another great chapter

5stars

I wish I could tell you how to fix it, but the "android" creation facility mimicked how "robotically" Franklin captured Harry on the premises; he just walked in--knowing it was a trap--and had no escape plan. Somehow, he must start being able to do more than only see these traps but have 1 or 2 ways out of them; Goldie's groaning reaction reflects what I felt.

You did successfully highlight Goldie as smarter and wittier than the Claire duplicate, as she used several questions to expose that. You also used the android to prove Goldie's conditioning for Harry, and produced some foreboding it might wear off. I'd love to think the real Goldie will stave it off, but I can't see you **not** using that to throw us a curveball down the road. I certainly appreciate how you partially used this chapter to present some comic relief, although there was nothing funny about such a near-perfect duplicate of Goldie getting shot; I was sure when the story made her that you would use her as bait or an "escape valve."

I feel like some of the holes in the story start to get bigger, so if you know of ways to plug them or seal them, please do so. I rated it a 5, but while Harry is smart, he isn't Dr. Who-level genius, and if he continues to walk into traps with no outs, that will turn off some readers.

Well we have gone through brainwashing, breeding, duplicating and what have left to do to Goldie and Harry? This turning into “ The Perils of Pauline” style story. Is Claire SO important to Goldie that must she must find her. Also we learned that the brainwashing will eventually wear off. There will be no need to find The Chair. Hoping for a major twist in next chapter.

Interesting but its hard to tell one chapter from another now, they keep getting caught constantly and that particular plot device is wearing thin. If the next chapters are an indication this will keep occurring

Despite how much I love the series, you've clearly crossed over to the Sci Fi & Fantasy genre. Otherwise, good stuff! 5*

Deedle , deedle, you have entered The Twilight Zone! Will you ever escape?

5

Harry can always use the old witchfinders test. Prick a suspected person with a needle and if there's no blood its an android. Goldie saves the day by blasting an opponent with a compression pistol for the third installment in a row. That dodge is getting seriously old already. 3 stars